Not exactly painless
February 20, 2023 2:32 AM   Subscribe

Hello, buckaroos, it's the M-day again, I'm afraid. Now, there's no way this thread can make Mondays pain-free, but today, for your own good, we will give you some pain, free.

Way back in 2013, Ze Frank had the foresight to assemble a "pain pack" selection of sound samples to better express some of the feelings we would be having 10 years on. It's a download, it's free, and it's pain full. What more could the modern musician, mixer, media lover, or masochist want on a moody March Monday?

Please enjoy your free thread, and all the pain we bring you.
posted by taz (83 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
If you think about it, T Pain's name, last name first, would be PainT.
posted by Literaryhero at 3:38 AM on February 20, 2023 [2 favorites]


Biden, one hour ago, walking the streets of Kyiv while air raid sirens go off.

I made a post a month ago about a historian, Timothy Snyder, who said that the history of this presidency will forget about oil prices and employment figures, but will focus on the outcome of this war.

To quote Mark Twain, this is a big fucking deal.
posted by adept256 at 3:54 AM on February 20, 2023 [13 favorites]


I'm sacking out after a big and complex day (well, period of time where t is equal to as long a time as you need for your life to go to shit) by pummeling my head with the shiny new Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs.

LIYL BIG. FUCKEN. RIFFS.
posted by prismatic7 at 4:10 AM on February 20, 2023 [1 favorite]


My tiny arthritic cat and I are venturing to the veterinarian on Thursday for what they tell me will be a magic shot to take away the pain she has had since we snagged her out of the back yard many many years ago. Perhaps she can make some of your Thursday pain disappear along with it.
posted by Peach at 4:50 AM on February 20, 2023 [11 favorites]


To relax, I take in a lot of stuff about various human origin points. I was listening to an audiobook about the Proto-Indo-Europeans called The Horse, The Wheel, and Language in order to do just that, when I realized that so many of the important archaeological sites and cultures he described were places I'd heard about in the Ukraine war. Particularly Mariupol, which was an important PIE site once and now it's ... well. I couldn't stop thinking about it. The sorrow isn't for the things that were blown up, you understand, it's just ... are we Indo-European types going to keep doing this to the world for the next six thousand years too, or what?

Well, anyway, the book was well before that. It's worthwhile, although you should actually read it, unlike me -- it's not a good audiobook. The medium doesn't lend itself to discussions of the precise millimeter depth of dental wear required to prove that a horse was bitted during its lifetime. But I've already downloaded it, and it's more soothing than podcasts.
posted by Countess Elena at 4:54 AM on February 20, 2023 [4 favorites]


A year ago, Ottawa was the site of a contentious weeks-long “protest” which ultimately resulted in the federal government invoking the Emergencies Act to shut it down. There was, as required, a commission afterwards to gauge whether or not the response was justified; the commission’s report, tabled Friday in the House of Commons, found the government was justified in doing so.

Of course, many of the people who were inclined to support the trucks going beep-beep and honk-honk take issue with the findings. It seems many reject it because of the blatant corruption in the choice of arbiter: Mr Justice Paul Rouleau of the Ontario Court of Appeals delivered the conclusion and this was immediately dismissed as invalid because he is the PM’s uncle !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (You may add as many additional exclamation points as you feel appropriate.)

Their position: Pierre Trudeau’s sister Suzette (1918-2008) married a fellow named Pierre Rouleau many decades ago, and they have deduced this is clearly the same guy. Never mind the different given names, or Pierre being mentioned in Suzette’s obituary as predeceasing her, or Mr Justice Rouleau receiving his degrees in the late seventies through mid-eighties — it was nice of his sexagenarian wife to support her undergrad husband — this clinches it.

I am not a big fan of the PM, but if this is the best that the opposition can muster up, it’s not hard to see why he keeps winning elections.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:24 AM on February 20, 2023 [12 favorites]


Feral cat colony and Flurb update:

Luna is my one grey feral out of a bunch of black and white kitties, and the one cat I've never been able to trap successfully. So when a few amorous tomcats started hanging around I knew it was time to try again. I got some traps from the local animal care center and I've spent the last three weeks trying to trap Luna or the tomcats, with no luck whatsoever.

I've tried cat food, tuna fish, Churu, treats, I've tried covering the traps with a sheet or with cardboard, pretty much every trick in the book. Luna stops by, checks out the trap, then she sits next to it while glaring at my house. It's a humbling thing to be outwitted by animals.

So I sent up the cat signal. I called a friend who's been taking care of a colony of 20+ cats for years who has a whole lot more expertise and equipment than I have, but unfortunately she's out of town for a while. She's set me up with another experienced cat trapper, though, who'll be out later this week to help.

Flurb, who regular readers will recall is the stray cat who wandered into my house a while back, has developed some sort of skin issue. He's so itchy he's taking patches out of his fur when he scratches. I've been to the vet twice so far, and she's not sure what the cause might be; we've tried antibiotics and steroids and Bravera, but nothing seems to have helped, and it's driving him frantic. I've been able to get another vet appointment for later this morning.

And so far, no luck on the job hunt. These days I can't catch a cat, a job, or a break.
posted by MrVisible at 5:54 AM on February 20, 2023 [12 favorites]


Mr visible what kind of job are you looking for?
posted by rebent at 6:19 AM on February 20, 2023 [2 favorites]


Mondays can be painful but holiday Mondays are just extended Sunday.

For all y’all federal employees in the U.S., today is officially Washington’s Birthday, but the calendar calls it President’s Day. But the real holiday is that today is My Birthday (Observed), as My Birthday fell on a Sunday this year.

So if you have the day off, you’re welcome. Enjoy it.
posted by caution live frogs at 6:28 AM on February 20, 2023 [18 favorites]


It's a day off for many of the Canadian provinces as well, but not if you're a federal employee.
posted by seanmpuckett at 6:35 AM on February 20, 2023 [1 favorite]


I got up this morning, grabbed my coffee, went upstairs, fired up my VPN, opened Outlook, scanned my email, prepared to settle in for the day. That was when I checked Twitter and saw a tweet that said "Happy President's Day!" and I realized I have the day off.
posted by bondcliff at 6:38 AM on February 20, 2023 [10 favorites]


Happy Birthday (possibly belated, I'm not sure) to caution live frogs!

