ZoRaK's PaGE of RAISIN' HECK!!!
December 1, 2024 12:06 PM Subscribe
The time is around 1998, when Cartoon Network had a much much better web presence than they do now (these days it's just a subsite of Max). Then, the Space Ghost Coast 2 Coast people, long before "Adult Swim" or "Williams Street," kept up a web presence for each of the members of the "Council of Doom" league of supervillains. Those sites are long gone now, but a fairly decent backup of them exists on the Internet Archive! So jump into a time machine and catch up retroactively with the affably evil blogs of Zorak, Brak, Moltar, Black Widow, Metallus, Lokar (hisssss) and Tansut. These should be the last versions of these pages that were up; the bottom of each page has links to past entries.
Zorak is charmingly hostile as always, hating everything but especially actors. Brak is friendly and kinda dim, but his most recent posts had links to info of the first Brak show, Brak Presents the Brak Show Starring Brak, which only had two episodes but was much better than the later Brak Show. The Moltarverse is much about things that rock and his wife Linda. The Black Widow gushes over boys like Regis Philbin and Bob Dole. Metallus communicates mostly by way of images of metal things (some of the image links are broken unfortunately). Lokar is highbrow, and Tansut is just as nice as you'd expect a character who was voiced by Don Kennedy (R.I.P.) would be.
I'm not entirely sure who created these pages, but I suspect it was Andy Merrill, the voice of Brak himself.
Zorak is charmingly hostile as always, hating everything but especially actors. Brak is friendly and kinda dim, but his most recent posts had links to info of the first Brak show, Brak Presents the Brak Show Starring Brak, which only had two episodes but was much better than the later Brak Show. The Moltarverse is much about things that rock and his wife Linda. The Black Widow gushes over boys like Regis Philbin and Bob Dole. Metallus communicates mostly by way of images of metal things (some of the image links are broken unfortunately). Lokar is highbrow, and Tansut is just as nice as you'd expect a character who was voiced by Don Kennedy (R.I.P.) would be.
I'm not entirely sure who created these pages, but I suspect it was Andy Merrill, the voice of Brak himself.
THANK YOU!! for resurrecting silliness like this:
Brak: Repeat after me. I, Cheese, take you, Macaroni, to be my husband, and with this bowl, I marry you and join my taste to yours.
Cheese: I, Cheese, take you, Macaroni, to be my husband, and with this bowl, I marry you and join my taste to yours.
Brak: May the love that you put in my tummy grow deeper and stronger all the days of your lives! I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU A TASTY TREAT!!!! YOU MAY GET IN MY TUMMY!!!!
posted by borborygmi at 1:56 PM on December 1, 2024 [4 favorites]
Brak: Repeat after me. I, Cheese, take you, Macaroni, to be my husband, and with this bowl, I marry you and join my taste to yours.
Cheese: I, Cheese, take you, Macaroni, to be my husband, and with this bowl, I marry you and join my taste to yours.
Brak: May the love that you put in my tummy grow deeper and stronger all the days of your lives! I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU A TASTY TREAT!!!! YOU MAY GET IN MY TUMMY!!!!
posted by borborygmi at 1:56 PM on December 1, 2024 [4 favorites]
Brak's voice actor, Andy Merrill, is a lot of fun on Bluesky
posted by Pallas Athena at 2:35 PM on December 1, 2024 [3 favorites]
posted by Pallas Athena at 2:35 PM on December 1, 2024 [3 favorites]
It was a reply to a Bluesky post of his that pointed me to the CoD pages on the Internet Archive!
posted by JHarris at 2:38 PM on December 1, 2024 [1 favorite]
posted by JHarris at 2:38 PM on December 1, 2024 [1 favorite]
I once followed a version of "Everything's Alright" from Jesus Christ Superstar with the Brak "Don't Touch Me" track on a mix tape. Truly, it's one of the things I'm most proud of. It was wrong but also somehow perfect.
posted by edencosmic at 5:49 PM on December 1, 2024 [5 favorites]
posted by edencosmic at 5:49 PM on December 1, 2024 [5 favorites]
WOW!
posted by inexorably_forward at 12:29 AM on December 2, 2024
posted by inexorably_forward at 12:29 AM on December 2, 2024
I never had the right kinds of televisions to watch this show, or whatever, but it was so omnipresent through the mid-90s that I absorbed most of it through osmosis. These days the thing that seems to fill that role is Skibidi Toilet.
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 1:45 AM on December 2, 2024 [2 favorites]
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 1:45 AM on December 2, 2024 [2 favorites]
I hope Tansut's rheumatism is doing better now. I always felt bad for him. It's tough to have that kind of gentle personality among the likes of Zorak and Moltar.
posted by ignignokt at 7:13 AM on December 2, 2024 [2 favorites]
posted by ignignokt at 7:13 AM on December 2, 2024 [2 favorites]
Oh man, I was super psyched out for a moment. I'd been looking for the old space ghost website for decades. This unfortunately seems to be different than what I'm remembering, though what I remember at this point is an unusual splash page image type websdesign and this game of exploring hallways and doors to get to the end or find zorak or whatever. In any case, having a good time reading through these old blog posts. Very cool find, thanks for sharing.
posted by GoblinHoney at 8:16 AM on December 3, 2024 [1 favorite]
posted by GoblinHoney at 8:16 AM on December 3, 2024 [1 favorite]
Mod note: [Thank you for all the villain rizz, JHarris! We've added this post to the sidebar and Best Of blog roundup of recent great posts!]
posted by taz (staff) at 2:08 AM on December 8, 2024 [1 favorite]
posted by taz (staff) at 2:08 AM on December 8, 2024 [1 favorite]
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posted by knile at 12:08 PM on December 1, 2024 [5 favorites]