Geezer Happy Hour
January 13, 2023 6:39 AM   Subscribe

NYT reporter Joe Bernstein and his wife were headed home early. It was cold out, and the club around the corner had music, so they stepped inside to wait for their cab. The band was playing primitive garage rock: fast, loud, hard. The place was packed. There were women in skintight red dresses, long-haired men sucking down bottles of beer and couples flirting in the alcove outside the bathrooms. In fact, just one thing distinguished the crowd from nearly any other rock n' roll show: almost everyone was over 65. Twitter thread. NYT article. Archive.
posted by DirtyOldTown (115 comments total) 42 users marked this as a favorite
 
I so wish they weren't called "geezers."
posted by DMelanogaster at 7:04 AM on January 13, 2023 [9 favorites]


Every time I have heard the word geezer it is a bonafide geezer referring to themselves and others. It's a fun word to me, does it have a bad connotation or something?
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 7:11 AM on January 13, 2023 [29 favorites]


Sounds like fun! As far as I can tell, this happens in every small or medium-sized distinct town that hosts a large flagship university (in a big city or a suburb the right density of hip fun-loving folks over 60 doesn't reach critical mass). It's cool, eg. when I lived in State College PA there was a piano bar frequented by some seriously wild gray foxes.
posted by SaltySalticid at 7:17 AM on January 13, 2023 [1 favorite]


At 52 I'm a near-geezer and the term doesn't bother me at all. It's just a word. And it's about context.
posted by SoberHighland at 7:22 AM on January 13, 2023 [9 favorites]


The weird thing is that my brain doesn't feel like it's in its 50s, but my back sure as hell does.
posted by jquinby at 7:22 AM on January 13, 2023 [67 favorites]


I was all set to make a sharp remark about the whole world being a dance party for Boomers, but you know what? That was wrong. This is sweet. These are people living their lives without the crust of ice we associate with aging. I often worry about my own parents finding enough fun and dignity in their later decades. So far it hasn't been a problem, but I wish there was a local party like this for them too.
posted by Countess Elena at 7:25 AM on January 13, 2023 [28 favorites]


Not quite at geezerdom, but I'm looking forward to it.
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:27 AM on January 13, 2023 [3 favorites]


never has the phrase "OK Boomer" been more apt
posted by chavenet at 7:32 AM on January 13, 2023 [4 favorites]


I so wish they weren't called "geezers."

The term "Geezer Happy Hour" is one of the nicknames the participants gave the event themselves. Other nicknames include "Geezer Dance Party" or simply "Geezers."
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:33 AM on January 13, 2023 [11 favorites]


Sweet! One of many things I'd hoped retirement would be for, not being hauled off to the glue factory like Old Major or watching Fox News all day.
posted by riverlife at 7:34 AM on January 13, 2023 [7 favorites]


I love this! My parents are almost 80 and they still go out to rock concerts all the time. They are always discovering new music. If this was in their town, they’d be there.
posted by lunasol at 7:41 AM on January 13, 2023 [17 favorites]


When I first saw this my first reaction was to just reject it out of hand. But then metafilter gently reminded me that I am the geezer in the story. It’s my birthday soon enough and it’s very weird to be on the other side of this whole thing. It snuck up on me.
posted by zenon at 7:46 AM on January 13, 2023 [9 favorites]


Ran into something similar at a bar/club on old Route 1 north of Boston a couple years ago. Just randomly picked a place to meet friends equidistant between where we live and we ended up being the youngest people by 20 or 30 years dancing to an amazing live disco-funk band. We were all tired and left by like 11 or 12 and the party was still raging!
posted by msbrauer at 7:47 AM on January 13, 2023 [9 favorites]


One of the reasons I adore seeing The Mekons play is the frequency with which my spouse and I (I'm 47, she's 43) are the youngest people. That's a wild band because their audience never seems to get bigger or smaller, no matter how many years go by.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:53 AM on January 13, 2023 [37 favorites]


As far as I can tell, this happens in every small or medium-sized distinct town that hosts a large flagship university (in a big city or a suburb the right density of hip fun-loving folks over 60 doesn't reach critical mass). It's cool, eg. when I lived in State College PA there was a piano bar frequented by some seriously wild gray foxes.

Good lord, I wish that were true. As far as my experience goes, there is only one town out of this entire state that might have places with this kind of welcoming atmosphere.
posted by Thorzdad at 7:53 AM on January 13, 2023 [3 favorites]


old punks never die they just stand at the back*


*and say 'What?! I can't hear you" a lot
posted by djseafood at 8:00 AM on January 13, 2023 [52 favorites]


We got two options in life- die young or get old. I see no reason to stop having fun if you managed to wrangle option two.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:03 AM on January 13, 2023 [9 favorites]


If they don't want to be called geezers they should stop geezing. See also boomers and wankers.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 8:04 AM on January 13, 2023 [8 favorites]


You know, I wish my dad were going out and doing something instead of just sitting in front of Fox News.
posted by Fleebnork at 8:06 AM on January 13, 2023 [31 favorites]


Good for them. If something gives you joy, there's no reason to stop doing it as you age. I look forward to spending my old age enjoying continuing to not dance.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 8:14 AM on January 13, 2023 [10 favorites]


Old goths never die, but it does get harder to tell the difference.
posted by notoriety public at 8:18 AM on January 13, 2023 [62 favorites]


One of the reasons I adore seeing The Mekons play is the frequency with which my spouse and I (I'm 47, she's 43) are the youngest people. That's a wild band because their audience never seems to get bigger or smaller, no matter how many years go by.

Are The Mekons the secret to eternal life? Now that wouldn't surprise me.
posted by chavenet at 8:31 AM on January 13, 2023 [12 favorites]


The show always starts at 6:30 p.m. and ends at 9 p.m., in time to get to bed at a reasonable hour.

Even in my 20-30s I wanted this. People gotta work the next day!
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 8:33 AM on January 13, 2023 [41 favorites]


If they don't want to be called geezers they should stop geezing. See also boomers and wankers.

I asked the question recently on FB (and got called racist by one aggrieved honky)
If Honky is a slur, how come so many of them go Honky Tonking every Friday night?
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:36 AM on January 13, 2023 [4 favorites]


Given that many of my favorite garage bands date back to the sixties (hello, the motherfucking SONICS), that music still resonating with people of a contiguous age group fits perfectly.

It's kind of like how I saw the Dead Milkmen perform a couple of years ago, and Rodney Anonymous looks more and more like Ed Asner with every passing year but they can still absolutely go.
posted by delfin at 8:41 AM on January 13, 2023 [13 favorites]


Old goths never die, but it does get harder to tell the difference.

Well, at least those who don't have clothes appropriate to wear to the funerals of those who do.
posted by y2karl at 8:48 AM on January 13, 2023 [6 favorites]


Every so often, I look through my collection of comics (and I have a lot of comics) and sort through my memories of when I bought these off the spinner racks. OMG! Spider-Man! The Challengers of the Unknown! The Fantastic Four! World's Finest! (Superman and Batman! All in color for a dime!)

