Nobody should be forced to have pie in the face (free thread)
May 13, 2024 10:18 AM   Subscribe

Mostly I just saw two links about pie in the face and here they are. Ask A Manager is asked whether or not a manager HAS to have pie thrown in their face at work. "Under no reasonable definition does it fall within “other duties as assigned.” Judge John Hodgman was also asked in the NYT if someone has to keep pie-ing her husband in the face when he loves it, she doesn't. "Shoving a pie in someone’s face is assault, and you should not do it unless you are certain your partner is into it. Unfortunately, it turns out your husband is really into that pie, and he has unfairly transformed your revenge into his kink."

I guess if you have nothing else to talk about, talk about pies in the face, or other shocking revelations in your life. I have some of the latter going on a bit, so I wanted to start a free thread.
posted by jenfullmoon (114 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
Christ, what does he ask for on Father's Day?
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 10:20 AM on May 13 [2 favorites]

I'm afraid to ask.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:21 AM on May 13

Data point: Sometimes I like to put pie into my face.
posted by aubilenon at 10:21 AM on May 13 [6 favorites]

Oooh, pie.

But when I think of pie, inevitably this KITH sketch takes root in my mind (as it has done for decades).
posted by Kitteh at 10:23 AM on May 13 [1 favorite]

Better a pie than a punch, like what happened with Steve Buscemi.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:27 AM on May 13 [4 favorites]

My current favorite pie is this Smitten Kitchen key lime pie recipe, except using grapefruit instead of lime.

Do not make this pie if you just want to assault someone with pie, though. This one is for eating.
posted by nat at 10:32 AM on May 13 [14 favorites]

Amazing reveal in the final Graf of the Ask A Manager response demonstrating actual professional experience with pie throwing.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:34 AM on May 13 [12 favorites]

"When you die, if you get a choice between regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it’s not, mmmmmmm, boy!"
-Jack Handey
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 10:35 AM on May 13 [13 favorites]

Dish, jen!
posted by seanmpuckett at 10:39 AM on May 13 [2 favorites]

I will, seanmpuckett! I just wanted to start this because I need to update things:

Job situation: I got the final offer letter from the job I wanted and picked a start date of next Monday, and turned down the other one I did not want. I'm still waiting on other forms to be sent to me, not sure if tech failure has happened there or not. Meanwhile BUDGET CUT DOOM has been announced and I'm terrified that I'll get budget cut before I start or will get budget cut later because I'm starting in a new unit. I don't need this fear, y'all.

Meanwhile, I have supposedly been offered another reassignment interview at my current workplace for another job this week, but they haven't decided on when to have it yet because someone is in another country. I'll do it while I'm still here/as a backup for the aforementioned budget cut fear, but I reasonably assume they're going to deem me as Not Good Enough For Them Either, and that my candidacy will be thrown out once I resign. Or the job will be pulled for budget cuts. Or whatever. This field always finds me not good enough anyway.

I am going to resign (ASSUMING EVERYTHING ELSE GOES WELL) on Thursday since my supervisor is going to be out Friday, then say Friday is my last day and I'll be returning the computer equipment. No point in giving them further notice and if the job is pulled before then, then I won't do it and will stall until my job runs out. This whole thing makes me nervous and I do not want to talk to management again, but I feel required to give her a call since managers get 1000+ emails a day here and it may be overlooked.

This is my last home all week week, I'm going to try to sleep and enjoy it when I can.

Theater: My current show at Smaller Theater, Twelve Angry Jurors, opened this weekend and gets small audiences, but the people who saw it really liked it. Including my mom's boyfriend, who claimed to the director at intermission he had had a long drive and wine and was expecting to sleep through it (he kids), but instead was riveted. Theater people from other town, including a few from Musical Theater, came, which pleased me. We had flubbery up the wazoo on one filming night, sigh, but otherwise good.

I have started Little Mermaid rehearsals now. I'm considering auditioning for Something Rotten at a farther-off theater (so no clue on my odds) and for Romeo and Juliet at Smaller Theater. The issue with that one is I will have LM rehearsals for about a month after the R&J auditions, so I couldn't start for 4 weeks. Normally that would rule me out, but Smaller Theater is highly unlikely to get many people auditioning and the director is leaving the country for two weeks after the audition, and we spent all last summer acquiring castmates for Much Ado, so my joining late may not be a big issue. We'll see. I don't care what I'd do in it anyway, it's something to do.

And speaking of pies in the face:
Weird story #1: One castmate and I perform both at Smaller Theater and Musical Theater company, which is putting on shows at the same time as this one. Castmate spent some time setting up a "friends and family night" for anyone in the ongoing show if they wanted to watch ours on the last night of dress rehearsal and I guess she got 3-4 takers on her end.
Wednesday rehearsal was the first "you can't call for a line" one and with one older person it didn't go so well, as he was told to just pull out his script at one point because the section where he has to get up and monologue and fake stab someone is hard for him to remember it all. Now he's just going up there with his cue notebook, which seems to work.

On Thursday, none of the other theater people showed up and castmate seemed to vaguely imply they'd flaked out, and one person had a migraine. On Friday night, I found out castmate dis-invited them (she claimed that wasn't what she did, but um...sounds like she did) at the last minute on Thursday, saying we weren't ready. Upon talking to one of the invitees last night, um, no, there was no migraine and the invitee was very disappointed. I like this castmate, but I think what she did was pretty shitty because it means they can't see the show At All. There's nothing that can be done now other than my hitting up the director for a video of the show, and I normally like the castmate, but this is a giant WTF. It's theater people, if someone flubs in dress rehearsal, big damn deal. It just bugs me that she did that unilaterally and disappointed people.

Weird story #2: I have two theater friends who have been married for nearly 50 years, and I found out they are separated last night. I don't think this is public knowledge and they are still working together, but I think the wife thought I knew/suspected this and hoo boy, did I not suspect a thing. I'd asked why he wasn't around a few times because he has injury issues, and at one point I went to her place and he wasn't around, but I figured maybe he was asleep or something. She said it was his idea and he's moved out. This makes me terribly sad. I can't talk to anyone I know about it, obviously, but it makes me want to go waaaaaaah and "wtf, husband" and really hope things can be patched up before their 50th happens, because they apparently usually do a vow renewal ceremony every 10th and at that point, I think people will notice :/

Weird story #3: Not my biz really, but we have a Big Deal Local Columnist at the paper I used to work for yonks ago, and after a 55 year career he got canned out of the blue with little to no explanation. He said he was getting paid $26 an hour, and I bet a lot of people are going to quit their subscriptions in rage over this one. If this guy's $26 was breaking the bank for them, they are really in the toilet. They are also dropping down to two publication days a week, citing losing a lot of advertising because stores went out of business. I think it sounds like they're ending oh, very soon now. I loved that paper when I worked there, and even if I wasn't into that columnist, that really stinks. Obviously I'm glad I got out long before things really went to shit, but bleah, the state of news today.

Just wanted to talk about these things since I can't in my real life.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:47 AM on May 13 [21 favorites]

SpaceTime is an iron pie tin.
posted by effluvia at 10:48 AM on May 13

I'm back in Worcestershire for a while; partially in research mode, partially as I'm an (online) student again and it's easier here. And also hanging out with various druid, pagan, and school year friends.

I have not yet eaten a pie on this trip, but now you mention it, it's dinner time here, so ...

My photo album (contains two videos of a ferry trip) on Flickr for this season, which will grow. As can be seen there's no pie - though the cheesecake was really good.
posted by Wordshore at 11:13 AM on May 13 [1 favorite]

Steve Buscemi was attacked?! WTF, the guy's a saint — and difficult to mistake for someone else.
posted by Iris Gambol at 11:18 AM on May 13 [1 favorite]

Steve Buscemi was attacked?!

