How many pounds of weed inside my CD's?

January 6, 2023 1:08 PM

When the Adams County Ohio Sherriff's Department raided Afroman's house, he turned the security footage of their fruitless raid into a music video.

Sherriff's deputies broke down the "Because I Got High" rapper's gate and front door down and tore through his house looking for evidence that he was leading a narcotics and kidnapping ring. They found nothing. But they did take some of his cash and try to shut his cameras down. Vice.com interviews Afroman about the raid, the music video, and trying to make something constructive out of suffering police persecution..

posted by DirtyOldTown (46 comments total)

Excellent. I hope that one Sheriff is known as Lemon Pound Cake from this day forward. Who ate all the cake? You ate all the cake!
posted by inflatablekiwi at 1:28 PM on January 6, 2023 [10 favorites]

I love this.

Every time I see cops doing a tactical raid I hear Stringer Bell in my head saying "Look at these Delta Force motherfuckers."
posted by bondcliff at 1:30 PM on January 6, 2023 [33 favorites]

Like how your mom is not wanting you to wear dirty underwear in case of car crash, Afroman is saying keep your room clean and shoes organized in case the police break down your door.
posted by Catblack at 1:30 PM on January 6, 2023 [6 favorites]

"Why are you stealing my money?
Why are you stealing my money?
You represent the law and it's funny
You're stealing my legal work-hard-every-day-pay-taxes money"
posted by box at 1:30 PM on January 6, 2023 [19 favorites]

(See also his video for 'Lemon Pound Cake.' It's to the tune of 'Under the Boardwalk.' Kind of.)
posted by box at 1:34 PM on January 6, 2023 [9 favorites]

The holidays have passed, but it's not too late for Police Blow My Wad.
posted by credulous at 1:49 PM on January 6, 2023 [3 favorites]

Saw the cops and decided
to get high
They bust down doors
cause I get high
Now they're part of the show with no buy
cause I got high, cause I got high
see ya bu-bye.
posted by clavdivs at 1:54 PM on January 6, 2023 [1 favorite]

Of course, if you like rap songs about cops, there are a lot of options to choose from, some of which aren't '99 Problems' or any of the many songs called 'Fuck the Police.' Just scratching the surface:

LL Cool J - Illegal Search
Main Source - Just a Friendly Game of Baseball
Ice Cube f Chuck D - Endangered Species
Brand Nubian - Claimin' I'm a Criminal
Geto Boys - Crooked Officer
KRS-One - Sound of Da Police
Big L f Fat Joe - The Enemy
UGK - Protect and Serve
Cypress Hill - Pigs
The Pharcyde - Officer
C-Bo - Deadly Game
Mos Def f Q-Tip - Mr. N
Prince Paul f Everlast - The Men in Blue
The Coup - Pork and Beef
dead prez - Police State
Killer Mike - Don't Die
Hip Hop For Respect - Protective Custody
Meek Mill - Otherside of America
Vince Staples - Hands Up
Denzel Curry - Pig Feet
Vic Mensa - 16 Shots
Flatbush Zombies - When I'm Gone
Rapsody f Kendrick Lamar & Lance Skiiiwalker - Power
Conway the Machine - Front Lines
Childish Gambino - This Is America
posted by box at 2:28 PM on January 6, 2023 [34 favorites]

It's still wild to me that American cops can declare your money "the proceeds of crime" and just keep it. And spend it! And it's a significant source of funding!!
posted by Reyturner at 2:28 PM on January 6, 2023 [25 favorites]

Cops steal more each year than burglars.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 2:31 PM on January 6, 2023 [40 favorites]

N.W.A: 'Fuck tha Police'
posted by clavdivs at 2:35 PM on January 6, 2023 [5 favorites]

Speaking of kidnapping it looked like that police unit kidnapped some soldiers and forced them to do police work with them?
posted by Ashenmote at 2:36 PM on January 6, 2023 [3 favorites]

So ridiculous. Great line:

"Cops: Don’t take nobody's money no more. Cops can go get a job!"
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 2:37 PM on January 6, 2023 [3 favorites]

Public Enemy - 911 Is A Joke
posted by inflatablekiwi at 2:37 PM on January 6, 2023 [2 favorites]

It's still wild to me that American cops can just declare your money "the proceeds of crime" and just keep it. And spend it! And it's a significant source of funding!!

