it made me laugh, anyway

November 27, 2024 3:33 PM

"How to Ethically Jerk It to Caitlyn From Arcane Even Though She’s a Cop", from the humor site Hard Drive.
posted by brainwane (29 comments total)

The hard drive, they get it.

Personally, I’ve always been of the opinion that fictional universes don’t always mirror ours in ways where policing has the same ethical baggage irl
posted by Betty_effn_White at 4:00 PM on November 27 [1 favorite]

1. Begin with a Land Acknowledgement

Ok I laughed for real.
posted by mhoye at 4:25 PM on November 27 [21 favorites]

Google the name of the tribe that was previously located on the lot in which your shitty apartment complex stands prior to being slaughtered, because there’s no way in hell you know off the top of your head.

I do know this off the top of my head, but only because said tribe planted a medicine wheel garden in the corporate-funded park near my house. I sent a picture to my mother-in-law, who is from a different tribe, and she promptly asked me to steal their white sage. Do I get to skip the land acknowledgement, or do I need to do it twice? :(

_{I did not actually steal the white sage. But in our thoughtcrime parody I'm a felon.}
posted by brook horse at 4:41 PM on November 27 [13 favorites]

I think a large portion of the people who jerk off to Caitlyn, noted femme lesbian in a fandom full of queer women, are probably doing so with removable dicks anyway.
posted by brook horse at 5:28 PM on November 27 [14 favorites]

I know a fair few people who would be way more into gaming
posted by eruonna at 6:36 PM on November 27 [1 favorite]

There’s still 70% left for that dream, sure.
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:36 PM on November 27

Really, if every gamer’s dick fell off, we’d live in a 30% better world.

Aside from the being ankle deep in said fallen dicks part.
posted by y2karl at 6:38 PM on November 27 [8 favorites]

There is a scene of sex between Caitlyn and the criminal-turning-cop-to-protect-people Vi in the new season of Arcane and, wow, from seeing it they tossed all the men out of the room and the women broke out the wine, because it has realism in it you don’t see very often. Also it’s been awaited for years.

That scene will be pretty divisive - two different groups finding it hot for different reasons and getting pissed at the other group for their reasons.
posted by mephron at 7:01 PM on November 27 [1 favorite]

Yeah, my partner (queer) and I (also queer) couldn’t get past the chemical warfare and fascism to enjoy the representation at all. The article did make me laugh, though.

Jinx deserved a girlfriend. And Sevika. And Mel. I guess that’s what fan works are for, right?
posted by lesser weasel at 7:40 PM on November 27 [2 favorites]

I'm... not often speechless.
posted by outgrown_hobnail at 8:08 PM on November 27

No argument there from me.
posted by y2karl at 10:58 PM on November 27

Say “ACAB” out loud five times like you’re summoning Betelgeuse

Ok, I’m not sure what level of irony if any this line is pitched at, or why, or if this is a simple and honest mistake
posted by Jon Mitchell at 11:50 PM on November 27 [1 favorite]

Despite the name of the film(s), the character is named "Betelgeuse".

Or are you talking about the five times instead of three?
posted by cardioid at 1:02 AM on November 28 [1 favorite]

ankle deep in fallen dicks> I don't really know what a weenie roast is, but this seems like the sort of pickle it might have been invented for.
posted by BCMagee at 2:09 AM on November 28 [2 favorites]

5 times for Candyman, 3 times for Betelgeuse.
posted by amk at 3:33 AM on November 28 [2 favorites]

ankle deep in fallen dicks

incoming sockpuppet
posted by mrgoat at 3:39 AM on November 28 [8 favorites]

5 times for Candyman, 3 times for Betelgeuse.

That's the kind of thing that will get people murdered in a grisly meat-hook-related way. Definitely three times for the (quickly tallies mentions)... uh, purveyor of sweets.
posted by Ghidorah at 4:01 AM on November 28 [2 favorites]

Conversely, you only have to mention Candle Jack one time before he
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 4:10 AM on November 28 [22 favorites]

Somewhat adjacent in masturbatory sci-fi-ish humor:

Cassandra Nova: “I’m gonna boil your brain on an atomic level while flicking my bean to the Enya box set.”

Deadpool: “There’s an Enya boxset?”
posted by lalochezia at 4:48 AM on November 28 [4 favorites]

Flagging this post.
posted by Diskeater at 4:51 AM on November 28

5 times for Candyman, 3 times for Betelgeuse.
Bloody mary is 3 times too. I guess the average monster spell can't be that complex or people will get bored before finishing?


yes that was a double entendre joke
posted by The_Vegetables at 6:10 AM on November 28 [1 favorite]

Flagging this post.

For a second, I took "flagging" as another word with a different vowel.
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:34 AM on November 28 [1 favorite]

this thread comes delivers
posted by glonous keming at 8:36 AM on November 28 [1 favorite]

Today is American Thanksgiving and I am thankful for Candlejack always remembering to click "Post Comment" afte
posted by What is E. T. short for? at 8:40 AM on November 28 [4 favorites]

I also lost it at the land acknowledgement.
posted by capricorn at 8:52 AM on November 28

oh so the same steps for Lin Beifong who's also a cop.
posted by numaner at 9:21 AM on November 28 [2 favorites]

I saw that the other night and sent it to like ten friends. As one of the many dickless gamers (it's fine Genji, we know you hate Arcane), I found it hilarious and am loving the webs reaction to the show, scene, ships etc. I remember when the first season went and all of Tumblr were like "omg do you think they know how this all sounds?!" and the writers, also on Tumblr were like "there is no subtext, it's all textual, get into it!" and we rejoyced. Similarly the voice actress for the minor character Lest, reacting to someone saying the VA sounded trans was like "I am, thanks for noticing, so is the character" and we rejoyced. God bless this cartoon for bringing us all this queer. We ain't getting it many other places.
posted by Iteki at 11:53 PM on November 28 [1 favorite]

Mod note: Several flags on the comment about gamers' dicks falling off, it's been deleted.
posted by travelingthyme (staff) at 2:33 PM on December 1

Well that was a somewhat circumspect circumcision which certainly puts the bris in debris.
posted by y2karl at 2:58 PM on December 1 [1 favorite]