What're You Doing That You Didn't Expect to Be Doing? (Free Thread)
September 16, 2024 8:06 PM   Subscribe

Since nobody's posted a new free thread yet today, at the tail end of the evening I figured what the hell. Ruminate on the topic, go free form, whatever - this is Liberty Hall; you can spit on the mat and call the cat a bastard! (h/t languagehat). But no politics, please!
posted by Greg_Ace (91 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
 
I expected to be camping in the mountains with some friends, but a combination of cold wet weather and a still-in-effect fire ban put the kibosh on that. Chilly damp weather I can handle, but chilly damp weather without a cozy campfire to gather around? Yeah, that's my limit. Still taking the week off though, I've got some puttering around that I haven't gotten to yet...
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:08 PM on September 16 [9 favorites]


I didn't expect to become president of my local Audubon society, but here I am.
posted by mollweide at 8:13 PM on September 16 [30 favorites]


I've had a wild day that includes being steaming angry and also seeing the Goodyear Blimp. Life contains multitudes. I also got to make a new recipe tonight, a chili cornbread casserole.
posted by knile at 8:13 PM on September 16 [5 favorites]


Right, you bastards. Which bastard called this bastard’s cat a bastard
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 8:19 PM on September 16 [1 favorite]


I assumed that would be cornbread with chili seasoning in it, rather than chili topped by cornbread (which is also fine). So what the hell, I'm going to try coming up with a chili-seasoned cornbread recipe - with cheese, of course!
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:23 PM on September 16 [3 favorites]


Are you even a cat owner if you haven't called your cat a bastard at least once?
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:24 PM on September 16 [17 favorites]


I assumed one of the benefits of having both cats and children is that you can call or say things to your cat things you can't to your children.
posted by mollweide at 8:27 PM on September 16 [6 favorites]


I see I need to up my A. Bertam Chandler.
posted by y2karl at 8:37 PM on September 16 [1 favorite]


...and if you've ever upped your Chandler, you know how painful that can be...
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:42 PM on September 16 [5 favorites]


My newest habit is I must have two hot dogs, microwaved for one minute before I lay down to read at night. One goes on a slice of Pepperidgre Farm white bread, the other no bread. German mustard and sweet relish. And Kool aid, cherry if I have Nathan's hot dog micro up swell.
posted by Czjewel at 8:52 PM on September 16 [7 favorites]


After 18 apartments and 24 years of renting I woke up this Saturday morning, idly browsed through Zillow, saw something that ticked every box for me. By Monday evening I had an agent, a pre-approved loan, and made an offer. We'll see what happens next but I feel like I woke up a completely different person two days ago and the rest of me is still processing / wondering what the fuck just happened. Kinda weird to just randomly one day begin acting like an adult at 44, but here we are? I guess?
posted by Ryvar at 10:09 PM on September 16 [48 favorites]


I was pleased to get a good grade at my six-month cancer follow-up (eight since surgery but six since my last checkup). Also good news from my rheumatology checkup and the one test back is within normal limits for me. Inflammation markers were what set me on the hunt that led to my cancer diagnosis.
posted by gentlyepigrams at 10:15 PM on September 16 [29 favorites]


Czjewel, now I want hot dogs. Yum.
posted by kristi at 10:21 PM on September 16 [2 favorites]


Speaking German. (Longer scope). Didn’t see that coming. Much less moving to Germany and then staying. Thought the rest of my life would spool out in New York.

No regrets but a real zig I did not see coming.
posted by From Bklyn at 10:39 PM on September 16 [10 favorites]


Belated Happy Birthday!, Greg_Ace. I’m glad you were born and I’m glad you choose to spend some of your time here!

How is (note that I’m not saying 'how was') that bottle of Scotch — or was it Bourbon? I didn’t think it would be quite kosher to look back and see which.
posted by jamjam at 10:43 PM on September 16 [3 favorites]


I bought this tiny pc. The one on the right, raspberry pi for scale.

intel n100 16gb lpddr5 1tb ssd win11pro

It's so cute. I'm using it to host a minecraft server.

I can't believe how cheap these are right now.

Anyone know how you'd power this with batteries? It uses 12v3aDC usb-c power.
posted by adept256 at 11:07 PM on September 16 [6 favorites]


I had a pretty nice vacation that ends tomorrow. Just saw Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, which I'd say is worth streaming but not worth box office tickets. Good, just not as wildly creative as the original.
posted by LeRoienJaune at 11:12 PM on September 16 [1 favorite]


Just home from work. I am employed by the BC Government in the massive booze warehouse our provincially run liquor system requires.
For the past 9 weeks I have been a relief supervisor. I'm 59 and I suck at the computer side of things, also because my primary compute has always been a Mac and work uses Windows.
I am very good at being on the floor; our production supervisor is obsessed with metrics, but we need a presence on the floor. I essentially ride herd on a 150 staff. There are other supervisors but I am on the floor the most.
So, I walk. The warehouse is 400K square feet and I walk, and I walk, and I walk. It's actually been great, all the walking. Some days it's up to 20K steps.
Anyways, I am at home now, being tired, and relaxing by coming to this site, which I do often, and I realized to today how much better I am feeling, physically, with all the walking I do now.
So yeah, walking. Who knew?
posted by Phlegmco(tm) at 11:30 PM on September 16 [23 favorites]


I am going to Hampton Court on Friday, which I didn't expect. Should be fun, for some values of fun anyway (parent with dementia is among the company, general exhaustion). Must re-listen to the Not Just the Tudors podcast episode about it.

In other news, I need to go cold turkey on my Wikipedia editing obsession, I think, which is negatively affecting other areas of my life. The dopamine hit of adding content and references ...