Whenever I am carrying a significant amount of cash, I spend more time thinking about a cop stealing it than a random person. Seriously. I am not a reckless driver in general, but when I drive home from the bank I literally count out the 1-Missisippi, 2-Mississipi, 3-Mississipi, 4-Mississipi, 5-Mississipi at every stop sign. And it is not broadly known that law enforcement can just decide to defame you and take your stuff -- I still have nightmares about how badly it could have gone for my (foreign) relatives who brought a bunch of cash into the US. It's obscene.

(Turning the violent twerp raid into content is very funny, silver lining stuff though.)
posted by grandiloquiet at 2:39 PM on January 6, 2023 [11 favorites]

“Why are you stealing my money?
Why are you stealing my money?
You represent the law and it's funny
You're stealing my legal work-hard-every-day-pay-taxes money”

Even written out, this sounds just like Zappa.

That lemon pound cake was tempting. If I were a cop, stealing delicious baked goods from homes I was searching is exactly the kind of corruption I'd go all-in on.

Among the many on offer.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 2:46 PM on January 6, 2023 [8 favorites]

It makes me so sad that our society is to dysfunctional that this bullshit just keeps going on without even the slightest hint of reform.
posted by interogative mood at 3:16 PM on January 6, 2023 [12 favorites]

Plastilina Mosh - Afroman.

Saca mi cerebro del frasco
Solo, solo, solo,
Saca mi cerebro del frasco
Solo, solo, solo
posted by signal at 3:29 PM on January 6, 2023 [1 favorite]

A significant portion of us wanted and advocate for reform. But the very bad faith actors who benefit from carceral culture and oppression scream about how the police are the only thing keeping little old (white) ladies from violation and gruesome murder at the hands of The Other. The system isn't broken, it's working as intended.
posted by Jacen at 3:38 PM on January 6, 2023 [12 favorites]

whoa! Afroman lives in the middle of nowhere—who knew?
posted by ivanthenotsoterrible at 4:34 PM on January 6, 2023

Abolition is the only way forward.
posted by ob1quixote at 4:38 PM on January 6, 2023 [5 favorites]

Abolition isn't happening, and saying it's the only way forward is in effect an argument against reforms. Reform can mean anything up to and including throwing out the current system and building a new one, but just not having police isn't a real solution.
posted by ThisIsAThrowaway at 5:27 PM on January 6, 2023 [11 favorites]

I was about to point out the missing "acab" tag, but after searching its only been used 14 times. That seems low for mefi. Thanks for the post.
posted by pickinganameismuchharderthanihadanticipated at 6:01 PM on January 6, 2023 [3 favorites]

(14 is rookie numbers, we can get those numbers up is what I'm saying)
posted by pickinganameismuchharderthanihadanticipated at 6:05 PM on January 6, 2023 [7 favorites]

Speaking of kidnapping it looked like that police unit kidnapped some soldiers and forced them to do police work with them?

I was wondering if we had a Posse Comitatus Act violation or if some cop just felt like being a stolen valor motherfucker.
posted by corb at 6:13 PM on January 6, 2023 [6 favorites]

I tend to think the problem with police is that the nature of the job frequently attracts bastards. Maybe some of those aspects of the job should be changed so PD's are not thriving havens for dickheads. But totally getting rid of police forever isn't going to happen.

I note that I am a reference for a former coworker who's trying to be a police officer (on his third place to apply to now). I hope he gets it because he'd actually be fair and reasonable and not fly off the handle and shoot people and shit like that. I don't know if that's what the cops at the places he's applied to are looking for, though. I could be not helping him instead of helping for all I know.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:17 PM on January 6, 2023 [5 favorites]

100,000 people.
98 cops

Flint Town.
posted by clavdivs at 6:48 PM on January 6, 2023 [1 favorite]

I loved this answer from the interview.

