Avast, ye MeFi mateys!!
September 20, 2002 12:45 PM   Subscribe

Avast, ye MeFi mateys!! I be Red Roger Rackham -- what be ye pirate name?? Nyar!!
posted by PeteyStock (86 comments total)
 
You may now call me "Dirty Jack Cash".

Arr, or something.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:51 PM on September 20, 2002


You may call me Dirty William Rackham, but I'd prefer that you didn't.

I told them I was clean, but at least I've been reunited with my long lost pirate brother, Red Rover--er, Roger.
posted by mikrophon at 12:53 PM on September 20, 2002


I be "Mad Roger Bonney!"

But you're name's not Roger

Mere oversight! Carry on with the Mad Roger-calling, or I'll un-buckle me swash!! Arr!
posted by me3dia at 12:54 PM on September 20, 2002


Dread Pirate Bonney, which reminds me of Bonnie Hunt. And I'm male.

Sigh.
posted by Tacodog at 12:58 PM on September 20, 2002


Mad Dog Rackham. And I thought I leaned towards couth.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 1:04 PM on September 20, 2002


"Bloody Jack Cash"

So, I'm related to mr_crash_davis how?
posted by gummi at 1:05 PM on September 20, 2002


On a related note, yesterday was National Speak Like A Pirate Day.
posted by macadamiaranch at 1:05 PM on September 20, 2002


Aargh! I be Dread Nameless Pirate, because the blamed form won't work for me. Methinks this website could use a more versatile rigging.
posted by smrtsch at 1:05 PM on September 20, 2002


Dar! There also be a day o' the year when talkin' like a pirate is the right and just thing to do! [via KFG and my matey from college, the Dougman]
posted by dayvin at 1:07 PM on September 20, 2002


Dirty Sam Vane

I sound like a hardboiled detective, not a pirate!

I mean...Shivver me timbers! Arrr!
posted by grum@work at 1:08 PM on September 20, 2002


Egads, macadamiaranch beat me to the punch!
posted by dayvin at 1:09 PM on September 20, 2002


'Iron Tom Bonney'
Yo HO HO ...
What exactly is a YO HO?
posted by mss at 1:12 PM on September 20, 2002


Black John Bonney, at y'r service!

Did you guys hear about the pirate movie?

It's rated "Arrrrrr!"
posted by starvingartist at 1:12 PM on September 20, 2002


ARR - I now go by the name of IRON ETHEL BONNEY !
posted by Woolcott'sKindredGal at 1:12 PM on September 20, 2002


Arrr, I be Iron Bess Bonney, scourge of Long Island Sound. Fear me cannons, mateys!
posted by meep at 1:13 PM on September 20, 2002


They call me Captain Davy Cash, a pleasure i'm sure. Now hoist the mizzenmast a'fore i make ye walk the plank!

It works better if you hold one eye shut I've noticed.
posted by Ynoxas at 1:19 PM on September 20, 2002


Iron Jack Flint
posted by corpse at 1:22 PM on September 20, 2002


How the hell am I supposed to scare anyone out of their treasure named, "Captain Davy Flint"

We got hosed Davy, we got hosed.....


I will try it again! Ar...Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum....
posted by szg8 at 1:23 PM on September 20, 2002


Professor, what's another word for Pirate's Treasure?
posted by Ufez Jones at 1:23 PM on September 20, 2002


""Bloody Jack Cash"

So, I'm related to mr_crash_davis how?"


You'd be me bloodier (but cleaner) brother. Avast!
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:24 PM on September 20, 2002


Black Harry Bonney. I prefer Vibrating Bum-Faced Goats.
posted by vbfg at 1:24 PM on September 20, 2002


Why do I have to be Mr. Pink?

Dirty Davy Kidd.

What's the deal with this Davy thing. There were no cool pirates named Davy.

I mean, other than Davy Jone's locker at the bottom of the pacific, who was there??
posted by szg8 at 1:27 PM on September 20, 2002


Iron Tom Flint, I'm a pirate of porno.....shiver me timbers, matee. O' rather shiver me titties....yes that was a boob.
posted by thomcatspike at 1:28 PM on September 20, 2002


Black James Kid,

Aaargh! I'm not attractive...
posted by Mushkelley at 1:29 PM on September 20, 2002


Q: what's a pirates favorite kind of socks?
A: arrrrrrrrrgyles!

sayeth Black Grace Rackham, dramamine queen of the high seas!
posted by brigita at 1:39 PM on September 20, 2002


Mad James Flint.

Pirate pimpin' in full effect
posted by dr_dank at 1:39 PM on September 20, 2002


Dirty Tom Kidd asks ye:

What do pirate unions resort to in difficult situations?

