[00:01] or gtfo

December 10, 2024 9:01 PM

Some mid-week silliness: Open the microwave as close as possible to 00:00 [SLMW?] via kottke
posted by slater (26 comments total)

Well, that was easy - 00.01 on my first try. All due to my amazing skill and dexterity, of course, no luck involved ;-)
posted by dg at 9:35 PM on December 10, 2024

Oh, I see there are scores as well. 9200 is the best I could get, but no idea what that actually means.
posted by dg at 9:40 PM on December 10, 2024

I managed to get 10000 once.

I can get even better scores on the microwave in my kitchen, where I have a lot more practice.
posted by aubilenon at 9:53 PM on December 10, 2024 [2 favorites]

Just turn the sound off on your microwave to stop this compulsive behavior.
posted by waving at 11:11 PM on December 10, 2024 [1 favorite]

I'm at 9900 and forcing myself to stop. :)
posted by stormyteal at 11:15 PM on December 10, 2024

I don't really have that much experience with microwaves, never having had one at home. But at the office there's one and when folk pull out their food with like five seconds left I haven't ever figured out how to reset the timer or simply add time to what's left. So when I go to use it I have to run down the clock from whatever it was left at, let it beep, open the door, and then set it again for two minutes or whatever. Super irritating!
posted by St. Oops at 11:16 PM on December 10, 2024

In real life, this causes glitchy readings on sensitive instruments.
posted by limeonaire at 11:25 PM on December 10, 2024 [1 favorite]

Now, see, as someone who hates when anything with a digital clock isn't showing the (correct, ideally within about 10-15 seconds) time, I always hit the STOP button to clear it out before I push the OPEN switch.

I thought it was broken in my browser by using what I consider the normal and sane way of interacting with a microwave and seeing my score always at zero, no matter what.

So, imagine my surprise when I find out that I'm not only playing the game wrong, I'm also today year's old when I found out that - according to the way this game is meant to be played - the "normal" (???) way of doing this is to just pounce that OPEN switch to swing the door open and leave the timer at whatever close-to-zero is first.

I hope that those who do that also take the extra second to hit the "STOP" (or "CLEAR") button to show the clock again afterwards.
posted by revmitcz at 12:05 AM on December 11, 2024 [3 favorites]

revmitz, this savage behaviour is why Rome fell. You were also today years old when you learned many people have forgotten the Old Knowledge and that the current age of darkness will endure beyond what we can endure.

(This message paid for by The Long Timer Foundation.)
posted by k3ninho at 1:14 AM on December 11, 2024 [5 favorites]

9766

Too funny.
posted by Artful Codger at 1:36 AM on December 11, 2024

On my home microwave, I can pull the door open just as it hits 00:00 but before it beeps. That is most satisfying. Like beating the machine at its own game.

I couldn’t play this game, though. The site doesn’t load for me. It requires a new shiny browser.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:05 AM on December 11, 2024 [2 favorites]

10000! Good now I can stop playing this silly game
posted by caution live frogs at 5:42 AM on December 11, 2024 [1 favorite]

Yeah, everyone knows that true success is when you open it *after* it finishes but before it starts beeping. Of course, letting it completely finish handles all the clock-resetting business without having the hit the reset button.

My current microwave related pet peeve is the "Quick 30" button mine has. It'll increment the timer by 30 seconds, but that's it - it doesn't automatically start the microwave. So for 30 seconds, it saves one button press, (3, 0, start vs Q30, start), but for 1 minute, it's the same number - and for anything higher, it's more! A tiny-yet-infuriating change previous microwaves, where pressing *anything* numeric just starts it with that number of minutes.

Anything beyond putting in a time is dark magic to me, though. Defrosting? Different power levels? Not a clue.
posted by sagc at 5:57 AM on December 11, 2024 [2 favorites]

Not to push one brand, but we have a Breville microwave whose controls seem to have been designed by someone who's actually used a microwave:
- big fat Start button with time adjust ring around it.
- 30 sec on High? One press of the Start button, and away it goes. 60 sec? Two presses. Etc
- the turning ring around the Start button increases/decreases the time in sensible steps
- there's another knob to adjust power level..
- the Start button can be pressed again to add 30 sec or the knobs can be turned to change time or power WHILE the thing is running. No need to stop to punch in new values, then start again.
- first push of Stop button pauses operation, second push clears current settings
- the "smart" settings (eg defrost, or a plate of leftovers) are actually useful and easy to select, and parameters can also be adjusted on the fly.
- if on a smart setting, the microwave will stay on that setting for a few minutes after a run - eg will stay set for leftovers - so that the next plate of leftovers just requires a push of Start.
- it resets to normal High after a few minutes of not being used.

