I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6

November 4, 2024 9:23 AM

McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: Thank you for your email. This is an automated response to let you know that I will be away from my desk on Wednesday, November 6.
posted by AlSweigart (85 comments total)

Cosigned. Honestly, it's mostly because I will have worked a 15 hour day at the polls on Tuesday and deserve a day off no matter the outcome, but I'm very glad to not have to interact with anyone but my dog and husband on Wednesday. I will be coming back on Thursday unless... I don't.
posted by obfuscation at 9:29 AM on November 4 [16 favorites]

Well, that pretty much sums it up, yup. I'd like to laugh at this juncture, but find myself not quite able to do so. Sigh.
posted by dellsolace at 9:29 AM on November 4 [2 favorites]

This.
posted by uncle harold at 9:33 AM on November 4

I have an Important Business Meeting with one of my clients Tuesday morning (so that she doesn't have to go to *other* meetings which will consist solely of anxious people processing their election fears) and then I may well take myself off to a retail-worker-schedule-friendly Halloween party thrown by my ex-coworkers, who are all minimum fifteen years younger than me, which will at least be a distraction. Nevertheless, tomorrow will be bad.

Wednesday will be beyond imagining.
posted by restless_nomad at 9:40 AM on November 4 [8 favorites]

Yeah I am driving down the coast to a work conference on the 6th and my children told me I wasn't allowed to drive my old bumper sticker covered truck. Just in case, they said. There are crazy people out there, they said. Not a good idea, Mom. You never know.

I was not going to cave in, or I was going to temporarily hide my Biden/Harris and Harris/Walz and I Read Books Who Do You Think I'm Voting For? stickers and go anyway but, the decision was taken out of my hands. Fortunately or unfortunately, my truck overheard them and now he's making terrible clunk noises that mean I'm renting a nice, bland, anonymous car. I really hope I'm not just screaming the whole way down. I probably will be, though.
posted by mygothlaundry at 9:41 AM on November 4 [20 favorites]

I've been joking about undergoing elective sedation (closely related to electoral sedation) Tuesday at 6:00, with instructions to revive me in two weeks time.

The scary part is that by some accounts it could take days, even a couple of weeks, for some states to get all their ballots counted, including Pennsylvania. And of course, during that time the air will be filled with Trump, Musk, and all their hangers on doing their best to destroy and undermine the completion of the count and faith in it.

Sigh. On the other hand, I'm feeling pretty optimistic for Kamala now, so there's that.
posted by Winnie the Proust at 9:43 AM on November 4 [9 favorites]

They're really providing the emotional relief valve The Onion once did this time around.

See also:
Based on Our Election Forecast, We Are 100 Percent Sure Anything Could Fucking Happen
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:47 AM on November 4 [10 favorites]

Already picking out my soft clothes and snacks for the next few days. Hoping the in-person early and day-of voting is so overwhelming that the misplaced/lost/never-arrived mail-in ballots would not have been needed to make a call.
posted by beaning at 9:48 AM on November 4

Nailed it.
posted by Lynsey at 9:52 AM on November 4 [1 favorite]

Oh, how I wish I could actually laugh right now. This was great, and I love McSweeney's, but I'm just so completely and totally emotionally ... something? I'm not even sure. I will barely be at my desk today.
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 10:07 AM on November 4 [13 favorites]

I am pretty sure I know how Tuesday will go, I am keeping my optimism, but my wife is scheduled for a colonoscopy Wednesday so I'm drinking alone tomorrow night*. Hopefully a celebratory drink. But the next day? That's when we find out how bad the reaction will be. I do hope SOMEONE is smart enough to ensure they put a muzzle on that orange cretin so that we don't end up with another violent insurrection.

(*Bad news for my wife is that Tuesday evening will be shitty for her no matter what the election outcome is. Good news is that she'll for sure get a few hours of peace Wednesday, thanks to sedation.)
posted by caution live frogs at 10:11 AM on November 4 [7 favorites]

Much like the depiction of 45 in this past weekend’s SNL cold opening, this was a little too on point and I had to power through.

