Does Ed Balls still count?
June 10, 2024 1:32 AM   Subscribe

 
Spinch and Chimken Nuggest both get frequently repeated (by me) at our house.

"He scream at own ass" will never not send me into fits. Ditto for "Doom toots as he pleases!"
posted by Scattercat at 1:50 AM on June 10 [15 favorites]


I've been following the load-bearing posts thread and various spin-offs and derivatives on Twitter for the last couple of weeks, and it's wonderful, just great examples of a genre of... literature? Writing, at least? Joke? ...that's so specific to one medium and was made possible for a brief, shining moment by Twitter (and to an extent Tumblr and a few others) before it all went to hell.

A medium where even a username can be a tiny gem of perfection (to be fair, this also happens on MeFi, which has always been one of my favorite things here).
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 2:00 AM on June 10 [12 favorites]


2015-20 twitter was a golden age of short-form comedy
posted by Klipspringer at 2:44 AM on June 10 [19 favorites]


please, my wets

she wears HIGH HEELS I breed BEAVERS she's cheer captain and I've got all these BEAVERS

I remember now that this is a good place, it is the dry world that is the enemy
posted by taquito sunrise at 3:06 AM on June 10 [18 favorites]




Metafilter: The load-bearing posts of our tilme.
posted by New Frontier at 3:26 AM on June 10 [5 favorites]


oh oh! jail for chavenet! jail for chavenet for One Thousand Years!!!!
posted by 1024 at 3:38 AM on June 10 [13 favorites]


Really, no one has mentioned Main Character yet, in all of these posts, comments, and articles?

To use a very outdated reference : I am disappoint.
posted by revmitcz at 4:00 AM on June 10 [8 favorites]


how is babby formed
posted by flabdablet at 4:15 AM on June 10 [13 favorites]


Seriously, thank you so much for putting this together. It’s bringing back a lot of nostalgia and snorts and chuckles at time I could really use that. I don’t quite know why, but the fact that your first link below the fold is from Digg of all places is what sealed the deal for me. An elegant site for a more civilized age.
posted by 1024 at 4:22 AM on June 10 [5 favorites]


Read. Learn. Evolve.
posted by seanmpuckett at 4:58 AM on June 10 [1 favorite]


Ed Balls - long may he wave

I hadn't heard of Ed before - looked it up and I cannot stop laughing.
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 5:10 AM on June 10 [6 favorites]


If posts can be load-bearing, goatse.cx was fundamental.
posted by flabdablet at 5:24 AM on June 10 [12 favorites]


goatse.cx was fundamental.

My eyes! The goggles do nothing!
posted by 1024 at 5:42 AM on June 10 [11 favorites]




how is babby formed

If posts can be load-bearing, goatse.cx was fundamental.


Those weren't Twitter, though.
posted by NoMich at 6:02 AM on June 10 [5 favorites]


> A medium where even a username can be a tiny gem of perfection (to be fair, this also happens on MeFi, which has always been one of my favorite things here).

you’re welcome!
posted by bombastic lowercase pronouncements at 6:05 AM on June 10 [7 favorites]


she wears HIGH HEELS I breed BEAVERS she's cheer captain and I've got all these BEAVERS

One of high water marks on twitter for me was right after the music video for Taylor Swift’s “Look What You Made Me Do” dropped, with a visual language strikingly similar to the video for Beyoncé’s “Formation”, and I started seeing the following everywhere:

OK LADIES NOW LET’S GENTRIFICATION
posted by 1024 at 6:10 AM on June 10 [4 favorites]


I didn't get that reference.
posted by Naberius at 6:18 AM on June 10 [1 favorite]


The chiropractor sprinting to kick you in the neck, "say goodbye to your IBS" one is still so funny to me. I remember laughing so hard the first time I read it that I was forced to share with the outside world. (The thing about hilarious tweets is that they're never as funny aloud?! Something about Internet humor format doesn't work as well away from our little screens.)
posted by grandiloquiet at 6:31 AM on June 10 [7 favorites]


If posts can be load-bearing, goatse.cx was fundamental.

Those weren't Twitter, though.


Arguably Xitter.
posted by flabdablet at 6:35 AM on June 10 [3 favorites]


Some of these I recognize from my Twitter years but a lot more I recognize from an ex-MeFite's extant Tumblr. Enough where so much of this has entered my everyday speech!

Oh, the shame.
posted by Kitteh at 6:45 AM on June 10 [3 favorites]


Also, my friend Stoatie always reminds us when it's Ed Balls Day. (He's in the UK.)
posted by Kitteh at 6:45 AM on June 10 [5 favorites]


@dril Sep 29, 2013
Food $200
Data $150
Rent $800
Candles $3,600
Utility $150
someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
posted by EndsOfInvention at 6:48 AM on June 10 [38 favorites]




If posts can be load-bearing, goatse.cx was fundamental.

Those weren't Twitter, though.


It could be, if you weren't a coward.
posted by The Manwich Horror at 7:16 AM on June 10 [5 favorites]


Sadly, my introduction to goatse was here on Metafilter. That's back when we were still allowed to post images in a comment and someone did that with goatse. Seems like we had a streak of that issue here 20 years ago (link goes to Metatalk).
posted by NoMich at 7:19 AM on June 10 [3 favorites]


(link goes to Metatalk)

suuuuuuuuuure it does : P
posted by taquito sunrise at 7:39 AM on June 10 [15 favorites]


"They're good dogs, Brent."

"Large boulder the size of a small boulder."

These are part of the fabric of my life.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 7:50 AM on June 10 [23 favorites]


"I am feel uncomfortable when we are not about me" is all-time classic.
posted by praemunire at 8:13 AM on June 10 [7 favorites]


HELLO FELLOW HUMAN TEENS I HEARD THE COOLEST PLACE FOR US TEENS TO HANG OUT IS The Colossal Pillar of Wasp Eggs LETS GO DO NOT BRING WEAPONS
posted by Earthtopus at 8:16 AM on June 10 [17 favorites]


VANcouver!
posted by ob1quixote at 8:44 AM on June 10 [6 favorites]


"How dare you call me mentally unstable on this, the day of my cat's quinceanera."

"most cutting thing you can say is 'who's this clown?' because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns"

"well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions"
posted by Foosnark at 9:00 AM on June 10 [32 favorites]


Damn, so many classics. Also, the Digg selections were way better than those in the other two.
posted by May Kasahara at 9:04 AM on June 10 [2 favorites]


The Great Scrollback of Alexandria (part of a great collection of posts at The Verge's wonderfully formatted The Year Twitter Died) has a load of these load-bearers.

I personally would vote for something like .@parisreview So is Paris any good or not, but I actually think the winner would be absolute unit despite my dislike for that particular post (or at least the endless repetition it engendered).
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 9:05 AM on June 10 [5 favorites]


Yes, yes, I KNOW it's not Twitter/X and I KNOW this marks me as An Old but:

CAPS LOCK IS HOW I FEEL INSIDE

is still shouted or mumbled in my house at least once a week.
posted by cooker girl at 9:09 AM on June 10 [15 favorites]


I have always loved the:

You: x
Me, an intellectual: y

meme.
posted by Kitteh at 9:17 AM on June 10 [3 favorites]


oh oh! jail for chavenet! jail for chavenet for One Thousand Years!!!!

I still use this with my kids. They are very tolerant.
posted by corb at 9:20 AM on June 10 [3 favorites]


503 Service Temporarily Unavailable

We Slashdotted Digg!

We can bring back the Web 1.0 world if we really want to.
posted by srboisvert at 9:23 AM on June 10 [23 favorites]


VANcouver!

or as Ted Nugent said (over and over again) the only time I was ever unfortunate to find myself in his proximity, "Van-fucking-couver, baby, Van-fucking-couver."
posted by philip-random at 9:29 AM on June 10 [1 favorite]


I can’t believe they fuckin’ buttered Jorts.
posted by ActionPopulated at 9:46 AM on June 10 [25 favorites]


OMG JORTS
posted by Kitteh at 9:52 AM on June 10 [6 favorites]


For some weird reason, I value knowing precisely what I should say when sowing, and also when I, a sicko, am enjoying something.
posted by Hermione Dies at 10:16 AM on June 10 [2 favorites]


The saga of buttering Jorts is probably the greatest thing ever posted on the Internet. I will maintain this until my dying day.
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 10:28 AM on June 10 [6 favorites]


I'm terminally online and have been since sometime in the mid 80's with BBSes, but this whole thread definitely shows that I'm not that online because I a Twitter sized hole in my knowledge of online humor.
posted by drewbage1847 at 10:34 AM on June 10 [4 favorites]


Dear God, I just read the "green ketamine" thread for the first time.
posted by the sobsister at 10:55 AM on June 10 [7 favorites]


This video lives rent free in my head and I’m OK with that.
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 11:19 AM on June 10 [2 favorites]


It's depressing to me that Elon Musk has taken so much of the internet's humor and locked it behind "Firefox’s Enhanced Tracking Protection (Strict Mode) is known to cause issues on x.com"

Fuck that guy.
posted by caution live frogs at 11:32 AM on June 10 [6 favorites]


It's depressing to me that Elon Musk has taken so much of the internet's humor and locked it behind "Firefox’s Enhanced Tracking Protection (Strict Mode) is known to cause issues on x.com"


Or not showing responses to twxeets unless you're logged in (which I never am now) so you can't see conversations.
posted by Hamusutaa at 11:52 AM on June 10 [6 favorites]


One tweet from Timmy C @EsqTim:

Elon Musk: *slams dick in car door*
Musk Fans: Masterful gambit, sir.

and I enjoyed that pretty hard.
posted by theora55 at 12:35 PM on June 10 [10 favorites]


The Digg links gets a 404. Y'all broke Digg before I could read the funny.
posted by theora55 at 12:38 PM on June 10 [1 favorite]


One of the minor downsides of my midlife pivot into web app development (late 90s) is that my younger co-workers often had to explain these things to me. Goatse, ffs....
posted by Artful Codger at 12:40 PM on June 10 [1 favorite]


trash jones @jzux

imagine your roommate eats the plums you were saving for breakfast and then writes a bitchy little poem talking about how good they were. and then it becomes one of the most famous poems of all time
posted by supermedusa at 1:12 PM on June 10 [15 favorites]


If there's one thing I'd like Elon Musk to internalize, it's that he completely destroyed the exact shitposting culture that he loved by his sweaty desperation to be its king. I mean, there are much more important things that he's ruined for himself or others, but it seems like the only thing that would really make him sad.
posted by Countess Elena at 1:13 PM on June 10 [8 favorites]




It's a sad fact that Elon is one of the load-bearing posts, so to speak. It's not for one thing; it's for the collective of all his past actions and even projected future actions. Other billionaires manage to go days, weeks and months without anyone not connected to them thinking about them, but we see that a-hole every day, like a face on a carton of milk, except we hope Elon goes missing.
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 2:17 PM on June 10 [4 favorites]


Ed balls
posted by Uncle at 2:37 PM on June 10 [4 favorites]


Anal sex gifs
posted by Uncle at 2:42 PM on June 10 [2 favorites]


“you cannot kill me in a way that matters”
posted by 1024 at 2:43 PM on June 10 [4 favorites]


I think accidental posts are very funny but in a different category than shit posts
posted by Uncle at 2:44 PM on June 10 [1 favorite]


I have always loved the:
You: x
Me, an intellectual: y
meme.


My own contribution to that style, via a previous Metafilter thread:

You: tinfoil hat
Me, an intellectual: Faraday chapeau

(Bonus: Fancy Winnie image)
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:53 PM on June 10 [6 favorites]


how about this thread... (*yep, only visible if you're logged in)
posted by and for no one at 6:14 PM on June 10 [2 favorites]




I'm terminally online and have been since sometime in the mid 80's with BBSes, but this whole thread definitely shows that I'm not that online because I a Twitter sized hole in my knowledge of online humor.



I think you accidentally a whole word
posted by Dr. Curare at 6:31 PM on June 10 [4 favorites]




Yeah, I missed a "have" in there... I do have a Twitter sized hole in my proofreading caused by my need to type quickly.
posted by drewbage1847 at 8:56 PM on June 10 [1 favorite]


One that is not on this list is the infamous tweet by the deleted-account-and-now-posts-under-a-different-name (so I can't link to the tweet) Theophite in response to someone who said they didn't understand Bitcoin.

imagine if keeping your car idling 24/7 produced solved Sudokus you could trade for heroin

Every part of this is sublime and the more you know about Bitcoin, the better it gets.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 10:38 PM on June 10 [17 favorites]


I am flabbergasted we got this far down and no sign of the Nazi Bar
posted by ChrisR at 12:44 AM on June 11 [3 favorites]


i think ed balls has been good-natured about It, sort of the way that mr astley has apparently been chill about the online phenomenon of which this comment is not an example.
posted by busted_crayons at 1:58 AM on June 11 [3 favorites]


Wow, you people actually still send traffic over to Felon Muskrat? Wild.

Anyway, a few weeks ago Mrs. Hobo was doing some Wikipedia meta-review type stuff and she mentioned the tarot card for the nine of swords as some kind of deeper reference she didn't get. I sent her to this summary and screenshot of the "absolutely twisted" tweet.
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 4:07 AM on June 11 [3 favorites]


The last load-bearing tweet I can think of before I left Twitter (by the way, for everyone posting links to tweets, please consider that the site is hostile to people not logged-in at this point), is "big piss guy huh?"
posted by destructive cactus at 8:34 AM on June 11 [1 favorite]


Anyone else surprised to find out that digg is still around?

I second the whole Jorts the cat epicness.

“Are you really helping or are you just buttering the cat?”
posted by Revvy at 2:10 PM on June 11 [2 favorites]


What do you mean "just"?? I think that's a noble goal!
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:11 PM on June 11


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