From the sound of it, it wasn't any intentional targeted thing - it was just some dude who has apparently been wandering around punching random people in the face.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:22 AM on May 13

oh my. pie.

many years ago I did a brief stint of phone sex. I decided to do BDSM (dominatrix) cause I thought it might be more entertaining...

so there was this one guy. he just wanted to talk. he would stay on the line with me for 30-45 minutes at a time, just telling me about his pie fetish, that his wife shared. so many stories and really a lot of um, intimate details. (I'll spare the group). they had a special shower installed, they liked to wear rubber. pie-ing was a major component of their sex life...

and then he told me the origin of the fetish was his MOM (a lesbian who only wore very expensive leather outfits) she'd been the 'girl' on a kids show back in the 60s and it was her role to always get a pie in the face. I could go on (I won't).

it got a lot more...detailed, from there...I loved it when he called because it was such easy money and so fascinating. I mean, he would ask me what I thought, was it fucked up? like I was his therapist.

I have no idea if a single word of it was true but you could say I ate out (!) on that one for a long time :D
posted by supermedusa at 11:25 AM on May 13 [13 favorites]

Saturday, early morning, a little after 2:30 AM, I heard a loud band and my power went out for 90 minutes. There were a bunch of sirens (mixed bag of police, fire and ambulance) and the helicopters came out. I knew pretty instantly that boded a bad night for someone and sat waiting in the dark hoping that I wasn't right. Without the sirens, etc, I would think a blown transformer, but with the sirens and a wide empty curvy street at that hour...

Of course, I was right. 6 young adults (17-22) crammed into a Tesla Model 3 going at least twice the speed limit hit a curb on the swerve - went through two light poles, a power pole (hence the outage) and took out the corner of a building. 3 of them died at the scene and the other 3 (including the sister of the deceased driver) are in critical condition at the hospital.

It's weighed heavily on me with it's senselessness. Couple of them were about to graduate PCC and just before Mothers' Day. Most youthful indiscretions, even major lapses in judgement (like driving a Tesla tipsy/drunk [beer found at the scene] at high speed near your home), result in embarrassment, this one extracted a much high toll and it seems mean.

I don't know if I'm always this prone to being maudlin about the ambivalent cruelty of the universe or if it's the recent turning of 50 has me being far more reflective.

But damnit those poor kids, their families and friends are going to be scarred forever. I'll bounce back from this sentimentality in a week or two before they repair the building and the obvious road scars are gone, but those poor people.
posted by drewbage1847 at 11:30 AM on May 13 [15 favorites]

This thread reminds me of this wonderful shirt from my very favorite queer fashion provocateurs, Lockwood51.

I did my very first century ride over the weekend. I spent several years doing half-centuries for funsies on the weekends, and I always assumed that a proper century couldn't be that much harder, right? My 47-year-old body said "LOL" to that notion, but I still finished, albeit embarrassingly close to last. Of course, by Sunday I'd signed up for a "metric century" a few weeks from now, because I have to get it all in before the Texas heat folds up my cycling until October or so. Then I have a few more planned for late fall (including another century), so hopefully I can stay in fighting shape through cross-training all summer.

Sadly, I have nothing to talk about but fitness lately, so my apologies.
posted by mykescipark at 11:34 AM on May 13 [3 favorites]

Supermedusa: you've reminded me of a story I've told about a college friend who was the switchboard operator for a phone sex line herself in the early 90s.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:42 AM on May 13 [2 favorites]

My partner is out of town on a business trip for another three weeks so I have the house to myself and that's a bit weird if you're unemployed. I don't have much of a community where I live and I'm not sure spending this much time alone is good for me.

My music teaching interview from last week's free thread got rescheduled for tomorrow, and I'm trying to not think about it at the moment because the person interviewing me is someone who went to a very fancy conservatory to study music and, as I did not, I'm trying to not be intimidated. But honestly most of his students in this class probably will not end up going to schools of the caliber that he did, and there should be room in this world for someone with my background to teach as well.

I have a software engineering interview later this week too. I was just so happy being a developer who was low on the food chain though. I didn't like having to go to more meetings, the more senior I got, and this opening is for a team lead which feels a bit out of my pay grade. I'm not qualified and I don't particularly want the responsibility. Also I've been unemployed for months and I imagine the shock of having to go back to not being totally in control of most of my time might kill me.

My parents moved out of the US about a decade ago and my dad still hasn't stopped making jokes about US politics but since he doesn't live here and those politics have no ramifications for him, I'm ready to give that relationship a bit of a rest. That's been tough because I always wanted, as a child, to grow up to be like him in many respects. He was charming and smart and funny and now he just sounds like an old, out of touch asshole. He was my greatest ally growing up, it's tough watching that change.
posted by wurl1tzer_c0 at 11:52 AM on May 13 [10 favorites]

I had my first mammogram last week since my cancer diagnosis last fall. I had been on an immune suppressant drug (one of the biologics that costs big bucks) for about a year and change before my diagnosis, and I now think my problem was my immune system went batshit because it was fighting off cancer.

My mammogram results came back with a new nodule, which is probably nothing because I have large tracts of land. I'm already scheduled for a follow-up. Tomorrow morning (Tuesday) I see my (new) rheumatologist; my previous doctor resigned in March. He was head of department at the med school associated with his practice and there was a shakeup in his school's management. The new guy wanted to bring in his own management, I guess. But now I'm coming off the last cancer thing, with a possible SECOND and UNRELATED cancer diagnosis, with a new rheumatologist who doesn't know me, to boot. It's a lot.

I should know early next month what's up with the chesticles and whether we have to proceed to a biopsy, but May is going to be a very long month.
posted by gentlyepigrams at 12:37 PM on May 13 [11 favorites]

beer found at the scene

I went to a little cafe yesterday and as I got out of my car I noticed an open can of beer in the driver's cupholder of the adjacent car. The guy came out of the adjacent bodega right then, another can of beer in his hand. I told him he was being idiotic but his brain was in a relaxed, happy place and I think my words slid off him.
posted by neuron at 12:45 PM on May 13 [2 favorites]

I've been fighting a 3D brain set (depression, dysphoria, and dysmorphia) this week again, along with a lot of pain in my semifunctional knee, the Hell that is my job hunt, the fact that without the money I'm not getting I can't pay for an editor or cover artist for my novel (and I don't want to use AI for the cover). It's just pulling me farther and farther down.

But today I started a course on Coursera to try and add some job skills, so maybe some education and adding to my skills might help with some of it.

Also making spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. That usually is nice.
posted by mephron at 12:51 PM on May 13 [5 favorites]

- I'm about halfway through reading Shogun and it's so, so great. The novel is a beast, 1500 pages. I started 5 weeks ago. It's been on my reading list for a few years since a friend read and recommended it. I'll watch the new (and perhaps the old) tv miniseries after I've finished the reading.

- We can't figure out whether our 15 year old cat Boo is having pain. He's been eating very little for about 3 months. The vet couldn't find anything wrong. She prescribed mirtazapine (antidepressant) which definitely improved his appetite but made him very constipated. Halving the dose made it ineffective. So we tried some buprenorphine (an opiate) left over from our other cat who died last year. It clearly makes him feel better but ... yep, constipated. So I've added Miralax and we're giving less buprenorphine and some of the dog's Rimadyl (like ibuprofen) with so far uncertain results. Boo would appreciate your thoughts and prayers. As would I. I'm hoping my fear of losing him doesn't become a selfish unwillingness to do what's best for him.
posted by neuron at 12:54 PM on May 13 [6 favorites]

drewbage agreed, that is just awful. so young to learn the harshest lesson.

posted by supermedusa at 12:54 PM on May 13 [1 favorite]

JFC my art sales are in the toilet. I feel like I'm doing my best work yet in general but it's just crickets except for the cheapest stuff. I suspect it's a combination of AI art making it easy for people to just fab decor that matches the couch, and corporate profit taking absorbing every last cent of disposable income lately. Part of my art practice is to please myself, but I also need positive feedback from an audience, and faves and boosts are nice but $$$ is the best compliment. I'm so frustrated and tired, I feel like giving up.
posted by seanmpuckett at 12:56 PM on May 13 [8 favorites]

I remember a Reddit thread somewhere where a wedding photographer who did an AMA said that their #1 rule-of-thumb for guessing whether a marriage would last was whether the bride and groom respected each other's rules on NOT plowing the wedding cake into their partner's face at the reception. They especially noted a case where the bride was explicitly saying "don't do it" and the groom's friends were making "whip noises" until the groom did it anyway, whereupon the bride gathered her family and left the reception. The photog was pretty sure the marriage ended then and there, as in the end, they weren't paid for the event but kept the deposit.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 1:23 PM on May 13 [14 favorites]

I was so excited last week: I brought home a rescue dog. I need a dog in my life, and my last dog died suddenly in December.

