10 Greatest Comics Where the Human Torch Kills Hitler

January 7, 2025 4:43 AM

No, in the Marvel Universe, Hitler did not die by suicide. He died by being burned alive by the original Human Torch. Though they did Save Hitler's Brain, as Maxwell Yezpitelok's article also explains. (Title taken from Maxwell's skeet about it).
posted by MartinWisse (25 comments total)

Those are great. I'd even like a look at the lesser comics where the Human Torch kills Hitler!
posted by chavenet at 5:24 AM on January 7 [2 favorites]

Of course they saved Hitler’s brain; how else would you have the ingredients for a Tricky Dicky Screwdriver?
posted by TedW at 5:36 AM on January 7 [2 favorites]

When I was a kid, the Torch was so confusing. I wasn't a regular reader of his non-Fantastic Four appearances, and so I was baffled--why is he suddenly in World War 2? Why is he sometimes a robot?! Why does he sometimes have a little fiery sidekick?!
posted by mittens at 5:38 AM on January 7 [3 favorites]

I was an adult when I read Marvels and I didn’t understand what Johnny Storm was doing there either.
posted by Lemkin at 6:09 AM on January 7

The German Marvel Comics sometimes had yellow-papered essays in them, possibly written by a serious Marvel Fan living his best life and loosely related to the Comics at hand. The complicated origins of the Human Torches were covered but I'm not sure if the various Hitler torchings also came up.

Is comicverse Vision still living in the body of the original human torch now or was that changed/retconned/multiversed/evented away?
posted by Ashenmote at 6:21 AM on January 7 [1 favorite]

"oww!" has to be the funniest possible onomatopoeia for "I am burning alive"

50s comics are unimpeachable for scenes in which someone is talking and explaining far more than is reasonable given the apparent constraints of time and circumstance

that the things happening are themselves insane is almost incidental, I think
posted by Kybard at 6:21 AM on January 7 [8 favorites]

Well, we all agree that Hitler’s body was incinerated. Let’s just leave it at that.
posted by Lemkin at 6:27 AM on January 7

"Is comicverse Vision still living in the body of the original human torch now or was that changed/retconned/multiversed/evented away?"

I believe it was retconned in the brief John Byrne run of West Coast Avengers. Jim Hammond also returned as the original Human Torch in that run. No idea if it has since been re-retconned or whatnot (but I sure wouldn't be surprised).
posted by joelhunt at 6:55 AM on January 7

Jim Hammond Human Torch featured in the 1996 Heroes For Hire series written by John Ostrander; I remember a bit where Ant-Man did an Incredible Voyage inside him and there was some sort of revelation about his android innards relating to the Vision thing. I think that was one of the last comics I bought off a magazine rack in a gas station.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:23 AM on January 7 [2 favorites]

This is my favorite image caption (last image):

"Another example of the mainstream media silencing a prominent conservative."
posted by signal at 7:25 AM on January 7 [4 favorites]

Maxwell Yezpitelok

I'll bet him $1000 he can't say his own name backwards.
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:35 AM on January 7 [10 favorites]

For a moment I thought I knew Ant-Man's Incredible Voyage in Vision, but it was in fact Vision's Incredible Voyage inside giant-sized Yellow Jacket that I remembered. I only realized my mistake because he carried the anti-microbial medicine in a fold of his cape and Ant-Man can't do that, obviously.
posted by Ashenmote at 8:03 AM on January 7 [1 favorite]

Getting into the differences between comics continuity and what most of the world is familiar with vis-a-vis the MCU is wild. The bit about Hitler's mind being transferred to a cloned body, for example, doesn't mention that the "Nazi scientists" who did it was really one guy, Arnim Zola, who in the MCU is the fussy little guy who was basically the Red Skull's sidekick in the first Captain America movie and uploaded his own consciousness to 1970s computer technology in the second movie. Here's what he looked like in the comics.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:22 AM on January 7 [1 favorite]

Also, although I suspect most in this thread know it already, Jack Kirby hated Nazis and fought them for real.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:29 AM on January 7 [7 favorites]

Speaking of Kirby, I love the energy dots in this one.
posted by doctornemo at 8:37 AM on January 7

Just like there’s always room for Jell-o (even in this thread), there’s always room for Jack Kirby hated Nazis announcements.
posted by house-goblin at 8:39 AM on January 7 [2 favorites]

One of the nice Easter eggs in the first Captain America movie is the introduction of Arnim Zola. For a moment, his face is captured in a magnifying glass, looking as he does in Halloween Jack's reference.
posted by SPrintF at 9:25 AM on January 7 [1 favorite]

Strange Interlude: Are we sure that 'Maxwell Yezpitelok' is not, in fact, the true name of Bat Mite?

Also, I know that Hitler liked to talk, but being able to give multiple instructive sentences WHILE YOU ARE BURNING ALIVE? And why is a line about suicide preferable to 'well, the enemy super-robot killed me'? I mean a part of Hitler's ideology was the concept of the ubermensch- getting killed by a superhuman entity would be a partial vindication of that line of thought.
posted by LeRoienJaune at 1:27 PM on January 7 [1 favorite]

Arnim Zola, who in the MCU is the fussy little guy who was basically the Red Skull's sidekick in the first Captain America movie and uploaded his own consciousness to 1970s computer technology in the second movie.

I also liked how they made sure to stick a big boxy video camera on a swivel mount on top of the SHIELD mainframe terminal in CA: The Winter Soldier to make it look like robot-Zola's head and torso from the comics.
posted by Strange Interlude at 3:19 PM on January 7 [2 favorites]

In 20 years time do we get Trump, Musk, Zuckerberg, Bezos, etc being burned alive by the Human Torch?
posted by Phlegmco(tm) at 4:07 PM on January 7 [1 favorite]

I don’t think we’ve immolated Reagan yet so I guess not.

Fantastic post, MartinWisse!
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 5:24 PM on January 7 [2 favorites]

I love original Torch, and Namor. One of the first comics I owned was an issue of The Invaders, where Hitler has captured Torch, Toro, Bucky, and Namor, and is parading them through Berlin- Torch and Toro in a chamber that weakens them, Namor all dehydrated. Cap and the Destroyer are lurking nearby, plotting a rescue...it also had Spitfire, a shrinky guy called I think Dyna-Mite, and Union Jack! Who turns out to be the Destroyer in a diff costume. Union Jack shows up on the last page, and Hitler is all like "NEIN! NEIN! It can not be! It is a ghost, a ghost from the past! THE ENGLISHMAN CALLED UNION JACK!"

I was 6. I was hooked.
posted by vrakatar at 5:59 PM on January 7 [2 favorites]

He doesn't get to burn him to death but erstwhile Torch ally Captain America got to see (not) Richard Nixon reveal himself as a secret criminal mastermind and then off himself with nary an Otto in sight.
posted by LostInUbe at 1:28 AM on January 8

I like how Marvel's stance towards the event's canonicity isn't 'it's canon', it's 'damn STRAIGHT it's canon'.
posted by BiggerJ at 3:20 AM on January 8 [2 favorites]

In 20 years time

OWW! THE HUMAN TORCH HAS SET ME AFLAME! BUT DON'T LET THE WORLD KNOW HOW I DIED! TELL THEM I WAS DECAPITATED IN AN AVOIDABLE CYBERTRUCK ACCIDENT!
posted by phooky at 8:05 AM on January 8