"See that? Touch that and you're fucking dead"

November 26, 2024 1:50 AM

Dan, you know coin-ops. Fediverse user "Dan Fixes Coin-Ops" explains about different kinds of coin-ops you might like installed in your small business. (single link Mastodon post).

🐹 Dan, you know coin-ops, I run a small business and would like some coin-ops in there, how does that happen?

🦝 That depends on the sort of coin-op.

PINBALL
🐑 The whitest man you've ever seen hands you a business card...

posted by i_am_joe's_spleen (18 comments total)

My son-in-law has a 60-in-1 emulator cabinet in his basement (though, I think it’s more like 160-in-1.) It’s great fun, jumping around from game to game. Stuff I haven’t played in ages. Zaxxon 4-evah!
posted by Thorzdad at 2:36 AM on November 26 [3 favorites]

Did not expect a character arc!
posted by Ishbadiddle at 3:04 AM on November 26 [6 favorites]

I love the humanity in this.

And holy crap I was only recently trying and failing to remember the name of that old browser game about an island with an Improbability Drive on it and it turns out this guy runs it!
posted by BiggerJ at 3:36 AM on November 26 [4 favorites]

"See that? Touch that, you're fucking dead,"

Oh, I thought that line was going to be about capacitors.
posted by eschatfische at 4:49 AM on November 26 [21 favorites]

Oh, I thought that line was going to be about capacitors.

Me too. We are too innocent for this fallen world.
posted by notoriety public at 5:17 AM on November 26 [10 favorites]

Posts like this help me with my crippling sense of FOMO. I know I'm out of touch and it's okay. I don't think I'm missing anything.
posted by hairless ape at 5:56 AM on November 26 [1 favorite]

Beautiful. Hilarious. Perfect mefi post.
posted by AlSweigart at 6:13 AM on November 26 [1 favorite]

Now I want to know who maintains the mechanical horse in front of Market Basket.

I bet it's this guy.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 6:24 AM on November 26 [1 favorite]

Now I want a Japanese Rhythm Game. I mean I already wanted a Japanese Rhythm Game, but now I want one more.
posted by The Bellman at 6:35 AM on November 26

I appreciate that each character gets an emoji fursona.
posted by jy4m at 6:48 AM on November 26 [2 favorites]

Informative and strangely adorable. I always wondered how those little punch-cards with quarter slots appeared on store checkout counters. I expect it’s the granddaughters of former fruit machine guys.
posted by Countess Elena at 7:09 AM on November 26 [1 favorite]

Back in my drinking days, I spent a fair amount of time and quarters playing the bar-top videogames, mostly the same sort of simple match-three and other games of that level that you have on your phone now. Because I was pretty antisocial, I would often play the "adult" version, which was like the regular version except that if you matched away enough of the things on the screen it showed a naked lady. Yes, I know. Frankly, one of the things that helps keep me sober is wondering if there are still people around town who see me and think, oh, it's that guy.
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:55 AM on November 26 [3 favorites]

Now I want to know who maintains the mechanical horse in front of Market Basket.

I don't think a human is involved in the care or operation of those mechanical horses at all; I'm fairly certain the horse was there to begin with and the store was built around it.
posted by AzraelBrown at 7:58 AM on November 26 [14 favorites]

Herds of wild horsey rides used to gallop the plains, grazing upon cotton candy and stickers
posted by jy4m at 8:04 AM on November 26 [11 favorites]

"Touch that and you're fucking dead"

We in the software world tend to say that quite frequently as well.
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 9:34 AM on November 26 [2 favorites]

They are missing condom machines. (Insert obligatory “this gum tastes like rubber” joke here.) I once met a guy who owned a bunch of them; he made a surprising amount of money, but he had hundreds of them spread out from South Carolina to Alabama and so was on the road constantly restocking machines and collecting money. Based on this article I wonder if he just snuck the machines into a bathroom when the owner wasn’t looking.
posted by TedW at 9:46 AM on November 26 [1 favorite]

So I sent this to my trans friend who is in to Japanese Rhythm Games and she sent me a bunch of links to gameplay videos. Some stereotypes are loving! Last time I checked in on this genre was the heydey of DDR, it's much more diverse now.

Jubeat is basically a 4x4 drum pad with screens in the buttons.

Pop'n Music keeps getting new editions. This one has 9 buttons for one player, the one my friend plays has two sets of four buttons for couples' play.

Bonus: Trombone Champ. Not Japanese but absolutely unhinged. (Analog input so precise positioning is important or all your notes are out of tune.)
posted by Nelson at 11:30 AM on November 26 [2 favorites]

I'm a trans lady and if I'm gonna hassle with restoring arcade games it's a lot more likely to be obscure vertically-scrolling shooters than rhythm games. *shrug*
posted by egypturnash at 2:19 PM on November 26 [2 favorites]