October 10, 2002

4:31 AM

A 12-year-old boy with a gun demands oral sex from a man. Would you fellate a 12-year-old degenerate to save your life?
posted by Stumpy McGee (28 comments total)

I would give a blow job to anyone to save my life. Except the reporter of the story who failed to tell us how this crime ended. If the kid got the oral sex, it was rape. If he did not, it was attempted rape.
posted by Postroad at 4:34 AM on October 10, 2002

The reporter of the story also failed to explain who these people were, at all.
Perhaps the man was someone constantly harrassing the 12-year-old, and the kid got a gun, aimed it at the man, and said "Blow me, old man." Not in the literal sense, but just as a "I hate you and I'm going to shoot you" sort of threat, which is still pretty disturbed, but another possible explanation.
posted by jozxyqk at 4:49 AM on October 10, 2002

Good point, Postroad.

It's not clear whether the boy succeeded or not.

I wonder if the kid was just looking for fatherly love.
posted by Stumpy McGee at 4:50 AM on October 10, 2002

Um. What action could have worse results than my existence ending? Sucking off a 12-year-old certainly isn't it, and frankly, double-checking it now, it doesn't appear that anything is on the list.
posted by Ryvar at 4:50 AM on October 10, 2002

no way! i rather die...
posted by carfilhiot at 4:53 AM on October 10, 2002

I'd do just about anything to save my life i guess...except perhaps post a news article to MeFi...
posted by berto at 4:53 AM on October 10, 2002

Unless I'm very wrong, Stumpy already posted this once before and it was deleted. Stumpy, if Matt deletes a post it's for a reason.
posted by yhbc at 4:59 AM on October 10, 2002

Hahah.

Under normal circumstances, most people would be calling this old man a pervert and sending him off to jail or something.
posted by delmoi at 5:03 AM on October 10, 2002

First: The article does not explain who was the recipient of the oral sex in question. And,

Second: This post is a steaming pile of nonsense.
posted by hama7 at 5:16 AM on October 10, 2002

is stumpy looking for his armed 12 year old?
posted by quonsar at 5:19 AM on October 10, 2002

another possible explanation, perhaps the boy was bitten by a poisonous snake?
posted by fatbaq at 5:20 AM on October 10, 2002

yhbc, the lofi Metafilter says you're not wrong. Should we start a pool on when this one will be deleted, too?
posted by UnReality at 5:30 AM on October 10, 2002

Unless I'm very wrong, Stumpy already posted this once before and it was deleted. Stumpy, if Matt deletes a post it's for a reason.

Yes, I tried posting this link a couple of days ago. It went through and then disappeared within thirty seconds or so after I had hit the post button. I assumed that it was a technical glitch.

If it was actually deleted by Matt, then my sincerest apologies to him and all of MeFi.
posted by Stumpy McGee at 5:32 AM on October 10, 2002

No glitch, Stumpy. Just picture Matt firing up the browser and lunging for the kill key at the sight of that timeless conundrum, "Would you fellate a 12-year-old degenerate to save your life?"

Besides, I think we've all seen this issue discussed on Charlie Rose quite often enough.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 5:53 AM on October 10, 2002

The thing about this is that it's kind of an artwork in its own right. It was wicked, but it was devised in this way for this kind of impact.
posted by Ljubljana at 6:20 AM on October 10, 2002

Maybe a 13-year old... but not a 12 year old... JESUS. That's sick. Although I would probably do it for a million dollars. Would you cut off one arm for million dollars?
posted by Witty at 6:22 AM on October 10, 2002

I've give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
posted by UnReality at 6:32 AM on October 10, 2002

Would you cut off one arm for million dollars?

Can it be someone else's?
posted by websavvy at 6:35 AM on October 10, 2002

I'd cut off this post for ten bucks.
posted by UnReality at 6:38 AM on October 10, 2002

Before this thread dies, I just want to point out that threatening someone with a handgun is best done at a range of 8-15 feet. If a person with a handgun is foolish to allow someone to get close enough to touch them (that includes fellatio, I would think), they have a significant chance of losing that gun.

Threatening someone with a gun to get sex, that's just ludicrous unless you're twice the size of your objet d'amour, in which case you don't need the gun anyway. Blackmail works a lot better.

The right tool for the right job, I say.
posted by UncleFes at 6:49 AM on October 10, 2002

has anyone else noticed that this news item is like a bad plot blend of 'Sex and the City' and 'Oz'?
posted by serafinapekkala at 6:49 AM on October 10, 2002

Metafilter: I just want to point out that threatening someone with a handgun is best done at a range of 8-15 feet.
posted by gsteff at 6:54 AM on October 10, 2002

UncleFes is funny, but this post is not.
posted by rhyax at 6:54 AM on October 10, 2002

If your dick is in somebody's mouth, and you put a bullet through the top of their cranium...could that bullet penetrate the grey matter all the way into the pink matter?

Cause I bet the kid didn't think about that. You could blow your balls off if you're not careful. That would really be a lose-lose for all involved.
posted by vito90 at 7:03 AM on October 10, 2002

also you could bite his penis off! and swallow :D
posted by kliuless at 7:09 AM on October 10, 2002

< kneels and prays>; Please let this thread be deleted. Please, please... < /kneels and prays>
posted by gsteff at 7:12 AM on October 10, 2002

Why should this post be deleted? Isn't the scenario bizarre enough to warrant discussion?
posted by dirtylittlemonkey at 8:01 AM on October 10, 2002

vito90: but it'd be a win for the rest of us.
posted by wah at 8:19 AM on October 10, 2002