THE DAWN OF BARBIE

December 16, 2022 6:59 AM

The first trailer for Greta Gerwig's Barbie movie staring Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling has dropped and it's something.
posted by octothorpe (73 comments total)

I have no idea what this movie is even going to be, but that trailer is amazing.
posted by jacquilynne at 7:02 AM on December 16, 2022 [36 favorites]

At least in this one, the dinosaurs will have feathers. Pink, luxurious feathers.
posted by mittens at 7:03 AM on December 16, 2022 [10 favorites]

The casting is perfect and Greta Gerwig is amazing for making me even consider watching this movie.
posted by ourobouros at 7:11 AM on December 16, 2022 [16 favorites]

I think there's going to be a lot of awakenings inspired by this movie.
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:15 AM on December 16, 2022 [7 favorites]

CAN I BUY TICKETS YET
posted by rhymedirective at 7:16 AM on December 16, 2022 [4 favorites]

I love how the conversation about this movie has gone from “stupid and terrible idea” to “stupid and amazing idea that I will definitely watch”.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 7:17 AM on December 16, 2022 [22 favorites]

Man alive I love a good 2001 homage.
posted by jquinby at 7:18 AM on December 16, 2022 [14 favorites]

If by something you mean something amaaaaazing. Can’t wait to see what Robbie will do with this character, she’s terrific.
posted by mochapickle at 7:22 AM on December 16, 2022 [2 favorites]

kind of hits me like the "Cocaine Bear" trailer someone shared previously to MeFi

everything wrong about it, but it excites my YES function and I can't stop telling people "we are ALL going to watch this"
posted by elkevelvet at 7:25 AM on December 16, 2022 [9 favorites]

The vintage Barbie black and white swimsuit and curly banged ponytail!!!!
posted by kimberussell at 7:27 AM on December 16, 2022 [7 favorites]

That was painful to watch.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 7:27 AM on December 16, 2022 [1 favorite]

I love that Gerwig and Baumbach's two most current collaborations are the very serious White Noise adaptation and this.
posted by octothorpe at 7:27 AM on December 16, 2022 [4 favorites]

Margot Robbie was so good in I, Tonya that I think I'll give this a chance instead of rejecting it outright.
posted by hypnogogue at 7:31 AM on December 16, 2022 [4 favorites]

I mean...for me this is landing very much in the camp of "for those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they like," and I will very likely not be watching it. But even so - you can't say this isn't a well-done and clever thing. It's giving me hope that at least everyone involved is gonna have a good sense of humor about it all.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:38 AM on December 16, 2022 [4 favorites]

Noah Baumbach co-wrote this? Writer of Marriage Story and The Squid and the Whale?
...
I see he also wrote The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.

I have no idea what this movie is going to be.
posted by fiercekitten at 7:38 AM on December 16, 2022 [7 favorites]

This looks delightful. I can see she's read up on her history of dolls, and I am resisting the urge to infodump on it. If you have a chance to read Forever Barbie, I recommend it.

I've never thought it was possible to have an actress actually look like Barbie, considering the alienating plastic perfection thereof, but Margot Robbie is doing as good as job as can be.
posted by Countess Elena at 7:42 AM on December 16, 2022 [2 favorites]

I love that Gerwig and Baumbach's two most current collaborations are the very serious White Noise adaptation and this.

I'm not sure how serious White Noise is. The trailer hints at quite a bit of dry humor.

Noah Baumbach co-wrote this? Writer of Marriage Story and The Squid and the Whale?

Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig have been in a relationship since 2011, have a child together, and are expecting a second. I find his early stuff to be painfully bleak (Squid and the Whale especially) so maybe she's convinced him to lighten up a bit.

This movie looks amazing and I can't wait to see it.
posted by Ben Trismegistus at 7:42 AM on December 16, 2022 [2 favorites]

Me, upon hearing about the Barbie movie earlier this year: uh, okay, sure

Me, after watching the trailer now: TAKE MY GODDAMN MONEY
posted by Kitteh at 7:44 AM on December 16, 2022 [14 favorites]

Baumbach and Gerwig co-write screenplays often although before this it's always been on his films.
posted by octothorpe at 7:49 AM on December 16, 2022

39-18-33 A Waist Odyssey
posted by chavenet at 7:49 AM on December 16, 2022 [9 favorites]

I was watching this and wondering, "Are those little girls gonna crack the skulls of the baby dolls like eggs?" and, yep, they totally did.