Binding ARRRRbritration! Ah ha! Ah ha! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA--

Please kill me.
posted by Skot at 1:45 PM on September 20, 2002


*kills Dirty Tom Kidd with a rusty scimitarrrr*
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:47 PM on September 20, 2002


Dread Pirate Flint -- as to why I have Pirate as a first name, I can't figure out...
posted by Jade Dragon at 1:50 PM on September 20, 2002


I be MAD WILLIAM BONNEY, which means I'm related to me3dia, tacodog, mss, starvingartist, vbfg, meep and Woolworth's -ooops- Woolcott'sKindredGal.
I tell ya, these Bonneys be multiplyin' like rabbits - or Bunneys!

Need an arrrr pun, quick:
What do pirates study in college?
Liberal Arrrrrrs!!!

The highlight of the pirate questionnaire was following up the "Parrots?" question with "Penguins?"
Umpteen years ago, I put together a "Computer Pirate" costume that included a pocket protector full of tiny toy swords, white shirt and socks, a black eye patch and, instead of a parrot on my shoulder, I had a penguin. And that was YEARS before Linux.
No wonder I'm Mad.
posted by wendell at 1:54 PM on September 20, 2002


Iron William Flint.

Not too bad.
posted by wklang at 1:54 PM on September 20, 2002


Arr, I be Mad Tom Flint, of the ever-expanding Flint family.

Ufez Jones: Professor, what's another word for Pirate's Treasure?

Well, I think it's 'booty'.
posted by moss at 1:59 PM on September 20, 2002


Iron Sam Cash, matey! Yarr!

Who's a pirate's favorite press secretary?

ARRRRRRRi Fleischer!
posted by Yelling At Nothing at 2:00 PM on September 20, 2002


Arrr! Mad Morty Roberts herrrre! (The dread Pirate even?).
posted by trox at 2:07 PM on September 20, 2002


Iron Grace Cash - i sound like a psychedelic country and western singer, geez. i mean, arrRrr...!
posted by t r a c y at 2:07 PM on September 20, 2002


From even the highest yard-arm in eve'r port o'call,
them what be dead or alive knows me as One-Eyed Jack th' Dalek-Lad,
a salty scurvy dog of the shores o' Skaro. Who among ye be willin' enough t'get drunk an' set sail wit me had best be akeen that I walks th' deck wit fear o' no man, tho' th' stairwell be a harsher ill...

An' ye, wendell, be it? Th' legacy o' th' silicon corsairs dates back to when th' Apple II was afloat...folks what had a shareware app known by 'Skeleton Key' t'would unlock copy-protected 5.25 inch boot floppies and plunder th' swag fer themselves an' crew alike. Such wasn't to th' liking o' the landlubbers, so th' trade were called 'puter piracy an' thus th' legend be born...

But arr, y'knew that, didn't ye?
posted by Smart Dalek at 2:13 PM on September 20, 2002


Mad Tom Bonney here. D'ye have any spare change?
posted by robself at 2:14 PM on September 20, 2002


Mad John Flint. Not to be confused with Mad James Flint, or any of the other venerable Flint clan.
posted by quarantine at 2:19 PM on September 20, 2002


Arch Stanton
posted by clavdivs at 2:35 PM on September 20, 2002


I am the dread pirate Roberts!

Red Davy Roberts to be precise!

Arrrrr! Avast ye swabs!
posted by TCMITS at 2:37 PM on September 20, 2002


Iron James Flint.

I am seriously considering changing my name to this. How good would that look on my credit card (that's assuming pirates can get credit cards).
posted by ciderwoman at 2:40 PM on September 20, 2002


Arrr, this be Mad Dog Flint. I'm mad, ye're mad - we're all mad here! If ye weren't mad, ye wouldn't be here! Arrr!

...Wait, that'd be Mad Cheshire Cat Flint. Eh, close enough.
posted by wanderingmind at 2:47 PM on September 20, 2002


I'm Captain Roger Rackham...all of us can now read this with authority. or something like that.
posted by peterkins at 2:48 PM on September 20, 2002


robself: I knew sooner or later one of my relatives would be asking for money.

Smart Dalek: In me old C:-drive farin' days I belonged to a Commodore Users Group that had one member in bad standing who proudly stripped the copy protection off everything he could find - he resembled the lead singer for Men At Work, but then, it WAS the 80's.
Let's face it, if they didn't expect to be Pirated, why did they call it Commodore?

t r a c y: A pirate named Grace?
I don't know what's worse, ending up in Davy Jones' Locker or Grace Jones' Car.

(better do another Arrrrrr pun, fast!)
What's a Pirate's favorite show on HBO?
Arrrrrrrliss. (I never said pirates had good taste)

Who will the Pirates root for in the big game, Navy or Arrrrrrmy?