/interface & usability nerd
posted by Artful Codger at 6:43 AM on December 11, 2024 [4 favorites]

I played like twice and got a 9999. It's really kind of a letdown if there's no heated leftovers at the end of the game.

Then I quit and walked away. I left the door open, so the light stays on. Somewhere out there on the internet someone will be aggravated, because there are people that hate it when you leave the door open.
posted by BlueHorse at 8:24 AM on December 11, 2024 [1 favorite]

....there are people that hate it when you leave the door open

I see you've met Mrs C.
posted by Artful Codger at 12:10 PM on December 11, 2024

Not to push one brand, but we have a Breville microwave whose controls seem to have been designed by someone who's actually used a microwave:

I appreciate that Breville is a company whose designers think about this stuff. My favorite button on our Breville toaster oven is the one that says "a bit more" and if you're looking in at your toast and thinking it's not quite done, you just push that button for a bit more.
posted by oneirodynia at 12:25 PM on December 11, 2024 [3 favorites]

I don't understand people who just open the microwave without stopping it first. You're putting a lot of faith in the door switch immediately shutting off the magnetron.
posted by zixyer at 12:30 PM on December 11, 2024

In fact, Wikipedia lists a few cases of people being injured this way. But none of them seem to be recent, so maybe the door latch mechanisms are more reliable these days.
posted by zixyer at 12:44 PM on December 11, 2024

I got 9684 on my first try and 10000 on my second. I blame this on decades of having to use a microwave with the world's loudest and most annoying, un-cancellable 'finished!' noise.
posted by ApathyGirl at 12:47 PM on December 11, 2024

While it's perfectly safe to open the microwave while it's still running, this will likely shorten the lifespan of your microwave, particularly if it's older. The interlock switch will eventually start to get creaky and burn out, and then the microwave will stop working. If you want to keep your microwave around longer, wait for it to finish, or turn it off before opening.
posted by Vhanudux at 12:48 PM on December 11, 2024

On Breville's "A bit more" button, previously....

My housemate bought a replacement toaster oven. It's still a Breville but inexplicably missing this one lovely button. I miss it.
posted by hovey at 6:42 PM on December 11, 2024 [1 favorite]

so none of you are concerned this microwave must be moving near the speed of light? since the microwave seconds are longer than normal earthling non-relativistic seconds, it must be subject to relativistic time-dilation.

i have never felt more alien.
posted by glonous keming at 6:55 PM on December 11, 2024

Just turn the sound off on your microwave to stop this compulsive behavior.

Y'all, I can not stress this enough:

You can turn off the beeping of your microwave oven, and it is the best thing ever.

Seriously, it's like in the top ten of "life hacks" that made my life so much better. No more chasing down the damn thing just to avoid the done beep. No more button press beeps! Blissful silence. Well, except for the oven function, of course.

ALL microwaves have this function -- it's just hidden, usually, and you have to read the fine manual to figure it out. For mine, it's "press and hold the 8 button" to toggle the beeps on and off, and I now have that phrase printed on a label hidden on the top of the oven for when it needs to be recommanded (typically after we've lost power in the house for whatever reason, or similar outage).

Do it! OMG it's so great. (and this is now the second time I've crowed here about this)
posted by intermod at 10:24 PM on December 11, 2024 [1 favorite]

My housemate bought a replacement toaster oven. It's still a Breville but inexplicably missing this one lovely button. I miss it.

On the Breville toaster, you can just give the Time knob a short clockwise twist to increase the time while it's still toasting, and this achieves the same thing as the "A Bit More" button.

We are on our second Breville toaster oven. Our first one gave us lots of grief: first it burned at a flaky connection on the main circuit board (I repaired), then glitchy switch-bounce problems with the Start button, (no excuse for this sort of problem; it was just bad electronic design) and finally a relay or power transistor failed. We then bought the newest model of the same toaster, and they seem to have fixed the Start switch bounce problem.

You can turn off the beeping of your microwave oven, and it is the best thing ever.

I can't say that our microwave beeping has really bugged me. The aforementioned UI efficiency of the Breville microwave means there are fewer keystrokes (and beeps) when you're adjusting settings.
posted by Artful Codger at 1:27 PM on December 13, 2024

Please don't turn off the beep on my microwave.

No beep means I reheat my leftovers 14 times and still forget to eat them. If I make soup, with no beep I forget about it long enough it freezes over. Cups of coffee are forgotten and reheated till 3/4 of the liquid boils off.

The beep was designed to let you know things are hot. It keeps reminding you to come get the hot things while they're still tasty. And hot. As a Certified Idjut*, I appreciate the beep.

*Yes, this Idjut let the horse trough run over for 45 minutes. AGAIN!
posted by BlueHorse at 11:25 PM on December 13, 2024