Then I look at today's movies and think: you guys are just catching up to me.
posted by SPrintF at 8:49 AM on January 13, 2023 [1 favorite]


Given that many of my favorite garage bands date back to the sixties (hello, the motherfucking SONICS), that music still resonating with people of a contiguous age group fits perfectly.

Garage rock, rooted in folk musics, has become a form of folk music. It satisfies deep, primitive urges and will probably never go away as long as electricity, hormones and beer continue to coexist.
posted by ryanshepard at 8:54 AM on January 13, 2023 [5 favorites]


I remember during one of Beto O'Rourke's campaigns, one of his opponents made the predictable 'devil music' jab about his time touring in a punk rock band. This must have been around the time he shared a stage with Willie Nelson.

I forget what was said, but it was like blaming Elvis' dance moves for the decay of society. That old bullshit. It did get me thinking though, how many grandparent's fondest memories were being at the front row of a Ramones concert? Your big political strategy is telling them that punk rock sucks? Out of touch by forty fucking years.
posted by adept256 at 9:02 AM on January 13, 2023 [12 favorites]


One of the reasons I adore seeing The Mekons play is the frequency with which my spouse and I (I'm 47, she's 43) are the youngest people. That's a wild band because their audience never seems to get bigger or smaller, no matter how many years go by.

Relatedly, I was just at the Waco Brothers' annual New Years show in Chicago (for the first time since the Current Unpleasantness) and holy shit, is that a fun weird crowd. A continuity I am so very grateful to have back in my (near-geezer) life.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:03 AM on January 13, 2023 [4 favorites]


Where is this kinda place in NYC? (It’s probably in Brooklyn.)
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 9:06 AM on January 13, 2023 [4 favorites]


One of the reasons I adore seeing The Mekons play is the frequency with which my spouse and I (I'm 47, she's 43) are the youngest people. That's a wild band because their audience never seems to get bigger or smaller, no matter how many years go by.

You have heard the amazing new Freakons album, right? I think it's as good as their eighties stuff (but it's dark, so dark) , which is top notch. It's weird, I don't really know any Mekons fans older than I am (48).
posted by Frowner at 9:09 AM on January 13, 2023 [4 favorites]


I so wish they weren't called "geezers."

Now, coming up next, the case of the cantankerous old geezer.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 9:16 AM on January 13, 2023 [4 favorites]


Kinda depends on when/where you see the Mekons, I guess, for the age spread. But god, are they fun.

They're an aging, working class UK punk rock art collective with feminist, anticapitalist, antiracist, pro-labor stances that has a violinist, a guy playing the oud, and an accordionist, they crib chunks of their lyrics from novels, they mix country western with punk, UK folk, reggae/dub, and noise rock, they have the funniest stage banter I've ever seen, they have three wildly different lead singers (although they all sing) and virtually all of their songs become singalongs.

What's not to like?

If you don't know The Mekons, this will give you an idea.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:18 AM on January 13, 2023 [11 favorites]


Here's a live preview of The Cure's new album. I really loved CHVRCHES performance with Robert at the NME awards, the way Lauren hands over singing duty at the end for Disintegration era Cure goodness.

Is this the Cocoon thread? The days of Doc Martens flying over my head are over.
posted by adept256 at 9:22 AM on January 13, 2023 [9 favorites]


Robert has a Ukraine flag on his guitar 🇺🇦
posted by adept256 at 9:24 AM on January 13, 2023 [4 favorites]


I love the way this thread turned out because beyond the expected "Good for them! Isn't that nice?" stuff, it also seems like maybe there's a subset of aging Gen Xers doing the math on how not-that-far-off 65 is. You're my people.

Someone mentioned goths above and I have a friend right at my age who moved to LA, because he felt drawn to the warm embrace of the city's elegantly aging goth scene. Those folks know how to do getting older right.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:29 AM on January 13, 2023 [25 favorites]


This gives me hope for my dream project: the Bob Smith Home For Aged Goths.
posted by Lyn Never at 9:31 AM on January 13, 2023 [13 favorites]


So cool. I went to grad school - in Ann Arbor - with Randy Tessier. Awesome guy.
posted by doctornemo at 9:40 AM on January 13, 2023 [2 favorites]


Every so often, I look through my collection of comics (and I have a lot of comics) and sort through my memories of when I bought these off the spinner racks. OMG! Spider-Man! The Challengers of the Unknown! The Fantastic Four! World's Finest! (Superman and Batman! All in color for a dime!)

Then I look at today's movies and think: you guys are just catching up to me.


Middle-aged anime fan here. Every so often I think of how much better things are nowadays with simultaneous-with-Japan streaming, DVDs and Blu-rays (subs and dubs on the same tape disk!) of entire seasons rather than just one or two episodes, reams of hard-copy manga and light novels in translation, and authentic import goodies just an order button away. Plus now I have more disposable income than when I was in high school. All this has been a nice benefit of getting older.

Anyway, I hope I'm still browsing the manga aisles of NYC's Kinokuniya when I get as old as these rockers.
posted by May Kasahara at 9:41 AM on January 13, 2023 [6 favorites]


Loud music and crowded bars? Sounds like a nightmare. If I live past 60, I hope people don't expect me to attend things like this.
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:57 AM on January 13, 2023 [2 favorites]


Every time I have heard the word geezer it is a bonafide geezer referring to themselves and others.

They've reappropriated it, so it's their word for themselves. But unlike most reappropriated slurs, if take care of yourself, you'll get to use it eventually.
posted by condour75 at 10:06 AM on January 13, 2023 [1 favorite]


Where is this kinda place in NYC? (It’s probably in Brooklyn.)

I've been to shows at the Bell House (in Brooklyn) where the crowd was all 40 and up. Frantic City Fest (in Atlantic City) drew some teens but was mostly oldsters. Anything at City Winery, probably.

Basically it's no surprise that if you go to see a boomer oldies act you'll see boomers, and if you go see a gen-X band you'll see Xers.
posted by anhedonic at 10:08 AM on January 13, 2023 [3 favorites]


It did get me thinking though, how many grandparent's fondest memories were being at the front row of a Ramones concert?

My late Grandma Biscuit (born in the early 1920s) suffered from dementia toward the end of her life, and reached a point here she could not carry on a conversation. Put on an Andrews Sisters CD, though, and she could sing every word.

As the leading edge of Gen-X careens toward sixty, I wonder what the singalongs will be like in the nursing homes twenty years from now* -- Blister in the Sun? 88 Lines About 44 Women? Pop Music? Cool for Cats?

*Who am I kidding? None of us will be able to afford these things.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:10 AM on January 13, 2023 [11 favorites]


My departed dad and his buddies had some kind of a band going for something like 2-3 decades. I mean it wasn't an "indie garage rock band" or anything but they could sure throw down some mean, tight covers, and they were all over the place covering everything from classic 60s rock on up to current music if they thought they could play it. And they played out at bars and small parties pretty often.