I also need to get on with self-marketing - freelance worker - which I hate and fail at. Talked to marketing people a few years ago and they said you must have an origin story and talk about your passion for the work. I cannot do that - my idea of selling myself is along the line of "I could do a thing for you which you might possibly find useful, don't worry if not though".
posted by paduasoy at 1:05 AM on September 17 [6 favorites]


I'm not even supposed to be here today
posted by chavenet at 1:13 AM on September 17 [18 favorites]


My refrigerator is on the fritz and I have a new one scheduled to be delivered in one week. And this is a surprisingly good thing. Since having my life upended over two years ago then finally being able to return home, then more recently recovering from surgery....well, my place has not been well tended and I've been overwhelmed and stuck on where to begin. Apparently this was the kick in the butt I needed.

I now have a very wide and unobstructed path from the front door to the kitchen and have almost decided that I am allowed to plan to replace the worn out carpet in the next year. I have actually never purchased anything so extravagant; yet, it's going to happen.
posted by mightshould at 1:14 AM on September 17 [9 favorites]


I didn't expect to be on a conference call this morning, with my father, a man from his Medical Aid, and my father's two dogs Nishke and Carlotta. After my father and his dogs signed off, the Medical Aid guy dropped his professional persona and reverted to his normal accent to say "Ag shame" a few times.
posted by Zumbador at 1:19 AM on September 17 [3 favorites]




Anyone know how you'd power this with batteries? It uses 12v3aDC usb-c power.
You can get USB-C triggers (like this on amazon) and then you could easily run it off a USB power bank. You MUST confirm the output voltage from the trigger is correct, they are really commonly mislabeled and you might get 20V rather than 12V.

You will also need to confirm that your battery will output 12V, but just buy one that claims to do so.

But yeah, check the voltage or your update might be "I wasn't expecting to kill my new micro pc"
posted by adventureloop at 1:46 AM on September 17 [2 favorites]


I wasn't expecting, in early retirement, to be leading a campaign against the City and a park authority to get a planned construction access route changed, so that it doesn't mess up the park behind our house so much for a few years. My righteous NIMBY anger connected with my latent obsessive streak, and it's been nearly 7 weeks of research, scheming, writing letters and flyers, launching a petition, reaching out to interested groups, measuring trees. Not how I'd hoped to spend the latter half of the summer.

Turns out I'm not bad at it, but I hate being forced to take this on. I was never a happy manager. My sleep has gone to shit (he typed at 5 am) and I have a really short fuse these days. Hoping that it gets resolved one way or another before December at the latest, and I can get back to not being obsessed or compelled 24/7 by anything.
posted by Artful Codger at 2:27 AM on September 17 [3 favorites]


I thought I'd be a programmer in New York or a literature teacher at some tweedy university, but I (currently) have a bed and breakfast in very remote La Pampa, Argentina. Life has had a lot of surprises. I hope there's a lot more coming.
posted by conifer at 2:43 AM on September 17 [15 favorites]


....So when I first joined here, I was in a semi-stable job - stable enough - and was coupled with the guy I thought was The One. About a year later, the guy dumped me - and then a few months later the recession hit (yep, the one in 2008), and my job went poof too.

Ever since then I have been mostly trying to stabilize the shifting sands under myself - job after job, misfortune after misfortune. In 2000 I ended up in a job that I thought would finally "take" - it did stick around long enough that I could wipe out all my debt, but then last year it went belly-up on me too. (It left me with enough of a nest egg to supplement the patchy employment I had for the past year.)

I'm now a month and change into another job I think is going to take - at least, I trust it to the point that my brain and heart are very, very slowly starting to come around to thinking that it's safe to start exploring things for myself above and beyond "how the fuck am I going to pay rent."

I have no idea where those explorations are going to lead. But I think I need it.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:46 AM on September 17 [20 favorites]


About a month ago a doc friend sent me a posting for a newly created position. Formal interview #2 today, not counting all the other highly positive encounters with potential future team members in the interim. I'm at the right point career-wise to be the person who shapes a new piece of hospital infrastructure, but I am kind of dreading the meeting I'm probably going to have with my current supervisor when I come back from a long-planned international vacation
posted by cobaltnine at 4:33 AM on September 17 [4 favorites]


Being a grandfather. Never did I ever think I’d be a grandfather (or a father for that matter.) Now, I’m on my way to being a 3-time grandpa. Still feels really weird, though.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:37 AM on September 17 [11 favorites]


In April of 2023 my wife and I took a "Into to long sword" workshop put on by a local HEMA (Historical European Martial Arts) club. She liked it okay, but I really took to it and went back the next week for my first free class. Now its about a year and a half later and I own several swords, a full set of protective gear, and just recently was chosen to fill the vice president spot for the club. Sometimes I am still trying to wrap my head about how all this happened.
posted by Captain_Science at 4:47 AM on September 17 [6 favorites]


Bowling.
posted by kozad at 4:48 AM on September 17 [2 favorites]


Cleaning and tidying up my small garden after the heavy rains and strong winds that hit Vienna since friday. Normal rain in September is about 65 liters per square metre per month. From friday into last night there was over 300 liters in 4 days. The Underground (Metro) was flooded in parts and partially closed. article is in German but you can see the flooding, the river is not the danube, but a usually very shallow river called Wienfluss, and the Underground was closed because Wienfluss and Underground Line 4 run in parallel for long stretches. Also the Donaukanal, an artificial side arm of the danube flooded, partially into the Underground system.
But Vienna escaped lightly by comparison, the surrounding country side, especially north, totally went under.
posted by 15L06 at 4:59 AM on September 17 [4 favorites]


Walking!

It's come up in comments a couple of times, but I was run down at the beginning of January by a red light runner and now have a lot of titanium titanium in me:  4 bolts through my pelvis, rods running the length of my left leg, and about 20 pins and screws in my right knee.

Spent January and February either on my back or in a wheelchair, was able to start using a walker in March, ditched that for a cane in May, and just yesterday finally felt strong and comfortable enough to make a trip to the grocery store without the cane.  Real progress started only two weeks ago when I suddenly, if briefly, got my old gait back pacing around at work for some exercise, and the progress has rocketed forward since.

Man, what a grind this year has been.  Miles to go yet—still don't have enough range of motion in the right knee to ride a bike—but does it ever feel good to be able to go even short ways without the cane.  I knew from the start of this whole mess this is how recovery would go, long plateaus consolidating gains before jumping forward again, but this one really feels like normal is finally at least visible on the horizon.