The only "pain" here is my lazy id's whining about not wanting to go to the gym today, but I have to because I put it off yesterday AND the day before. Woe.

...Not that I was a lazy layabout either day; Saturday I had plans for a late afternoon movie in Williamsburg, and there was a gardening store there I wanted to check out, so I spent the whole day on a ramble, hitting up the garden store and wandering and checking out little vintage shops (and getting a teen girl I know a birthday gift for this week) and such, and I was lugging along two plant pots from the garden show the whole time. At some point I had lunch at this chicken and waffles place that was so big it was all I ate all day.

And yesterday I was repotting all of my herbs at home and prepping the community garden plot for the coming year. ...The herbs I'd stashed in the greenhouse have all died - mainly because I kept forgetting to water them, whoops. (Oh well, I will get more when they get into the shops this spring; I'm already planning a big flower-and-container-plant run when it warms up a bit.

But I was still dragging 5 herb pots one block to the garden (best place to repot things without making a mess in the apartment) and cutting back dead growth and cutting back the dead wood on the one plant from the greenhouse that had some life in it and composting the others, then lugging the repotted plants back home - followed by a big house clean while my roommate was out.

...Keeping an eye on the weather today. If the rain holds off I may also go to Brooklyn's botanic garden, but if it rains....I don't know. (I just don't want it to be the gym.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:38 AM on February 20, 2023 [1 favorite]


rebent, I'm looking for anything remote because I don't have a functional immune system. I've got a ton of experience in tech support and customer service jobs as well as administering learning management systems so I've been focusing on those, but I'm really good at picking up new skills.
posted by MrVisible at 6:39 AM on February 20, 2023


It's a regular work day for me but I can look forward to it being free of the Postal Service putting anything in my mailbox, which is nice.

But I'd really like to see the Postal Service being free of its Trump puppet "leader".
posted by tommasz at 6:40 AM on February 20, 2023 [4 favorites]


Flurb, who regular readers will recall is the stray cat who wandered into my house a while back, has developed some sort of skin issue. He's so itchy he's taking patches out of his fur when he scratches.

Cha Cha, one of the long term fosters at our house, has a similar mystery itch condition. Steroids do give some relief in her case, but it’s only temporary. Our management plan is just giving her another course whenever she starts trending itchward again. She is beautiful despite her patchy fur, and happy despite her troubled past.

If steroids aren’t working for poor Flurb, I don’t know what’s left to try. Poor itchy kitty.
posted by notoriety public at 6:59 AM on February 20, 2023 [2 favorites]


Florida’s schools are so underfunded and behind on technology that when the governor banned CRT in the classrooms they’ve also had to throw out most of their computers and AV carts.
posted by interogative mood at 7:05 AM on February 20, 2023 [5 favorites]


Just got back from the vet, and she agreed with you, notoriety public; she thinks it's an allergy, and she's prescribed another course of steroids. Hopefully he'll be less itchy soon. I hate to see him so uncomfortable.
posted by MrVisible at 7:42 AM on February 20, 2023


I used to be stressed about finding a new job, now I'm stressed about relocating and finding a new apartment.

This is a good problem to have, but boy, all of my "do not trust ANYTHING you read in a Craigslist" posting neurons are firing.
posted by Jeanne at 7:50 AM on February 20, 2023 [2 favorites]


I am at the point of learning TypeScript that I am beginning to loathe it.

That is all, thank you.
posted by SunSnork at 7:51 AM on February 20, 2023 [4 favorites]


MrVisible, my fluffball also scratches from allergies. We've figured out, by process of elimination, that she's allergic to certain kinds of cat litter. We buy her hypoallergenic litter and her scratching has gotten better. She still scratches, but not to the point where she's pulling it out all of her fur.
posted by ceejaytee at 8:03 AM on February 20, 2023 [1 favorite]


First day off in a fortnight and I've done exactly one (1!) of the multitude of Things that need doing (which is par for the course and why so many Things need doing). Have had an absolutely filthy cold this last few days which hasn't helped matters. Nothing like having to repeatedly excuse yourself mid-conversation to blow your nose before Something Happens, tres professional. Nice to have some me-time and not have to chug infinite energy drinks for a day though. Got a big friends meetup/meal/pub crawl planned for a rare Saturday off this weekend, so something good to look forward to!
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 8:08 AM on February 20, 2023


The significant size, diameter, and mass of this wheel of cheese results in continued enjoyment through these early months of the year.
posted by Wordshore at 8:20 AM on February 20, 2023 [12 favorites]


A local new retail business opened up a block or two from me and I find their offerings and staff congenial, so I shop there regularly. I was recently offered a loyalty card (you know, where they punch a little hole in it each time you buy something and you redeem it at the end). I accepted it, sure. I wasn’t quite sure what I get at the end, but why not?

Yesterday I was in while someone was redeeming a completed card. Turns out that when you fill a card, you can use it to get 10% off your next purchase. Okay then.

Buy one, get one free represents a 50% saving. Turning in a card after ten coffees, say, to get a free one represents a ~9% saving (11 for the price of 10). This seems to me be offering steady customers basically a 1% discount. Better than a punch in the throat, I guess, but this is a pretty timid initiative to keep people coming back.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:29 AM on February 20, 2023 [3 favorites]


This year, I've made a project of playing through a short game every weekend, whenever possible. I'm not done with my current short game yet, but since today's President's Day, it's still technically the weekend, right?!

Said game, by the way, is called RiME. It's beautiful and controls well, and I highly recommend it if you like games such as ICO or Journey.
posted by May Kasahara at 8:50 AM on February 20, 2023 [2 favorites]


It's a day off for many of the Canadian provinces as well, but not if you're a federal employee.