I went to hang out a few times just because it was fun. And have you really lived if you haven't don't tequila shots and hotboxed the bathroom with one of your parents at the studio they used as a rehearsal space?

And there are people this age at Burning Man. Not just there but helping build the place.

And back in my 90s raver golden years we used to have 70+ year old Deadheads, psychonauts and dance fans show up and we all thought they were super cool and glad to see them there. Some of them became legitimately trusted aunts and uncles or uncle grandpas and stewards of our communities.

I'm not exactly young anymore, either, and before the pandemic I was still regularly showing up to music events where I was easily twice the average age of the audience, especially when it came to anything dance music or experimental music related.

I'm reminded of the Margaritaville planned retirement community article that was going around a couple of years ago were everyone drove around on golf carts and people had bars in their garages.

And like I said back then I'm down with that concept for geriatric ravers and aging goth/darkwave fans.

I also went to a major chain grocery store yesterday and they were playing Talk Talk, The Smiths and Depeche Mode. *boggles*
posted by loquacious at 10:14 AM on January 13, 2023 [16 favorites]


This makes me so happy. Spouse and I are aging GenX and haven't done club shows since covid (we're both high risk) but hope to go back to open air arenas and beer gardens soon, and for the right band, would probably take our chances (with N95s). I hope the young'uns think it's cool we're there too - we were definitely on the older side at a Cold War Kids show years back, and they're touring again...
posted by BlueBlueElectricBlue at 10:15 AM on January 13, 2023 [2 favorites]


I like that it looks like you can make this scene without drinking too much and it's not just hanging out in a bar. I mean, I know older people who do that and it's fine, I'm happy for them as long as they don't drive home drunk but dancing and maybe smoking a bit of weed sounds much better to me.
posted by BibiRose at 10:17 AM on January 13, 2023


I can say that I am more likely to see live music these days if the shows don't start too late and don't end in the wee hours. I am 46 and ya girl needs her sleep. I don't have the 20s/early 30s bounceback of sleep deprivation fixed by cups of coffee and nicotine anymore!

One of things I have learned as I get older as a Gen Xer is that it's actually quite fun to determine what middle age looks like for me. Middle age for my mom, and my mom's mom was very different. My middle age is my postpunk playlists--listening to the entire Siouxsie Sioux catalog right now--good weed, good friends, and minimal social media engagement. Like, I feel so much wiser and kinder than I was when I was younger. Definitely more empathetic and informed, more willing to man the barricades for injustice. (20s me cared about booze, boys, and getting into trouble.)
posted by Kitteh at 10:27 AM on January 13, 2023 [10 favorites]


we were definitely on the older side at a Cold War Kids show years back

We saw Phoebe Bridgers this summer and we were the very oldest people there who were not chaperoning their children (and we were likely older than those parents in many/most cases). We were in straight-up people making awwwww faces and saying "Good for you!" territory.

That felt like crossing some kind of aging threshold.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:32 AM on January 13, 2023 [17 favorites]


Nice to see this creativity from Ann Arbor. Hope the bar wasn't just for rich folks - the town's been gentrifying.

The older crowd fits with Michigan's broader demographics.
posted by doctornemo at 10:35 AM on January 13, 2023


I don’t like “geezer” because it has a mocking connotation (to me). Older folks mocking ourselves doesn’t cut it with me either. It’s a kind of “Othering” even if you’re doing it to yourself. As far as this rock ‘n roll thing, it makes it into some sort of big deal that we still like the music and other aspects of the culture that we liked when we were younger. There IS (to me) an implication that, somehow, the default should be that we don’t do that anymore, that rock (and dancing to rock) is a “young person” thing that we’ve held onto (and yeah “Isn’t that great that they have held onto it! More power to themI” (creeps me out) (I’m 72)).

Yes, I still listen to the music I liked when I was younger, why wouldn’t I?
posted by DMelanogaster at 10:43 AM on January 13, 2023 [6 favorites]


... We were in straight-up people making awwwww faces and saying "Good for you!" territory.

DirtyOldTown: I am so sorry. Or are congratulations in order? I am not sure. When I look for what makeup and fashions to wear, I am often keenly aware that I am not yet on the side of aging that would make wild statements adorable and life-affirming. Instead they still look pathetic and attention-seeking. I am not sure whether to be glad about this.

DMelanogaster: I hear you. I have always hated the expression "more power to ..." You never hear somebody say that when they really mean it. If they did, it wouldn't need saying.
posted by Countess Elena at 10:46 AM on January 13, 2023 [3 favorites]


Seen on reddit: "The title is not hyperbole. This is Ann Arbor in a nutshell." Hah.

I've got strong feelings about Ann Arbor politics--I think by dragging our feet on new housing development for decades, we've driven up prices and prevented a lot of younger people from building the kind of lifetime traditions that these folks have had the opportunity to. I hope it's not too late to reverse the trend.

Last time I was at Live on a Friday, someone was handing out literature for Ann Arbor's 2018 Proposal A. (A poorly conceived proposal for a park, whose actual effect was to block a high-rise mixed-use development, preserving that land instead in its current use as... a parking lot. KInda typical.)

At the same time, I had a good time and saw some old friends, and I'm thankful to Randy and everyone who's kept it happening. I hope to make it back there one of these Fridays, and I enjoyed the article.
posted by bfields at 10:50 AM on January 13, 2023 [5 favorites]


I don’t like “geezer” because it has a mocking connotation (to me). Older folks mocking ourselves doesn’t cut it with me either. It’s a kind of “Othering” even if you’re doing it to yourself.

I'm 62, and I tend to use "old fart" when referring to myself. :-) Possibly, I will soon need to change my Metafilter handle to "tallrelativelyoldgeek".

To me, "geezer" sounds like British slang (I'm Canadian).
posted by tallmiddleagedgeek at 10:52 AM on January 13, 2023 [5 favorites]


Adding to my previous comment: we slightly older folks are going to get Othered just by our appearance (above average quantity of gray or white hair if it exists, etc.). We might as well own it - it's better than an older person pretending to be young.
posted by tallmiddleagedgeek at 10:55 AM on January 13, 2023 [3 favorites]


I also went to a major chain grocery store yesterday and they were playing Talk Talk, The Smiths and Depeche Mode.

The other day I saw an ad using..."Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangster!"
posted by praemunire at 10:55 AM on January 13, 2023 [4 favorites]


We got two options in life- die young or get old.

alternately, he not busy being born is busy dying.
posted by philip-random at 10:56 AM on January 13, 2023 [1 favorite]


I also went to a major chain grocery store yesterday and they were playing Talk Talk, The Smiths and Depeche Mode.

At one point in 2021, the province of Ontario was releasing a batch of AstraZeneca COVID vaccine specifically to 60 to 64 year olds (65 was deemed too old for it). Whatever your grocery store was playing would have been perfect for the lineup for it.
posted by tallmiddleagedgeek at 10:58 AM on January 13, 2023 [2 favorites]


I had a new experience the other day where I forgot my ID and the lady at the grocery said she couldn't sell me wine. It wasn't new to be carded, obviously. And I'm way past the point of finding the suggestion that I might be 20 or younger hilarious. But it turns out I am now to the point where when she said "We have to card anyone who looks under 40" I found myself saying "Jesus Christ, lady, I have entirely silver/white hair. No one thinks I'm less than 40 years old."