What a relief.  2024 has sucked.
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 5:07 AM on September 17 [37 favorites]


Several things:
* I'm not doing it any more, but being a presenter on national TV. Never sought it out, never even dreamed of it, the job just kind of fell into my lap. A fun eighteen months.
* Communicating multiple times a day with friends and colleagues all over the world, often with video, essentially for free. Science fiction of the 70s and 80s did not promise this.
* Most recently, becoming a Fellow of the Royal Society of Arts. An idle question to a friend, and a week later the letter of acceptance arrived. Nice.
posted by Hogshead at 5:09 AM on September 17 [3 favorites]


I had job where over time (decades) it had built up into such a big stressful situation. It was a constant process in the back of my head. I would never make plans because I was afraid I’d be called back to work and my phone was constantly going off. I was in charge, and had about 20 people I was responsible for, who had varying degrees of “give-a-shit”.

And then I left. My phone got quiet. It was freaky. A month of panic, and then rejuvenation as the old job stripped away from my thought processes.

Opportunities started to come because I had a great reputation for what I do (teaching within your field is a great way to network), and then I got a new job. The new place hired me on to get my foot in the door with a mind to putting me over the department at some point in the not too distant future. Maybe it’ll happen.

For now, I am enjoying not being in charge, being responsible for only me.

I’m walking a bunch, 15,000 steps a day. I’m way more active, and had the luxury of building the activity bit by bit. My weight has been coming down. I am bringing my lunch (less pay than I used to make, so being prudent), and as a result, I am eating way better - small bits every few hours - never getting full, but never getting “empty”, either. I am now down to the lowest I’ve weighed since I was in my mid 20’s. Walking is easier, my knees and ankles don’t feel as sore as they used to. It took a bit to get my head settled in - panic not required here. I am finally calm, and sleeping much better than I have in years. The job leaves my head as I leave work, and I listen to music instead of relitigating the day in my head. Sometimes I sing along.

The world didn’t end.

My wife is awesome! She dealt with my crazy (arguable, she still is), helped me sort, has made it easy to have the good eating choices that are contributing to my health gains. As I have less stress, I realized how much crap I had been putting her through - I “see” her way more than I used to. I am in the moment, where before I was always only part there, as I always had that damn job in my head… yes, I have thanked her and apologized.

As an aside, I also had a pretty big Diet Pepsi habit. New place has no drink machines, so I have been drinking nothing but one morning cold brew and water. What a difference!

I wish I’d have moved on sooner. I shit you not…
posted by kabong the wiser at 5:10 AM on September 17 [8 favorites]


I didn't expect to be letting my dog run around like a puppy and live cone-free. He had an encounter with a possum last Tuesday and ended up with lots of body bites/scratches, but the worst part was he got a pretty nasty corneal injury. The vet said absolute best case scenario would be healing within 7 days, but it was a pretty big injury which required some sedated debridement, so he expected a couple weeks. He had his follow-up with a different doc yesterday, and the eye healed so well, the doc double checked with my husband "are you SURE this is the eye that was injured?" Such a relief to have him healing well and back to expending all his energy.

Dodger tax
posted by obfuscation at 5:30 AM on September 17 [9 favorites]


When I joined this site, I thought I'd be a scientist, instead, many years later I work in finance. The switch to financial services was dumb luck, but I learned that I value healthcare and long-term financial security much more than 20 yr old me expected.
posted by larthegreat at 5:35 AM on September 17 [2 favorites]


I never knew that frugality measures - comparison shopping, figuring out which foods have the most protein bang for the buck, skipping even "cheap" restaurant meals in favor of home-prepared food, eschewing discretionary purchases - could be so rewarding. But I have an autist's systematizer brain, and these activities really scratch that itch.

So even though some of the circumstances around these new frugality practices Aren't Great, the practices themselves are much more enjoyable than I thought they would be.
posted by rabia.elizabeth at 6:14 AM on September 17 [6 favorites]


I didn't expect to be fussing around with vintage computer hardware, but that turned out to be my new hobby starting last year! Bit burned out due to other stuff so I haven't been doing much on it, but it's what I'm looking forward to getting back to when I get some spoons back.

Last week, spoons were already in short supply because my housemate was off on a business trip, so I was holding down the fort solo, including taking care of our fresh litter of 6 kittens plus their mama.

And then sometime overnight before Wednesday morning, mama pulled the fan out of the window, tore a hole in the screen, jumped out of the second floor window across to my neighbor's roof, and escaped. (Spoiler: don't worry, she's fine, we got her back.)

I was a complete wreck that day, searching for her and worrying. She must have been hiding somewhere I couldn't find her, because in the evening she came out crying for the kittens (and for food), and with the aid of some expert cat trappers we got her retrapped and safe inside. Not opening up those windows again for anything until we have that girl spayed and adopted out.
posted by notoriety public at 6:47 AM on September 17 [5 favorites]


Looking for a job at age 62.
posted by Larry Duke at 6:49 AM on September 17 [6 favorites]


I didn't expect the short film I worked on last weekend would have gone as well as it had -- lots of the crew had come on only in the past few weeks, if not only days. The rough parts were mostly due to that unfamiliarity with the rest of the crew and the script -- we had two camera guys for some reason, but only my camera, and we scrounged up a DSLR for the other camera person to get some extra shots with, until its battery died with no spares or way to charge it; the director was also an actor, which I didn't realize until after the first scene because she initially felt uncomfortable giving orders while on-set in character, so I had been looking to the assistant director, was understandably not in the position to make decisions; I had to train the sound guy how to use my sound recorder (which I somewhat expected). There were some storyboards but due to limitations on-set they were mostly guidelines.

But -- the on-set vibe was easygoing and creative and positive. The longest scene was on a boat, a small pontoon, and I was blissfully ignorant going into this about the practical issues of operating a camera on the water. I made a few small mistakes but nothing that would require reshoots or anything (as far as I can tell at this point). Nothing is more exciting than getting home, putting the memory card into the computer, and pulling the footage up on my big 4K monitor and realizing it worked despite everything.