In the US, you're MUCH more likely to get a day like today off if you're a state or federal employee. Today is President's Day, as mentioned above, which was once two holidays that fell on random days of the week, Lincoln's Birthday and Washington's Birthday, but eventually became one holiday always celebrated on a Monday for the sake of the three-day weekend. All the public schools are closed. But it's not the kind of holiday most of us really have the opportunity to celebrate, except that it's a traditional weekend for appliance sales.
posted by Well I never at 8:56 AM on February 20, 2023 [1 favorite]


ceejaytee, thank you so much for telling me about your cat. I've got hypoallergenic cat litter on the way now. Flurb's little paws get particularly itchy, so I've got a feeling you might be right about the litter being the cause. I really appreciate it.
posted by MrVisible at 8:57 AM on February 20, 2023 [5 favorites]


I have been to the gym, oh what a good girl am I. It's gray and blechhy, so I will likely putter around the house and bake things the rest of the day.

It's an early day for me tomorrow anyway - it's Mardi Gras, and I've ordered a King Cake to share with my office (I got the call with this job offer the day before I was flying down to New Orleans for Mardi Gras 2020, so it's a day of personal significance - plus, hell, King Cake). It's sitting in the office kitchen freezer and needs 3 hours to thaw; plus I can have fun decorating my office and blasting the Treme soundtrack. I also found a spot where I can have a po' boy tomorrow night.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:07 AM on February 20, 2023 [3 favorites]


I have to work(from home) today, but my child has the day off from high school and is feeling chatty. It's impacting my introversion, maaaaaaan.
posted by wenestvedt at 9:19 AM on February 20, 2023 [4 favorites]


Six days ago I had a blowout and had to get towed to the tire place, where the car sat a day waiting for the new tire replacement to arrive.

Five days ago I picked it up. Price of the tire: $140. I had it, but I am as always of extremely modest means so it hurt.

Four days ago, that night, I was starting to do some late night Doordashing when, after driving over some train tracks, that same tire started going zuv zuv zuv.... Car gets towed to the tire place again.

Three days ago, over the phone, they tell me the tire was bad, they have to order a replacement.

I sit out the weekend without the car.

Today, at the tire place, they tell me they have the new tire on and would I like to pay by cash or card? WHAT?

After a bit of shaming from me, they take the tire back to look at it, actually to see if the tire might have been punctured so they could get out of replacing their replacement gratis. They could not.

The verdict is that it could have been a bad valve stem or the tire hadn't been seated properly. I remember in the past that there was an issue with the tire not sealing well. Still though, they were the ones who had put it on and hadn't noticed any issues.

I get the car back, they say it's sealed, but now I just know I'm going to have to check it daily. Another item heaped upon my cognitive load. Walking to the car, I feel the tire. It seems firm....

...and they had forgotten to put the cap on the valve stem.
posted by JHarris at 9:32 AM on February 20, 2023 [12 favorites]


So I was getting on the highway the other day. There is a car stopped, flashers on, guy waving frantically, so, of course; I pull over. He pokes his head in my door and in a heavy accent, says he is out of gas, or gas is bad, shows me a space between his fingers, like a quarter inch, says he is driving from Texas, he needs money. I say you are very near gas stations, I would be happy to bring you a couple of gallons. He says he needs money, I say people are much more likely to bring him some gas than money...he shakes his head, mystified and tells me I am very kind, but he needs money. Deciding to drive on I look at him, because I really don't stare at people, I realize he is wearing more gold than I have ever seen, and the hand on my windowsill has on a huge gold watch, rings, and some heavy looking, dozen gold bracelets. I go on to the parts store to pick up my fuel filter, and I am describing this encounter, this thin, sorta birdlike woman, who, (surprise,) works the parts counter, says it's a SCAM! When she says SCAM, she shows nearly all her teeth, when she says the word. Finally I put this together and see, the guy is selling jewelry, and my question is, is it fake jewelry, or did he rob a store in Texas and is making his way across the country? I thank her very much, I would have never gotten this. But between the golden guy and the parts store, a couple of police women pulled up alongside me and I told them about the guy on the freeway onramp covered in gold, and out of gas, needing help. They peeled away, maybe they already know all about this business model.
posted by Oyéah at 9:49 AM on February 20, 2023 [7 favorites]


It is unseasonable warm, and there are a variety of birds outside my sunny window. I am thankful for the chitter chatter chirping. Trying to be mindful here. Present. So I pushed all my nagging thoughts onto a list of boxes to check on the apple reminder doodad. And JHarris's wheel trouble just reminded me to add that the snowblower that isn't getting into gear and needs a couple of parts. And then I remembered that the Honda's front axle needs replacing as it's starting to grind when I turn corners.

The count is now 105 projects that need attention. boo to that.

In the present though: EmpressCallipygos my previous office always had a King Cake with a little baby in it and that whole thing. That part was great. My new office struggled to even pronounce Pączki, which is just the best sort of Polish doughnuts you can imagine.

ricochet biscuit: my local used book shop just insists that I get one of their discount cards, but their terms are too generous. Now I've been in there enough (and likely made the same comments about Carol Stone) that I am now 'memorable' and so now I feel obligated to use the card.
posted by zenon at 9:57 AM on February 20, 2023 [5 favorites]


Why do I think that buy ten, get one free is 10% off? Isn't it?
posted by Oyéah at 10:02 AM on February 20, 2023


11 for the price of 10 ... let's work it out, if each item is originally $10, means the cost of each item in the deal is $9.09 ... which is about 9% off.

3 for the price of 2 ... $10 items, final cost $6.66, so 33% off, not 50% off.
posted by seanmpuckett at 10:10 AM on February 20, 2023 [2 favorites]


What an odd scam Oyéah, since it starts with "being out of gas" and ends with a cash purchase of jewelry on the side of the road. I suppose it's not unlike the "found ring" con that used to be popular in Paris (in which somebody pretends to find a gold ring, asks if it is yours, and then tries to get you to buy it off them.) In either situation you have to wonder who would fall for it.