I wasn't mad. It's not her fault the grocery has a witless ID policy. But that's some kind of other-side-of-the-aging-bell-curve stuff when you go from being perturbed that you're obviously 21 to being perturbed that even if a store should use a very conservative card-under-40 system, you're also obviously older than 40.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:03 AM on January 13, 2023 [4 favorites]


And--because I can't resist this kind of sadistic calendar checking--"Our Lips Are Sealed" by The Go-Go's is older now than Frank Sinatra's first solo single "Night and Day" was in 1982 when "Our Lips Are Sealed" came out.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:15 AM on January 13, 2023 [9 favorites]


I will say that I think it is actively bad that there is no kind of dance venue where it's normal for people over about 30 to really dance*, by which I mean do more than sway on the edge of the dance floor with a drink. Dancing is good for you! If there's a thing I really regret about my youth, it's that there usually isn't a diversity of places to dance here in MPLS. I would have been out dancing every week if I lived somewhere bigger.

There are definitely places with dancefloors, but the ones that are the most consistent are the ones for young people to grind up on each other to relatively slow beats and while that wasn't my thing even when young it would be flat out creepy now. The best events were always benefits and one-offs and then you'd sigh at the end and regret that you wouldn't get to go dancing again for a month or two. But gentrification has meant that most of the smaller, cheaper, artier spaces are gone now, too, so not only am I old but there isn't much anyway.

*I have a weird spine problem and cannot dance more than a song or two in a row anymore but I was out there cutting a rug whenever I could find a spot and a friend to go with well into my forties, and indeed if it weren't for covid and the best cheap space closing, I would still be out there dancing for 1.5 songs, moping for twenty minutes and dancing again.
posted by Frowner at 11:20 AM on January 13, 2023 [6 favorites]


Now make music start at 7ish for ALL SHOWS and this 43 year old would be much happier.
posted by tiny frying pan at 11:21 AM on January 13, 2023 [6 favorites]


Also I used to DJ sometimes as the first set (when no one was really there, so you wouldn't waste the spot on someone more accomplished) and now that all the small arty places are gone that's all done....and of course I've got a whole bunch more new music that I love to dance to and nowhere to play it.
posted by Frowner at 11:22 AM on January 13, 2023 [1 favorite]


I went to see a Mekons show in Williamsburg, I think it was the summer before the pandemic, and I was really astounded at how much of the crowd was my age.

They played in Red Hook last month, but I wasn't able to go. The friend who went said it was a great show.

I mean, I did turn 65 this year, but I did not suddenly feel any urge to watch Fox News.
posted by maggiemaggie at 11:54 AM on January 13, 2023 [3 favorites]


Adding to my previous comment: we slightly older folks are going to get Othered just by our appearance (above average quantity of gray or white hair if it exists, etc.).

As I have noted many a time here, the one pejorative ism always here is ageism. It has some sort of Protected Species status. I see a boomer this or a boomer that and on occasion even flag one with a note -- but never to any effect. Sometimes I think the powers that be want us olds all to go away if not actually just die. We are more trouble than it's worth to them.

Also, to all you poor graying X'ers & millennials: Get in line. Behind me.
posted by y2karl at 12:02 PM on January 13, 2023 [10 favorites]


dad grandad rock.

I saw Rush in the nineties in Ottawa. There was a farmer-looking dude with a lotta miles on his face wearing an International Harvester hat and overalls two rows down from me.

Dude airdrummed the shit out of YYZ. wish I'd high-fived him after the show.
posted by Sauce Trough at 12:06 PM on January 13, 2023 [8 favorites]


Sometimes I think the powers that be want us olds all to go away if not actually just die. We are more trouble than it's worth to them.

Y'all are...still...the powers that be? Seems like something older folks might need to sort out 'mongst themselves.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 12:10 PM on January 13, 2023 [18 favorites]


You could not get me into a place like that if you paid me a large sum. I love music but not the kind and volume described herein.
posted by DJZouke at 12:10 PM on January 13, 2023




Sometimes I think the powers that be want us olds all to go away if not actually just die. We are more trouble than it's worth to them.

I'm sorry you experience that! As a Gen Xer, almost no one talks about us ever. Discourse goes straight from boomers to millennials.

Anyway, I'm having a nice time in this thread. Getting a whole lot more hell yeah, I wanna be like these folks and never stop than lol olds. I take high blood pressure meds and I spend too much time thinking about retirement in not so long, so I am pushing in on the aging question one way or another.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:12 PM on January 13, 2023 [10 favorites]


I think for a lot of my peers (folks in various flavors of their 40s), we have watched our parents become increasingly isolated and isolating, even before COVID. And sure, health problems/aging-related disabilities etc. come for most of us--really all of us, just to differing degrees. But: long before my mother had any health problems, she stopped being willing to go to new neighborhoods or restaurants. She stopped ever liking a new movie or a new TV show. One time I asked if we could do a breakfast for my birthday instead of a dinner and she didn't speak to me for three days.

She just got extremely cranky--unwilling to roll with things, try stuff, or deal with changes. And her friends, my aunts and uncles, neighbors from the old neighborhood, they all seemed much the same.

And I thought, oh, this is what I very much do not want as I get older. But knowing what you don't want isn't the same as knowing what you DO want, and I have been long searching for role models who are continuing to engage with life and novelty in their later years.

Probably I'll fail and become a surly asshole who hates everything, because lord knows it's in my blood. But for now, I'm still searching and trying.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 12:32 PM on January 13, 2023 [23 favorites]


First of all, Frowner is absolutely right: "really" dancing is good for you! It's lousy that some cultures restrict it to young adults' mating rituals. It would be great if more families and friend groups did it, say, after dinner at people's houses.

But more generally, I'd like to expand on DMelanogaster's point that [o]lder folks mocking ourselves doesn’t cut it with me either. It’s a kind of “Othering” even if you’re doing it to yourself. There's been some pushback, but I firmly agree.

Most of us have plenty of experience "othering" people older than ourselves.

Every adult was once a kid/teenager/very young adult, and at that time many of us thought "old people" (whatever we meant by that at the time, with or without exemptions for individual old people we loved) were alien and perhaps a little disgusting. Part of that's cultural; part of it's physical; part of it's that everything that's wrong with the world is obviously their fault or it would be fixed already.

If you fail to acknowledge that perspective, much less relinquish it entirely, you distance yourself from your younger self and, by association, from other young people. That's hard, because it leaves you on the unfamiliar side of the weird, past-it old people.

Example: [we] are going to get Othered just by our appearance [...] We might as well own it". Hmm. Why, exactly?