I'm not the editor -- I'm not entirely sure who the editor will be but it sounds like the cinematographer will be doing so -- but for simplicity sake I'm going to apply the color correction LUT to the footage, sync the sound, and create easy-to-edit files from my footage for whoever does edit.

It just amuses me, but I'm still at 100% for my statistic of "is the sound guy in a band?" They always are.
posted by AzraelBrown at 6:49 AM on September 17 [6 favorites]


Thanks to a work-sponsored class, I take a very intense boot camp-style class every Monday at lunch in the actual building I work in (it's a giant campus, so dumb luck). I've always been a workout before or after work person (at a nearby gym) but having a class in the middle of the day is fantastic. I feel like I'm getting away with something (I am, I have more free time at home with my doggo).
posted by honey badger at 6:57 AM on September 17 [1 favorite]


I didn't expect to be a librarian; my intent when going off to college was to go to grad school and become a counseling psychologist. (I now realize that that desire was strongly influenced by having a really good psychotherapist in high school, and only later understanding that he was at or near the top of his profession, and that having a good experience with a therapist no more qualifies one to be one oneself than having a good experience with auto repair qualifies one to do that.) I finished my bachelor degree and did crap minimum wage jobs for a few years; one of the few fulfilling things that I did was volunteer for a local crisis hotline, and I eventually realized that one of the most fulfilling things about that was doing information and referral, and that librarians did a lot of that. So.

More recently, I didn't expect to replace my car quite so soon, but after a lot of driving the weekend before last (I did the Door County Century, which was quite enjoyable), my car went into "limp" mode, i.e. something that I was unaware of: if the car is having engine trouble, it automatically throttles down to enable one to either get the car to a repair place or home without damaging the engine further. I just had a pretty expensive repair and knew that it would be some time before I could even get the car looked at, and decided to pull the plug. I managed to get a decent deal on a new Subaru Impreza; I will miss my little Honda Fit, and would have replaced it with another one if Honda were still making them, but the Subie is soooooooooo nice.
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:58 AM on September 17 [2 favorites]


I'm running again! Two weeks and change ago I went to a swim club with some friends where they had Olympic diving platforms. I love jumping into water! So I did a couple of headers off of the 3 meter and then went up to the 7 meter, where I did 3 successful foot-first jumps. On my fourth, I sort of causally walked off the platform to gain style points. I somehow rotated forward slightly so that, when I hit the water, it punched me in the ribs, hard. That ended my swim day, and I spent the rest of my time there with a Batman blue raspberry ice pop pressed against my injury. The next day I felt OK, but the day after that the real pain set in, and it was, as anyone who's had an intercostal rib strain knows, hard to sleep.

Healing time for a grade 1 strain is between 2-4 weeks. I have my hometown 10K (and 30th high school reunion(!!!)) this Saturday and have been unsure if I'd be ready for it because of the rib thing. This morning I decided to go on a run to see if I could manage, fully committed to just bailing if I got any indication that I was re-injuring myself. To my delight, there was no re-injury, and it looks like I'll be able to run the 10K after all. So, huzzah!
posted by grumpybear69 at 7:00 AM on September 17 [5 favorites]


Running a theatre company in small town Montana. I left the state after graduating with a computer science degree, never expected to come back. Weird.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 7:03 AM on September 17 [3 favorites]


Woodworking at a higher level than I’d ever reasonably expected. Making very accurate reproductions of Egyptian furniture from first-hand examination, photographs and photogrammetry means that every piece pushes me into unknown territory. I've had horribly difficult and disappointing moments but it's done wonders for my problem solving skills and my emotional self-regulation.
posted by brachiopod at 7:13 AM on September 17 [6 favorites]


I never expected that I would be a health sciences librarian.

Librarian, certainly. I first declared my intention to work in a library when I was about six years old. But I always thought, if I can't get hired as an academic librarian in the fields I actually studied and am good at, how am I going to get hired as an academic librarian in something like health sciences, which I haven't studied since high school biology?

It turns out that this is mostly a matter of supply and demand, and although there are many, many librarians who want to work in social sciences and humanities, the competition isn't as fierce in health sciences, and it's kind of okay that I have basic college statistics, as much layperson health knowledge as you might get from being annoyed and skeptical about the latest social media health-related moral panic, and the ability to be curious about the research that the faculty are doing.

I like it more than I expected. I also feel like I can't possibly do enough with service and teaching and publications in the next 3.5 years to get promoted (and this is a job where either you get promoted to Associate Librarian in a particular time frame or your contract doesn't get renewed), so I'm anxious all the time. But I'm glad to be here.
posted by Jeanne at 7:35 AM on September 17 [3 favorites]


Making hard apple cider and apple cider vinegar from apples from our own tree. Closing a pool I'm surprised is there, and am conflicted about keeping. Looking forward to cleaning out the HVAC room in the basement where I stored lots of cardboard and foam core moving materials that I plan to make into spooky decor for my front yard. Planning to build up a cinder block fund so I can build the pizza oven grill smoker spit station of my dreams. Running up and down stairs easily now and enjoying the hell out of Project Farm tool comparison videos because I need lots of tools now. Thinking about going outside tonight at dusk as I see the moonflower vine has buds on it, and if I can get a couple pics of this month's harvest moon/partial eclipse/supermoon, over the moonflowers.
posted by winesong at 7:36 AM on September 17 [6 favorites]


I didn't expect to have a quiet week at work, but I seem to be getting one. *touch wood* plenty of "I'll get to that later" items on the to do list to keep me occupied, but nice to not have a crunch (and getting ahead on some end of quarter things that would otherwise be annoying in a couple of weeks)

It is not quite cold enough for comfort food fall just yet, but I am roasting a chicken and making caramelized onion mac n cheese for dinner tonight anyway, so I will be in good shape for leftovers if my quiet week takes a turn for the busy.
posted by the primroses were over at 7:48 AM on September 17 [4 favorites]


Deeply depressed and going through one hell of a midlife crisis. I never expected to be such a goddamn cliché. White cishet dude with a liberal arts BA and professional masters' who worked his way up to a VP at the world's largest engineering firm (after stints with famous architects, startups, and a beloved time as an Imagineer). I quit my job for mental health reasons last July and have done nothing since except ride my bike, play Civilization, and have anxiety attacks whenever I start looking for work because a) I no longer believe in what I dedicated the last two decades of my life to and b) there are no goddamn jobs anyway. I did not expect the things that I believed to be permanent and stable in my life (like my eyesight and fitness) to vanish, and I am unprepared.