This week somebody attacked our college community with a phishing scam, using names, addresses, and credentials scraped off the institutional website. The email starts with "One of our staff at [institution] is downsizing and looking to give away Her late Dad's piano to a loving home" and of course the scam is to get you to pay moving costs on a piano that doesn't exist. Unfortunately they used my name at the bottom as the purported sender, and chose another colleague as the alleged person with the piano. I think 99 out of 100 people would be smart enough to see through all of this (and I contacted the college IT dept so that they could filter for it) but hopefully no one contacts me later and says "where the hell is that piano?"
posted by anhedonic at 10:11 AM on February 20, 2023 [3 favorites]


We had our Mardi Gras parade here on Sunday because convenience beats calendar. It's the first year I've gotten to watch the parade instead of marching in it. The Tiny Monster enjoyed it and we got to bring my 11 year old nephew who is just starting to play trombone. I wanted to introduce him to the concept that you can be a band geek your whole life, not just in school.
posted by The Monster at the End of this Thread at 11:06 AM on February 20, 2023 [3 favorites]


Yesterday I went skiing for the first time this season. It was sunny-ish, not too cold or windy, and the mountain had packed powder which is what works best for me. I did better than expected, which was to just ski green trails. I did a couple of blue runs which went well.

So, I've now skied once in each of the last four winters. A few years ago I would ski 10-20 times a year. I live in Oregon so it's just a 90 minute drive from home.
posted by neuron at 11:35 AM on February 20, 2023 [2 favorites]


I had a guy hit me up for some money, outside a grocery store, said he was real hungry; I was in school and could barely afford to pay attention, into the grocery I went, bought some oranges, bananas, maybe some brown rice, just whatever I could purchase on the meager cash in my pocket. I come out the store, the guy is still sitting there, I smiled big, offered him a banana. He was like "Oh no, I need some money to buy a sandwich" I laughed at him, called him a piece of shit, which he surely was, hopped back into the pickup and headed to school.
posted by dancestoblue at 11:46 AM on February 20, 2023 [1 favorite]


> LIYL BIG. FUCKEN. RIFFS.

Man, Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs are touring in the US this spring, I got tickets, and I am psyched. Now if only Gnod would make it to this side of the pond...
posted by ASF Tod und Schwerkraft at 11:54 AM on February 20, 2023


This week somebody attacked our college community with a phishing scam,

I am two weeks into a new job that I love as a tutor in the Learning Center at our local community college. I had to do about a thousand online trainings, and they included some really surprisingly good trainings on gender and pronoun use; accessibility; and, also, recognizing and avoiding scams. I was impressed.
posted by Well I never at 11:57 AM on February 20, 2023 [3 favorites]


Someone hit me with the "we got some cheap printer cartridges" scam when I was new in my community college librarian job. I am usually very good about recognizing scams, but this time... I genuinely didn't even realize until I was off the phone that it wasn't one of our own IT people just giving me a heads-up about a supply chain change. Fortunately, my college never pays for anything that hasn't properly gone through the (painful, complicated) procurement process, so... no harm done, I think!
posted by Jeanne at 12:02 PM on February 20, 2023 [1 favorite]


A couple years ago my wife and I had a meeting in a 'nice' part of town. We had a little time to kill beforehand and went to 'the' bookstore over there and then headed to our appointment. Just up the block from where we were headed there's a clutch of small, tasteful restaurants. And standing in front of one was a young guy in an OK suit, not an amazing suit but a really OK suit. He was standing there and had his car keys in one hand and frantically patting down his pockets. The keys had a Porsche fob. You could tell. As we came up to him he looked at us, as though surprised and a bit annoyed and a bit put out and said, "Hey, guys, can you do me a solid? I've done a stupid thing and left wallet somewhere. Honestly, I got a little drunk last night. I have to get my car out of the garage." Here he winced, "It's 15 euro. Which is a hell of a lot just to park over night, right? Christ. What am I going to do though?" He gave a slightly abashed smile now. My wife dug out her wallet and had only a ten, "Sorry, it's all I have." He looked genuinely grateful, "Oh, that's brilliant, actually. Thank you. Thanks."

He left him bemused.
Of course a couple days later I was, unexpectedly, back in the neighbourhood a couple streets over and saw him, same really OK suit, same slightly-harried demeanour, loitering in front of a different clutch of charming little restaurants. I mean, I had to smile. It was totally worth the price of admission - he did a great job. We chatted about his fictional predicament off and on for the rest of the day and now I would have another chapter to regale my beloved with. I mean, it was almost like running into a talented busker.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:03 PM on February 20, 2023 [7 favorites]


My pain today is a client that may or may not want us to do a presentation this week, but won't say for sure so we have to develop one just in case. Oh and they're closed for the holiday so no chance of finding out today.

If I do leave this industry it will be 100% because of bullshit like this from clients. It just wears you down.
posted by emjaybee at 12:09 PM on February 20, 2023 [2 favorites]


I haven't been to a concert in over a year but my friend got tickets for Clown Core this past weekend so I went. It blew my mind. The first half hour or so was just weird ambient music while a guy in a ski mask sat motionless on stage. Then they tore down the tarp that was up there to reveal a giant porta potty with the two members inside dressed in scary clown outfits and the next hour was full electro dance bebop with an overwhelming visual screen flashing images and warnings. By the end I had to catch my breath. So glad I went
posted by downtohisturtles at 12:23 PM on February 20, 2023 [5 favorites]


thankfully not MetFilter: a giant porta potty with the two members inside dressed in scary clown outfits.

(That show sounds wild and weird. Glad you had fun!)
posted by wenestvedt at 1:02 PM on February 20, 2023 [1 favorite]


Came to this thread thinking that the free "pain" was going to be a bread recipe. Sigh...
posted by The Ardship of Cambry at 1:15 PM on February 20, 2023 [3 favorites]


Took a bit of a vacation, (well am trying to) from Chicago to Louisiana. Car went caput outside of Champaign (just 2.5ish hours from home!) The clutch failed rather specaturally and required a tow. This car is a 2020 with only 35000 miles on it. We weregiven a $3000 estimate from the dealership. After resigning most of our current emergency fund we did some googling and found that there was in fact a warranty notice for this because of some manufacturing defect. We carefully pointed this out so the clutch was free. So we were only out a 30 mile tow and the two day hotel stay 2.5 hours from home, and a rental car. We could have gone back to Chicago but the whole point was to get to Louisiana. Daughter was pretty thrilled to ride in a tow truck though.