I get an image of Gerwig finally getting the job of doing a Barbie movie, then her tenting her fingers like Mr. Burns and muttering, "Excellent...".
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 7:52 AM on December 16, 2022 [13 favorites]

I was watching this and wondering, "Are those little girls gonna crack the skulls of the baby dolls like eggs?"

I didn't expect it, and was delighted.

Parents, if your kids haven't watched 2001 yet, sit them down, plant the seed for future very random laughs.
posted by trig at 7:56 AM on December 16, 2022 [7 favorites]

definitely here for the Barbie Cars, looking forward to the inevitable Barbie/Drive wink from Gos.
posted by djseafood at 7:57 AM on December 16, 2022

Damn, that was amazing!
posted by jabah at 7:58 AM on December 16, 2022

I have high hopes for this movie. I loved Speed Racer and would totally love a gentler, non-action movie thing in a similar style. The stills and this trailer are fantastic. The only thing that'd be better is if Todd Haynes (CW: anorexia) were somehow involved.
posted by Nelson at 8:09 AM on December 16, 2022 [2 favorites]

That look on her face with the wink and smile seems extremely malevolent especially combined with the smashing of the baby dolls. Not sure what to make of it.
posted by interogative mood at 8:10 AM on December 16, 2022 [1 favorite]

Also Sprach Zarathustra remix? If they somehow also work in an homage to Being There (Barbie-ing There?) this should win all the statuettes
posted by oulipian at 8:12 AM on December 16, 2022

I am reminded a bit of the Josie and the Pussycats movie—I am guessing that a suit decided to leverage well-established IP for a sure-bet movie, and someone with a subversive streak brought in a creative team that would take the material and run in a very weird direction.

I am, to my own surprise, intrigued.
posted by adamrice at 8:16 AM on December 16, 2022 [9 favorites]

The soundtrack here (“Also Sprach Zarathustra” from 2001) is the first 2 of my 4 morning alarms for the past decade. Really sets the tone for the day.
posted by Ryvar at 8:17 AM on December 16, 2022 [4 favorites]

I’m pumped but I’m also prepared for disappointment. Pumpary?
posted by h00py at 8:35 AM on December 16, 2022 [1 favorite]

Cishet gen x male who didn’t ever play with Barbies here, and I am totally down to see this. Can we say it looks like “a hoot”?
posted by caviar2d2 at 8:35 AM on December 16, 2022 [2 favorites]

The tagline I've seen elsewhere "She’s everything. He’s just Ken." --has me anticipating a cleverly done spoof/social commentary. This trailer backs that up.
posted by TreeRooster at 8:37 AM on December 16, 2022 [5 favorites]

Barbie is my favorite platic influencer in instagram
posted by beesbees at 8:40 AM on December 16, 2022

Hear me out: not just a 2001 homage but reference to the Baby Yeet meme. And Barbie as commentary on new role possibilities for girls besides "mom."
posted by emjaybee at 8:43 AM on December 16, 2022 [3 favorites]

Don't forget that Barbie was "inspired by" a novelty sex-doll from Germany.
posted by agatha_magatha at 8:45 AM on December 16, 2022 [2 favorites]

I’m hoping for a Rick Diggins-style montage of Barbie’s various careers (scientist, doctor, dog groomer, president, etc.).
posted by Parasite Unseen at 8:51 AM on December 16, 2022 [3 favorites]

The tagline I've seen elsewhere "She’s everything. He’s just Ken." --has me anticipating a cleverly done spoof/social commentary. This trailer backs that up.

This kind of reminds me of those weird Bootsie and Brad sketches on the Jim Henson Hour. Brad was such a twerp.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 8:54 AM on December 16, 2022 [1 favorite]

All right, you sons of bitches, I'm in too.

