40 Years of Natty Novelties

June 2, 2023 5:08 AM

Archie McPhee, Seattle novelty store, wholesaler, manufacturer, and mail order purveyor of weird gifts, the "Outfitters of Popular Culture" with catalogs cool enough to be collected by the Smithsonian, sellers of rubber chickens and devil duckies, is 40 years old. The Seattle Times did a short piece on them and their history. Some of their catalogs are collected on their website. They got a blog, and a podcast called "Less Talk More Monkey" (iTunes, Google Play), which explains why, for awhile, PayPal wouldn't let them sell tardigrade-themed merchandise through their payment service.

A few things sold through their website currently: SANTAUR, gnome head squirrel feeders, plastic racing cats, bacon candy, tins of emergency googly eyes, yodeling pickles, and handerpants.

(They have not paid me for making this post or anything like that. I'm just really enthusiastic about them. Maybe you will be too.)

posted by JHarris (38 comments total)

Ah, here's a direct link to Catalog #1 from 40 years ago, which sold feathery flamingos, venetian glasses, glow-in-the-dark vinyl fish, squeaky dinosaurs, and a single mechanical Bozo the Clown for $6,775.
posted by JHarris at 5:15 AM on June 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

Purveyors of the original horse head mask!
posted by TedW at 5:23 AM on June 2, 2023 [3 favorites]

"Stress Tardigrade" sounds like a b-team action hero. Or a member of Buckaroo Banzai's crack team of rocket scientist rock stars.
posted by chavenet at 5:30 AM on June 2, 2023 [13 favorites]

I have bought so much from them over the years! Basically any time I'm looking in a box or a drawer or a closet, a rubber centipede falls on my head or I step on a go-go dancer action figure or something.
posted by cupcakeninja at 5:52 AM on June 2, 2023 [7 favorites]

"Emergency bigfoot, finger squirrels and yodeling pickle" will henceforth be my secret spy network codephrase for clansdestine park bench meetups. Totally innocuous unless you're one 'of us' of course.

Oh dear, I've said too much. Mr Dalliard, please fetch me the kerosene-powered amnesia-inducing testicle mini iron maiden, won't you? It's inside the *other* Lenin bust matroska, you remember, the one in the sub basement with the big-eyed impotent enraged expression like in his famous post-stroke wheelchair photograoh, there's a good chap.
posted by zaixfeep at 6:02 AM on June 2, 2023 [2 favorites]

They have made my contributions to Santa Swap parties so much better.
posted by emjaybee at 6:30 AM on June 2, 2023 [3 favorites]

Lots of nostalgic feels for Archie McPhee. It's one of the few "my old Seattle" institutions that's still around. The original store had the same feel as an army surplus shop but instead of military cast-offs the merchandise was sourced from a Roger Waters film production. It's still a stop for stocking stuffers when I go holiday shopping. Love to see them still going strong.
posted by calamari kid at 6:42 AM on June 2, 2023 [8 favorites]

One of the things I remember from Archie McPhee when I was a kid was that they had huge plastic tubs of action figures from David Lynch's Dune. I still mentally kick myself occasionally for thinking they looked gross instead of saving up to buy myself an army of Baron Harkonnens.
posted by charismatic megafauna at 6:56 AM on June 2, 2023 [8 favorites]

Purveyors of the original horse head mask!

No sir, I don't like it.
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 7:35 AM on June 2, 2023 [7 favorites]

I love the Santaur. "Now more muscular!" lol
posted by Well I never at 7:49 AM on June 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

Archie McPhee! When I was in college, I got some alligator shoes from them--they were rubber shoes in the shape of realistic alligators. I should look around and see if I still have them. Definitely a conversation piece!
posted by pangolin party at 8:21 AM on June 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

One day, in the first decade of the century, a coworker came to me with some random office toy/stress reliever. “Do you know where I can get stuff like this—though not necessarily exactly—for this meeting/give away we’re having.” Archie McPhee is exactly where I sent him.

I’ve been to their store twice, and always had fun just browsing. Now I need to hit their page again.
posted by MrGuilt at 8:32 AM on June 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

Huh! I guess I would have guessed they were older than that, since I first ran into them in the 80s and they seemed old-fashioned in a way even then.
posted by tavella at 9:11 AM on June 2, 2023 [7 favorites]

It’s definitely reminiscent of Johnson Smith Company, tavella , which only closed up shop and sold the name a few years ago, having been in business for over a century.
posted by dr_dank at 9:36 AM on June 2, 2023 [2 favorites]

One of the things I remember from Archie McPhee when I was a kid was that they had huge plastic tubs of action figures from David Lynch's Dune. I still mentally kick myself occasionally for thinking they looked gross instead of saving up to buy myself an army of Baron Harkonnens.

If they had had a figure of Sting as Feyd-Rautha in his V-shaped codpiece, I could have had it electroplated chrome and used it as a hood ornament.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:54 AM on June 2, 2023 [4 favorites]

Didn’t Feyd also have a concealed dagger in his belt that you could make swing out?
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 10:08 AM on June 2, 2023

No one has mentioned the Punching Nun yet? You clearly need one.
posted by tommasz at 11:31 AM on June 2, 2023 [6 favorites]

Didn’t Feyd also have a concealed dagger in his belt that you could make swing out?