A criminal wants to get on the police force now, because it's his word against yours. He has immunity and you're a pathetic peasant civilian. When you take somebody's money, it's called robbery, stealing, burglary. But when he steals your money, it's called asset forfeiture. When a cockroach is in your house, it's a cockroach. But when a cockroach goes to the police department, it’s a water bug. You see what I'm saying?

Hell yeah.
posted by ZaphodB at 7:08 PM on January 6, 2023 [14 favorites]

The police are not a "forever institution" no matter how much some here may think so.
There was no such thing as a "police force" 300 years ago. There were guards and soldiers, but no police.
The police are a lie. The "law" cannot be enforced, because it is ambiguous and sometimes incoherent. Police enforce their own will, and that of their masters in the prosecuting attorneys' offices, and of their masters higher up.

They don't "protect and serve" anyone but those named above. If they help you, that's their whim and it can turn ugly in a hot second. Every minute you spend around a cop, they are trying to find something to prosecute you for. That's their training. That's what the job demands. This is not my opinion, it is what cops who have left the force have stated publicly, and cops still on the force have stated anonymously.

Probably the job attracts bastards. It's for sure (assuming you believe the reports from those on the job) that being a bastard is the job.

That is why ACAB.
posted by Rev. Irreverent Revenant at 7:23 PM on January 6, 2023 [21 favorites]

Met a guy in rehab who as a teen used to sell weed to Afroman in East Palmdale.
posted by infinitewindow at 8:53 PM on January 6, 2023 [1 favorite]

There was no such thing as a "police force" 300 years ago. There were guards and soldiers, but no police.

Oh yeah, and runaway-slave patrols. Don't forget those.
posted by Rev. Irreverent Revenant at 11:50 PM on January 6, 2023 [6 favorites]

ThisIsAThrowaway: “Abolition isn't happening, and saying it's the only way forward is in effect an argument against reforms”

The police and courts as currently constituted cannot be reformed. They are inherently racist and white supremacist because they were created to be racist and white supremacist.
posted by ob1quixote at 7:33 AM on January 7, 2023 [3 favorites]

The music video is both hilarious and really depressing.
posted by MtDewd at 7:53 AM on January 7, 2023 [2 favorites]

I think there might be an argument that the only way actual reforms will get done is under the threat of abolition, or something. Is anyone running a nation without a carceral system and police? If not, why not?
posted by Selena777 at 8:14 AM on January 7, 2023

Abolition isn't happening, and saying it's the only way forward is in effect an argument against reforms. Reform can mean anything up to and including throwing out the current system and building a new one, but just not having police isn't a real solution.

Reform. LOL.

Laquan McDonald was executed in the middle of street with with multiple angles of camera footage by a police officer in full view of 11 other officers in 2014. Those other 11 officers covered up the execution style murder and got away scott free with the jobs intact (and a whistleblower punished!). The Justice Department imposed a consent decree on Chicago in 2019. It took 5 years to even get to the point of enforcing the start of reforms to get Chicago police to not murder people! Laquan's murderer is already out of jail.

How's that consent decree going? It's not. The city and police are saying they are making great progress and have a lovely little dashboard showing "progress towards compliance" on 70ish % of items. Sounds good right? But those items are like how I write todo lists padded with things like "write todo list, eat breakfast, take a dump, wipe butt". The big things, the real reforms have very little movement at all. The consent was a 5 year decree but the city and CPD have no gotten an additional 3 years (take your time fellas it's only life and death for the people of Chicago ... no biggie). In the meantime CPD rank and file openly ignored the Mayor's mask mandate from day 1 and straight up refused the vaccination mandate during the pandemic despite procuring privileged priority access to the pandemic resources before everyone else. They were punished for this intransigence with a massive raise and the majority of the pandemic relief funds. Then because they had successfully openly defied the mayor's authority and and also slow rolled reforms they were then rewarded with an extension on the consent decree (Apparently it was unrealistic from the get go according to CPD, the mayor and the Justice department despite them all agreeing to it - the consent part of the decree and all). Once that extension victory was achieved for the reform slow rollers they further cemented the existing status-quo when the chief of police got rid of the people in the police force in charge of implementing the consent decree. They have at the same quadrupled their police PR budget and are very active on social media pushing that the consent decree is going well. That's where we stand now almost a decade on from an on street execution of teenager by Chicago Police Department.