Can I just say I'm going to be very disappointed if the second-act downer montage doesn't include some kind of minor-key transposition of Aqua's Barbie Girl?
posted by Mayor West at 8:54 AM on December 16, 2022 [5 favorites]

I’ve got your sad Barbie Girl cover right here.
posted by mbrubeck at 8:56 AM on December 16, 2022 [3 favorites]

This may possibly beat this epic.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:58 AM on December 16, 2022 [2 favorites]

I guess from this movie we'll learn what kind of relationship Mattel Inc. currently wants to have to the remainder of the 21st century?
posted by gurple at 9:07 AM on December 16, 2022 [1 favorite]

Glad that the grand Helen Mirren is getting a lot of work these days.
posted by aquanaut at 9:13 AM on December 16, 2022 [1 favorite]

It sucks to see them perpetuating the unrealistic beauty standards of those 1:4:9 measurements.
posted by straight at 9:15 AM on December 16, 2022 [23 favorites]

Oooh, Lilli as the long lost twin sister out for revenge
posted by Jacen at 9:43 AM on December 16, 2022 [2 favorites]

I will not watch the movie, but I love the trailer and will watch that over and over instead.
posted by MtDewd at 9:48 AM on December 16, 2022

It sucks to see them perpetuating the unrealistic beauty standards of those 1:4:9 measurements.

Pyramid Barbie?
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 10:13 AM on December 16, 2022 [1 favorite]

Monolith Barbie. The ratio of it's width, length, height is 1:4:9.
posted by seanmpuckett at 10:14 AM on December 16, 2022 [7 favorites]

C'mon Greta, I need a followup with Stephie and Valerie as the scary twins from the Shining.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 10:31 AM on December 16, 2022

Wait, do we know if Robert McKee is a story consultant on this one?
posted by mittens at 10:32 AM on December 16, 2022

Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse was pretty solid, so if the movie just rips that off it will be great.
posted by The_Vegetables at 10:37 AM on December 16, 2022

Oh my fucking god. I cannot believe I actually want to see a movie about Barbie!

That was nowhere on my Bingo Card for, well, for any year really. But then neither were so, so many things.
posted by Naberius at 10:44 AM on December 16, 2022 [1 favorite]

Since Barbie appeared in Toy Story 3, it would be amusing to have an actor playing cowboy Woody (maybe walking a slinky dog) show up in a scene.
posted by SPrintF at 10:51 AM on December 16, 2022

I clicked on the link expecting something meh to ugh, but that was beautiful and joyful and I will definitely watch it on an airplane at some point.
posted by betweenthebars at 10:53 AM on December 16, 2022 [1 favorite]

This is coming out the same day as Christopher Nolan's Oppenheimer so the only question is which to watch first for the double feature.
posted by Apocryphon at 10:58 AM on December 16, 2022 [9 favorites]

Monolith Barbie. The ratio of it's width, length, height is 1:4:9.

That's the ratio for the monolith in the book.
For the movie they made it taller and skinnier (about 1:6:14).
posted by straight at 11:03 AM on December 16, 2022 [6 favorites]

(Also, I think ChurchHatesTucker's "Pyramid Barbie" comment was a reference Clarke's original short story which has a pyramid-shaped monolith.)
posted by straight at 11:07 AM on December 16, 2022 [1 favorite]

I didn't realize until recently that this movie is produced by Margot Robbie and her production house LuckyChap Entertainment, who also brought us Maid. From the recent Vanity Fair profile:

Robbie, to be clear, is a true working producer. She’s in those preproduction meetings, she’s on set, she’s putting out fires and getting “yelled at by agents.” When I point out that many actors who get producer credits don’t actually, um, do any producing, she says, “Yeah, that pissed me off. It’s so annoying because I have to fight every time.” By fight, she means fight to be taken seriously as a producer. Early in every project, she’s kept off email chains or not invited to calls because some people assume it’s just a vanity title for her. “Then everyone realizes after a few months, ‘Oh, she actually is a producer,’ ” she says. “But even still, people direct all the money questions at my producing partners, never at me. And so many times Tom and Josey have to say, ‘She’s the one to ask, actually.’ ”
posted by mecran01 at 11:32 AM on December 16, 2022 [18 favorites]

This looks far better than it has any right to be, and I look forward to its double billing with Clue.
posted by Capt. Renault at 11:50 AM on December 16, 2022

This looks so fucking campy.

Nature is healing.
posted by brook horse at 12:36 PM on December 16, 2022 [6 favorites]

although it is unlikely I'll ever wind up actually seeing this, I fully get the enthusiasm. the trailer is brilliant! I was not expecting that. great post title too, I didn't get it...

personally I'm all for little girls smashing symbols of patriarchal oppression!
posted by supermedusa at 12:48 PM on December 16, 2022

I think the general rule with Greta Gerwig is "Don't bet against Greta Gerwig."