However after a few days I realized we were not a good fit because she could not be left alone for more than a few minutes: she got really distressed, barked, and was generally really unhappy. While I know there is treatment for separation anxiety, I am not in a good place to put in that kind of time and effort right now.

It's such a shame: she's a lovely, lovely dog, very sweet and gentle, and snuggly. But I have to be able to go to work, and to the store, and the gym, without her getting completely distraught.

So she went back to the foster, and I'm now second-guessing all my choices.

At least I will have my sister's old golden retriever with me for the next week. She requires very little other than food and room on the couch. So I will have company and no drama.
posted by suelac at 1:33 PM on May 13 [6 favorites]

went out to Innisfil to look for aurora. Found none but clouds. Dammit.

Still in a slightly mindblown state from OSHWA 2024 in Montreal two weekends ago. I think I got too many ideas at once. Either that, or too much smoked meat.
posted by scruss at 1:36 PM on May 13 [2 favorites]

Poor Boo! Constipation can really become an issue with elderly cats. It’s a common consequence of reduced kidney function. My cranky old lady Kim resisted and resented any kind of intervention. She was determined to go out on her own terms! We couldn’t even get her to take Miralax with baby food. Subcutaneous fluids? No fucking way.

I knew for ages that she’d be done when she couldn’t poop by herself anymore. And when she reached that point, she was obviously tired and it was time to let her rest.

But if Boo is the kind of cat who would tolerate sub-q fluids? It can be amazingly effective! If you think Boo would put up with it, ask your vet about it. It’s not that hard to do at home.
posted by notoriety public at 1:37 PM on May 13 [3 favorites]

Seconding suq-q's as a boon for elderly cats. My dear, grumpy, angry Rita let me wrap her up in a towel every morning, place her in the bathroom sink and run a dose of fluids into her for nearly 2 years before she finally was done with everything.
posted by drewbage1847 at 2:37 PM on May 13 [4 favorites]

Oh and while my treatment suggestions - if you have an older arthritic dog, look into Librela. It's a monthly shot of a monoclonal antibody treatment and it's given my ancient grumple butt a bit of his pep back in his step. Was just approved last year for this purpose and it's helping. He doesn't move like a puppy, but he moves more like he did when he was 14 instead of 19.
posted by drewbage1847 at 3:48 PM on May 13 [2 favorites]

neuron, best wishes to Boo from my 11-12-12-19 year olds. Also, tackling Shogun the novel; I wore out my copy and finally got a hardback edition, and also an early birthday present of the old series on blueray. I've been a huge fan for a long time, it does have problematic colonial tropes but it's so rich in characterization and culture. I've been following the link on fanfare for the new series which looks really great, but I'm reluctant to get another streaming service.
I'm in job limbo as well, I passed a background check but haven't heard anything since. So planning more wine dinners and garden work, trying to do work around the house that doesn't require another trip to the hardware store or contractor consult. I predict that one day my back porch will be entirely composed of heavy duty shower curtains, duct tape, 16g wire and carpet scraps, but it will hold its temperature.
posted by winesong at 3:51 PM on May 13 [4 favorites]

when my dad was attending university he shared lodging with 3 other guys, one of the guys was an unrepentant mooch who was constantly helping himself to everyone's food

dad would visit his aunt for a nice Sunday meal and usually return with leftovers, on one occasion (I mean, you can see this coming a mile away) he was given some nice pie, half a pie, to take back. I do not recall what kind of pie but quite possibly apple, thinking Nova Scotia where you can pick nice apples from the side of the road in some places

he knew the mooch would strike, so he cut out a generous piece when he got back to the apartment and painstakingly filled it with mustard, some shaving cream, probably some other stuff, and did it so a person wouldn't know with a quick visual inspection. sure enough the mooch came back and everyone--my dad, the other apartment mates--could hear him pawing over the contents of the fridge, dad must have embellished this because some of the details are way too comical (he could hear the guy's commentary, he had no shame about mooching and delighted in the food his roomies would bring back), so of course he grabs the slab of pie and fills his face with it. You can imagine any old Archie comic for the rest of the story, he gulped it down so fast and it took a moment to realize he'd eaten some pretty gross stuff. the mooch was quite cross about the whole business, he really thought dad's prank was "too much."

dad remembers stuffing his face with roadside apples all day as a kid, and getting such a terrible stomach ache he was put to bed early. his older brother took pains to mock him on his way to bed. dad woke up in the middle of the night and made it to the landing before violently vomiting all the apples on the hardwood landing, he was half-asleep and returned to bed, I guess my uncle woke up to pee and slipped and fell in the vomit
posted by elkevelvet at 3:57 PM on May 13 [5 favorites]

Yes, best wishes for Boo. We are dog people, but cats are so fun...

Last night, late night before Ms. Windo arrives with our now sophomore son, been gone for a week so lot's of things be to be cleaned... go to bed early. Like 10:30. And then, can't actually fall asleep. At 1AM, hear a dog about to barf. She does. Get the dogs outside. Barfer comes back in, other dog has her squeaky ball. Not coming in,

Eventually get squeaky-baller back in. 4:30 more barfing...

I need a nap...
posted by Windopaene at 4:02 PM on May 13 [2 favorites]

Naturally, and as usual, my deepest sympathies to hearts that grieve and best wishes for love and peace to those who struggle with THE WEIGHT.

Things are inexorably getting marginally worse day by day. This is taking its toll on those who will be left behind after the end. Which has put me in a position where I either accept the unacceptable or walk away. It wasn't great to begin with and feeling trapped is not making it better.
posted by ob1quixote at 4:06 PM on May 13 [6 favorites]

I am old enough, and wealthy enough, to I think I can make it to the end...

But my kids though? Harsh.
posted by Windopaene at 4:13 PM on May 13 [1 favorite]

Everyone congratulate me, I just bought a new hand-crank cast iron sewing machine from Singer India! I am very excited. Perhaps I am counting my chickens too soon, but I'm totally jazzed about it. My local sewing machine repair place went out of business and nobody else will fix my awful cheapass plastic machines that I keep killing through quilt-related abuse.

So I'm thinking a sewing machine made of metal that goes at a human speed and only does forward and reverse will be a big help. I do not use the X stitch or whatever the hell it is and already do my buttonholes by hand. I don't need a little computer for this, it just needs to sew a nicer straight stitch than I can. And it's great that it won't take up an outlet which I do not really have in my work space. Let's all hope it gets through customs in a timely fashion.
posted by blnkfrnk at 4:36 PM on May 13 [7 favorites]

hand crank? Surely foot pedal would have been better?
posted by hippybear at 4:39 PM on May 13

In my case, I don't have a place for the table it would require. But there is a way to convert this model later in life.
posted by blnkfrnk at 5:08 PM on May 13 [1 favorite]

seanmpuckett, your art is gorgeous. I know you can't eat on that but I took a spin through the links from your profile and was super impressed with your talent and skill.
posted by gentlyepigrams at 5:41 PM on May 13 [2 favorites]

Just a quick mention that seanmpuckett has a link in the MetaFilter Mall, which is one of the links at the top right of the webpage. I can't afford any art at the moment, but the MeFi Mall is an amazing place to do shopping if you have shopping to do.
posted by hippybear at 6:00 PM on May 13 [5 favorites]

very kind thank you!
posted by seanmpuckett at 6:04 PM on May 13 [1 favorite]

Ms. Windo buys all of our art. And I mostly like it. But we have no more wall space for an art.