It's embarrassing to remember having felt disgust at people like yourself, but once you're a grownup it really doesn't matter that some people think that grey hair and wrinkled skin are non-normative.

We will obviously never defeat ageism entirely because new people are born every minute. But if we've learned anything about inclusivity in the last few decades, we've at least heard of internalized self-loathing. Grownups need to get over that and move on.

Even supposedly age-friendly comments like the one about the 90s raver scene unthinkingly center the younger members by referring to the "super cool" 70-plus scenesters as "trusted aunts and uncles or [...] grandpas and stewards of our communities." Echoes of "some of my best friends are __" here. Who's the unmarked group? Why weren't the younger scenesters the nieces and nephews or grandchildren?

Also, wow, I cringe when I hear anyone talking about all the normal things that an older relative "still" does.
posted by tangerine at 12:33 PM on January 13, 2023 [5 favorites]


I'm sorry you experience that! As a Gen Xer, almost no one talks about us ever. Discourse goes straight from boomers to millennials.

There's also a super weird thing that's been happening where the meaning and origin of the term "boomer" as in "Post WW2 Baby Boom" is being forgotten or lost by gen y/z and "OK, boomer!" means basically anyone over about 40.

But yeah, us Gen Xers are used to being ignored so whatever.
posted by loquacious at 12:34 PM on January 13, 2023 [11 favorites]


This gives me hope for my dream project: the Bob Smith Home For Aged Goths.

TIL what I want my retirement to look like.
posted by Ruki at 12:35 PM on January 13, 2023 [3 favorites]


Also I used to DJ sometimes as the first set (when no one was really there, so you wouldn't waste the spot on someone more accomplished) and now that all the small arty places are gone that's all done....and of course I've got a whole bunch more new music that I love to dance to and nowhere to play it.

You might want to check out the "ecstatic dance" movement going on right now, and/or starting your own thing.

And if you take away the presence of drugs or alcohol - especially alcohol! - you can have dance parties in a lot more places at more convenient, sleep friendly times.

I've seen "ecstatic dance" or "dance church" events happening at all kinds of places like community centers, yoga studios, Unitarian churches, and even rural granges or other community meeting halls and spaces.

And they're a lot of fun. I went to a couple of events like this before the pandemic in a rural/country grange that started late afternoon and ended well before 9-10ish.

I didn't really know what to expect, but they had the main hall all blacked out with curtains, disco lights and some seriously good deep house and trance music going and the ages ranged from people's kids to people in their 70s and everyone was straight up raving in their socks on a nice polished wood floor.

Downstairs in the basement they had tea, water, juice, snacks and home brew kombucha on tap going on to stay hydrated and places to lounge and take a break and it was all super wholesome. And I will never not be amused by a bunch of kids raving out with their parents and throwing down on the dance floor.

(Granted I would also not be at all surprised if there were more than a few people quietly and privately taking some medicinal mushrooms.)
posted by loquacious at 12:47 PM on January 13, 2023 [8 favorites]


Weirdly, if you want to read some novels that have some good stuff to say about aging, I recommend Doris Lessing's Four-Gated City (of course you have to read the first four Martha Quest books first) and The Diaries of Jane Somers.

One thing that's stuck with me is a sequence in which the active, powerful, probably fifty-ish mother of one of the adult characters freaks out about aging, has what she realizes is a pointless crush on a much younger man and then really freaks out and starts dressing like a much older and frumpier woman where once she'd been fashionable...eventually she settles into her typical life again but I've definitely been thinking lately that I've been pushing myself to do boring "responsible" things, take boring "responsible" social roles, etc (like always doing the boring tasks no one likes at volunteer gigs so that other people can do the fun and fulfilling stuff instead of taking turns or going for stuff I think I'd be good at) because I feel like as an old person I should be stodging it up. I'm trying to push myself to just be, like, a person instead of an Old Person again, but it has been a while and it's an effort.
posted by Frowner at 1:29 PM on January 13, 2023 [8 favorites]


This reminds me of a thing when I was in college, um, 40 years ago. My college girlfriend got me to take a ballroom dancing class. There aren't many places to test out this skill, but my parents found a place that had Big Band music and took us there. My girlfriend and I were the youngest people there. My parents were the second-youngest.
posted by zompist at 1:37 PM on January 13, 2023 [2 favorites]


Even supposedly age-friendly comments like the one about the 90s raver scene unthinkingly center the younger members by referring to the "super cool" 70-plus scenesters as "trusted aunts and uncles or [...] grandpas and stewards of our communities." Echoes of "some of my best friends are __" here.

Fair enough and mea culpa. I will try to be more mindful.

But I also feel you're reading into this a bit uncharitably and perhaps missing some context.

In my context I'm talking about some very illegal and dodgy underground early to mid 90s era raves that were off the beaten path even for people in my age and cohort in some really dirty warehouses and in the presence of large quantities of illegal drugs and even some rather dangerous and legit Los Angeles Rampart Scandal era gang activity.

These weren't club nights or bars.

At the time someone over 30-40 would have had to go seriously far out of their way and get tuned in and turned on to even find out about these things and where they were, and in ways that I would personally find difficult and challenging at the age I am now, even with my personal history with this kind of thing.

Speaking personally and from what I observed from my cohort we were happy to see age diversity at these events for a whole lot of different reasons, and simple novelty or curiosity wasn't part of that. We definitely weren't pointing, laughing or mocking them.

We were well aware that our culture was built by people in older than us with things like Acid Tests, Grateful Dead shows and psychedelic rock and related cultures and countercultures and that what we were doing wasn't at all new, but a revival and we looked back at these preceding cultural movements with a lot of fondness after the excesses and Just Say No drug war era of the 80s.

It was never anything like "Oh, weird, an older person is here dancing!" and really all about "God, I hope I'm still that fucking cool when I get older!" precisely because of fighting the ageist issues about what older people should or shouldn't do that you are talking about.

We were very aware of this ageism and actively against it.

More than a few of us old ravers even actively tried to invite our own parents to some of these things. Like I can't count how many times I was at some beautiful desert rave and I wished I could get my dad to go to a few of them and come hang out and experience it with me.

Who's the unmarked group? Why weren't the younger scenesters the nieces and nephews or grandchildren?

We totally were! We definitely thought of these relationships and friendships like family!

So, I'm actually referencing some very distinct events in my life about this and some notable, particular people.

One person that I'm referencing is someone named Mary. She was, oh, 20ish years older than me and a super cool cat who was into music, especially heavy metal and rock and stuff that was right in her wheelhouse for her age and place in time.

She had a son who was super into the LA rave scene who, sadly, took his own life (or overdosed, I can't remember) somewhere about 1995 or so.

As a process of her grief she ended up exploring this dance music scene that her son loved and talked about so much and all the incredible people he had met.

And so she started coming to events and meeting his friends and peers and my general cohort and found that she, too, loved it as much as her son did. And so she actively and intentionally started becoming a sort of Rave Mom to a lot of us and advocating and practicing harm reduction and dispensing a lot of sage and incredibly useful advice about mental health and self care and actualization.