(All this Arrrrrr-ing is clearing my lungs out better than my prescription inhaler: Arrrrrbuterol!)
posted by wendell at 2:50 PM on September 20, 2002


I'm Dread Pirate Vane, scourge of the seven Mineshafts!

arrrrr(cough, cough)rrrrr!!
posted by amberglow at 2:59 PM on September 20, 2002


In days of old, when ships were bold Just like the men who sailed them
And if they showed us disrespect we'd tie them up and flail them
Often men of low degree and often men of steel
Who'd make you walk the plank alone or haul you 'round the keel

Hoist the Jolly Roger!
Hoist the Jolly Roger!
Hoist the Jolly Roger!
It's your money that we want and your money we shall have!

Of all the pirates on the seas the worst of them was Blackbeard
So damnable a fiend from hell he was the one they most feared
Any man who sailed with him was taking quite a chance
He'd hang them from the gallows just to see if they could dance (ha! ha!)

Hoist the Jolly Roger!
Hoist the Jolly Roger!
Hoist the Jolly Roger!
It's your money that we want and your money we shall have!

[/Adam and the Ants moment]
posted by Kafkaesque at 3:18 PM on September 20, 2002


The page doesn't seem to work for me.
posted by BirdD0g at 3:25 PM on September 20, 2002


Iron Prudentilla Flint
what does this mean?
posted by Raichle at 3:36 PM on September 20, 2002


Raichle, it means there are an awful lot of us named "flint". Methinks we need a Flint Family pirate reunion! Bring on the wine and wenches! (And whatever the male version of a wench is, too!)

-Bloody Charity Flint
posted by ctartchick at 3:43 PM on September 20, 2002


while ye scurvy dogs be swabbing decks, Dirty Morty Cash be taking bets.
arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (wav).
posted by eddydamascene at 3:56 PM on September 20, 2002


another of the Rackham clan...Mad Charity be me name thar matey
posted by SweetIceT at 3:59 PM on September 20, 2002


Bloody Sam Kidd
posted by jewishbuddha at 4:29 PM on September 20, 2002


~shoots off her flintlock~

Iron Mary Cash! Glorious sister of Bloody and Dirty and Grace! And I only eat Arrrrrrtichokes. And now for a little ditty-- sing along you scabby barnacles!

In days of old when men were bold and condoms weren't invented,
They wrapped a sock around their c*ck,
And babies were prevented.

What exactly is a YO HO?
It's a chocolate cream-filled cake...No wait! That's a Ho Ho.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:34 PM on September 20, 2002


So, Dirty Tom Rackham walks into a bar with a steering wheel coming out of his flies.

The barman walks up to him and says, "What's going on? You've got a steering wheel coming out of your groin."

And Dirty Tom Rackham says, "Aaaarrr, it's driving me nuts."
posted by MUD at 4:50 PM on September 20, 2002


Iron Bess Cash, me buckoes, yet another dreaded money-mad Cash sister, an' don' none o' ye scurves be makin' off wi' tha' Arrrmagnac now, y'hear?
posted by casarkos at 4:54 PM on September 20, 2002


jewishbuddha and i must be related, for i am Bloody John Kidd!

[fear me]
posted by quin at 5:00 PM on September 20, 2002


Ahoy mateys and pass the grog to Iron Anne Kidd.......no, it just doesn't work. First off anne is such a dainty name and plus I sound like some sort of 70's jeans patch fanatic.

Oh, better far to live and die
Under the brave black flag I fly,
Than play a sanctimonious part
With a pirate head and a pirate heart.
Away to the cheating world go you,
Where pirates all are well-to-do;
But I'll be true to the song I sing,
And live and die a Pirate King.
For I am a Pirate King!
And it is, it is a glorious thing
To be a Pirate King!
Hurrah for the Pirate King.
posted by CunningLinguist at 5:18 PM on September 20, 2002


"Mad William Bonney," too.

I'd kind of hoped for "Li'l Pickles, Gentle Receiver of Pummels."
posted by merlinmann at 5:33 PM on September 20, 2002


captain john cash will have yer wife and yer booty!!!
or is that yer wife's booty?

walk the plank ya scurvy dog, she's fergot ya already!
posted by aiq at 5:41 PM on September 20, 2002


I piped my pirate name through the wu-tang name generator and then C.Y.B.O.R.G. and ended up with Mechanical Electronic Nocturnal Troubleshooting Android/Lifeform Limited to Infiltration and Scientific Troubleshooting. ar?
posted by eddydamascene at 5:48 PM on September 20, 2002


"Black Bess Flint" - man, we are one flinty bunch.