And she an youngest child are about to come home from his first year in college. Gone for a week, so much cleaning to do. Not helped by the fact that even though I went to bed at like, 10:30 last night, could not fall asleep. Probably did, but was then woken up by the sound of a dog about to barf at 1AM.

She did. Let her and her sister out while I cleaned it up. Sister (Mab, Queen of the Fairy's) refused to come inside, because, well, she had her Squeekyball. Mab LOVES her squeeekyball. And knows I am no longer fast enough to catch her. So 30 minutes later I am able to lure her in with treats, and go back to bed.

Nope. 3AM and 4AM...

Three more barfs. No sleeping.
OTOH, partner and child are coming home soon!
posted by Windopaene at 7:11 PM on May 13 [1 favorite]

I was up at 1:30am with a need to shit. And again at 3:00am. And then around 4:30am. And maybe 8:30am, and after that began the vomiting... which was maybe 6 times across the day...

But doctors all tell me all the tests are normal and they can't be imaginative about other tests to run. And yet, this is a life that I'm living, and have been for years.

Why can't I get a physical to get curious about my condition and devote some attention to it? I spend a lot of time waving flags of "hey, this is weird, let's figure out it" in front of medical professionals, but I guess unless I find House MD it's just about the factory processing of patients for insurance payments.

If anyone has any advice for me, please share it. I'm desperate and eager. And on Medicaid with zero copay for now, so I can maybe get all the tests and referrals.
posted by hippybear at 7:34 PM on May 13 [2 favorites]
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:58 PM on May 13 [2 favorites]

Look for Undiagnosed Diseases Network, I meant to say before my interruption.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:39 PM on May 13 [2 favorites]

"Why can't I get a physician to get curious..."

typos suck.
posted by hippybear at 8:39 PM on May 13

I got advice, hippybear. Spend a few months removing various categories of foods from your diet completely for two-three weeks. Maybe start with the FODMAP diet, or completely eliminate gluten, or eliminate all brassicas (including mustard and canola oil). It took me six months to figure out what foods I couldn't happily eat. I'm a lot healthier now that I know, though.
posted by seanmpuckett at 6:17 AM on May 14

No pie, but this weekend was full of cake.

My mother-in-law turned 80 on the 2nd, which didn't fit into my family's schedule to travel from Minnesota to Wisconsin on her birthday, but this past weekend worked for us so sister-in-law planned a big party at the retirement home for her, and invited all her friends, both pre-retirement-home and ones she's made there.

Parties at the retirement home are a big deal, in a sort of "Mean Girls"-ish way. Not that anyone is really all that mean, but it can affect your social status if a party does not meet the attendees' expectations and take a while to live down a faux pas.

One warning is that there Must. Be. Enough. Cake. Shorting attendees of cake is anathema and would result in dropping down numerous rungs on the social ladder.

Sister-in-law recieved this warning, and bought enough cake to feed an army.

Attendees marveled at how great the party was (there was also a pasta lunch and a singer who did oldies and tried to get people to dance and sing along), but it meant there was still enough cake left over to feed half an army, so we did our best to leave Wisconsin with no cake left behind. Not complaining, but that means I ate a lot of cake.

Box wine is preferred by all the retirement home ladies; a white and a red were available, so one of my jobs was to stand by the box-of-wine-dispensary in order to assist with the poorly designed spigots, made without arthritic hands in mind. I caught one person and saved her because although she figured out how to turn it on, she could not turn it off and I intervened just before the overflow happened; the story of my knight-in-shining-armor behavior spread like wildfire.

Father-in-law's dementia is advancing rapidly; he was moved to memory care -- just across the road in the same retirement community -- and we visited him twice, because he was not well enough to join us for the party or other family events. We're not sure he recognized us, but he figured that if a bunch of people were there to visit then it was some special occasion, so he got caught in a loop of asking if it was Mother's Day, and then getting angry at himself that he forgot Mother's Day, and then asking if it was mother-in-law's birthday (he does recognize her), and then angry at himself for forgetting that, so when he asked if it was Mother's Day or her birthday we told him no, it wasn't any special day, we were just there to see him. My wife has already resigned herself to that it isn't "him" any more, but I could tell it was hard for her, because one of the times we visited him it was just her and me, and she's usually very chatty but I had to fill in some long silences where she didn't know what to say to him.

One thing about his dementia is that, despite years of living with mother-in-law's rules against swearing, he now swears like a sailor, to everyone's amusement. He's also still quite funny, he was always one for a joke or a pun, so there's still some of him in there. Once we got him out of the loop of what holiday it was, he decided that we must be there for his funeral and he was happy we could all make it.
posted by AzraelBrown at 6:54 AM on May 14 [13 favorites]

Speaking of pie, I just had my first Hubig's pies in ... 30 years? Found them at a gas station along I-10 in Louisiana. Apple and lemon, *not* microwaved so you can taste the flaky sugary crust. The lemon was soggy from humidity, but the apple was dry and perfect.
posted by credulous at 8:04 AM on May 14 [2 favorites]

and then he told me the origin of the fetish was his MOM (a lesbian who only wore very expensive leather outfits) she'd been the 'girl' on a kids show back in the 60s and it was her role to always get a pie in the face.

Good grief.

Turned 60 last Friday; no pie, but plenty of cake.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:10 AM on May 14 [4 favorites]

My most controversial opinion in our home is that pie is clearly superior to cake.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:28 AM on May 14 [1 favorite]

DOT, your opinion is correct. I am in the minority on this in my household, but it's true.

The rhubarb has bolted, but I picked enough for one more bake, so maybe a pie is called for (I already did a crisp and an upside-down cake).
posted by Lawn Beaver at 8:35 AM on May 14 [2 favorites]

Gluten free pie is definitely superior to gluten free cake, with an edge case of GF carrot cake with cream cheese icing being a rare superlative treat.
posted by seanmpuckett at 8:53 AM on May 14

My preference goes cobbler, then pie, then many other desserts, then cake. Cake is usually at the bottom. I just can't get into cake.
posted by downtohisturtles at 8:58 AM on May 14

Prof Sam Lawler is giving an anti-StarLink satellite talk at U of Toronto (Myhal Centre 150, 55 St George St) at 7pm tonight and I'm planning to go. Also she keeps goats.
posted by seanmpuckett at 8:58 AM on May 14 [4 favorites]

I would say that mediocre pie is far better than even good cake, but great cake? When it's tender and moist and full of flavor (or maybe perfectly dense like a good torte) Well, there's no reason to choose. Cut me a slice of both!

But all this talk of pie and me feeling sentimental has me thinking back - does anyone remember Hostess Pudding Pies in Chocolate and Vanilla? (Not their current Chocolate Cream pie) When I was a kid, we'd get bread sometimes from the Hostess Outlet store (aka the "day old" store) (Looks like it's there still, but now is a Flowers Food outlet - and huh, didn't know they bought Dave's Killer Bread).

I'm rock solid certain that they were, from a modern adult perspective, terrible, but as a poor kid, they were a helluva treat. Nostalgia makes MSG look like weak tea.
posted by drewbage1847 at 9:07 AM on May 14 [2 favorites]


For whatever reason I don't have the patience to make my own pie crust, and since I am usually only feeding myself and making pies to use up fruit I just get the premade stuff. Half the time I'm making a small gallette for myself instead of a big huge pie anyway so whatevs.

I also live close to a rather good pie shop, and in fact their Brooklyn location is only a block from my regular laundromat and so I use that as a reward ("okay, the stuff's gonna be in the dryer for 45 minutes - that's just enough time for pie!").


I've been mainlining stuff from Yossi Arefi's two books because they are exactly the nice, simple cakes that you want just hanging around the house everyday. There's a place for the fancy celebratory stuff, but sometimes you just want cake but don't want to futz with two layers and buttercream and all that junk. Her cakes are single-layer simple things, and can easily be made in a loaf pan if you want, and are exactly the kind of thing to have whipped up and hanging around for a week for you and a roommate to nibble on just as an everyday treat. Think like "bake sale" kinds of cakes. (And yes, I've used her books for my contributions to my community garden's bake sales extensively.)

Half of her chocolate ricotta cake I made this past weekend is still hanging around the house and I'm also eating through the chocolate-banana cookies (my roommate has been on a smoothie kick and gave me some black bananas he hadn't gotten to quickly enough, and this plus another banana bread is what I did with them).

Another really good cookbook is Gateau, which is a very similar approach only more extensive. Several of those recipes have "variations" listed as well, where you can switch things up and add just a different flavoring. The basic pound cake recipe has fifty-two such variations alone, and sometimes I will just make sure I have the basic ingredients for pound cake and then when I get to the weekend I'll check what else I've got in the house and that decides for me ("okay, I still have half that lemon I need to use up, and some dried lavender - there we go, lemon-lavender today").
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:18 AM on May 14 [2 favorites]

The problem with my preference for pie is that I am good for about one piece out of a pie, and even if my family is being agreeable, the two of them will only eat one slice each. So that leaves like five slices that will either go bad, or I will eat them just to avoid the waste, even though I don't really eat a lot of sweets.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:30 AM on May 14

Same, DOT! That's why I'm usually going with a smaller freeform rustic thing if I'm making one for myself -

* Get one of those refrigerated premade crusts, the kind with the two crusts you unroll.
* Smoosh one of the crusts up into a ball, and then divide that ball into four smaller balls. This will make you four baby freeform pies. If you're making less than four just wrap the leftovers up in plastic wrap and fridge them for later.
* Roll each ball you're using out to pie-crust thickness. Don't go too crazy about making it be perfectly round. You can just slap those on a baking sheet.
* Dump some fruit into the middle of each crust - berries, chopped apples, sliced peaches, whatever. Make a little pile, and make sure there's like an inch and a half border of crust around the pile. Sprinkle a little sugar and lemon juice on the fruit if you need it.
* Fold that crust border up and over the edges of the fruit pile. You'll have a big open bit in the middle but it's supposed to be there so whatever.
* Bake those suckers.
* Enjoy your serves-one fruit pie.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:37 AM on May 14 [7 favorites]

Looks like I complained about my dog barfing adventures twice. Sorry for that double post.

But, let's talk about pie.

Don't remember Hostess Pudding pies, but boy do I remember their fruit pies. Why would you want a twinkie or a cupcake or, (OMG), a sno-ball when you could get one of those blueberry pies. Only flavor I can remember.

I too am on the "I'll only eat one slice" team. Ms. Windo makes great crusts, (but generally won't give the cherry pie the top crust which it needs), but, so yummy. Blueberry pie, peach pie, so good. She doesn't make the "pudding-type" pies like Key Lime or Lemon Meringue which is a bummer.

Back when I was a high schooler in Prairie Village, KS, there was a restaurant out at Corinth called Pippin's. My friend and I would go there often. Get a bowl of chili, which came with a large chunk of cake-like cornbread, and honey butter, and then, for dessert, LOL, a slice of French Silk pie...

Looks like now there is a CVS there. You can never go home I guess.

To be able to eat that much food again...
posted by Windopaene at 10:36 AM on May 14 [2 favorites]

When I make pies, I find a two-crust recipe makes enough dough for a small auxiliary freeform tart, or else something we always called a rolly-bake, where you roll out the extra crust, spread some butter on top, brown sugar on top of that, then raisins, then roll it into a log. Bake alongside the pie and then eat it as a snack, like if you don't feel like making a whole production out of things you can just cut a chunk off and house it.

The small auxiliary tart can take a fruit filling. I mix the sugar and the fruit in advance and let it macerate a bit (lemon juice and maybe zest optional but very good additions).

When it comes to cake, a pound cake is better than most others. Olive oil cake with citrus zest is also good. I do like a victoria sponge, which is low fuss; needs two cakes but all you do is spread jam and whipped cream in between and whipped cream with raspberries on top.

But pie is to be preferred in almost all circumstances.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 10:36 AM on May 14 [1 favorite]

I just can't get into cake.

Are they too small for you to fit, or is your boss at the Surprise Cake place not paying you enough?
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:46 AM on May 14 [6 favorites]

My preschoolers are baking this week. Our letter is Z so we're making zucchini banana bread with blueberries.
posted by kathrynm at 10:49 AM on May 14 [5 favorites]

Wow, that reminds me that I haven't made zucchini bread in ages. I need to fix that pronto.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:53 AM on May 14 [3 favorites]

Yeah that remind me my mom made KILLER zucchini (and sometimes pumpkin) bread most of my life until at some point in her elderly years every sweetener became Sweet N Low and um, blech.
posted by Glinn at 1:09 PM on May 14

I like to make whole wheat zucchini bread with walnuts and a swirl of cocoa. yummmmmm. (grow, zucchinis, grow!)
posted by supermedusa at 2:01 PM on May 14 [1 favorite]

> Data point: Sometimes I like to put pie into my face.

But do you like it for breakfast?
posted by gingerbeer at 4:56 PM on May 14

Peter Percival Patterson had a pet pig named Porky.
This pet pig named Porky loved pie.
He loved pizza pie, pumpkin pie, pineapple pie, pizza pie...mince tarts...
And Peter Percival Patterson’s pet pig Porky loved pie for breakfast, pie for lunch, pie in the afternoon, and pie before he went to (urk) bed.
Peter Percival Patterson’s pet pig Porky ate so much pie that do you know what he did?
He popped.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:18 PM on May 14 [1 favorite]

Interesting that no one makes Zucchini Pie...
posted by Windopaene at 5:25 PM on May 14

Interesting that no one makes Zucchini Pie...

Oh but there is zucchini quiche...
posted by hippybear at 5:52 PM on May 14 [3 favorites]

Welp, a recruiter at the new employer with a charming STD-related username just posted that there's a hiring freeze there. I don't know for sure if that means jobs in progress are stopped or not, and I can't ask until tomorrow, but I'm freaking out now. I didn't get further paperwork from them today (which was likely) and I have to ask tomorrow anyway, but AIEEEEEEEEEEEEE it feels so close and yet so far and I don't want to quit my job with nothing.

I did get that other interview scheduled for tomorrow, at least.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:00 PM on May 14 [4 favorites]

If you like driving techno and other related music, you owe it to yourself to listen to Trent and Atticus' soundtrack for Challengers. It's a real treat from beginning to end. [only the first 15 tracks here are the original album]
posted by hippybear at 6:28 PM on May 14 [2 favorites]

Just got back from a Laura Jane Grace show. It was wonderful and gratifying to see a crowd full of punks of all stripes and overlaps: young, older, disabled, queer (in fact, it was extremely queer and there were many trans punks), sort of gothy, sort of emo. It was a super positive vibe. Got to briefly talk to LJ about Cedar Key, as she knows it well too (I spent all my childhood summers there).

True Trans Soul Rebel, indeed. :)
posted by Kitteh at 7:33 PM on May 14 [3 favorites]

I was hired to teach today! It’s only part time though. It makes me want to never get paid again to write code because that's nothing in comparison with someone paying me to violin. My students are great, they’re sharp and funny and I’m so thrilled to get to do this. I am teaching a class with only two students in it, which is kind of funny. It’s great for the students, but it’s better for the school if that number isn’t so low, of course.
posted by wurl1tzer_c0 at 8:12 PM on May 14 [10 favorites]

Cottleston Cottleston Cottleston Pie,
A fly can't bird, but a bird can fly.
Ask me a riddle and I reply,
Cottleston Cottleston Cottleston Pie.

Cottleston Cottleston Cottleston Pie,
Why does a chicken? I don't know why.
Ask me a riddle and I reply,
Cottleston Cottleston Cottleston Pie.

Cottleston Cottleston Cottleston Pie,
A fish can't whistle and neither can I.
Ask me a riddle and I reply,
Cottleston Cottleston Cottleston Pie.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:49 PM on May 14 [3 favorites]

Soooooooo I got fired yesterday.

This was me - and yesterday at work my boss called me into HR and they said that while they had seen some improvement, it just wasn't enough for what they needed for the position, so they were letting me go effective immediately.

And honestly, I've caught myself glancing at want ads in the past couple weeks and wishing it would be okay to just start looking for another job now. I think that this wasn't so much a matter of performance, it was more just things not being a good fit. They were looking for someone to be a clone of the CEO's assistant (who is still there), but I would never be able to do that - especially since the CEO's assistant had some weird power-trippy vibe going on and was never able to really train me. The biggest things they complained about were attention to detail, but - the biggest examples they pointed to were mis-spellings of names in internal documents. They also were PILING work on me, and the pay was shitty.

Fuck 'em, they did me a favor. They have 2 big events coming up next week and the week after I was supposed to be working on and now I don't need to. (I honestly am more surprised they didn't wait until after those events to do this, because now they're shortstaffed....but I don't have to worry about that shit.)

I reached back out to the boss I had at this temp job last summer (he has also left that company himself since, but is in touch with them) and he spoke with me a long time last night, because he had a plan to somehow get me a permanent job there instead, it just may take some finessing. But in the meantime I'm chilling the rest of the day today, then strategizing tomorrow and Friday. I get my second-to-last paycheck tomorrow and then the last on the 30th, and I'll sign up for unemployment this week and then a couple temp agencies next week, and start applying to places.

I'll be fine - and I think this was a good thing.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:48 AM on May 15 [10 favorites]

Prof Sam Lawler is giving an anti-StarLink satellite talk at U of Toronto

And it was fun! And yes, the goats got a mention.

It was also nice to look at the moon through a couple of really nice telescopes.
posted by scruss at 5:44 AM on May 15

My terrible boss has become even more terrible, and I've discovered I've been demoted from her new shiny "golden child" toy to... not a scapegoat or black sheep. More like... a nothing? She's been blanking me, but honestly, I appreciate that more than being a scapegoat (like another unfortunate coworker who can seem to do nothing right in our boss's eyes).

But the staff has realized that our boss is the reason that we're all struggling to do our jobs, jobs we normally know how to do and do quite well. She's a classic micromanager narcissist with terrible business sense. And definitely doesn't know how to manage people -- not just her staff, but vendors and other partners. It's been embarrassing to see how she relates to people she believes are "beneath" her, especially people that we need to stay connected with and have good relationships with in the future. We keep having to do damage control.

It has reached a point where we decided on the nuclear option -- going to the Board behind her back. We chose some board members that would listen to us (unlike the ones she has wrapped around her finger) and while they were surprised by the large stack of documentation we provided, they did not seem surprised by our grievances. Oh, did I mention that over half the staff walked out last year because of how she was treating them and then that staff started their own similar company? Yeah. I wasn't part of the company then, but I'm realizing that my boss wasn't the victim she made herself out to be in that situation.

So it's not a new thing. But we've been walking on razorblade eggshells the past couple of weeks while we wait to hear from the Board. They're having an emergency meeting tomorrow and have already reached out to see how we could function without our boss for a month in case there's an investigation. There might be a couple hiccups, but we'll function just fine.

This is the first time I've dealt with such a truly terrible work environment, and I'm still baffled by it all. I've had some difficult bosses, but they were at least good at their job and didn't bother you much if you did yours, and even gave you the tools needed to better succeed. And the incompetent bosses were easy to work around. But she's actively damaging the company despite all her claims of "This place won't survive without me!"

So it's tense around here while we wait to see what will happen. Who will go? Either her, or the rest of the staff? The first option would be damaging to the company's reputation, but salvageable. The latter would be the nail in the coffin of this NPO, I think. One of my coworkers is basically a barometer for our clients -- they trust my coworker, so if my coworker stays, the clients will stay. If my coworker goes, quite a few of our clients -- who were already shaken by last year's staff departure -- will likely be moving to support another similar arts NPO.

While I hate the idea of being on the job hunt again, I know I could find something. My skills aren't so niche that I can't meld into another industry. But I'd prefer to stay here for now since I like my coworkers and what we do. We just can't keep being poorly managed and abused like we have been.

So we'll be obsessively checking our emails tomorrow. We don't think our boss has any clue what's going on, but there's no way that her personally-chosen board members won't give her a heads up after tomorrow's meeting. Thankfully she's supposed to be out of town starting Friday, anyway. But this is all a weird work stress I've never had to deal with before and I'm not sure how well I'm coping beyond trying to still do my job (and actively look for another one, but the market is still terrible, sigh). And consuming lots of chocolate and playing silly video games and getting caught up on Netflix via a friend's account while I pet-sit a grumpy-but-sweet old-man chihuahua.

And sorry not sorry for the wall of text but there's basically no one else I can talk about this with until we know about more steps, so yay anonymous internet.
posted by paisley sheep at 11:33 AM on May 15 [9 favorites]

Fingers crossed paisley!

My own job hunt is barely 24 hours old and I already have two job leads, one of which I got 100% through networking and is going to involve some comedic heist-level planning. I was telling a friend about the whole plan and she said that "it feels like this should be set to a music montage".

I am surrounded by quipsters, actually - I was telling a recruiter (he who gave me the OTHER lead) about what went down at my last job, and when I told him how many people I was supporting he said "jeez, that's like a basketball team's worth of people."

I see the recruiter tomorrow to discuss my options further. I've tossed my resume out to a few people already, and reached out to some business contacts from other jobs to let them know.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:47 AM on May 15 [1 favorite]

I've mentioned and asked on here about my driving lessons before. They came to a bit of a head yesterday - I think it was the 16th one or something like that - when the instructor stopped the lesson early because my driving was unsafe. He bearded at me at length about next steps, diagnosed me with dyspraxia and told me to take six weeks and do pros and cons to decide whether to continue. I'm meditating a two-pronged Ask about how to decide and how to deal with what feels like a major failure, which brings up all the other failures in my life (yes, am aware that many other people are unable to drive or choose not to, and understand the possible environmental advantages).

In more positive news, I recently started going to the dentist after thirty-three years of not going and major phobia. I'm slightly proud. And pretty sure I wore a hole in the chair trying to burrow into it away from the dentist. They make you pay for the sessions as well!
posted by paduasoy at 12:11 PM on May 15 [2 favorites]

Hibbybear could it be Gallbladder?
posted by halehale at 12:43 PM on May 15

Hibbybear could it be Gallbladder?

Every test we've been able to think of comes back normal. Gallbladder function was tested at some point in the past couple of years.

I do have both a physician appointment and a gastrointestinal specialist appointment toward the end of the month, so maybe something can get figured out, or maybe we can think of more tests to run.
posted by hippybear at 1:01 PM on May 15

Prof Sam Lawler was working with this piece of space junk that fell in Saskatchewan.
larger than I expected.
posted by yyz at 1:58 PM on May 15

paduasoy: it took me a long time to learn how to drive, you have my sympathy. I know that failure feeling. It's survivable to not drive, especially these days, but having big ol' chronic failure in an area really sucks. I don't know squat on dyspraxia, but maybe doctor consulting might help on that front.
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:07 PM on May 15 [1 favorite]

pff how many of us were at Sam Lawler's presentation and just blanked on recognizing each other. should have made it a meetup.
posted by seanmpuckett at 2:18 PM on May 15 [1 favorite]

Just ran across another reason to avoid the outdoors.

I hadn't realized a tick bite could turn you vegan.
Apparently there is a tick bite associated meat allergy.
It's called Alpha-gal Syndrome.

'"it is estimated that as many as 450,000 people might have been affected by AGS in the United States"
posted by yyz at 2:34 PM on May 15 [1 favorite]

Alpha-Gal scares me. Doesn't seem to run in my neck of the woods yet, but YIKES.

I just had my final interview with the last place remaining. They would have been fine with hiring me, apparently, BUT then they dropped the bomb on my caseworker that they're considering pulling the position because someone else's contract is up, and I was all, "bird in the hand, I'm OUT" on this. Caseworker had no clue and they didn't mention it to me whatsoever, so...ridiculous. I note my caseworker is also quitting for another job too....

So, committing to moving on.
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:50 PM on May 15 [1 favorite]

I got a friend with AGS. She has to be really careful eating out. Even a bit of meat broth in a soup will give her a miserable night.
posted by seanmpuckett at 2:50 PM on May 15

Yeah, i've seen mantion of Alpha-gal here on the Blue before.

Fucking ticks. Nasty bloodsucking fucks.

Don't have them much here in the PNW that I am aware, but I do have a "great" tick story that I will tell. And some of the details might be a bit off, but not the good parts.

So my parents were good friends with a family that had a house on Mackinac Island, and we should come visit. So we did. One of my first plane trips on a small little airplane. It had a beige interior, very 1970.

They said, "Hey, we should take a ferry/boat over to this place" (probably one of the other islands that are nearby), "and do this great hike". So we did. Boatrided, and hiked. Think it was pretty...

Got back on the boat to go back. I spot lots of little red spots on my camel Hagar slacks, (I refused to wear jeans at the time), and, fearing they were "tiny but telltale blood stains" asked my mom, "what's on my pants?" She looked, and realized they were moving.

Fucking little, TINY, ticks. Hundreds. Spent hours getting those clothes off and doing all the tick treatments we could do. Tomato juice? No that's skunks. Not a fan of insects that want to suck my blood. Or mammals for that matter. I loved my nurses, but get away from me with that needle! And vampires, not into them.
posted by Windopaene at 2:58 PM on May 15 [1 favorite]

I've done enough needles in the past couple of years that I've gone from saying "you'd best lay me down, I might hit the floor" to anyone coming to give me a shot or draw blood to mostly being able to just tell them to be gentle and look away. It's one of the most remarkable positive changes in my life.

I am still not a fan of needles, but not having the thought of one make me feel faint is nice.
posted by hippybear at 3:14 PM on May 15 [4 favorites]

My mom has alpha-gal. Which, I'm a vegetarian and my sister was a vegan, so it caused no changes in our eating habits when we're with her. We do joke about this as a sneaky way to make more people vegan, except that I do think people should be able to make that choice and not have it forced on them.
posted by gingerbeer at 3:23 PM on May 15 [1 favorite]

I've done enough needles in the past couple of years

A few months ago I had to get a test done that involved an IV feed. For some reason the nurse kept blowing (not the most endearing of terms) veins in my arm; after 3 tries she had another nurse come in and try. After another few tries - both arms having been stuck multiple times by now - they called in their "expert" who had to try another few times (including using one of those nifty lights that make the veins display on your skin) before finally managing a successful needle insertion. I think I had a total of 11 or 12 Band-Aids on my arms by the time they were done; I looked like a hardcore addict. The whole thing was bizarre, I've never had such trouble getting stuck before or since.

It's a good thing I don't have a fear of needles.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:46 PM on May 15 [1 favorite]

posted by hippybear at 3:50 PM on May 15 [1 favorite]

pff how many of us were at Sam Lawler's presentation and just blanked on recognizing each other

I got in just as it started and saw you, but you scooted out early
posted by scruss at 4:32 PM on May 15 [1 favorite]

Yeah, I had so many IV's when I was in the hospital. I've gotten better at it now. And that machine that shows your veins is pretty fucking amazing. But when they took 13 vials of blood from me, that was pretty terrible.

One of my nurses got pissed at me because I would start freaking out when she "cleared" the IV line. "Does that really hurt or are you just freaking out?" became a thing... She felt the latter.

All the drugs they were giving me probably helped with the not freaking out part.

EDIT EDIT: They were giving me ALL of the drugs.
posted by Windopaene at 10:07 PM on May 15

So I am saying this mostly so y'all keep me honest.

* I have a meeting with a local recruiter today about the two job leads, and I have a high school buddy who is a recruiter in Atlanta who is taking a look at my updated resume and cover letter today. And other than that - I will not be doing any further job hunting activity for the rest of the week. I owe it to myself to give myself a couple days to decompress. Yesterday I did jack-shit around the house (and started going a little stir crazy), today I have a couple of low-level errands and then tomorrow I am hitting up a museum (the Brooklyn Library has free passes to several NYC museums you can check out like a library book and I grabbed one).

* I did a bit of an emergency-measures update of my finances (pausing my automated IRA contributions and savings transfers), which actually represents the second biggest "expense" for me after rent. Putting a pause on that saved me during my last period of unemployment, to the point that I came out ahead. My CSA also kicks in for me in 3 weeks (a week after I get my last paycheck) so that's a huge weekly bag of fruit and veg that I get now through October; I also did a survey of all the food in the house and I'm in really good shape there. No matter what, food is sorted.

* In addition to my last paycheck still coming, I have 3 months' worth of expenses covered with savings. I also have still yet to get my state tax refund, which will be huge and which will cover another 2 months. And all of that is BEFORE I start collecting unemployment which will be further income.

* I have no debt, thank all the EVERLOVING GODS.

* I have built a structure into my daily life over the next several weeks while I'm job hunting which will call for my only doing that legwork in the morning. I have built in mid-day housekeeping chores for myself as a natural stop to the job hunt process (so I'm not lingering by my computer obsessively checking email every ten minutes) and then have scheduled in some afternoon get-out-of-the-house fun options that a) would be free, and b) would be easy to reschedule if I have an interview at some point. Even if "getting out of the house" is nothing more than heading next door to the community garden with a book and a thermos of lemonade - I'm still out of the house.

* I'd already planned and paid for a visit to Woodstock, and I'm still doing it because - planned and paid for already, y'all.

And finally:

* When I updated my resume with what I did at this last job, the list of the things I did in only three months was LONGER than the list of things I did at a job I had for THREE YEARS. Which a) looks kind of awesome, and b) is tremendously reassuring that "oh, hang on, I wasn't making the occasional mistake because I'm flawed, it was because THEY OVERLOADED THE FUCK OUT OF ME, and I also didn't "ask too many questions" because I'm dumb, I was asking them because NOBODY FUCKING EVER TRAINED ME PROPERLY, and the only person who could have had this weird power trip thing going on."

Right then. In a minute I'll be hitting the shower, and pulling myself together. At noon I head out to the bank to deposit an expense reimbursement check (on top of today's second-to-last paycheck) and a bunch of rolled change; then to the recruiter. And then I pick up some anti-slug stuff at a hardware store on the way home, change, and hit up my garden to maybe plant a tomato seedling and save our gardens' herbs.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:58 AM on May 16 [6 favorites]

I quit.

I have packed up my shit to go and will have a friend assist me in bringing it back tomorrow, they made sure to let me know my access card has been killed so I have to go in through public entrances.

I have been texting with a coworker friend and she said two other people also announced they quit today (or are quitting in the future) to go to grad school, including one of my two remaining teammates. I love this for them, especially when budget cuts will probably freeze hiring. They sent a nicer/politer leaving email than I expected, I was expecting "Jennifer no longer works here," full stop, instead it said I'd been a member of multiple teams and had a lot of years of service. So there you go. Friend was all, why are they acting like that when you weren't fired and I said they were prevented from firing me, so this is better than I thought.
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:56 AM on May 16 [7 favorites]

Sounds like a good day to bring out the Old Man Luedecke classic: I Quit My Job
posted by scruss at 2:59 PM on May 16 [3 favorites]

Hurrah for quitting!

Music today! The Mavericks swoon-worthy Moon & Stars, a couple of cuts from Melissa Etheridge’s I’m Not Broken (Live from Topeka Correctional Facility), then switched to Blue Rodeo’s utterly divine Five Days in July. Updating test libraries is NOT going well today, (why are you Syntax erring on me???) so beautiful sounds are keeping me from tossing my equipment out of the closest window.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 6:20 AM on May 17

I’m not quitting today, but i am soooo burned out. Fortunately I have all of next week taken as vacation, plus Memorial Day the Monday after that, so I have ten full days to get my shit straightened out and figure out how, somehow, I can continue to remain employable until I’m financially ready to retire, or until civilization collapses. Whichever comes first is fine with me, I’m not picky.
posted by notoriety public at 8:12 AM on May 17 [1 favorite]

I'm out! The manager I dealt with was quite pleasant and gave me a bag of snacks, and a card was signed.

I realized on the way out that I've spent 26 years here--four at college (yeah, I worked at That College) and then 22 years after that. It's been a long time, and 16 of those years were great. It'll be weird not to have the advantages I'm used to having here (library access, events with free stuff, 20 minute walk to work, hybrid-ing, free NYT access, Zoom at lunch), or seeing the people I'm used to seeing. But I'm hoping I get to shine elsewhere.
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:29 PM on May 17 [5 favorites]

So... what is everybody doing this weekend?
posted by DirtyOldTown at 2:47 PM on May 17

We'll be celebrating Queen Victoria's birthday on Monday
It's a long weekend here.
posted by yyz at 2:54 PM on May 17 [3 favorites]

Doing the cliche Victoria Day weekend of activity of gardening but with my cannabis seedlings, then hopefully going to see I Saw the TV Glow at our local indie movie theatre, and hoping for awesome weather so I can get high outdoors.
posted by Kitteh at 4:25 PM on May 17

So... what is everybody doing this weekend?

I'll have company visiting the first week of June. I'm a serial procrastinator when it comes to keeping house, so I've got my work cut out for me over the next two weeks.

In between those bouts of frenzied drudgery I'll work on painting some 3D printed models of various D&D/Fantasy-type characters and monsters. They range from 4" to 8" tall, so even with my recently-acquired airbrush painting them will be a marathon rather than a sprint - I expect them to keep me busy for a month or three at least. Which is fine with me because I want to take some care and do as artistic, detailed, and realistic-looking a job as I can.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:38 PM on May 17

Oh - I'm also going to a local (slightly chilly) outdoor IRL meetup on Sunday afternoon.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:40 PM on May 17

So... what is everybody doing this weekend?

No clue yet! I am still finding my level of "doing stuff" post-firing; I've built in some options for getting myself out of the house on weekdays, instead of trying to cram it in on the weekends. The weather is also going to be really changeable so I'm not sure what to do yet.

There is one thing, though, that will happen - USPS tracking says I'm due to get my next goodie box from Rancho Gordo and so there will be some unpacking and squeeing, and recipe browsing and bookmarking. I've started getting into a habit of cooking up some beans on the weekend to see me through the week, especially so now that it's warming up and having bean salads in the fridge to draw from will be a good idea.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:49 AM on May 18

Today has been very productive! I got about halfway through the most shameful part of my household cleaning catch-up process. To explain:

In my state there's a 5¢ deposit per beer bottle; that's 30¢ per 6-pack. Every 2 months or so I used to take my accumulated bottles to the little recycling station at my local grocery store and get a ticket for ~$2.50 off the groceries I bought that day. -though I didn't care about the money, I just wanted to recycle the glass. When the pandemic hit they closed the station, I thought temporarily, so I started stashing my beer bottles in boxes and stacking those in my spare bedroom in anticipation of the station re-opening.

By the beginning of 2024, well past the "end" of the pandemic (yes, I'm using that phrase very advisedly, just roll with it for the sake of the narrative), the station was still closed and I realized I might as well assume it would never reopen. Trouble is, by now I had about 3 years' worth of accumulated beer bottles in something like 15 boxes crammed into the spare room, to the point I couldn't even close the door. The solution was obvious but daunting - loading up the car with as many boxes as I could fit at a time and hauling it to the only available glass recycling center - a 45 minute drive from me, and not open on evenings or weekends. I'd need a day off work and at least two trips to get rid of all of them. Ugh. At this point that was too big a job for me to face, so I kept putting it off. For a couple of years now those boxes have been staring at me (metaphorically speaking), taunting me, every time I pass the door to that room. my sister is coming to visit the first week of June, and I no longer have a choice but to deal with my accumulated shame. How to get rid of all these bottles with the least possible effort on my part??

Enter my neighbor, my savior. He's retired and makes extra money hauling recyclable stuff (metal, glass, small appliances, you name it) to the normally-inconvenient far-flung recycle centers. The deal is, he gets rid of your junk for free, and in exchange keeps whatever refund is offered for said recycled materials. Fine with me! I managed to fill the bed of his truck with almost half the boxed bottles; once he's dropped those off I'll fill it up again and BE RID OF THIS PESTILENTIAL BURDEN! He'll get maybe $15 or $20 out of the deal, and shoot I'll probably tip him ten bucks on top of that out of sheer gratitude.

Meanwhile I've been steadily breaking down some of the pile of Amazon boxes - which somehow proliferate alarmingly quickly - to go out to one of the apartment's recycling bins each week*. I should be done with that with time to spare (and without denying my neighbors undue access to bin space). There's still cleaning to do after that, but with bottles and boxes out of my life the rest is a cinch. Relatively speaking.

*As an aside, let me just say I LOATHE AND DESPISE the indolent lackadaisical OAFS who can't be bothered to flatten their boxes before tossing them in the recycle bin! Gahhh, arggh, and similar enraged expletives.
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:54 PM on May 18 [3 favorites]

OMG Greg. If you're going to loathe and despise them, get some quality actual forbidden words in there, not sounds that might be dubbed in for network broadcast.
posted by hippybear at 8:49 PM on May 18

Ok then, how about "#$@! those @$?&!%!@?!ing !&?@#!#%&!s straight to *+%#^"?

Or perhaps this will suffice...
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:17 PM on May 18

Greg, I would escalate to Malcom Tucker's vocabulary for that kind of misdeed.

....My weekend has shaped up to have a double-headed purpose - I started stocking up on the means to do some particular hobbies, which a) will let me occupy myself, and b) save money - because some particular hobbies I tend to have are sort of DIY pantry-based things. Like, one thing I bought was a big bag of rolled oats and this morning I am making my own granola which will cover me for breakfasts for the next couple weeks I think.

I'm also probably going to end up covering at least some of the morning shift in the community garden - the person who was meant to is trapped in an airport in Florida. It's a lovely day and I live close by and have no immediate definite plans so why not, I'll head out there as soon as I turn the oven off for the granola.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:31 AM on May 19

It was an errands sort of weekend yesterday. Today I rearranged my office to make the cat tree more alluring (Menace decided she preferred to lie on the windowsill anyway) and washed some of my wool sweaters for storage.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 12:27 PM on May 19 [1 favorite]

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