So once again. Reform LOL.
posted by srboisvert at 10:31 AM on January 7, 2023 [11 favorites]

Oh yeah, and runaway-slave patrols.

AKA where police came from.
posted by caryatid at 11:18 AM on January 7, 2023

Is anyone running a nation without a carceral system and police? If not, why not?

Why isn't there a nation where the power doesn't have a goon squad to enforce its will? Is that the question?
posted by Pope Guilty at 11:47 AM on January 7, 2023

Sure.
posted by Selena777 at 11:50 AM on January 7, 2023

My white ass isn't familiar with Afroman at all but on looking him up on Wikipedia, apparently he's running for president in 2024. Also, as a first time listener, I think he's got an excellent voice.

My modest proposal for the cops is if we're not going to abolish them, we should take their guns away. It'll never work, much less be accepted, but people's reaction when you talk about it is telling (to you, and to them, hopefully).
posted by gentlyepigrams at 11:59 AM on January 7, 2023 [1 favorite]

All the cops are white guys. Not a woman or a person of color in sight. No surprise there.
posted by Metacircular at 1:08 PM on January 7, 2023 [1 favorite]

From Vice:

“When asked for comment, Adams County Sheriff Kimmy Rogers said the result of a neighboring sheriff’s office investigation into Afroman’s claim is imminent. He also that the attention the rapper’s songs have generated has turned into a wave of threats against his deputies. “I can handle it, but I don’t appreciate some of the messages coming in about Adams County deputies getting ambushed, ‘I hope they die slow,’” Rogers said. “It’s kind of tolling on some of the officers. I doubt that your family would want that said about you.”‘
posted by bz at 2:56 PM on January 7, 2023

‘I hope they die slow,’” Rogers said. “It’s kind of tolling on some of the officers. I doubt that your family would want that said about you.”‘

My family doesn’t hear that about me because I don’t break into peoples houses and steal money. I also don’t murder people in broad daylight. I have never had blue flu or faked a fentanyl overdose. I don’t have any friends that beat their domestic partners because if I know somebody that does any of those things I don’t associate with them anymore.

Funny how that works.
posted by Uncle at 4:00 PM on January 7, 2023 [11 favorites]

Afroman is running for president?
Fuck, ya.

"The Trump administration could learn a thing or two from Flint and the state of Michigan,” Mayor Neeley said. “Here, Flint police were dispatched to protect protesters, not silence them.”
posted by clavdivs at 8:48 PM on January 7, 2023

“I can handle it, but I don’t appreciate some of the messages coming in about Adams County deputies getting ambushed, ‘I hope they die slow,’” Rogers said. “It’s kind of tolling on some of the officers. I doubt that your family would want that said about you.”‘

This is such a classic example of misdirection, and I wish Vice would have called him out on it. Afroman's not the one making the death threats. The officers receiving death threats after the fact doesn't excuse the botched raid.

It's a blatant attempt to pull the narrative away from the mistakes they made and focus on a third-party thing.
posted by skullhead at 8:35 AM on January 8, 2023 [4 favorites]

LEMON POUND CAKE
fucking stuck in my head
LEMON POUND CAKE
give me "Bad Romance" instead
posted by tigrrrlily at 8:03 PM on January 8, 2023 [1 favorite]

As noted, even if a cop is a good person, the systemically racist and classist nature of the laws they are asked to enforce makes it nearly impossible to be a "good cop".

There was a good episode of "You're Wrong About", a podcast about moral panics, that discusses murder. In the episode they expand on it a little. Worth a listen in whole, but look at about 44 minutes in.
posted by ckoerner at 10:49 AM on January 11, 2023