Not only did she end up involved with organizations like Dance Safe and Hyperreal.org, but she also ended up inheriting and taking over the admin and moderation role for our huge regional email list and calendar called SoCal-Raves and spent thousands of hours of voluntary time managing the events calendar, updating it, engaging in the email list discussions, moderating it, and even teaching a lot of us how to properly and fairly debate and argue with each other about silly shit like music genres.

When I say she was our Rave Mom or Auntie I mean this more as hard earned and deserved term of deep respect not unlike how "auntie" or "uncle" is used as a sign of reverence and deep respect as used in Chinese culture, and it was a title, term and role that she loved and actively leaned into.


Another reference is "Uncle Grandpa" which deserves a lot of context because it sounds super weird.

I'm specfically speaking of one very honorable Thomas Fehlmann, who is perhaps best known as one part of The Orb and one of the originators of "ambient house" music.

We're talking about someone who grew up in the UK's second "Summer of Love" in the late 80s playing at illegal or renegade orbital raves.

I've seen him play a bunch of times as The Orb and as himself solo as a producer and DJ.

The last time I saw him was in the early 2010s in Seattle at the now-defunct Decibel Festival where I was both a patron and a volunteer. He and Alex Patterson played one night as The Orb, and then Mr. Fehlmann had a solo 6 AM DJ set at a smaller venue the same night, IE the next morning.

Everywhere he went he was wearing a natty 3 piece bespoke tailored suit looking everything like Freud found a time machine and went raving and fans of his work were showering him with love and screaming "We love you Uncle Grandpa!" as a beloved nick name, which he appeared to enjoy very much.

I remember I had to rescue him from the security staff at the venue he was doing his 6 AM sunrise DJ set at specifically because the bouncers were being ageist assholes and couldn't believe that this guy that looked like Freud found a time machine to go raving while wearing a totally unbelievably bespoke tailored pale blue and gray suit was there to play and DJ a dance party at 6 AM, because he forgot his artist lanyard at his hotel room.

I had to pull out my all access stage lanyard and wear it and just rush up to him talking with security at the side entrance to the venue and in a bit of smooth thinking I just quickly shook his hand and said something like "Mr. Fehlmann, thank you for everything, that show with The Orb at (venue name) was amazing, and I'm really looking forward to your DJ set next!" and escorted him into the venue.

More to the point I spent most of his DJ set totally exhausted from working the festival and absolutely stunned and marveling that he even had the energy to play two shows in one night, much less throwing down one of the best deep, dubby minimal deep house sets I've ever heard in my entire life at six in the fuckin' morning looking cool, polished and put together and I barely could stand up.


Last, there is additional and important context missing in that there's a long and problematic history of older people showing up in typically younger venues with abusive or intrusive sexual intent that raises healthy suspicion and caution that's absolutely warranted.

A notable example is John Draper aka Cap'n Crunch, the old phone phreak and hacker who had ties to Steve Wozniak and Steve Jobs. He's well known not just for attending Defcon and trying to get younger men or boys to go back to his hotel room to try to assault them without their enthusiastic consent.

Draper also had a long history of showing up at many of these same 90s era raves and behaving absolutely awfully to vulnerable younger men who were often way too intoxicated to even give clear-minded enthusiastic consent and he was NOT safe.

John Draper definitely was not uncle or grandpa and definitely and especially not Uncle Grandpa.


When I use these terms "auntie" or "uncle" like this it is not at all casual or random or ageist but a hard earned and very trusted term of respect or endearment because they earned it through their words and actions, and they are all role models that I personally strive to emulate and follow their leads.

Today? Today I've been called aunt as well as uncle many, many times and I live for it. It makes me feel seen, cherished and respected and that I've done right and followed in the footsteps of some really good people who tried to make a difference and bridge generational gaps and erase ageism and help protect people from harm.

This isn't a case of "Oh, I'm not racist, some of my best friends are ____!" at all.

This is "I deeply respect and love these older people in my life and culture and the wisdom they've shared with me and my peers."
posted by loquacious at 2:01 PM on January 13, 2023 [34 favorites]


(1) if geezers can inspire rock shows at clubs to start consistently before 9 p.m. I would love it. While there's a lot not to like about seeing shows at the big venues in NYC, I passionately adore that they force the shows to start early enough to beat curfews that can be as early as 9 p.m. (Forest Hills), and are never later than midnight.

(2) LOTS of geezers at New York rock shows. Hipsterish geezers at clubs, Wall Street geezers at MSG and the Beacon, but geezers all the same. It really helps to be old to have the kind of money and/or leisure that the rock show lifestyle requires. I'm 51 and for most shows I don't feel notably older than average in the audience. (Occasionally everyone will be in their 20s which makes me feel either out of place, or really with it, depending upon what the band is. Nice that I can just stare into my phone rather than have to make awkward conversation with the the zoomers.)
posted by MattD at 2:11 PM on January 13, 2023 [2 favorites]


I'm 64. I do still go to shows. Not as often, and I'm pretty selective. I recently went to see Jesus and Mary Chain, and damn if it wasn't a great show, with a lot of folks around my age and a few kids too. At the same time, I mostly avoid other people. I like hanging at home with my cat. I have to ask, the folks who hate the term geezer, do you also complain about the kids? Do you find yourself saying "And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for those damned kids!"
Smoke a scooby snack, gramps, it'll be ok.
posted by evilDoug at 2:23 PM on January 13, 2023 [3 favorites]


We're all pretty much saying the dancers are awesome and they remind us of ourselves and/or we want to be like them/plan to echo their ways soon.

The only real negative vibes are the folks displeased with the references to what the dancers call themselves.

I mean, cool that you want us to be cognizant of the potential hurtful nature of "geezers" and okay hey, always glad to learn ways to be kinder. But at a certain point, rather than continue to steer the conversation away from how awesome they are into language debates, and since they're not here to change their minds anyway, maybe we can just let their own name for the event ride?

I'd rather talk about dancing and rock n' roll and having fun every day I have left.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 2:26 PM on January 13, 2023 [10 favorites]


Every time I go to a show, I look around and notice that everybody else looks like they're forty years younger than I am. But I don't care, and they don't seem to, either.
posted by The Half Language Plant at 2:29 PM on January 13, 2023 [2 favorites]


Mid-40s here... this past year I started going to cheap shows in the city (I live near Philly) if I'd heard of the act before, which was usually because my kids had introduced them to me. I saw Arlo Parks and Julia Jacklin, and also went to see The Shins doing the anniversary tour of Oh Inverted World mainly for Joseph as the openers. I was sure I'd be the oldest at the Arlo Parks show, but there were a couple parents bringing their kids, and one very cool mom or auntie who had brought their kindergartener in big over the ear headphones. (Which I've also started wearing to shows myself.)