On the bright side we did make a parade here in this local town that's not new Orleans, and I caught a literal 4 foot narwal plushie. My daughter is most pleased but I'm afraid at four it has completely skewed her expectation for parades. I don't know how they had it on the float because it is huge. For reference it's this one

It is exhausting being in Louisana though, and I'm so glad to be returning at the end of the week. I wouldn't have come aside from some family things that I needed to do, and I just want to eat some crawfish and get out of this place.
posted by AlexiaSky at 1:44 PM on February 20, 2023 [7 favorites]


And standing in front of one was a young guy in an OK suit, not an amazing suit but a really OK suit. He was standing there and had his car keys in one hand and frantically patting down his pockets. The keys had a Porsche fob. You could tell.

Ohhhh, I've encountered his counterpart in Atlanta.

Anyway, my pain is the physical kind, I'm afraid. Not really bad, yet, but a bit worse than it was just a few years ago. Before I bite the bullet and make an appointment to see a rheumatologist, I'm going to try alleviating it through careful exercise; this book, Build From Broken, seems promising, and although some of the exercises seem CrossFit-adjacent, it's not culty like a lot of CF stuff seems to me. The initial outlay of equipment is pretty modest--some of those stretchy exercise bands and something called a "plyo box"--and I had fun putting the box together since it came in a flat-pack. If the program doesn't work out, I can always stack stuff on the box. (Some time ago, I was looking at treadmills on Amazon, and one of the questions for a particularly nice model involved how many coats you could throw over it when, not if, you gave up on it.)
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:00 PM on February 20, 2023 [2 favorites]


> As we came up to him he looked at us, as though surprised and a bit annoyed and a bit put out and said, "Hey, guys, can you do me a solid? I've done a stupid thing and left wallet somewhere..."

This scam has been practiced at least long enough for Saki to have written a short story around it more than 100 years ago. (And though I have no older citations at hand, I'm sure variations of it probably go back centuries before that..)
"You don't seem in a very good temper," said Gortsby, judging that he was expected to take due notice of the demonstration.

The young man turned to him with a look of disarming frankness which put him instantly on his guard.

"You wouldn't be in a good temper if you were in the fix I'm in," he said; "I've done the silliest thing I've ever done in my life."

"Yes?" said Gortsby dispassionately.

"Came up this afternoon, meaning to stay at the Patagonian Hotel in Berkshire Square," continued the young man; "when I got there I found it had been pulled down some weeks ago and a cinema theatre run up on the site. The taxi driver recommended me to another hotel some way off and I went there. I just sent a letter to my people, giving them the address, and then I went out to buy some soap — I'd forgotten to pack any and I hate using hotel soap. Then I strolled about a bit, had a drink at a bar and looked at the shops, and when I came to turn my steps back to the hotel I suddenly realised that I didn't remember its name or even what street it was in. There's a nice predicament for a fellow who hasn't any friends or connections in London! Of course I can wire to my people for the address, but they won't have got my letter till to-morrow; meantime I'm without any money, came out with about a shilling on me, which went in buying the soap and getting the drink, and here I am, wandering about with twopence in my pocket and nowhere to go for the night."
posted by Nerd of the North at 2:27 PM on February 20, 2023 [5 favorites]


dancestoblue: if someone is asking for cash, your choice is to either give them cash or not.

Don't offer them a banana, and don't call them a piece of shit (really?!) for refusing said banana.

(I understand the "hungry" thing can be confusing, but still: if someone wants a banana, they would ask for a banana; if they are asking for cash it's because they want cash.)
posted by splitpeasoup at 3:55 PM on February 20, 2023 [3 favorites]


I upgraded our mattress pad today to a higher end one with that comes with a washable cover. So I vacuumed my mattress since the old memory foam with bogus cooling holes had somehow collected lint from linen bedsheets and deposited it on the mattress. So here is advice if you are considering buying a mattress pad - get one with a washable cover that will block this migration. I am fully expect to have DOMS arms tomorrow because that was hardcore vacuum work.
posted by srboisvert at 5:04 PM on February 20, 2023


Hello splitpeasoup --

You do it your way, I did it mine. And yes, really -- a piece of shit. He way lying like the rug here on my floor, I'd bet dollars to dimes he wanted a drink. Which, hey, I've been thirsty. If he'd have asked for money to buy a beer I'd have smiled nice and on my way. But he said he was really hungry. A person who is really hungry would be glad for an orange or a banana.

I learned "a piece of shit" from a woman I'd dated, she'd become an ADA in Morgenthus shop in NYC, and she learned an entirely new vernacular from the detectives she was soon hanging out with. It was interesting, and fun, to witness and hear that change. She's now a judge, yet another smile -- Beth was a trip, and I'm sure she still is.
And I bet in her chambers she'd still call people as she saw them.
posted by dancestoblue at 5:16 PM on February 20, 2023 [1 favorite]


Often, in a free thread, in a little semi-social space such as this, I try to keep things relatively warm, if not light, and avuncular in tone. Indulge me a moment, though, for I have been very close with pain, lately.

Many of us are no strangers to chronic pain, especially among those of us who linger here to enjoy the site together. Not all of us are young, nor healthy, nor strong. No doubt quite a few of us could share stories, not all of them triumphant or inspirational.

As some may know, I recently traveled in a sort of once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, but with a very broken foot. Many people about my age break their foot in this certain way and I've been told it's an incredibly common injury for men in particular of a certain age.

Given what MetaFilter's like sometimes, an actual podiatrist is likely to swing by now and tell me how dead common those type 1's of the fifth metatarsal are. Just as likely, they'd come along and tell us how dead common it is -- at my age -- for the fracture to be nonunion. That is to say, how common it is for the fracture not to join back up, as mine didn't.

I've been walking on the thing, with various degrees of mobility aid, assistive device, protective thingy, since early December. The problem is, none of those devices, thingies, or aids quite... fit? Work? Help? I have a wonky foot shape, a wonky gait, there are more things wrong than the lady on the video call thought were wrong. The rad report didn't see the soft tissue damage. The compensatory damage has racked up. Plus I was on the road for 6 weeks.

Anyway, I've more or less had to pound an unreal constancy of NSAIDs, acetaminophen, and stockpiled gabapentin, every 6 to 7 hours, to stay functional for the last 13 weeks. If I do not do this, if I'm an hourish over the limit or I pushed myself a little too hard by walking three blocks instead of two, keeping The Boot on an extra 20 minutes, walking upstairs once too many times, I instantly become an intensely obnoxious asshole.

I do not like this.

If I go lie down for a few minutes, if I put the Old People Smelling Goo on it or even just put a pillow under the thing and rest, I fall asleep for an hour. Any moment where I am not in intense pain, I am in a pretty good amount of pain. When I'm not in pain, I instantly fall asleep.

I do not like that I must constantly, in every moment, at all times, second to second, measure and monitor my effort expenditure to be certain that I do not bottom out and become a horrible human being. It's a massive cognitive load to avoid the unthinkable. The very idea that merely having a handful of nerves stimulated the wrong way for a few months can make me lash out at people I like very much feels Incredibly Wrong. Worldbreaking. I do not like that either.

I do not envy those who live this way long term. Merely visiting this space for a few months has been an astonishing time of learning.

This pain, I have been too close with it.
posted by majick at 5:25 PM on February 20, 2023 [22 favorites]


Please enjoy your free thread, and all the pain we bring you.

Sooooo, you're saying you have such sights to show us?

Came to this thread thinking that the free "pain" was going to be a bread recipe. Sigh...

From the grim depths of the far future, I present unto you a gift. From my vantage in 2100 it is so rare, so impossible to make, that it is a profound gift suited only for the five or six greatest remaining kings of Europe. Make it with care, for those of us who are left can only dream of it; I am told the God King of Luzerne traded Brienzer Rothorn itself for a single basket.
posted by aramaic at 5:37 PM on February 20, 2023 [5 favorites]


I saw the orthopedist today to get a steroid injection in my shoulder. Today's x-rays showed progression of the arthritis. I can keep getting the shots as long as they keep working. The last one lasted a year. But a shoulder replacement is in my future eventually. He also commented on how I was kinda young to get it replaced now. No shit Sherlock. Crossing my finger that this shot lasts a year.
posted by kathrynm at 5:48 PM on February 20, 2023 [2 favorites]


something as major as a shoulder replacement is going to be easier to recover from the younger you are

My mother would like to pop in to tell you the same thing. Her doctors finally bullied her into a knee replacement for the same reason, and as soon as she healed she was going around shouting "OMG why did I not do this earlier!"
posted by aramaic at 6:21 PM on February 20, 2023 [3 favorites]


Nerd of the North: that is fantastic! There really is nothing new under the sun - it’s a touch eerie, a hundred plus years later and the patter is the same (and in Hamburg-inflected German!)

Warms my heart.
posted by From Bklyn at 10:40 PM on February 20, 2023 [3 favorites]


I saw the orthopedist today to get a steroid injection in my shoulder.

I am in to see my GP this week about an ongoing low-level pain in one shoulder. My wife thinks it is caused by my using a walking stick, that I have repetitive strain injury (after about a decade of using the stick); for my own part, I reckon as I am not going to see fifty again, this might just be my first incidence of arthritis.

I called my GP’s office a week or two back and got referred for bloodwork, x-rays and ultrasound before I visit. The first two were unremarkable but the ultrasound technician had a very set scenario in her head for my backstory before I arrived. Her opening line, as she was setting up the machine:

“So how did you hurt your shoulder?”

“I’m not sure. It’s been giving me a bit of pain for six months or so.”

“So you fell?”

“Er, no.” (Thinking back to the time I slipped on some ice like three winters ago without apparent injury.)

“When did you fall?”

“I... I don’t think I did.”

“What caused the fall?”

“Again, this is so far as I know not the result of a fall.”

“So you can’t remember when you fell?”

It continued in this vein for some time. I gather she eventually concluded by thinking that I was suffering from dementia, or possibly I had acquired a brain injury in my mysterious fall.

I get irked by people treating their own ex nihilo guesses as fact and working from there when they are just randos in a comments section. When it is a medical professional looking after you, it’s much higher stakes.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:11 PM on February 21, 2023 [5 favorites]


We have decided that we will be celebrating my milestone birthday in Seattle. I poked around the some of the travel aggregators this morning looking for hotels with suites. We don't need anything elaborate, literally something with a couch and a door between the living area and bedroom will do so kiddo feels like he has a bit of privacy of the evening.

I'm already out of patience sorting through pages of listings since "room type" is not a filter. I'm not interested in renting via Airbnb or VRBO, because that leads to the slippery slope of having to cook TO! SAVE! MONEY! and worry about keeping the space clean and it is my damn vacation - the point is to take a break from the mental load. (Also living across from the asshat neighbor who listed his home on all the vacation rental sites was an absolute shit show for the neighborhood for several years and I am very disinclined to reward those sites with my dollars).
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 4:40 AM on February 22, 2023 [1 favorite]


Does anyone else watch that TikTok where God creates dogs? It's strangely addictive. I can't link because I don't understand TikTok. I am old. There's another one I can't not watch, but I'm not going to describe it because it is objectively horrible. TikTok is like a bag of chips that you don't really like but eat every last crumb of all the same.
posted by mumimor at 1:30 PM on February 22, 2023


In Canada, I have watched three Conservative Party leaders in a row lose to the Liberal PM, Justin Trudeau (who is at best a major disappointment, I'd say). The Tories here have doggedly maintained a long-term strategy for choosing leaders which has not borne fruit yet.

I have been reminded, though, that the Tories here are a mere pale imitation of those in the Mother of All Parliaments, the UK House of Commons. A couple of weeks ago the new Vice-Chair of the UK party, Lee Anderson, voiced his pro-capital punishment views, saying, “Nobody has ever committed a crime after being executed. You know that, don’t you? One hundred per cent success rate.”

Less an argument for capital punishment and more for universal genocide, some might say. If the entire human race were wiped out, there would certainly be fewer protests blocking the traffic.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 2:09 PM on February 22, 2023


I have not seen God creating dogs, although I also find these things (YouTube shorts, for me) unpleasantly more-ish and I would have thought I'd been shown three of everything.