Metaflinter.
posted by boomchicka at 5:52 PM on September 20, 2002


Dirty Sam Flint, here. YARRRRRRRRR!
posted by Hildago at 6:15 PM on September 20, 2002


Ho Ho Ho and a bottle of screech!

I'se Dread Anne Hack! Fear me or throw me overboard! :)
posted by ericableu at 6:30 PM on September 20, 2002


I'm the real Iron Jack Flint! n' I'll be makin' a corpse out've any man 'oo claims the same! Avast yee! Yer less than rock and stones. (Speaking of Shakespeare.)
posted by jaronson at 7:36 PM on September 20, 2002


Dirty Tom Bonney : Dirty Tom Bonney here, where are al'o me sea'dogs?
Dirty Tom Bonney : Arrr matee, narry a warning light to be seen, clear sailin' ahead for our precious cargo.
Sailor: you mean the hot pants?
Dirty Tom Bonney : Aye, the hot pants.
posted by plemeljr at 8:48 PM on September 20, 2002


Mad Morty Bonney.

...'Morty'?
posted by Slithy_Tove at 9:15 PM on September 20, 2002


uh......Wulfgar!?
posted by Wulfgar! at 9:22 PM on September 20, 2002


Did you hear about the pirate movie that's coming out?
It's rated 'Arrrr....'
posted by crunchburger at 10:00 PM on September 20, 2002


Oh crap. Avast, I searched for 'pirate movie'. Did I mention that the movie...it vibrates!
posted by crunchburger at 10:03 PM on September 20, 2002


Arr, prepare to be pinswiggled, ye scamps! I be Mad Sam Read! Rum and sodomy be the order of th'day on me ship, so all ye matelots get below deck 'n prepare to get bilged on me anchor! Arr!
posted by evanizer at 10:17 PM on September 20, 2002


Arrrrrrr - I be Dirty Tom Rackham, ye swabs. And if it's any more Pirate humour ye be lookin' for, you'll have to go here for the sophisticated stuff. Shiver me timbers!
posted by yhbc at 10:20 PM on September 20, 2002


Heh. evanizer snuck in before I linked to that. Aye, 'tis a Nancy-boy he be. Arr.
posted by yhbc at 10:22 PM on September 20, 2002


Dread Pirate Kidd
posted by stbalbach at 10:55 PM on September 20, 2002


Where's Irontom in this thread?

btw: Blackbeard lives, and he has a pretty good website with a treasure chest of information, including pirate myths, information on pirate flags, and the pirate code of conduct.

Another interesting tidbit: the "dead man's chest" in the Yo Ho Ho song is an island in the Caribbean; this place, evidently.
posted by taz at 11:51 PM on September 20, 2002


These are my ubiquitous pirate jokes. I drag them out every time the subject comes up (which it does suprisingly often, come to think of it.).

Q. What's a pirate's favorite kind of sock?

A. Arrgyle.


Q. Did you hear about the sale at the pirate piercing shop?

A. A buck an ear.
posted by redsparkler at 12:54 AM on September 21, 2002


Mad Jack Bonney am I.

The Bonney family will crush you all!
posted by Neale at 3:05 AM on September 21, 2002


Pirates? In Sweden? That won't do. I think I'll find out what my viking name is...

...Jón Dogchaser

Erm, that won't do either.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 4:59 AM on September 21, 2002


Black Davy Bonney, be I.
Might an old seadog be sleepn' on yer couch between pilages, then, Neale?
Aaaar!
posted by dong_resin at 5:29 AM on September 21, 2002


Step aside for Calico Morgan Bonney ye black hearted scoundrels, for it would behove ye to remember that swashbuckling women be the scourge of the seven seas. Did ye hear tell of the scurvey dog who found a 40 carat emerald this ten days past ? Aye there's treasure to be found for them that looks.
posted by Tarrama at 5:45 AM on September 21, 2002


Ah, Tarrama... looking at the swashbuckling women reminded me of the single most essential pirate accessory: the puffy shirt.
posted by taz at 6:16 AM on September 21, 2002


yar. like lemmings to the sea be these mefilanders. yar.
posted by quonsar at 8:18 AM on September 21, 2002


Dirty Chastity Bonney....I'm so confused, arrr.
posted by littlegirlblue at 8:28 AM on September 21, 2002


Yar, I be the third Dirty Tom Rackham to come calling at this scurvy port.
posted by schmedeman at 9:00 AM on September 21, 2002


Thanks moss!
posted by Ufez Jones at 10:18 AM on September 21, 2002


Mad Jack Vane


Shiver me mad timbers!
posted by facapulco at 1:26 PM on September 21, 2002


Mad Grace Rackham.

Avast ye!
posted by eilatan at 6:21 AM on September 22, 2002


« Older   |   Robert (Willie) Pickton. Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments