What should you do if you're attacked by a kangaroo?
September 5, 2024 10:50 AM Subscribe
What should you do if you're attacked by a kangaroo? The answer might surprise you. A woman who came face-to-face with an aggressive kangaroo while on a run in Victoria, and a passer-by who came to help her, spent 40 frightening minutes trying to escape. So how should you deal with an angry roo? Wildlife carers share some tips.
I like how the advice is "lie on your stomach" and "curl into a ball," which, unless your anatomy is significantly different than mine, are mutually exclusive postures.
posted by mittens at 11:05 AM on September 5 [3 favorites]
posted by mittens at 11:05 AM on September 5 [3 favorites]
Finally my level of fighting skills become useful. I hope crying and saying “I’m sorry” also help.
posted by The River Ivel at 11:30 AM on September 5 [6 favorites]
posted by The River Ivel at 11:30 AM on September 5 [6 favorites]
first make sure it's not just a king-sized (and exuberant) mouse.
posted by philip-random at 12:11 PM on September 5 [5 favorites]
posted by philip-random at 12:11 PM on September 5 [5 favorites]
I mean, my basic approach to life itself is to curl up into a ball and scream, so I guess I'm well-prepared to take on a kangaroo.
posted by briank at 12:35 PM on September 5 [4 favorites]
posted by briank at 12:35 PM on September 5 [4 favorites]
This is important information. Especially based on some of the FailArmy videos I've seen. (This guy deserved worse from that 'roo.)
posted by amanda at 12:37 PM on September 5
posted by amanda at 12:37 PM on September 5
"This was a one-in-one-thousand incident, when you think of how many interactions we have with kangaroos and how we encroach on their habitat," she said.not nearly rare enough to be a reassuring statistic
posted by Caxton1476 at 1:17 PM on September 5 [2 favorites]
In all sincerity, Kangaroos are the scariest animal I've ever encountered in the wild.
posted by dobbs at 1:27 PM on September 5 [1 favorite]
posted by dobbs at 1:27 PM on September 5 [1 favorite]
I spent a few stoned minutes in a zoo some years ago watching a few fully grown ones wander around. Yes. Scary. Basically, man-sized rats.
posted by philip-random at 2:46 PM on September 5
posted by philip-random at 2:46 PM on September 5
It wouldn't normally occur to me that kangaroos could be dangerous because they aren't predators but any animal that's large enough can cause you serious injury if they feel like it. We're just lucky that most of the time they don't.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 3:01 PM on September 5
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 3:01 PM on September 5
Given the continent I live on, if a Kangaroo comes for me I will just assume God has had enough of my bullshit and accept my fate.
posted by pattern juggler at 5:16 PM on September 5 [10 favorites]
posted by pattern juggler at 5:16 PM on September 5 [10 favorites]
It wouldn't normally occur to me that kangaroos could be dangerous because they aren't predators
This is a really dangerous way to think in general, just fyi. Some of the most dangerous and hostile animals on earth are herbivores! Not just kangaroos—hippos are WAY up there on the "extremely nasty disposition and easily able to kill you" scale, and wild cattle of all sorts (bison, yaks, etc) will also happily fuck you up just because they don't like your face.
posted by adrienneleigh at 5:51 PM on September 5 [5 favorites]
This is a really dangerous way to think in general, just fyi. Some of the most dangerous and hostile animals on earth are herbivores! Not just kangaroos—hippos are WAY up there on the "extremely nasty disposition and easily able to kill you" scale, and wild cattle of all sorts (bison, yaks, etc) will also happily fuck you up just because they don't like your face.
posted by adrienneleigh at 5:51 PM on September 5 [5 favorites]
Also moose.
Needs more information on how to avoid getting into a one-on-one with a kangaroo in the first place. The only winning move is not to play.
posted by nat at 6:47 PM on September 5 [6 favorites]
Needs more information on how to avoid getting into a one-on-one with a kangaroo in the first place. The only winning move is not to play.
posted by nat at 6:47 PM on September 5 [6 favorites]
Needs more information on how to avoid getting into a one-on-one with a kangaroo in the first place. The only winning move is not to play.
Most of the times kangaroos are physically aggressive to humans start like this
1. human is walking a dog. The dog is either off leash or on a long leash.
2. the dog chases the kangaroo.
3. the kangaroo feels threatened [this is an animal who, for thousands of years, has had dingoes as its main predator], and attacks the dog, defending itself.
4. the human goes "oh shit, my poor dog!" and gets in between the kangaroo and the dog.
5. now the kangaroo is attacking the human.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 8:46 PM on September 5 [5 favorites]
Most of the times kangaroos are physically aggressive to humans start like this
1. human is walking a dog. The dog is either off leash or on a long leash.
2. the dog chases the kangaroo.
3. the kangaroo feels threatened [this is an animal who, for thousands of years, has had dingoes as its main predator], and attacks the dog, defending itself.
4. the human goes "oh shit, my poor dog!" and gets in between the kangaroo and the dog.
5. now the kangaroo is attacking the human.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 8:46 PM on September 5 [5 favorites]
Needs more information on how to avoid getting into a one-on-one with a kangaroo in the first placeIf you're on a motorbike and you see kangaroos, slow down to walking speed. I am not even slightly joking
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 9:42 PM on September 5 [3 favorites]
It wouldn't normally occur to me that kangaroos could be dangerous because they aren't predators
Hippos.
Rhinos.
Elephants.
Giraffe.
Moose.
Bison.
Large herbivores can pack a big wallop if they slam their body into you, or kick you, or trample you.
A woman who worked in giraffe conservation was walking home along the side of the road at twilight when a female giraffe, which was on high alert because it had its baby with it, trampled the woman and her toddler, with life-ending injuries for the woman and life-changing injuries for the toddler.
Having said that, kangaroos will ALMOST ALWAYS leave you alone if you don't hassle them or crowd them.
Most human vs kangaroo incidents are
1. a dog chased the kangaroo, the human defended the dog.
2. male kangaroos being territorial in breeding season.
3. kangaroos that have been raised as pets/in captivity.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 10:10 PM on September 5 [3 favorites]
Hippos.
Rhinos.
Elephants.
Giraffe.
Moose.
Bison.
Large herbivores can pack a big wallop if they slam their body into you, or kick you, or trample you.
A woman who worked in giraffe conservation was walking home along the side of the road at twilight when a female giraffe, which was on high alert because it had its baby with it, trampled the woman and her toddler, with life-ending injuries for the woman and life-changing injuries for the toddler.
Having said that, kangaroos will ALMOST ALWAYS leave you alone if you don't hassle them or crowd them.
Most human vs kangaroo incidents are
1. a dog chased the kangaroo, the human defended the dog.
2. male kangaroos being territorial in breeding season.
3. kangaroos that have been raised as pets/in captivity.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 10:10 PM on September 5 [3 favorites]
The other reason for human vs kangaroo incidents?
Humans have been feeding kangaroos,
and the kangaroos get used to it,
and get aggressive when they approach humans for food, and the humans don't have any food, or won't give it to them.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 10:32 PM on September 5 [3 favorites]
Humans have been feeding kangaroos,
and the kangaroos get used to it,
and get aggressive when they approach humans for food, and the humans don't have any food, or won't give it to them.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 10:32 PM on September 5 [3 favorites]
I'm hoping my plan to never visit Australia will make this information superfluous.
posted by lesbiassparrow at 12:08 AM on September 6 [2 favorites]
posted by lesbiassparrow at 12:08 AM on September 6 [2 favorites]
Unlikely as it is to happen in suburban South London, I shall make a note of this.
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 8:58 AM on September 6 [1 favorite]
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 8:58 AM on September 6 [1 favorite]
You're ok of you stay in South
london, but may be advised to avoid Leonardslee Gardens in Sussex (can't do the link here, but Google it), where they have wallabies, which are much smaller and cuter than 'roos, but pretty terrifying if one jumps in front of your car when you are driving around there at night. They are suposedly penned in, but get out all the time.
posted by Fuchsoid at 7:16 PM on September 6 [2 favorites]
london, but may be advised to avoid Leonardslee Gardens in Sussex (can't do the link here, but Google it), where they have wallabies, which are much smaller and cuter than 'roos, but pretty terrifying if one jumps in front of your car when you are driving around there at night. They are suposedly penned in, but get out all the time.
posted by Fuchsoid at 7:16 PM on September 6 [2 favorites]
Hippos.
Rhinos.
Elephants.
Giraffe.
Moose.
Bison.
If you ever think even the large long-domesticated animals are completely safe, don't kid yourself. After 10,000 years, cattle are not safe. Do NOT eff around with a Black Angus or a Holstein bull. You just might get away with it, heck, people get away with taking selfies with bison ever so often. But they do not love you. Highland cattle are considered one of the gentlest breeds, and even a hand-raised bull...
I'll apologize for this in advance.
Metafilter: will also happily fuck you up just because they don't like your face.
posted by BlueHorse at 8:28 PM on September 6 [1 favorite]
Rhinos.
Elephants.
Giraffe.
Moose.
Bison.
If you ever think even the large long-domesticated animals are completely safe, don't kid yourself. After 10,000 years, cattle are not safe. Do NOT eff around with a Black Angus or a Holstein bull. You just might get away with it, heck, people get away with taking selfies with bison ever so often. But they do not love you. Highland cattle are considered one of the gentlest breeds, and even a hand-raised bull...
I'll apologize for this in advance.
Metafilter: will also happily fuck you up just because they don't like your face.
posted by BlueHorse at 8:28 PM on September 6 [1 favorite]
I grew up on a farm in SW Australia and we did what every farmer around us did: went roo shooting because roos are competitors for the grass sheep [$ units as one of Australia’s earliest colonial extraction industries] eat; their meat feeds working dogs; their pelts can make useful things if you’re patient with tanning them; their tails make good brawn.
Bucks were usually the targets for these shooting nights, but occasionally a doe would be shot. Her joey might be die with her, but sometimes it didn't and my sister and I would beg to take it home. We would bottle raise it, and it would live tamely in our home, but it was always a wild creature.
The male joeys would grow up and hop off back to the bush and just come back for visits, cuddles, some treats and leave again. Female joeys would more often grow into petdom and stay with us till the end, when she would be mourned deeply. The mental schism of farming is that we conduct animal slaughter and yet we have those same kinds of animals in our homes, give them names and pamper them.
These pets were fiercely loyal to us but a demon to intruders, and a claw unit of violence against flapping sheets on the clothesline. Our tiny country fairs would routinely have a few kangaroos on leads for prizes in the pet parade. Most of our neighbours had pet roos too but they were also scary guard animals of their people’s yards.
I can’t count the amount of times I was bailed up trying to get to a neighbour’s outdoor loo, screaming for my mother to come rescue me. I watched a wild roo chase a kelpie working dog into a dam and try to drown her. It would have been a successful manoeuvre if the roo had not been shot during the fracas. I have had two bucks chase me when I have been out riding bush firebreaks, and they’ve gotten territorial scaring my horse and then matching my ex-racehorse’s full gallop through the bush. I’ve seen many a buck fight and it is a brutal and exhausting affair. The juveniles start fighting almost as soon as they can hop and the fight for ascendancy is practised non-stop until death. Kangaroos are very dangerous creatures, and they are huge with every part of their bodies honed to slash and wind you.
A few years ago my Minnesota Man was out here in Western Australia and we were farm-sitting for some friends. A huge, wounded old buck had been chased out of his mob and he was limping and exhausted. He lay by the lake and he was really not doing well. I rang the owners and asked if they had a rifle to put it out of its misery. They didn’t. I got up the next morning and saw Minnesota Man walking towards this old guy with a matic to presumably knock it on the head. I was terrified for him, he was getting too close by the time I saw where he was. He should have known not to approach wounded animals from having a lot of hunting experience in his homelands, but kangaroos hadn’t registered the same consciousness yet. I had to yell at him to get back and walk back slowly. Sure enough that buck was already onto his approach and was rallying to his haunches and getting himself up to fighting position.
posted by honey-barbara at 12:54 AM on September 7 [7 favorites]
Bucks were usually the targets for these shooting nights, but occasionally a doe would be shot. Her joey might be die with her, but sometimes it didn't and my sister and I would beg to take it home. We would bottle raise it, and it would live tamely in our home, but it was always a wild creature.
The male joeys would grow up and hop off back to the bush and just come back for visits, cuddles, some treats and leave again. Female joeys would more often grow into petdom and stay with us till the end, when she would be mourned deeply. The mental schism of farming is that we conduct animal slaughter and yet we have those same kinds of animals in our homes, give them names and pamper them.
These pets were fiercely loyal to us but a demon to intruders, and a claw unit of violence against flapping sheets on the clothesline. Our tiny country fairs would routinely have a few kangaroos on leads for prizes in the pet parade. Most of our neighbours had pet roos too but they were also scary guard animals of their people’s yards.
I can’t count the amount of times I was bailed up trying to get to a neighbour’s outdoor loo, screaming for my mother to come rescue me. I watched a wild roo chase a kelpie working dog into a dam and try to drown her. It would have been a successful manoeuvre if the roo had not been shot during the fracas. I have had two bucks chase me when I have been out riding bush firebreaks, and they’ve gotten territorial scaring my horse and then matching my ex-racehorse’s full gallop through the bush. I’ve seen many a buck fight and it is a brutal and exhausting affair. The juveniles start fighting almost as soon as they can hop and the fight for ascendancy is practised non-stop until death. Kangaroos are very dangerous creatures, and they are huge with every part of their bodies honed to slash and wind you.
A few years ago my Minnesota Man was out here in Western Australia and we were farm-sitting for some friends. A huge, wounded old buck had been chased out of his mob and he was limping and exhausted. He lay by the lake and he was really not doing well. I rang the owners and asked if they had a rifle to put it out of its misery. They didn’t. I got up the next morning and saw Minnesota Man walking towards this old guy with a matic to presumably knock it on the head. I was terrified for him, he was getting too close by the time I saw where he was. He should have known not to approach wounded animals from having a lot of hunting experience in his homelands, but kangaroos hadn’t registered the same consciousness yet. I had to yell at him to get back and walk back slowly. Sure enough that buck was already onto his approach and was rallying to his haunches and getting himself up to fighting position.
posted by honey-barbara at 12:54 AM on September 7 [7 favorites]
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posted by mhoye at 10:57 AM on September 5 [28 favorites]