The only good bit was a run of a lesbian shearer in ?Texas? shearing problem fleeces and explaining what she was doing and complimenting the animals.
posted by clew at 4:41 PM on February 22, 2023 [1 favorite]


The snow has begun. NWS forecast is for minimal accumulation tonight, then 30 inches in 18 hours tomorrow. That will significantly exceed any of our last eleven seasonal totals, which means we don't have the fleet of trucks and drivers to clear it. Another 39 inches are forecast the first part of next week on top of whatever remains. May the minimum of pain befall my fellow sufferers, and may fortitude endure with us all.
posted by backwoods at 7:36 PM on February 22, 2023 [1 favorite]


....I woke up at 5 am on Tuesday so I could get to work in time to fetch two mail-ordered King Cakes from the company kitchen freezer so they had long enough to thaw. Spent the day at work blasting New Orleans Jazz, handing out the occasional beads and giving little tokens to the two guys from the shop floor that got the slices with the baby in them. Then I went to check out this PHENOMENAL Cajun place that's only a few years old, and this time I got the King Cake baby; the real prize was the gumbo.

...But it was a Cajun place and it was Mardi Gras and so it had been a 90 minute wait for a seat. WORTH IT, but I didn't get home until 10:30.

Hoo boy was I dragging today.

...Also I am a bit at a loss about Saturday - it's my birthday and I had planned to visit New York's Botanic Garden for the day, but the weather is supposed to be unexpectedly cold and I'm trying to think of something indoors to do instead. Something solitary but indulgent.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:41 PM on February 22, 2023


hippybear, I have no clue yet, but your information is gold.

I've never been to Seattle and spouse's last visit was over 20 years ago. I'm not too fussed about the expense, since it will be for my milestone birthday. I tend to book centrally for a first visit to anyplace new.

I think this may warrant an Ask, so I can also figure out Things To Do that will keep a 13 year old entertained.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 6:26 AM on February 23, 2023


Me: Help me find new music, Metafilter, this is a time of unprecedented quantity and creativity

Also me: putting on my latest 80s playlist every day and singing "Beverly, Beverly, Beverly Hillbillies" to the end of "Money for Nothing"
posted by Countess Elena at 8:09 AM on February 23, 2023


Well I've managed to rather quickly plan a lovely Plan B Birthday outing for myself!

I was seduced by the warm spell we've been having and thought it'd be an excuse to get up to the New York Botanic Garden. That'd be an all-day trip pretty much, getting from Brooklyn to the Bronx and back. But the weather is due to be pretty icky.

So I thought maybe a museum of sorts. Took a quick look at a list of what was on at the various museums - and was reminded that hey, there's an Edward Hopper exhibit still running at The Whitney. That would be way easier to get to. And the neighborhood around it has copious little shops and restaurants, so...I'm now looking at a lovely brunch at a French bistro, a stroll around until my ticket time, then hit up the Hopper exhibit and then pick up a steak pie at Myers of Keswick to bring home and reheat for a lazy dinner.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:59 AM on February 23, 2023 [2 favorites]


And the neighborhood around [an Edward Hopper exhibit] has copious little shops and restaurants

Seems like a diner would be most appropriate.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:56 AM on February 23, 2023 [3 favorites]


In my continuing medical saga, I saw my PCP on Tuesday. My BP was 80/40-somthing. Now I run low. Usually slightly below 90/60. I've had orthostatic hypotension for years. But that reading had him concerned. Now I'm scheduled to get an echocardiogram. And I'm on a new med to raise my BP. For funsies I should take it to see what it is now that I've taken a couple doses. All I know is that I feel more clear headed than I have in a long time, and my fingers aren't on the verge of falling off from cold.
posted by kathrynm at 11:13 AM on February 23, 2023 [1 favorite]


Ugh ugh ugh.
Moldova dismissed an accusation by Russia's defence ministry on Thursday that Ukraine planned to invade the breakaway Moldovan region of Transdniestria after staging a false flag operation, and called for calm.

The Russian news agency RIA said Ukraine, which borders Moldova, planned to stage an attack by purportedly Russian forces from Transdniestria as a pretext for the invasion. Russia keeps troops in the breakaway region.
I do not know what flavor of fuckery this is, exactly. Transnistria is the breakaway part of Moldova that wanted to secede and stay Russian-affiliated after the fall of the Iron Curtain. This was never recognized by the world at large, and at this point, Transnistria is an odd little ribbon of a place where Russian "peacekeeper" forces operate but almost no one recognizes it as an independent nation (not even the Russians, just a handful of other unrecognized ex-Soviet-affiliated states). UN states consider it part of Moldova, but in practical terms, it's a weird nowhereland where, should you cross the border, you will be detained for not having a visa with the Transnistrian government, which you could not get because no government has diplomatic relations with them, as they are not a recognized state. Basically, you just sit there until they get tired of you or someone lets you bribe your way out.

There are no circumstances at all under which Ukraine would divert forces from its homeland to attack this tiny, mostly worthless bit of territory. The Russians seem to be either a) trying to make Ukraine look like aggressors, to fit their overall narrative or b) planning to move into the territory themselves to try and box Ukraine in from another side. I honestly don't know enough to know which.

All I do know is that Comrade Doll was born in Romania and still has the bulk of her family there. And Romania is right next to Transnistria and I don't feel good about Putin also revoking the decree recognizing Moldovan sovereignty there.
President Vladimir Putin revoked on Tuesday a 2012 decree that in part underpinned Moldova's sovereignty in resolving the future of the Transdniestria region - a Moscow-backed separatist region which borders Ukraine and where Russia keeps troops.
This is all very weird.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:38 AM on February 23, 2023 [1 favorite]


For the whole beginning of the year, I've been behind with everything. My boss has been ill, so I got a lot of his stuff on my desk, and I have been ill, and so tired I just couldn't handle the work. But today I decided to get up to date for tomorrow's class, and I have been working on the computer from 8AM to 7PM. which has resulted in stomach ache and back pain to the extent that I have been worried something serious was going on.
But now, after a lovely cup of minestrone and a couple of paracetamol, I am feeling much better and ready to walk the dog and head to bed. It's been rough, but I am so happy to have caught up.
I've been watching ATK on YouTube while eating soup and just now I am starting on a video about land regeneration. The kids are having a good time in the kitchen. The dog is snoring -- I can watch a bit of video before we head out.
Life is OK. Not painless.
posted by mumimor at 12:46 PM on February 23, 2023


I live in a part of the world where there is a lot of opportunity to observe things that are strange (and sometimes wonderful.) One of the local winter phenomenon to which I'm not accustomed is needle ice.