I would love to be a news void for the next several days. Not happening.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 10:12 AM on November 4 [2 favorites]

Someone on my team just tried to schedule a non-urgent meeting at 9am on Wednesday, with an alternate time for next week, and you can bet I definitely suggested we punt it to the next week.
posted by coffeecat at 10:18 AM on November 4 [3 favorites]

This - i literally did take a PTO day because my birthday is Wednesday. That adds extra layers of gratitude, excitement and dread. Lotsa emotions over here.
posted by Sparky Buttons at 10:18 AM on November 4 [10 favorites]

Our house has become the favored teen hangout of late, because we call people by their preferred pronouns, are seen as tolerable/borderline cool, keep a ton of food and snacks around, and have an 85" TV in the basement and several hundred Blu-Rays. We've been glad to be a refuge for kids, both on principle, and because, selfishly, it means we get to keep our kid close. So there are nearly always 1-5 extra kids around.

But we've told the teens in no uncertain terms that no guests are permitted on election night. We will be drinking wine and yelling/crying at the TV. This is extended panic attack time and we're not doing that with an impressionable audience. I don't need to get three glasses of wine in and start explaining to some poor kid about the history of fascism or what have you.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:19 AM on November 4 [46 favorites]

Working the polls Tuesday; appointment with therapist on Wednesday.

As JV Last says, "Good luck, America." Also, good luck, World. (I'm so sorry.)
posted by jaruwaan at 10:24 AM on November 4 [3 favorites]

Yup. That's it. Right there. That's the itch I needed scratched.

Mrs Inflatablekiwi is at a surrogacy/fertility conference this week so I get to watch it home alone (boo!). And either the election means for her business as (somewhat and at least not completely messed up) usual helping people, or Wednesday she has to go into some deep deep planning about how bad the coming years could be for people seeking or being pregnancy surrogates / egg donors. And the crazies are already coming out in droves around IVF/surrogacy/egg donation- so we also get to figure out as well if being in that industry will be a safe and smart thing for her to be doing, especially as we live in a red state. Fun!
posted by inflatablekiwi at 10:25 AM on November 4

Sparky Buttons I deeply, utterly, truly hope you get the best of all birthday gifts and wishes on Wednesday. We will all celebrate along with you. I will send you a fucking cake if Harris wins.
posted by supermedusa at 10:27 AM on November 4 [8 favorites]

Debbie Downer thought here -

If Harris wins, then I think we'll still need to worry about things in January when Congress is certifying the results again.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:32 AM on November 4 [14 favorites]

My wife and I talked about going camping and leaving our phones behind, but haven't made plans, so I guess that's not happening. But we agree that watching the returns is just going to be crazymaking. I might have a friend text me if there is a conclusive* result.

* Yeah, I know.
posted by adamrice at 10:35 AM on November 4

I'm kind of regretting not having purchased tickets for Gogol Bordello in Chicago Wed night, because I think one way or the other, they are liable to tear the roof off of the place.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:37 AM on November 4 [14 favorites]

If Harris wins, then I think we'll still need to worry about things in January when Congress is certifying the results again.

If the Dems take the house then they get seated at noon on January 3rd in time to certify the election results on January 6th with presumably Hakeem Jeffries as speaker. But if they don't...... *breathes into paper bag thinking about what Trump and Mike Johnson's plan is*
posted by inflatablekiwi at 10:46 AM on November 4 [10 favorites]

I meant to take Wednesday off but then somehow didn't. At least this time I'm braced and I have the rudiments of a long-term plan if everything goes completely to shit.

I'm not sure how I'm going to get through the night. In 2016, I was watching the returns, realized it was going to Trump about 7pm, panicked until about bedtime, fell into a kind of stupor and woke in the small hours to find that Trump had definitely won, after which I did not sleep any more. This time won't be as bad because I'm expecting Trump to win, but it will still be really horrible even if I have a strong drink (and I never drink, so a single strong drink of one of the baking liqueurs will get me pretty sloshed. We've got some kirsch and some creme de cassis and I feel like I have an emergency bottle of cider somewhere).
posted by Frowner at 10:48 AM on November 4 [3 favorites]

I'm hoping tomorrow night's show isn't the series finale and that democracy in the US gets picked up for another season.
posted by autopilot at 10:50 AM on November 4 [14 favorites]