My kids are keeping me connected with the music of The Youts, and I'm having fun with all this. I even recognized Michelle Zauner's name on the cloakroom at Union Transfer!
posted by sockshaveholes at 2:32 PM on January 13, 2023 [1 favorite]


I will say that I think it is actively bad that there is no kind of dance venue where it's normal for people over about 30 to really dance*

I'm mid-50's, living in northern Virginia, and within the last year discovered there are at least two dance halls within 15 miles of me. I went to disco night at one (Colvin Run), where they tried to teach me disco but I'll say that the place was packed and I was younger than most of the participants.

No band, as in the article, and this was for a formalized dance style (as opposed to the free-form dancing I performed in the 80's). That joint was jumping for three+ hours. Hard to imagine folks having danced disco since the 1970's but they were there! It was a blast.

I learned there is a whole subculture of dancing in my area. Heck, I have a friend who just started ballroom dancing for the fun of it. I understand it isn't the same as having a live band but sharing what I've discovered in case there are others who wish to seek it out.
posted by bacalao_y_betun at 2:35 PM on January 13, 2023 [3 favorites]


I'm going to a Drivin' N Cryin show tomorrow night. I fully expect the average age to be about 50+. I'm also going to see way more UGA hats in one place than should ever exist outside of Athens, GA.
posted by COD at 2:35 PM on January 13, 2023 [3 favorites]


Now it's time for some Dietmar and Nellia.
posted by y2karl at 2:42 PM on January 13, 2023


Ballroom dancing - folk, social, vintage, or probably even competition-style - WITH a live band is deliriously fun.

It’s also pretty good for transmission of airborne diseases, so I’ve sadly given it up for the duration, but I understand why not everyone did.
posted by clew at 2:42 PM on January 13, 2023 [1 favorite]


I feel the need to quote the late, great Terry Pratchett at this point: “...inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.”
posted by cstross at 2:44 PM on January 13, 2023 [28 favorites]


you see it started in the 60s when you giggle at Simon Garfunkel' last name while riding your Eleanor Rigby trike. The '70s is when older sisters insist on participation during Soul Train.
The trepidation and self-consciousness, roll up those bell bottoms suddenly you're in the '80s holding a jambox up high churning hells bells and dancing like Schroeder...

Alone in a darkened room
The count

Bela Lugosi's dead.

then we're on to the '90s, back to Big sweaters and tone loc.

by 2000s you're married contemplating Count Basie.

by 2020, you watching YouTube videos of Christopher Walken doing a soft shoe.

Alas, the mid-golden years, we come to know in the mood for the first time and see more Ink Spots.

I don't want to set my dance card on
fire.
posted by clavdivs at 3:02 PM on January 13, 2023 [5 favorites]


maybe we can just let their own name for the event ride?

Of course! I'll readily admit that the objection to the name was a derail (still think it's a kind of self-othering, though), and those clubbers can and should call themselves whatever the hell they like.

Meanwhile I know you've probably all seen the Georgians in this clip (which is just an overdubbed version of that original) but I'm wfh in soggy California today and it feels kind of pertinent.
posted by tangerine at 3:29 PM on January 13, 2023 [3 favorites]


Coincidentally, I'm listening to The Ink Spots heavy Fallout 4 soundtrack as I type this, dancing my 51, er, 52-year old ass around the kitchen as I make dinner.
posted by mollweide at 3:31 PM on January 13, 2023 [3 favorites]


I’m glad to see that as long as I continue to go to rock shows, That One Creepy Guy will always be there.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 3:51 PM on January 13, 2023 [4 favorites]


another take on this:

I saw Iron Maiden for the first time when I was in my late thirties and they were somewhere in their fifties. Watching Bruce Dickinson tigger-ing around the stage was so fucking invigorating -- he was dominating acres of screaming guitar amps with his voice while running a 10K + occasional aerobics on their cartoonishly huge dad-rock stage. And the date I saw was in the middle of a grueling three-month tour with only three blank days on the schedule.

I'm not sure if this is one of the tours where he was also flying the tour plane.

fucking inspiring. I want to age like Bruce. Maybe I won't but can't hurt to try.
posted by Sauce Trough at 4:17 PM on January 13, 2023 [1 favorite]


Some were headed to Zal Gaz Grotto, an old Masonic social club on the west side of the city

Legendary spot on Stadium.
posted by clavdivs at 4:27 PM on January 13, 2023


I’m glad to see that as long as I continue to go to rock shows, That One Creepy Guy will always be there.

Not becoming the Creepy Guy is a life goal at this point.
posted by Dip Flash at 4:34 PM on January 13, 2023 [4 favorites]


My mom told me that when she and my dad retired, they began a social life renaissance of sorts. My brother and I had left the house, they had their little nest egg and nothing but time. So they went out and did stuff and met other retirees and partied! They retired a few years early, so in their early 60s they could still stay up (relatively) late, get (relatively) drunk, etc. Something they absolutely couldn’t do when working full time and raising kids.
posted by zardoz at 4:43 PM on January 13, 2023 [2 favorites]


I don't like the term "geezer" because as I learned it, it was a slur and referred to men (though I was once profiled for a publication entitled Geezer Jock). I don't like "Boomer" because it usually occurs in a sentence that is also a generalized slur about a surprisingly varied cohort that didn't all have it easy and isn't uniformly fossilized. (Human beings really really want to be prejudiced about something, and it keeps astonishing me how otherwise enlightened folks can be comfortable about hating old folks and straight out saying they should all retire and/or die, yes COVID was an eye opener).) I'm 71 and I am constantly picking up new music and currently relearning French for my next adventure, and I'm a progressive and an activist. I'm a competitive athlete. Most of my friends are of all different ages.

Yet I liked the article, except for the air of astonishment that old people could possibly have any fun. Favorite line: "the only downsides, she added, are that they lose stuff a lot and have, on a few occasions, needed an ambulance."
posted by Peach at 5:53 PM on January 13, 2023 [4 favorites]


And--because I can't resist this kind of sadistic calendar checking--"Our Lips Are Sealed" by The Go-Go's is older now than Frank Sinatra's first solo single "Night and Day" was in 1982 when "Our Lips Are Sealed" came out.

The youngest Go-Go (guitarist Kathy Valentine) is older today than the oldest of the Golden Girls (Betty White) was the day that show premiered.

The youngest Golden Girl, Rue McLanahan, was 51 when the show began. This is the same age as Amanda Peet, Gwyneth Paltrow, or Cameron Diaz right now.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:04 PM on January 13, 2023 [12 favorites]


The Go-Gos' pandemic recording slayed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNcfx2dx9_8

Jane Wiedlin with stage presence that shines through even on a dumb little phone screen.
posted by Sauce Trough at 6:12 PM on January 13, 2023 [3 favorites]


Re: "geezers": There is considerable research on what collective terms older adults like for themselves. Well, there's no term that they LIKE. The most disliked term is "elderly". The American Geriatrics Society, an organization for providers of geriatric medicine, forbids the use of "elderly" in its publications. If you submit an article with "elderly" in it they will make you change it. When this rule went into effect a few years ago the crowd quickly settled on "older adults" as the standard term. It is the vagueness of the term that accounts for its appeal.
posted by neuron at 7:30 PM on January 13, 2023 [3 favorites]


I saw Rush in the nineties in Ottawa. There was a farmer-looking dude with a lotta miles on his face wearing an International Harvester hat and overalls two rows down from me.