Despite being in Alaska, our normal winter weather (thanks to a maritime climate and an ocean current that sweeps up the Pacific coast of North America) is more usually rainy than sub-freezing in this particular place.

When we do get freezing conditions, though, we often get some interesting frost and ice formations, thanks to the sudden switch from wet and rainy with one set of prevailing winds to clear and cold when a different front moves in. Needle ice is formed when sub-freezing air temperatures freeze water that is being squeezed out of water-laden soil or decaying wood. Sometimes it's not that noticeable but other times you can get a pretty large bank of hillside covered in extremely delicate ice crystals that look like something squeezed out of a PlayDoh Fun Factory..

Conditions today were pretty good in my side yard, yielding needle ice crystals that were 6-8" long.
posted by Nerd of the North at 5:11 PM on February 23, 2023 [6 favorites]


Wow, NotN, those are really beautiful.

Today, I had a nice task: to call people and tell them something that will make them happy. I was really tired after a long week when I started, but now I am happy too, and energized. It's worth remembering that one of the best ways to make yourself feel better is to make someone else feel better.
posted by mumimor at 7:56 AM on February 24, 2023


I had a dream last night where I was chatting with a friend, and he said he'd managed to somehow extract "pure" sugar from dirt. He gave me a handful of it, which looked like...finely sieved dirt, to be honest, but it did have a mild sweet flavor. I have not determined the meaning or import of this.

In the other dream I recall from last night, I'm in a webconference watching someone else give their presentation and I'm responding quietly to myself - "yeah ... right, good ... uh-huh ... (sniff, clear throat) ... yep absolutely" etc. - for quite some time before I realize I'm not muted. That one I assume was just standard everyday social anxiety.

---

It snowed here Wednesday afternoon/evening, my neighborhood got around 5 inches of it. Since I WFH I can just enjoy it from indoors without having to deal with unplowed roads...but the hedge in front of my apartment building is very unhappy about it. The temperature yesterday and today hasn't gotten above freezing, so the branches remain bowed over. Tomorrow's forecast is for a high of 40 but then we'll get more snow Saturday night through Monday morning. I'm concerned that a lot of those branches are going to stay like that even after the snow is gone, and will end up needing to be trimmed off. I dread losing that little bit of visual buffer between me and the busy residential through-street.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:56 AM on February 24, 2023 [1 favorite]


You know you can shake it off with a tug or two on those branches, yes?
posted by Nerd of the North at 10:15 AM on February 24, 2023 [1 favorite]


You know you can shake it off with a tug or two on those branches, yes?

The lower ones that I can reach, sure. But most of them are a good 12' off the ground and I, as an apartment dweller, don't own a ladder.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:47 AM on February 24, 2023 [1 favorite]


There's also a certain amount of "yard maintenance is the landlord's job" resistance, which has the weight of some history behind it (including but definitely not limited to "not having kept the hedge trimmed so the branches didn't get so long and gangly in the first place").
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:53 AM on February 24, 2023 [1 favorite]


Okay, but: if you want the hedge unbroken, and you know the landlord won’t fix it… and likewise, so these are normally too high for you to poke with a broom handle, but they’ve bowed over…

You’ll get snow all down your back, you’ll look slightly loony, it will take maybe ten minutes, and then you can go back in and warm up in dry clothes and a righteous glow.
posted by clew at 11:17 AM on February 24, 2023 [1 favorite]


Me, work?!? Much more fun just to fret about it on Metafilter.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:43 AM on February 24, 2023 [1 favorite]


Welp, I got a big accomplishment done at work today. I wish it would count towards I dunno, anything with regards to how my job insists on seeing me through poo-colored glasses, but it's pretty awesome to manage to finish it the day before the deadline. I note that the deadlines ahead of this got SUPER PUSHED BACK so we essentially had to get shit done in like, a DAY, and other offices actually worked on doing their bits quickly as well.

I am very tired now (also been up since 4 a.m.).
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:57 AM on February 24, 2023 [2 favorites]


Middle plan, open a window and throw things at it.
posted by clew at 4:00 PM on February 24, 2023 [1 favorite]


Speaking of throwing things, in a completely different context...

The rest of the video looks juvenile, but the sound of this 30 seconds starting at ~13:20 makes me laugh. The timing of the "coda" at the end is exquisite.

(Add a tuba player and a braying donkey (and maybe a cat) and it would fit right into a cartoon)
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:27 PM on February 24, 2023


Feral cat colony update:

At my wit's end, out of desperation, I sent up the cat signal. And it was answered by a mighty hunter.

Because I just couldn't get any of my cats to go into the traps that were provided by the local animal care center. And I couldn't just let the cats remain un-spayed/neutered. I realized that I was in need of expertise, so I called a friend, and she knew a mighty cat hunter.

Wendy gave me strict instructions to not feed my cats the night before, and then she arrived yesterday morning, bearing a drop trap and cans of tuna fish. Within an hour she'd caught Tom Jones (whiter than the other cats, tends to sing) and then, shockingly, Tom Jones' lookalike, Steve McCoy (noted Tom Jones impersonator).

That evening she came over again, and it took about two hours but we finally captured Luna, the most elusive of cats.

My colony as it currently stands is 100% spayed/neutered. It's such an incredible load off my mind. I'm so grateful to Wendy, who's like a cat Avenger. She was so ridiculously good at this, she was able to predict when we would catch each cat to the minute. It was truly awe inspiring.
posted by MrVisible at 4:55 PM on February 24, 2023 [3 favorites]


MrVisible, that's wonderful!

There used to be a colony of cats living in the woods next to a convenience store near a Huddle House restaurant that we ate at nearly every night. There must have been well over a dozen of them, sometimes it was quite the gathering, while I'm sure it was a Songbird Death Zone it was nice, as a human person, to see them.

The cats disappeared after awhile, I think they may have been trapped and removed? Now those woods have been replaced by a hotel. Brunswick already has lots of hotels, they couldn't all be at full capacity even back then. I think the cats probably needed that land more than a developer did.
posted by JHarris at 11:42 PM on February 24, 2023 [1 favorite]


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