I know -- middle-aged guy discovers aging, how original.

But I did not expect to experience this much loss so quickly in my 40s. And now the savings are depleted and I'm now feeling like a massive drain on my family and friends and it's really hard to keep going when all the unexpected stuff is demoralizing, would really love to experience a delightfully unexpected something.
posted by turbowombat at 8:07 AM on September 17 [13 favorites]


Breathing.

You know those “where do you see yourself in 5 years?” questions they ask at school and job interviews? Since I was about 13 the honest answer has been “I literally can not imagine myself in 5 years, I literally lack the capacity. I don’t see myself existing in 5 years, so probably dead is the best answer I can give”.

Anyways, this place now has the longest record of my life and thoughts, I did BND a few times, and my therapist says that I could use my history here to extrapolate into the future. In five years I expect to be reading mefi and being surprised at the new usernames and feeling a pang of nostalgia when someone mentions one of the long lost ones.
posted by Dr. Curare at 8:36 AM on September 17 [9 favorites]


Turbowombat, I also quit a pretty good job at a pretty large firm 6 years ago for mental health reasons. Depleted my savings, felt like a failure, had a mental breakdown triggered by anxiety.

Ruined my knee and had to stop riding bikes, my eyesight is shit, but I have finished civ vi with every civ at emperor level, now I am going for god level. Just in time for civ VII in February.

Took me a few tries, but found a great job at 44, and a great mental health doctor. Things are looking good, and I think I got over the worst of a midlife crisis by buying a decent telescope and building 3D printing and cnc machines. Cheaper than hair plugs and a sports car.
posted by Dr. Curare at 8:42 AM on September 17 [6 favorites]


a chili-seasoned cornbread recipe - with cheese, of course! This is the recipe from Beard on Bread, one of my very first and still favorite cookbooks and it is amazing.
posted by mygothlaundry at 8:47 AM on September 17 [3 favorites]


My midlife crisis, considerably extended, has made me a market gardener. On a minuscule scale currently but have bought land to scale up to merely tiny.

Software-> food gardening is so cliché there’s a cartoon about it, which needs a third panel, in which the farmer is thinking wistfully of health insurance.
posted by clew at 8:50 AM on September 17 [3 favorites]


I knew I was going to be an actor/singer in musical theater. I took voice lessons and dance lessons and acting lessons and was in every school musical and every school play. Since "artsy" people are "good at English and bad at math," I stopped taking math as soon as I was allowed to stop taking it. Boo math! I went to a university known for its theater department. We had to take two gen-ed math courses, but theater students were allowed to take things like "Logic" and have it count as a math course (which is what I did, along with everyone else in my acting class).

And I was, for a span of time in my 20s, employed as a professional actor and singer. Due to various health issues and financial realities, that went away, and I fell backwards into web design in the '90s when everyone was self-taught. Did that at WTTW and WFMT Chicago for four years, then I decided to go back to school and get an education degree to teach English Language Arts, since I always liked teaching and it seemed like a good time to do it -- but I had to take the GRE. So I got a few of the usual "How to Pass the GRE" books, and realized I wasn't bad at math after all, and I actually kind of liked it.

And in the middle of my studies the economy crashed. I went back into the private sector for a few hellish years, but I kept thinking about those GRE books.

What with one thing and another, I now have my own tutoring business -- for math.

(And English Language Arts too, but that's dilutes the end of the story)

The best part is getting to tell my students how much I hated math when I was in school and how much I love it now.
posted by tzikeh at 8:53 AM on September 17 [9 favorites]


I tried that and I got a sleepy side-eye and a big stretch.
posted by credulous at 9:32 AM on September 17


If you had told me a decade ago that in four years I'd be living on the far west coast of the US in a town I had never heard of in a place (Oregon) that I only dimly knew even existed, I would have said you were crazy. Coming up on six years here and I regret nothing. I miss my friends but not the crowded craziness of the east coast. Which is not to say that this is perfect, because nowhere is and of course there are issues. Still. For 8 or so months of the year (damn you, summer and your relentless beachgoing people; I stand with winter!) I can drive 20 minutes to walk for an hour on a perfect deserted sandy ocean beach. That plays a key role in my sanity. I also got a career back here: in my late 50s I ended up back in an office job with real benefits, my first in years and I had given up hope. Now I even have a pension plan.

I didn't think I'd ever have a grandchild and now I am MumMum, the great and powerful, rider of trolleys and player of games.

and on the somewhat less cheery side, I didn't think my kids would move back and never move out again, that it would take us all to make it work, that I'd be seriously contemplating the family compound life forever or that my siblings would run upon such hard times. To be truly dark, I never expected that Trump of all horrible people would rise up out of the flotsam of the 80s to ever be president, that there would be a pandemic, that I would lose all faith and hope in humanity, that it would be 2024 and not only would there not be socialized medicine in this country but that healthcare would be even worse, that the housing crisis would be terrifying in its scope or that the cost of groceries would skyrocket the way it has with no end in sight.
posted by mygothlaundry at 9:36 AM on September 17 [13 favorites]


following in the wake of mygothlaundry I never saw myself cleaning up human feces behind the restored train station (I helped restore, and help manage as a community space).. I never saw myself telling a person they can't use the restored one-room school house I also helped restore--no plumbing, no heating--for a permanent residence. The person has mental health issues and the agreement was a rent-free space to do their therapy art, but they have taken the proverbial mile and Sunday's visit reveals a bed in the basement and it's just a lot. They can't live there, and they are the lucky ones with a lot of family in the area but the precarity that keeps encroaching and the way we not only aren't solving problems but it all just keeps getting worse

people, I just want to chip in and help but just when you think you're doing something here you turn around and there is a whole fucking lot more that needs to happen
posted by ginger.beef at 9:53 AM on September 17 [5 favorites]


Honestly I think I've said this before, but the vast majority of my life is almost exactly as my 15 year old self would have predicted it. I mean, maybe at that point she'd have targeted a different destination city, but my type of job, the kinds of apartments I live in, the kinds of people I've been in relationships with, how I spend my time...all pretty much scans. Well, I get more exercise than she would have predicted but that's because 15 year olds don't have to think about exercise.

The unfortunate part of all this is that 15 year old me was a fucking idiot with bad plans.

So anyway, things are mostly as expected, for whatever that is worth. I suppose, as folks upthread have mentioned, that I'm mildly surprised at continuing to be alive, as I can't say I've mostly wanted to be over the years. But because I'm also a pessimist, I always did kind of expect that I'd be stuck here anyway, lol.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:58 AM on September 17 [6 favorites]


Didn't think I'd be making as much money as I am and still not be able to afford to live without a roommate.
posted by greta simone at 10:13 AM on September 17 [4 favorites]


Didn't think I'd be making as much money as I am and still not be able to afford to live without a roommate.

This was me up until two years ago when I "came into some money" (parents). 55 fucking years old, man. And I make good money! In any RATIONAL world, it would be more than enough -- hell, I'd be able to afford a house! But unless I want to live rurally (I don't), "decent money" isn't decent money anymore.
posted by tzikeh at 10:26 AM on September 17 [3 favorites]


I had given up hope on finding another job, much less finding one before I got fired. Or actually being wanted in a job. Also, where I work is kind of hilarious given my personal history with what the business handles. Yeah, never would have expected that.

I also never thought I'd be considered a singer, or that I'd ever get into any shows, given how I was regarded as the opposite of those things growing up.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:37 AM on September 17 [1 favorite]


Hopping back to what teenage me envisioned - I also thought I'd be an actress, and even thought I'd drive a taxi in the early days to support myself. However, coming to college for theater in NYC taught me some important things:

1. I can't act,
2. Holy SHIT I don't want to after all, and
3. there is NO WAY IN ALL OF THE NINE HELLS I would dare drive a car in New York City, so taxis are out.

I fell into clerical work largely because I type fast (yay piano lessons) and because I have a weird knack for support-staff kinds of things that stage managers also do (and that was another thing I discovered in college, a theater role I was way better suited for).

And that segues into a quick "I never thought" about today - I didn't expect a major power outage affecting only certain select circuits in this building, on the same day as we were having a zoom meeting with my boss and the chief medical director so they could interview a potential new nurse. I thus also didn't expect to be crawling under the CFO's desk to steal his cameraphone because the only working computer in a room with light didn't have one....
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:41 AM on September 17 [3 favorites]


Less than 80 hours from when I started, I have an agreement to buy a condo for just under listed price. I am in shock and standing beside myself looking at myself: who is this person? On the unit itself: no regrets at all. Two beds, one bath, top floor of a century old multi-family home, all new hardwood floors, kitchen, HVAC, washer/dryer. Newish roof. It stands a half story taller than the surrounding buildings, meaning their roofs block street-level sound and it is library quiet. Palpably hushed and filled with sunlight instead of noise.

There are a couple minor rough spots inevitable with the age, and a portal to Narnia in the back of the pantry that will need a panel installed (read: open crawlspace with insulation and pipework), but… for me, in my lightly autistic game developer bachelorhood? It’s as close to perfection as I’ve ever seen.
posted by Ryvar at 11:00 AM on September 17 [30 favorites]


Well, Ryvar, I guess we'll see you over on the green in a few weeks, starting a decade of questions about faucets and flooring and fighting the HOA. :7) Congratulations!
posted by wenestvedt at 11:15 AM on September 17 [8 favorites]


Oh --- after being on Metafilter for decades now, I never would have expected Metafilter to become a prime source for Australasian flora and fauna news, thanks chariot pulled by cassowaries!
posted by AzraelBrown at 11:19 AM on September 17 [14 favorites]


I didn't expect to be in charge of anything more complex than a sandwich, but now I am a manager at work, chairperson of a local board of trustees, and member of another non-profit's board of directors. Who the hell listens to me?!

Also, I led the handful of late-season harvest volunteers last week, which felt super strange even though I've been working on that farm for...a decade now, whoa.
posted by wenestvedt at 11:19 AM on September 17 [6 favorites]


How is (note that I’m not saying 'how was') that bottle of Scotch

Still extant, as you surmised. It's Ardbeg Uigeadail, my current favorite; nice balance of malt, peat, and a whiff of salt sea air.

----

And geez - I just whined about not going camping; y'all's industry - and coping with all sorts of setbacks, hugs to everyone - have put me to shame!

Like someone upthread, I can only meet questions of "where do I see myself in 5 years" with a baffled shrug. I've always just sort of bumbled my way through life, taking it as it came and following the path of least resistance. Now thoroughly in Old status and a dollar or two short of being a "man of leisure", what the future holds for me is even murkier than before.

So yeah, walking. Who knew?

Indeed. I've been sedentary all my life. I hate exercise, I hate sweating. But about three years ago I started doing some stoopid exercise for my stoopid mental and physical health and goddammit, it has made a positive difference. Grump.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:25 AM on September 17 [6 favorites]


A couple of years ago, this would have been a great post for me -- back then I was on the board of our church, the board of a PTA, Little League coach ... and teenage metalhead me would be thinking, WTAF happened to you?

Now, though, just a guy working a remote gig in a house suddenly empty with the kids just left for college. Which I fully expected, but that doesn't make it any easier.
posted by martin q blank at 11:28 AM on September 17 [4 favorites]


I was a good little worker ant this morning and got all my work done in anticipation of nothing on my schedule and a good time to dive into a quality video game. Now, though, I've spent the last three hours on email and on the phone after several black male graduate students in the program I direct came to my office and explained to me that the lecturer teaching one of their classes segregated them off—literally, physically into a corner of the classroom—because people "like them" are "incapable of performing at the graduate level". This lecturer is an American woman of Middle Eastern descent who very vehemently identifies as a "woman of color" and who wears the chequered Palestinian scarf "in solidarity with the oppressed peoples of the world" though she is not herself Palestinian. So, you can probably understand what a shitshow this is turning into, especially once I confirmed from other students in the class that this has happened. I get to go talk to the provost tomorrow: joy.
posted by outgrown_hobnail at 12:13 PM on September 17 [15 favorites]


I didn't expect to be getting a hysterectomy this year, but there's 2024 for ya!

yeet the ute!
posted by supermedusa at 12:56 PM on September 17 [10 favorites]


Holy shit, outgrown. That is some, like, why are people? shit.
posted by Ryvar at 1:13 PM on September 17 [8 favorites]


I spoke to a room full of journalism students, who asked great questions and ate up my war stories, played decent pinball at league night and won my fantasy football matchup, even with Christian McCaffrey on the shelf. Tonight, I'll listen to the 15 Black Flag songs three guys and I are performing at a thing in November...
posted by AJaffe at 2:15 PM on September 17 [1 favorite]


All summer, I was falling down the deep hole of how weird American politics are right now, and thank goodness I am taking an in-person art class that has given me a reason to take an interest in how deeply weird ordinary people are as well. Taking the city bus is also enlightening. Today I witnessed someone swing around our bus and turn right in front of it so that it could wait for a light we were just passing, and everyone on the bus chuckled happily and shook their heads.

I also informally advise an assortment of wonderful women who call me to tell me about how weird their lives are, and I usually have a couple of calls a day of that sort. I listen as carefully as I can, and then I usually point out (a) that they have a lot going on and (b) they don't have much control over most of it, and then they get much more cheerful. It never fails to work and I have no idea why. I think it's the listening. I'm not good at it, mind you, but just trying to listen to people seems to have a good effect.
posted by Peach at 2:38 PM on September 17 [9 favorites]


I am putting off opening my work laptop and restarting an 11 hour suite of tests because I forgot the pipe output results to a text. Halfway closer to being finished.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 2:48 PM on September 17 [1 favorite]


I didn't expect to be down to four cats from the five I started this year with.

I lost my Bear to a suspected tumor/cancer of his airway. I couldn't let him suffer but losing him has broken my heart. He was the only boy cat in the house; I still have my four girls (the oldest is 18) but Bear and I had a special connection. I swear I saw him next to me the other night, and realizing he wasn't opened the wound again.

He came to me after a neighbor abandoned a LOT of cats into the neighborhood; he came around in late 2012/early 2013, so I have no idea how old he actually was (or two other cats who chose me from that situation too). I love all my cats...he was just a bit more special. It's been three plus weeks and I'm still having a hard time with this.
posted by annieb at 3:26 PM on September 17 [15 favorites]


I haven't made a sandwich in over a week because I took my kid to Japan as their graduation present. It was a very structured and short trip as my kid is on the spectrum but is really good at knowing their limitations, so the trip only lasted six days, four in Osaka, then a Shinkansen ride to Tokyo for a night then back to Osaka for our last day. We were there for one specific purpose and that was to purchase as much Pretty Cure merchandise exclusive to Japan as possible. They have loved that series for years and really wanted to geek out over it in Japan, so we visited two Pretty Cure stores and made the pilgrimage to Akihabara, the otaku and anime focused district in Tokyo. Our itinerary was pretty sparse really only including shopping, eating, and on the last day we went to see the brand new Pretty Cure movie in a theater packed with fans. They loved the experience of seeing a movie they wouldn't have access to in the US for years. The whole trip was a blast, even though I don't care an iota about the series, just watching my kid comb shop shelves for toys and blankets and figurines and plushies and collect a bounty of branded merchandise, and then sit in a theater and watch their heroes defeat an evil army of tanukis, their joy fed mine and I think I just had the best vacation ever.

We got back on Monday at 8 pm, and I took all day yesterday to try and catch up on sleep. I should admit that while I returned with zero Pretty Cure merchandise, I did get an awesome matchbox car version of the bullet train we rode and it's pretty cool and goes really fast. I also scored a Godzilla -1.0 hoodie and t-shirt at the Godzilla store in the Tokyo Shinkansen station mall. But the experience we shared was the real gift of this marvelous adventure.
posted by Stanczyk at 3:47 AM on September 18 [11 favorites]


I just lined up a 25-gig (5 weeks, 5 days a week, 3 hours a day) "long pose" as a figure model. Hopefully it won't be a standing pose (my poor feet)!
posted by ZenMasterThis at 5:29 AM on September 18 [3 favorites]


I didn't expect to be seeing a rheumatologist and a hematologist for an (as yet unspecified) autoimmune disease, or having such a crushing bout of fatigue after a bike ride I've done hundreds of times that I was wiped out for three days. It's not long covid, but all evidence points to it having been triggered by a really bad viral infection I had starting in December 2018. This is apparently the same mechanism causing people to end up with new autoimmune diseases after covid infections, just with a different infection at the start. I exercised regularly and had really good cardiovascular health before the fatigue really started increasing this year, but the numbers that are off in my blood test results started being off in 2019.

I also didn't expect, after years of telling myself that buying a new bike was a slippery slope I didn't need to be on, that I would up and buy a new e-bike so I can still get around town when transit isn't a great solution. Despite the fact that DC has one of the better transit systems in the US, there are way too many places that are an hour away by transit but only twenty minutes by bike. Not being able to hop on a bike and just go, without having to worry about my heart rate or stamina, was really going to hurt. My excitement at finally getting a new bike is tempered by the fact that I actually need it.
posted by fedward at 12:52 PM on September 18 [8 favorites]


We set up a new office, The Spectrum guy came and installed wifi, and set up a VOIP phone. I, a person with white hair and ovaries, bought a phone and went to connect it. There was a man in the office who insisted on helping, and getting under my desk to help, and pointing out a phone jack. I tried hard to be nice and kept saying I had it under control. Spectrum installer left a phone cable connected, so once I found it, all I had to do was plug in the phone. I was only an IT worker for 20 years, but I was able to accomplish this.

The man was a volunteer who said he'd be back and has not shown up again, and I suspect it's ruffled manfeathers. And it makes me tired.
posted by theora55 at 9:44 AM on September 19 [6 favorites]


I didn't expect to be a parent, ever, yet here I am with two fully functioning, adult people I gave birth to. The first one was a surprise (using three methods of birth control; that boy was meant to be) and we liked the first one so much that we had another. They're both (plus our daughter's fiance) coming home for the weekend and I couldn't be happier. I really thought I would be child-free until that line came up on the pregnancy test, and yes I had choices and yes I fully believed in those (and still do) choices.

Also grad school was unexpected at my old age but I'm having a great time and the degree should open lots more doors for me professionally.
posted by cooker girl at 10:57 AM on September 19 [6 favorites]


I really thought I would be child-free until that line came up on the pregnancy test, and yes I had choices and yes I fully believed in those (and still do) choices.

There's a few people who've told me that they honestly thought they'd be child-free until [insert a specific event here]. One of them said that their own "but then this happened" event was that they met and fell in love with someone that they realized "oh wait, I want to have kids with you specifically." ....And that's the hell of that relationship with the guy I thought was "the one" - because I had exactly the same "oh, wait, I think I actually want your kids" moment about him. ....And then the fucker dumped me and that was the end of that.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:13 AM on September 19 [5 favorites]


So many things...

This was not the life I ever expected. but too much of a vibe bummer so, a derail...

Shohei Otani...

Just fucking amazing. And, he's the best pitcher in MLB when he can actually pitch.
Hat tip to him...
posted by Windopaene at 5:04 PM on September 19 [2 favorites]


I made pasta fagioli tonight and it came out pretty terrific. America's Test Kitchen recipe for the win.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 5:33 PM on September 19 [1 favorite]


Nobody expected this.
posted by srboisvert at 7:54 PM on September 19


I was a good little worker ant this morning and got all my work done in anticipation of nothing on my schedule and a good time to dive into a quality video game. Now, though, I've spent the last three hours on email and on the phone after several black male graduate students in the program I direct came to my office and explained to me that the lecturer teaching one of their classes segregated them off—literally, physically into a corner of the classroom—because people "like them" are "incapable of performing at the graduate level". This lecturer is an American woman of Middle Eastern descent who very vehemently identifies as a "woman of color" and who wears the chequered Palestinian scarf "in solidarity with the oppressed peoples of the world" though she is not herself Palestinian. So, you can probably understand what a shitshow this is turning into, especially once I confirmed from other students in the class that this has happened. I get to go talk to the provost tomorrow: joy.

My wife has been chair of her department for the last three years and associate chair for years before that. It has been an endless stream of exactly this kind of crap. She just quit as chair before her term was up despite being excellent at it because all the non-stop crazy from her collogues was breaking her spirit. They had to bring in someone from outside the department to take over as chair because nobody in the department would touch the job.

Take care of yourself!
posted by srboisvert at 8:03 PM on September 19 [5 favorites]


DirtyOldTown, I think you meant pasta fazool! It took me about 20 years into adulthood to translate that New Jerseyism into an actual recipe.
posted by mollweide at 8:17 PM on September 19 [1 favorite]


Was put into a bit of A Mood last night - my boss is on a trip and there was a cock-up at the hotel, and she called me after business hours last night to get help getting her into a new hotel. This was a genuine emergency and it's part of the job, but something about being called to do work after hours still made me grumpy. After a good night's sleep, though, I did remember that part of the mood was probably fueled by a more general "why do I have to work at a job anyway, why couldn't I just be already fabulously wealthy and live on that" attitude that can't be helped. Having an idle summer kinda spoiled me a little, I think. So I'm focusing on sort of Reclaiming My Time the rest of this weekend - a little domesticity, a little idle exploration outside.

One thing I'm going to do today (yesterday was payday) is: I'm sucking it up and getting a small compact freezer. My roommate and i have been trying to cope with the sucky apartment-size fridge/freezer combo this apartment was saddled with, and overstuffing it is a big issue - he lives on a lot of frozen-veg-and-rice-in-a-rice-cooker concoctions, and I'm getting into a lot of freezer-based meal prep (single-serve portions of meals, freezing fresh veg from the farmshare, freezing cooked beans, etc.). We haven't been able to put an ice tray in the freezer for four months.

I found a mini freezer that will fit perfectly in a specific corner, and it'll be big enough for what I need - so I'm going to get that and turn the apartment freezer over to him, with one corner shelf in there set aside for "communal use" things like ice trays or ice cream. The mini freezer would also be a handy tabletop for things like a cake in a cake tin, a jar of cookies and a small teapot, or it could be an extra counter-space option for if I haul out the crock pot. I've even come up with an idea for how to get all decorative with it (read: just draping a sheet over it and then putting a tray on top).

Part of me feels like being excited about buying a mini-freezer means I am officially old, but part of me is saying "oh, shut up, you'll be able to do advance meal prep and that will buy you back some time."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:06 AM on September 21 [1 favorite]


Hey I just spent the day preparing to lead a workshop on how to get unstuck and deal with procrastination as a writer, and then computer said no and I couldn't log onto the system so had to cancel. Poop.
posted by Zumbador at 9:23 AM on September 21 [2 favorites]


Just got my latest Covid shot, and I literally didn't feel a thing. Either they're making needles smaller and smaller, or my upper arm nerves are getting deader and deader...
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:17 PM on September 21


On the other hand, next weekend I've got the latest flu shot scheduled, which usually hurts more and makes me feel substantially worse the next day, so I'm not out of the woods yet...
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:57 PM on September 21


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