That would be a great security feature, to keep people from stealing it!
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:49 AM on June 2, 2023

For my insane 30th Bday shindig, my ex and I decided to put together goodie bags of AM goodies for folks to take with them, I think I dropped somewhere around $1300 on a single order - thirty years ago. Those paper catalogs were prime throne reading. I think I need to get back on the mailing list. "Look, it's Sting!" Great post!
posted by dbiedny at 2:03 PM on June 2, 2023 [2 favorites]

Ah, it looks what I intended to be a link to a gnome-headed squirrel feeder in the FPP ended up being a link to a horse-headed squirrel feeder. They have a few differently-headed squirrel feeders. I picked gnome on a whim really, horse is okay too. We regret the misclassification.
posted by JHarris at 2:33 PM on June 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

Wait, so if Archie McFee is over in Fremont what's the novelty store that used to be (maybe still is?) just south of the ferry? I used to love that store with those paper rolls on a stick that you flick out and rubber chickens and rock bins. This would have been in the 80s.
posted by macfly at 4:14 PM on June 2, 2023

nothing was more satisfying than getting my first rubber chicken in the mail. it wasn't more than 8 hours till that chicken was eliciting shrieks throughout the land.

and the land was good.

til they overwound my clattering teeth.
posted by clavdivs at 4:51 PM on June 2, 2023 [2 favorites]

That was probably them, they used to be in Fremont! They've changed locations since then.

(Look at me, knowing the location history of a Seattle novelty store despite never having been to Washington.)
posted by JHarris at 5:02 PM on June 2, 2023

Wait, so if Archie McFee is over in Fremont what's the novelty store that used to be (maybe still is?) just south of the ferry? I used to love that store with those paper rolls on a stick that you flick out and rubber chickens and rock bins. This would have been in the 80s.

There used to be a really cool independent toy store in that area near Coleman Docks and Pioneer Square. I want to say it was downstairs in a semi-basement or half floor due to the hills kind of space. I'm pretty sure I remember having to go downstairs from sidewalk level.
posted by loquacious at 5:23 PM on June 2, 2023

Emergency bigfoot, finger squirrels and yodeling pickle

So much better than "correct horse battery staple"!
posted by wenestvedt at 6:36 PM on June 2, 2023 [4 favorites]

Metafilter: an army of Baron Harkonnens.
posted by theora55 at 6:39 PM on June 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

Magic Mouse Toys in Pioneer Square! It’s still there!
posted by skycrashesdown at 6:46 PM on June 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

I own a stress tardigrade and it's incredibly pleasant, splays your fingers out, big recommend
posted by taquito sunrise at 5:37 AM on June 3, 2023

I love that they still exist, I love going to the store, I love that a friend of mine worked there for years and she loved her job, I love the whimsy. But... I really don't like being given gifts from there. I never know what to do with them.

It sounds like other people do like getting gifts from there! I do not want to rain on anyone's parade! Keep on existing, Archie McPhee's.
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:18 PM on June 3, 2023 [4 favorites]

I kind of know what you mean, The corpse in the library? If you were given a gift of say, finger squirrels, it feels like you're expected to use them? Expressions of silliness and whimsy can be very personal, but being expected to participate in someone else's can feel like it's being inflicted upon you. In cases like yours it might be best to be given a gift certificate, maybe.
posted by JHarris at 5:33 PM on June 3, 2023 [3 favorites]

But... I really don't like being given gifts from there. I never know what to do with them.

Agreed. All the concepts are a hoot and perusing the site is diverting for a few minutes. But as enjoyable as getting one might momentarily be, in the long run 99% of the items would end up useless and forgotten, taking up space in a drawer or in a box shoved into the back of a closet. Then I'd feel guilty for not being "fun" enough to appreciate the long-term delight an amusing finger puppet could bring into my life.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:42 PM on June 3, 2023 [2 favorites]

But that's the case with nearly all gifts? Unless it has a direct use or is one of, practically speaking, a small number of objects of entertaining use. That's not a knock against Archie McPhee, but against the idea of fun gifts in general.

There's only so much time in a day, and only so many days in a life. In the end, entropy crushes all. We are all doomed. Ennui, ennui. But in the meantime, how about an inflatable party hat made for a cat?
posted by JHarris at 8:23 PM on June 3, 2023 [1 favorite]

I'll pass on the cat hat, but has anyone chanced to select "Shop By Theme" from the site menu?

RUBBER CHICKENS
BIGFOOT
UNICORN
CATS
HANDS
BIRDS
SQUIRRELS
BACON & MEAT
ZOMBIES & MONSTERS
PICKLES
UNDERPANTS
J.P. PATCHES*
CREEPY HORSE HEAD
RELIGION

...I can't decide if the juxtaposition of those topics is pure Dadaism or esoteric social commentary. Either way it's sheer entertainment!


*Apparently a local children's show clown character
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:08 PM on June 3, 2023 [2 favorites]

Yes, a couple of nights ago I dove for a bit down the J.P Patches rabbit-hole. There's a fansite, I think possibly put together by someone at Archie McPhee? One of the pages on it mentions the webmaster works there. It's a monument of love to a character who hasn't been on TV since the 80s. There's lots of those lost kids shows out there, a multitude of little Captains Kangaroo, that were made for local markets but now exist mostly in the memories of the kids who were in that region when they aired. One of them it seems works for Archie McPhee.
posted by JHarris at 5:17 AM on June 4, 2023

J.P. is iconic for many of us who grew up with the show. Even after he left the airwaves he would show up at music festivals and such through the 90s and early 2000s. I have a J.P. patch on my motorcycle jacket.
posted by calamari kid at 9:46 AM on June 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

It is thanks to Archie McPhee that my husband and I have a very useful piece of relationship-maintenance technology: the breakup bees.
posted by egypturnash at 10:06 AM on June 4, 2023 [5 favorites]

I was a IT tech at a high school when Katharine McPhee's first albums came out. I brought in a catalog and had students convinced that it was started by her father.
posted by Sophont at 4:05 PM on June 5, 2023

The breakup bees are awesome egypturnash!
posted by JHarris at 6:19 PM on June 5, 2023