I WaNt ThE StOnEs AnD i WaNt ThEm NoW
November 8, 2024 12:22 PM   Subscribe

If you live in Austria and started middle school in the past 15 years, chances are your English teacher has subjected you to The Story of the Stones. An animated fantasy series so astonishingly, epically cringeworthy that it has created something of a collective traume bond.

The Story of the Stones is an animated fantasy series about Sunborn, Darkman and three kids and their magic Stones, "suitable for grades five to six" (so, eleven year olds).

Originally created by school book publisher Helbing, it comes with teaching materials including teachers notes, video script, vocabulary lists and worksheets to fill out before, during and after each six minute episode.

Helbing has produced two seasons, both on youtube.

Darkman's Villain Wiki plus fan art (Spoilers!)
posted by Omnomnom (26 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
 
Darkman may want the stones, but he wants you to take the @#$&^% elephant!
posted by grumpybear69 at 12:34 PM on November 8 [2 favorites]


I thought that this show was about scones and I was cruelly disappointed.
posted by rednikki at 12:56 PM on November 8 [2 favorites]


Watched the first few minutes... that was rough.

Was anyone subjected to Destinos in Spanish class?

youtube

It's been over 30 years, but I remember it jumping rapidly from conversational Spanish that was far beyond our abilities to endless scenes of like Raquel very slowly emptying her suitcase and naming each item.
posted by uberfunk at 1:05 PM on November 8 [9 favorites]


I had the great (mis)fortune to catch an Irish Dora the Explorer during a trip to Dublin some fifteen years ago. It was mostly in Irish, a language I speak not at all, with occasional forays into a pidgin that was neither Castellano nor Español Latinoamericano, but sounded very much like someone slowly sounding out written Spanish: Day-lee-see-oh-so!
posted by infinitewindow at 1:17 PM on November 8 [1 favorite]


I'm afraid to click on any of these links. Does this post need a CW?
posted by brookeb at 1:18 PM on November 8


You don't have the stones to watch Stones?
posted by rory at 1:37 PM on November 8 [3 favorites]




@uberfunk I had to teach from Destinos back in the day.

It was on laserdisc, if that helps anybody locate it temporally.
posted by humbug at 1:44 PM on November 8 [3 favorites]


I WaNt ThE StOnEs AnD i WaNt ThEm NoW

they're in the hovercraft - the eels ate them
posted by pyramid termite at 2:17 PM on November 8 [3 favorites]


In the early 90s in rural Canada, we were subjected to a talking pineapple who still haunts my nightmares. It's nice to know educational video trauma is a universal phenomenon.
posted by Torosaurus at 2:30 PM on November 8 [4 favorites]


Media about stones are inherently traumatizing to children! Previously.

Watching this, all I can think is, Macromedia has a lot to answer for.
posted by phooky at 2:42 PM on November 8 [3 favorites]


All we had for learning German was Charley Pappenheimer.
posted by AzraelBrown at 2:53 PM on November 8


My mom pirated all the Destinos tapes from our public library and we watched them through together multiple times. That show was our General Hospital, and I have only warm fuzzy feeling toward it. So of course I can never watch it again.
posted by Just the one swan, actually at 3:03 PM on November 8 [2 favorites]


Good Christ the opening seconds of that Canadian pineapple video could double as an afterschool special about coping with hallucinations.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 4:36 PM on November 8 [1 favorite]


But does it teach Austrians to properly pronounce P or V?
posted by misterpatrick at 6:45 PM on November 8 [1 favorite]


For some reason (specifically, the resumption of French nuclear testing in the Pacific and the diplomatic row Australia had with them in the 1990s) one day all our French material suddenly ceased to be about going on holiday to Marseilles and we started learning about the best ways to get around Québec by public transport. I remember lots of video of Canadian teenagers with epic, epic mullets.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 7:07 PM on November 8 [6 favorites]


That was very bad, but I was warned.
posted by Glinn at 7:16 PM on November 8


But did Robert et Mireille end up together? (My French in Action homies know the deep lore.)
posted by verbminx at 7:21 PM on November 8 [4 favorites]


That Pappenheimer show surely must've inspired some wicked van mods
posted by ginger.beef at 6:01 AM on November 9 [1 favorite]


I. Um.

Wow. Yeah, that's awful.
posted by sotonohito at 6:42 AM on November 9


Killer soundtrack!

Darkman sounded really upset about only good friends finding the stones. I think he's lonely.

So basically, Kevin Feige ripped this whole series off for the MCU, right?

I do like the idea that Sunborn and Darkman just hung out on the beach for 1000 years, keeping close watch on a 20 foot stretch of sand.
posted by Saxon Kane at 9:53 AM on November 9 [2 favorites]


I do like the idea that Sunborn and Darkman just hung out on the beach for 1000 years, keeping close watch on a 20 foot stretch of sand.

Ha - yeah, I was allllmost curious enough to watch beyond episode 1 to find out whether they'd ever make that make sense. But not quite.

What's disappointing though, is that I've been slowly chipping away at learning Spanish for years, so translated it into Spanish in my head as I watched and realised that if I'd watched it in Spanish, I'd probably be thinking "Oh, wow, I'm pretty fluent, get me watching this actual Spanish TV and understanding what's going on!"
posted by penguin pie at 11:23 AM on November 9 [1 favorite]


Sunborn and Darkman just hung out on the beach for 1000 years

And they can literally see each other; they are just on opposite sides of a couple piles of rocks. Did they talk to each other during that 1000 years? Did they just glare? And how did they get the binoculars -- did they buy them, or do they have the magical ability to conjure binoculars? I have so many questions!!!!
posted by Saxon Kane at 1:21 PM on November 9 [2 favorites]


I have so many questions!!!!

The questions are the best part.

Our 10 year old made the whole family binge watch this so she could ask things like "why is Darkman incapable of climbing a wall and is he riding a roomba?" And also "what is an mp3-player?"
posted by Omnomnom at 2:50 PM on November 9 [2 favorites]


I think the 70s Canadian equivalent was Read All About It!

I made a post about that a while back! It's kind of like Canadian Doctor Who, but with more of an emphasis on journalism. There are evocative moments in it, although the special effects are really cheesy.
posted by JHarris at 6:44 PM on November 10


You know, I've always feel like modern media doesn't use binocular shots enough. So I'm glad there are two of them back-to-back in the pilot episode. Hopefully this trend increases as the series goes on!
posted by AlSweigart at 6:09 AM on November 12


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