I like Noah Baumbach, but admire him way more for being willing to be the second-most-talented filmmaker in his marriage.
posted by Tom Hanks Cannot Be Trusted at 1:14 PM on December 16, 2022 [5 favorites]

Loved it. Who was the narrator? I recognized the voice and couldn't place it.
posted by gentlyepigrams at 1:24 PM on December 16, 2022

Cishet boomer male who didn’t ever play with Barbies here, and I am totally down to see this. We can safely say there will be hooting :)

Story: When my daughter was very young and still acquiring language, she had not seen Barbies but her friends told her of their "Barbie dolls" in glowing terms so she acquired the word Barbie as a general purpose superlative. We discovered this when she overheard my wife complaining about her stretch marks and declared "when I grow up I'm going to have Barbie stretchmarks."

There will be hooting.
posted by merlynkline at 1:25 PM on December 16, 2022 [4 favorites]

No Malibu Stacy movie?
posted by kirkaracha at 1:56 PM on December 16, 2022

another cis/het male checking in to note that I already have the babysittier on call for July.
My wife and I are of Greta Gerwig's generation and my wife's late 80's/early 90's barbies that no doubt Ms. Gerwig played with still live at my in-laws cabin.

It is strange to be on an aged were my youth is now driving the nostalgia market.

Based on the buzz this movie is going to do great, although Lady bird sets a high bar....
posted by CostcoCultist at 2:17 PM on December 16, 2022

gentlyepigrams, that was Helen Mirren! (Vanity Fair)
posted by mochapickle at 3:21 PM on December 16, 2022 [4 favorites]

When this was announced, I said there were two options: either Gerwig had a bunch of Ideas for a feminist story through the lens of dolls and Mattel inexplicably said yes to enough of them, or Gerwig was slumming it making a brand extension movie (and in so doing throwing away her own reputation).

Sure looks like the former!
posted by Merus at 3:47 PM on December 16, 2022 [1 favorite]

I screened this trailer with my family. My 15yo’s reaction was “what’s Cobra Kai doing there?”

He was referring to Ryan Gosling.

Me, I think this looks extremely promising.
posted by Songdog at 4:15 PM on December 16, 2022 [1 favorite]

that was Helen Mirren!

EXCELLENT, thank you!
posted by gentlyepigrams at 5:33 PM on December 16, 2022 [1 favorite]

Wait, do we know if Robert McKee is a story consultant on this one?

Okay, so I can't testify to any of this in court, but here's how it was told to me back in the day by a friend who worked in an animation studio that did several of these direct to DVD Barbie movies as work for hire for Mattel to keep the lights on between their other projects.

Mattel was going to make Barbie movies, but Barbie was a massively important property to the company, like foundational, and so if they were going to do it, they wanted to do it right. This was a core IP. So they paid Robert McKee $10,000 to review the script for the first one because he was the gold standard for this story stuff. If they were going to do this, they wanted only the best. And McKee took the assignment seriously. He read the script and sent back a bunch of notes suggesting things they could do to make the story more compelling, more satisfying.

And Mattel was very happy. Great notes. Except maybe this one. Barbie is a core IP with very precise branding. We can't have her do that in a movie. Well, and this is a great idea, but it's not quite on brand for Barbie. And eventually someone came up with a very good reason why every one of McKee's suggestions, while great, wouldn't be appropriate for the particular branding around Barbie.

So after that, supposedly, whenever Mattel was doing another Barbie DVD, they would pay Robert McKee $10,000 to review the script and send back notes, and McKee would take the money and tell them it was perfect. Don't change a thing. And everyone was happy.
posted by Naberius at 10:12 PM on December 16, 2022 [7 favorites]

I'm hoping it's a movie length version of Todrick Hall's Sorry, Barbie.

Also, I can highly recommend Alexander Avila's recent episode, Overanalyzing the Barbie Movies with Queer Marxist Theory. Because I'm high.
posted by MrVisible at 10:39 PM on December 16, 2022 [2 favorites]

I never touched Barbies, but as a Transformers addict from very early girlhood: Can Gerwig direct a Transformers movie? Please?
posted by Fiberoptic Zebroid and The Hypnagogic Jerks at 3:35 AM on December 17, 2022 [1 favorite]

I’m so looking forward to this! The NYT did a retrospective of six decades of Barbie dreamhouses (archive link).
posted by ellieBOA at 10:05 AM on December 17, 2022 [2 favorites]