I have a friend who is a smart person, a lifelong progressive activist, a legal studies nerd, and generally just a plugged-in type. He has this extended rant he does about how this time, if Trump loses, and if the certification doesn't get the traction he needs, there will be a very short window where he assesses the various challenges he has remaining to the election results. And if he doesn't like what he sees, he will quite suddenly fuck off to Qatar on a private plane to see to an important business opportunity or some such. At which point, he will stay in that place forever, avoiding extradition, hanging out on golf courses, and selling secrets to the highest bidders. That man is not gonna let himself be at risk of doing time.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:50 AM on November 4 [23 favorites]

This was perfect but at the same time I couldn't really find it funny because I'm so anxious. I'm not American but my husband is. We're in Europe but his family is in the US. It would be nice at some point to visit again and we even considered moving back to the US but this will also depend on how crazy things will get after tomorrow. Also, we are very concerned about the constant rise of the far right across Europe and how a possible Trump victory will embolden the European fascists even more, and they are already far too bold for our liking. And then there's Putin and oh dear. This is so not fun. I will have no nails left to bite by Wednesday
posted by bitteschoen at 10:53 AM on November 4 [4 favorites]

A-yup.

I was doing remarkably well at managing my election anxiety until last night when I started feeling really weird and had to look up the difference between derealization and depersonalization and whether they are mutually exclusive (they're not).
posted by deludingmyself at 10:55 AM on November 4 [5 favorites]

this was never going to be over tuesday night or wednesday or even this week. trump's plan was always to firehose lawsuits until the supreme court felt it could plausibly intervene to declare him winner. the word 'plausibly' is open for interpretation, but at this point it just means 'because we felt like it.' it's really down to how biden responds once the supreme court decides they are the final arbiters of electoral outcomes.

so it's gonna be a spell before we know what happens
posted by logicpunk at 10:58 AM on November 4 [3 favorites]

I don't think there is a single person here saying that it will be over if Harris wins tomorrow night.

What folks are saying is that it will be 100% over if she loses.

So, subsequent shenanigans still to come and still to be overcome, sure.

But yeah, tomorrow night is a pretty big deal.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:00 AM on November 4 [12 favorites]

And if he doesn't like what he sees, he will quite suddenly fuck off to Qatar on a private plane to see to an important business opportunity or some such. At which point, he will stay in that place forever, avoiding extradition, hanging out on golf courses, and selling secrets to the highest bidders. That man is not gonna let himself be at risk of doing time.

Honestly, a part of me would be absolutely fine with that because he would be that much easier for me to avoid.

(And it makes it likely that this scenario I envisioned in 2018 might play out.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:00 AM on November 4 [8 favorites]

I'm at a show (Andy Summers) Tuesday night and sleeping in on Wednesday if I can. If I worked, I'd be taking Wednesday off.
posted by gentlyepigrams at 11:06 AM on November 4

Once I get off work tomorrow, I plan to order some food, turn off the internet on my tablet, and read until bedtime, and check the headlines in the morning. That way I'll at least get some sleep. Of course, that didn't entirely work last time, as I had to mostly repeat that for days.
posted by tavella at 11:09 AM on November 4 [4 favorites]

breathes into paper bag thinking about what Trump and Mike Johnson's plan is

There are hypotheses out there, and they revolve around what happens on December 11th (before the next House is seated), but I'm doing everything possible to block that out of my head right now. One day at a time.
posted by JoeZydeco at 11:10 AM on November 4

I've been getting to know this cute guy from my local runners' group, and while I'm 98% sure it's just a friendship thing, I'm bringing over Thai food tomorrow night and we're going to turn off our phones and watch Enys Men. I wouldn't mind it becoming a platonic sleepover, if only because the oxytocin may prevent my anxiety from completely hurling me over the edge. But at least I'll have a nice memory on the precipice of whatever this becomes.
posted by mykescipark at 11:18 AM on November 4 [10 favorites]

Mykescipark, I'd totally float that in my case except he is out of town right now (sick parent and he's crashing at a house nearby, it's touch-and-go how permanent the resettle is).
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:25 AM on November 4 [1 favorite]

the anxiety level is pretty high in my house and it seems even to be affecting our cat. she's very demanding and screaming a lot despite near constant application of petties. I have topped up the Feliway diffuser, hopefully that will help.

I have been joking that I would be biting my toenails by now, were I flexible enough...
posted by supermedusa at 11:25 AM on November 4

I used to have a lot more patience for McSweeney's 20 years ago.

Personally I am hopeful that the results Tuesday are such an undeniable ratfuck-proof Harris landslide that all of the promised post-vote ratfucks get laughed off the TV set by Wednesday morning.

Not optimistic, but hopeful.
posted by Aardvark Cheeselog at 11:26 AM on November 4 [19 favorites]

That would be the absolute best possible outcome, for sure.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:33 AM on November 4 [3 favorites]

It is so weird and dystopian how people at my work and in my industry just avoid bringing it up in any capacity. It makes me feel insane to get on zoom calls with clients and vendors and everyone is like (cheerily) "how was the weekend?" "great weather" "oh how is it over there where you are? It was nice here too!" "Gotta love nice weather!" Like if it were the Friday before the Superbowl you would be hearing exponentially more about that. The election may as well not exist within the physical and digital walls of my job.

I'm not shocked that people go out of their way to avoid politics in the workplace but it will never stop feeling soooo alienating. On January 6 it was similar vibes - like I had CNN on in the background and dudes in ski masks were scaling the capital on my muted TV while I was on phone calls with people like "So when would you say that deliverable is due, how many slides do you think the client will want on this?" It could have been a scene out of Children of Men.
posted by windbox at 11:36 AM on November 4 [25 favorites]

not entirely satirical, alas. someone of my acquaintance is currently out of the country, and now he's waiting to see if he wants to come back.
posted by graywyvern at 11:40 AM on November 4 [1 favorite]

I took Wednesday and Thursday off, and I'm off Fridays. There's no way I would be functional at work if we take the unhappy path. My alcohol tolerance is astonishing these days.

I think these are the most likely outcomes, in order of probability:

1) Narrow Harris win
2) Big Harris win
3) Narrow Trump win
posted by kirkaracha at 11:45 AM on November 4 [7 favorites]

It is so weird and dystopian how people at my work and in my industry just avoid bringing it up in any capacity.

I work for a federal agency. There are a lot of... gaps ... in conversations.
posted by suelac at 11:46 AM on November 4 [11 favorites]

I get the sentiment but this piece really annoyed me. Most people I know are frontline service workers, they don’t work in offices, and they’ll be fired if they get into their feelings and don’t come in to work. They’re also one of the segments of the population (nonwhite, working class) most imperiled both by trump’s expected policies and by unrest if Harris loses. I know everything’s not for everybody but this felt exceptionally tone deaf.
posted by toodleydoodley at 12:03 PM on November 4 [5 favorites]

I dunno, I think, you know, women are a big enough class that it's not a crime to write something aimed at the white-collar ones.
posted by restless_nomad at 12:06 PM on November 4 [8 favorites]

Wednesday is my birthday. Please give me the gift I want. Tuesday is my wife’s birthday. Get her something nice. You can guess what.

Meanwhile I’ll be here vacillating between hope and dread.
posted by misterpatrick at 12:06 PM on November 4 [9 favorites]

Hey remember when those idiots stormed the capitol while a big chunk of us were trying Dry January?
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:36 PM on November 4 [8 favorites]

Sparky Buttons I deeply, utterly, truly hope you get the best of all birthday gifts and wishes on Wednesday.

At any rate I hope you get a better present than I got in 2016. I'm still salty about that one.
posted by Nerd of the North at 12:48 PM on November 4 [5 favorites]

cake for everyone!! (I hope. fingers crossed)
posted by supermedusa at 12:49 PM on November 4 [2 favorites]

On Thursday, Mrs. JimInSYR and I are heading to San Francisco for a four-day visit, where we hope we will be in a good place for sharing a celebration or seeking commiseration after the results become clear. Wednesday we hope to be busy enough cleaning house and packing to stay sane; I've also scheduled an oil change that day to help focus my frustrations on something up close, small, annoying, and routine.
posted by JimInSYR at 1:15 PM on November 4

If you've been volunteering, and if your local Harris campaign is hosting an election night party for volunteers, consider going to the party. Being around well-informed people is comforting.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 1:21 PM on November 4 [2 favorites]

And if he doesn't like what he sees, he will quite suddenly fuck off to Qatar on a private plane to see to an important business opportunity or some such.

For historical verisimilitude, it should be Buenos Aires.
posted by Mayor West at 1:25 PM on November 4 [4 favorites]

If Wait Mate was a real thing I might pop a few.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 1:27 PM on November 4

From Mastodon: "nauseously optimistic"
posted by credulous at 2:15 PM on November 4 [8 favorites]

I'm contemplating the possibility of simply never checking the election results and running away whenever anyone tries to tell me who won.
posted by socialjusticeworrier at 3:02 PM on November 4 [6 favorites]

I am leaving for Rio De Janeiro, just after midnight on Thursday morning. Because I am, however cynical, an optimist, I booked a return flight a week later. But, you never know...
posted by bashos_frog at 3:23 PM on November 4 [1 favorite]

I have a job interview with a company in Canada Tuesday. I don’t 100% want the job but damn if it isn’t a great Plan B.

Praying for a Harris landslide.
posted by Farce_First at 3:24 PM on November 4 [3 favorites]

A couple of you have mentioned feeling at least somewhat optimistic. Got anything I can read to help me feel that way? I've been avoiding reading much of anything about the prospects, because I don't want to know the bad parts. But if there's a good, well-reasoned explanation of why we've got good odds, from someone in a position to tell it like it is (as opposed to, say, a Harris spokesperson) I'd love to read that. Or if you want to write one yourself, I'd love to read that, too.
posted by daisyace at 3:50 PM on November 4 [2 favorites]

Related, also from McSweeney's: Lest We Forget the Horrors - The worst of Trump...
posted by storybored at 4:11 PM on November 4 [1 favorite]

My husband and I have preemptively decided to go to a movie tomorrow evening in hopes of making it a few hours together, holding hands, but not looking at our phones with jaws tightly clenched in despair.

Our wedding anniversary is Wednesday, and we have completely not mentioned it at all because there's only one gift that means anything for either of us this year. Knowledge that we still live in a functioning democracy.

We did also schedule a trip to London later this month in case things look... uh, I'm just gonna stop there and hope for the best. But boy, did this week turn out to be a bad time to start onboarding new vendors at work and trying to map out new API integrations that could result in our company staying in business come January (hurrah!) or completely shutting down altogether (oh no).

Thankfully I already have another gig lined up if that happens but it's working with a lifelong friend, and that may have other unintended consequences, too. I just hope everything doesn't go to hell in a handbasket during the next 24 hours.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 4:11 PM on November 4 [3 favorites]

daisyace: try this analysis? It's a long discussion but there's some promising stuff in it.

These Republican holdouts have finally started making decisions. They are breaking for Harris nearly 2 to 1, and those among the 15% of voters still undecided, they’re leaning toward Harris by 10%, which represents an 11% swing in her favor.

...

Of the nearly 10 million votes cast in the seven swing states, almost 1 million more women have voted than men have, 55.1%-44.9%, and the gender gap grew by almost 88,000 from Thursday. Women are winning the gender gap in every swing state but Nevada (-2%). They’re up 4% in Arizona, 9% in North Carolina, 10% in Wisconsin, 12% in Georgia, 13% in Pennsylvania, and 14% in Michigan.

I'm cautiously optimistic.
posted by suelac at 4:26 PM on November 4 [9 favorites]

A couple of you have mentioned feeling at least somewhat optimistic. Got anything I can read to help me feel that way?

• The Trump campaign has committed a bunch of unforced errors in the last few weeks.
• Most models say that the race is essentially a coin flip. That's a case for, if not exactly optimism, at least non-hopelessness.
• If the race truly is a coin flip, then everything comes down to turnout, and the Trump campaign's ground game is supposedly in tatters.
• It's widely believed (to the point that even Nate Silver agrees) that pollsters are "herding"; i.e., adjusting their results to push them in a desired direction. The "hopium" interpretation is that pollsters are getting results suggesting that Harris is ahead, but they're terrified of the reputation (and financial) hit that they would take for underestimating Trump a third time, so they're hedging by pushing the results towards even, which is equally consistent with any outcome.
• An Iowa pollster with a reputation for making daring calls and getting them right recently released a poll with Harris ahead in Iowa. Before that result released, people were saying that Trump +10 would be a decent result for Harris. Even if Harris isn't actually up in Iowa, the margin of error is such that, assuming the poll is accurate, it suggests trouble for Trump in the midwest.

Do I agree with these points? Meh. Hope hurts too much, so I'm not allowing myself to hope. I could post a list of reasons to be pessimistic, but you asked for optimism, so here it is.
posted by heraplem at 4:29 PM on November 4 [8 favorites]

There's also this piece, which at the very least entails someone with something to lose putting their reputation on the line.
posted by heraplem at 4:31 PM on November 4 [3 favorites]

Bad news for my wife is that Tuesday evening will be shitty for her no matter what the election outcome is.


I'm so sorry this is your truth, but gotta ask, wasn't there consideration of scheduling a few days or a week later? I only ask because I've been doing them every 3-5 years for decades now and the prep has only gotten worse in terms of the timing, liquid consumption required and time on pooper. I simply can't imagine a much worse way to spend these next two days unless, of course, you're like on Tier 1 of the enemies list.

But good luck and Godspeed and wishing you both all the relief that comes with a solid report and another 3-5 year respite from the colon inspectors.
posted by thecincinnatikid at 4:32 PM on November 4

As a Canadian, some say that I am perhaps more traumatized than I should be about this potential coming collapse of all of Western Democracy, tomorrow.

Nonetheless, I am still recycling all the stuff I've accumulated over the last 69 years, and am bugging out, next Spring, regardless.

So today, as I dropped off a bunch of books at the local, Free Little Library, staring me in the face, was Rick Reilly's "Commander in Cheat". An entire book based on what a compulsive cheater this dipstick is. It's an Amazon bestseller. I hope that it's a sign.

Here on the Left Coast OF America's Hat, we are allowed 5 sick days. Tomorrow, "I'm Taking the 5th," as they like to say.

I will just be reading this over the next 48 hours, in between work interludes. Not expecting a decision.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 4:48 PM on November 4 [2 favorites]

A couple of you have mentioned feeling at least somewhat optimistic. Got anything I can read to help me feel that way?

-The above mentioned Iowa is significant not only because it had Harris up, but that it showed Harris with a 28-point lead with independent women and a 35-point lead with all women over 65. In Iowa. This, combined with the frequency of which people canvassing report coming across wives whispering their support for Harris while looking over their shoulder (I've only canvassed a handful of times, and I've experienced this twice - it's a real thing this year), there seems reason to hope that Harris will win because women are pissed about Roe, and jokes about cat ladies, Trumps crude speech and behavior, etc. and women vote. The recent This American Life episode yesterday reported that Republican women were more likely than Republican men to see January 6th as a red line they couldn't cross. Currently in my state (NC), in early voting (which hit over 60%), the gap btw male and female votes is about 450k. I guess it's possible more men will wait until tomorrow, but if that gap holds I'm somewhat hopeful the state could be flipped blue.

-internal Harris polls show her winning voters in swing states that just made up their minds in the last week by 4 points. The Madison Square Garden Nazi rally is what a number of people said helped them decide.

Anyway, I still bought a fifth of whiskey today so I wouldn't say I'm optimistic, but Harris does seem to have a bit of momentum, even if it still looks really close.
posted by coffeecat at 4:58 PM on November 4 [10 favorites]

I'm off all week. I have a guest coming on Wednesday for the rest of the week, so I figured why not take the whole thing and save my sanity?

In the meantime, I'd appreciate it if someone who got a preview copy of tomorrow could spoil me for the ending, kthx!

Sigh. I picked a hell of a time to quit carbs.
posted by invincible summer at 4:58 PM on November 4 [2 favorites]

I also agree, by the way, with the opinion that Trump just doesn't have the explosive energy and enthusiasm that he had in 2016, that his shtick is a little old at this point, and that Harris is nowhere near Hillary Clinton levels of unlikable. But those are subjective calls.
posted by heraplem at 5:00 PM on November 4 [4 favorites]

O merciful god, please let women and the youngs save all our asses whether we deserve it or not.
posted by gottabefunky at 5:01 PM on November 4 [15 favorites]

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
posted by kirkaracha at 5:08 PM on November 4 [3 favorites]

The night of the 2016 election was the last night of our vacation in New Orleans. We decided to go out to DBA on Frenchmen Street to see the Treme Brass Band, usually a very fun, upbeat musical experience. We hoped to at least temporarily ignore what looked to be a dismal outcome. But the the musicians onstage were peeking at their phones between solos, shaking their heads, and looking downcast.
posted by larrybob at 5:29 PM on November 4 [1 favorite]

Folks know that Iowa was one of the earlier states to legalize gay marriage (in 2009) and voted Democrat in the 2012, 2008, 2000, 1996, 1992, and 1988 elections (so, more often than Republican in my adult life), yeah?
posted by eviemath at 5:49 PM on November 4 [4 favorites]

Part of me wishes I could just take Wednesday off, but another part thinks that work will be a balm on what I expect to be an unsettled day.

If Project 2025 were to come to pass, NIH could be disbanded, its money disbursed to the states, and I would likely be out of a job sooner or later. What would I want to accomplish before that point? What on my to-do list would actually matter? An interesting thought experiment.
posted by eirias at 6:23 PM on November 4 [1 favorite]

Being half a day ahead (stupid timezones) means that, not only will I be at work on Wednesday, I'll wake up to whatever madness has seized America, and be at work trying to teach classes while results are coming in.

The last time Trump "won" I ended up quitting teaching for three years (teachers should have, or at least be able to fake the pretense of being hopeful for the future, I feel, and at that time, I did not have it, nor could I fake it). I'd like to keep this job, if only because I'm too old to go back to work in a pizza kitchen. So, uh, tonight, when I go to bed, everyone, if you would, make it so that my reflexive check of the news upon waking up at 5am doesn't cause me to scream out loud and wake Mrs. Ghidorah.
posted by Ghidorah at 7:02 PM on November 4 [5 favorites]

Nevertheless, tomorrow will be bad.

Wednesday will be beyond imagining.
posted by restless_nomad at 12:40 on November 4

The Dark is, indeed, rising.
posted by biogeo at 7:16 PM on November 4 [7 favorites]

I have the day off Wednesday, requested it two weeks ago.

I work a double tomorrow but should be home by 8 or 9, I'll have a handle of VO, over an ounce of weed, a pint of vodka (in the unlikely event they call it for Hariss for celebration martinis), the dart gun (in case I get out of control and my wife needs to put me down like a tranqed kudu), some old mushrooms in the back of the freezer (in case they call it for the shitstain and I need to alter reality), two kitties, some foods, and a sense of hope.

Red five standing by.
posted by vrakatar at 8:05 PM on November 4 [7 favorites]

Someone I know tipped me off to this (and I'm owning the fact that this is a Gen-X dog whistle) - REM released a compilation album on streaming platforms, We Are Hope Despite The Times, which is just an assemblage of some of their politically-tinged songs.

I just blasted "Ignoreland" and it helped.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:12 PM on November 4 [5 favorites]

I went out for alcohol, and I found a bunch of old work shirts that I can cut up in a rage.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:38 PM on November 4 [1 favorite]

I'm aware of the election, but I have disengaged to a large extent. I'm cruising down the road but I have taken the car out of gear and I'm just coasting. I have to disengage for my own mental health, because if I don't, and Trump wins, I risk getting very sad and depressed like when he won in 2016. That had me depressed for months on end, and I don't think it really went away until Joe Biden beat him four years later.

So I am reading the news but I am refusing to believe anything at this point. The talk now is that Harris is edging out Trump, but for the past few months it's been a dead heat. And there's all the ups and downs of exit polls and mail-in ballots and delays and subterfuge and interference and...it's just too much. I have zero power to push the race one way or another; like most Americans I live in a state that's easily red or blue, so my vote for president doesn't count. But remember, folks, downballot races are just as important, and there my vote could make a difference.

Anyway, I will spend the next few days--cause it's not gonna be over Tuesday night I think--reading and watching and not believing anything. Not until the 270 electoral votes are officially called for Harris, god willing. And god damn us if it's Trump.
posted by zardoz at 11:17 PM on November 4 [7 favorites]

I've been busily doing the things I can in the final days of the election and most of them feel almost comically pointless but I'm doing them anyway. The final chore to which I have committed myself is to stand at a prominent location tomorrow in my small town along with other volunteers, waving signs encouraging last minute voters to go to the polls.

I checked my phone this afternoon and noted a little National Weather Service "special weather alert" icon in the weather app. This is apparently what I get to look forward to for my sign-waving..

A STRONG SYSTEM WILL MOVE INTO THE [ALASKA] PANHANDLE BEGINNING TUESDAY, BRINGING WITH IT GUSTS OF WIND UP TO 40 MPH ALONG THE COAST AND FOR SOME COMMUNITIES IN THE SOUTHERN PANHANDLE. THE STRONGEST WIND GUSTS WILL BE ON TUESDAY. PERIODS OF HEAVY RAIN ARE FORECAST THROUGH EARLY FRIDAY, WITH THE HEAVIEST PRECIPITATION EXPECTED LATE TUESDAY THROUGH WEDNESDAY AS AN ACCOMPANYING ATMOSPHERIC RIVER FOCUSES ON THE SOUTHERN HALF OF THE PANHANDLE.

At least my sign-waving location is a few blocks down the street from the path of the surprise August landslide that took out part of a residential neighborhood. 'Cause lord knows I don't want to be standing by the slide chute when the ATMOSPHERIC RIVER arrives. Yeesh.

In any other year that would seem to be a fitting climax for a crazy election but I'm also pretty skeptical about whether anything is going to be settled tomorrow or not..

At least we don't get a lot of lightning with our storms. Because being struck and electrocuted while waving an anti-Trump sign would be sheer hack writing.

Can you tell I'm SO ready to be done with this?
posted by Nerd of the North at 11:29 PM on November 4 [8 favorites]

We are not allowed to talk politics at work but on Sunday I cornered my 22 y.o. coworker who wasn't interested in the last election and said "have you voted, or will you be voting?"

Amazingly she said yes she'll be voting because we can't have someone in office with those plans. Roe v Wade is big, immigration is also big for her. Plus it sounds like her grandmother had already been discussing it with her.

That's the most heartlifting thing I've encountered in this time in this horribly red area. I've been despondent since 2016; I still am about the number of people who support the evil man.
posted by mightshould at 1:36 AM on November 5 [7 favorites]

Hello trauma, my old friend. November 8, 2016 was a shit day during one of the shittiest weeks of my entire life. Remember it being “mathematically impossible” for Clinton to lose?

A few days prior, my ex had walked out on me & the kids. It was so completely out of character, we all thought he had a brain tumor. Nope, just a secret life, as time would reveal. A few days later, I had a milestone birthday, and found recording devices he’d left in our home, and a tracker on my car. A few days later, I filed for divorce & had my ex served. It’s all good now, he’s remarried to someone who asks him no questions and takes great care of the kids - but the trauma is still popping up for me this election. As it did the last election, too.

I was just telling my teens to find a path to pursuing their dreams abroad if Trump wins.

My friend invited me to go on a hike today. I will look at the birds, and the leaves, and know that I’m going to survive this fresh hell, too.
posted by edithkeeler at 2:54 AM on November 5 [12 favorites]

The Dark is, indeed, rising.

I wondered if anyone would get that reference!
posted by restless_nomad at 4:41 AM on November 5 [3 favorites]

Seen on mastodon: "If you need me today, don't"
posted by autopilot at 6:22 AM on November 5 [4 favorites]

I am at work; my direct boss is going to be on a plane nearly all day (she lands at 3, will likely be back in her apartment at 4:30). I have movie tickets for 6:30 tonight; I get out at 8:30, after some of the polls have closed, and I think I'll find a bar near home to watch some results. We'll have some by 8:30, so I will be able to figure out whether I want to watch the results or go home and hide under the bed.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:26 AM on November 5

I have to disengage for my own mental health, because if I don't, and Trump wins, I risk getting very sad and depressed like when he won in 2016.

Yeah, right now I am in the "well, we're going to lose" mental place I was in when Biden dropped out. I'm fast forwarding to acceptance, basically. I still can't believe that it is a dead tie after all the shit Trump has done. Maybe we just can't fight this level of evil if he keeps on surging ANYWAY despite all of this. Literally everyone else in the world would be dead in the water a million times over, but not him. I seriously think he has a deal with the devil or a monkey's paw or something. How do you fight that?

I donated money yet again and I'm wearing my childless cat lady merch and a light up "I voted" pin and I made a Kamala doll and put it up and I might light the St. Jude candle once again and I'll probably pray a lot on that score and...that's kinda all I can do.

Today will be the last day of limbo (well, probably tomorrow too), I think I'm just trying to enjoy that limbo rather than the anvil of doom that feels like it's back again. I sadly have to go to work no matter what tomorrow (and have a meeting scheduled I have to run, too), but tomorrow will be the real hell day, probably.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:47 AM on November 5 [2 favorites]