I'm 65 and every Rush show I had been to in this century I could look around and see fellow geezers amongst the young Peart wannabes drumming away. And I would think to myself, I'm not the only one who has heard Geddy say "This is side one from our latest album. This is 2112."

Don't even get me started on Springsteen shows...
posted by Ber at 8:20 PM on January 13, 2023 [5 favorites]


Well, there's no term that they LIKE. The most disliked term is "elderly".

I am the censor from the Citizens' Radio Committee
posted by flabdablet at 9:16 PM on January 13, 2023


Geezer Butler, HA.
posted by clavdivs at 10:05 PM on January 13, 2023 [3 favorites]


There's also a super weird thing that's been happening where the meaning and origin of the term "boomer" as in "Post WW2 Baby Boom" is being forgotten or lost by gen y/z and "OK, boomer!" means basically anyone over about 40.

For a Gen Xer it feels a bit like how a Scot might at being called English, or a Canadian at being called American.
posted by rory at 10:41 PM on January 13, 2023 [10 favorites]


Re: "geezers": There is considerable research on what collective terms older adults like for themselves. Well, there's no term that they LIKE.

Around here, a lot of seniors' groups pick names that are just slightly naughty, without actually being offensive. So a swimming group might have t-shirts calling themselves "SOBs-- Seniors Over Board" or the gentlemen's motorcycle group might be "MFers -- Motorcycling Fellers". To me it is such classic older people humor; I can remember my grandfather and his buddies making the exact same sorts of jokes, and eventually I'll probably be doing the same thing.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:25 AM on January 14, 2023 [5 favorites]


And--because I can't resist this kind of sadistic calendar checking--"Our Lips Are Sealed" by The Go-Go's is older now than Frank Sinatra's first solo single "Night and Day" was in 1982 when "Our Lips Are Sealed" came out.

The youngest Go-Go (guitarist Kathy Valentine) is older today than the oldest of the Golden Girls (Betty White) was the day that show premiered.

The youngest Golden Girl, Rue McLanahan, was 51 when the show began. This is the same age as Amanda Peet, Gwyneth Paltrow, or Cameron Diaz right now.


I was listening to a Metropolitan Opera radio broadcast from around 1935, and halfway through the first act I suddenly realized that 1935 is closer to the year I was born than today is. Way closer. [cries]
posted by JanetLand at 7:47 AM on January 14, 2023 [5 favorites]


I wonder if all those cranky old people we have all met are/were actually depressed. Mental health issues are even today stigmatized, but just a few years ago, it was even worse.

In my life, I have been surrounded by lovely, lively older people. My parents were young when I was born, and I spent a lot of time with my grandparents on both sides, and the great aunts and the "aunties and uncles", their close friends. They weren't disgusting, they were lovely and they adored me and spoilt me. What could be bad about that? And specially my maternal grandparents were very outgoing and fun -- at their golden wedding anniversary, they danced on the tables, and fell down, and got up and danced again till dawn, though from then on only on the floor. Their music was swing, but that makes sense, given their age. I still like The Pretenders, though I also try to keep up to date. So my advice for anyone who wants to change the perception of old age is to engage with the very young.

While I was at university, there were a few years when every summer brought a wonderful Belgian dance tent to town. For some reason, from the first season on it attracted a multi-generational crowd. And it wasn't just me, the gerontophile, but everyone I knew who loved those nights, where we all danced across generations. They opened a bit earlier then the clubs and there was a bit less drinking -- maybe they didn't have hard alcohol -- and that might have been part of the attraction for older people. I don't know, and can't ask, since they have passed away now.
posted by mumimor at 8:23 AM on January 14, 2023 [3 favorites]


Someone mentioned goths above and I have a friend right at my age who moved to LA, because he felt drawn to the warm embrace of the city's elegantly aging goth scene. Those folks know how to do getting older right.

I was the someone- my housemate and I met ages ago at Neo in Chicago (may it rest in peace). We both turn 50 this year. Definitely in the aging goth demographic. I mentioned this thread to her, with the multiple mentions of the relatively gracefully aging goth scene, and her response was, and I quote, "That's right, motherfucker! Sunscreen!"
posted by notoriety public at 9:20 AM on January 14, 2023 [9 favorites]


The people that could afford houses in their twenties can afford to go out and drink at live music in their 60s.

Everyone else can wipe down the tables or guard the door.
posted by NoThisIsPatrick at 9:35 AM on January 14, 2023 [3 favorites]


The people that could afford houses in their twenties can afford to go out and drink at live music in their 60s.

Or maybe they have housemates and all of them go together.

I'm speculating here, because the article says nothing about any of the Geezers' living circumstances.
posted by virago at 10:50 AM on January 14, 2023 [4 favorites]


The US seems to use "geezer" as shorthand for "old geezer". To UK ears, it's as if "dude" were suddenly assumed to mean "old dude".

But it can also imply a sort of 1970s Whitechapel character, possibly played by Bob Hoskins in a flat cap an overcoat. Or maybe Del Boy or something.
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 11:39 AM on January 14, 2023 [1 favorite]


I have a friend who was into punk rock in the middle 80s and once she dragged me to some underground club in Pioneer Square so she could slam away in the mosh pit while I nursed a beer at the bar. And I swear to god -- everyone I saw looked like teenagers to me, like kids I went high school with in the mid-60s, right down to the smooth cheeks and early Beatles length haircuts on the boys. When someone in their 30s came down the stairs, I thought 'Whoa, they certainly are out of place,' turned around and then looked up at myself in the bar mirror. Now that was a sobering experience.
posted by y2karl at 1:20 PM on January 14, 2023 [5 favorites]


The US seems to use "geezer" as shorthand for "old geezer".
This is a correct reading. The only US meaning is senior citizen / pensioner / coffin-dodger. And it's usually gender-neutral.
Thus the 7pm nerd rock indie band show for an older audience = Weezer for Geezers.

There's no 'that Baz, he's a proper geezer' flat-cap meaning in the US.
Just another 'divided by a common language' word, like biscuit or homely.
posted by bartleby at 2:46 PM on January 14, 2023 [1 favorite]


~I also went to a major chain grocery store yesterday and they were playing Talk Talk, The Smiths and Depeche Mode.

~The other day I saw an ad using..."Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangster!"


Instacart, I believe, is using No Diggedy in their commercials. Seriously. I think some marketing droid heard “I got to bag it up” and that was that. Deal done. And no one at the ad agency (or, apparently, Instacart) bothered to read the rest of the lyrics.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:25 PM on January 14, 2023 [2 favorites]


I'm 55 and I still go in the pit (sometimes, when it's not too crazy...)!
posted by AJaffe at 8:04 AM on January 17, 2023 [1 favorite]


« Older Stills from a film made in a parallel timeline   |   Pop Music Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments