"The form is one page long. No back. Just a front."
January 13, 2025 10:46 AM   Subscribe

"Six People to Revise You" by J.R. Dawson, a short and moving science fiction story published January 2025 in Uncanny Magazine (available in text and audio), begins:
A parent or guardian
Someone who has known you since childhood
A mentor or teacher
An employer or coworker
A spouse, partner, or close intimate friend
Someone who does not consider themself a loved one
posted by brainwane (31 comments total) 48 users marked this as a favorite
 
Thanks again for a lovely interesting story I wouldn't have otherwise seen.
posted by Well I never at 11:03 AM on January 13 [6 favorites]


Thank you - that was a lovely read.
posted by sedimentary_deer at 11:25 AM on January 13 [2 favorites]


Lovely story.
Also, I never heard "auncle" - is that a thing? It seems nice.
posted by Glinn at 11:45 AM on January 13 [3 favorites]


Who would be my six people?

I can think of two out of the six. Parents, guardians, childhood friends--gone. No more employer or coworkers. I could plug a friend into either mentor or close friend, but what do I do with the empty spot? The covid year wound up being a crevasse for so many.
posted by BlueHorse at 12:05 PM on January 13 [5 favorites]


Ugh. The story is good, the whole idea of revisions is horrible!
posted by Omnomnom at 12:06 PM on January 13 [4 favorites]


Wow, that was a powerful 4622 words! Thank you for posting.
posted by Lynsey at 12:38 PM on January 13 [2 favorites]


Excellent read, thank you.
posted by sibboleth at 12:44 PM on January 13 [1 favorite]


As I sit here doing my end of year reviews for my team, I think it would be rather lovely if we made it a practice to gather anonymous "you've awesome because" feedback for people and give it to them as a gift.
posted by drewbage1847 at 12:57 PM on January 13 [8 favorites]


I'd like to be revised, please. I just get so tired of the dissonance between me and what I'm supposed to be for other people. I realize that's not the moral I'm supposed to take from this, but it's exhausting not to be, and the things people appreciate about me somehow never seem to make up for what's missing.
posted by jenfullmoon at 1:07 PM on January 13 [13 favorites]


Enjoyed this, thank you for posting.
posted by Riverine at 1:15 PM on January 13 [1 favorite]


Thanks for posting. I can think of too many Carolines and not enough Sadies.
posted by winesong at 1:33 PM on January 13 [3 favorites]


Lovely (sniff sniff), if it hits a bit close in many ways. The problem with revising anything is it takes effort, and sometimes the "new" thing is not as good as the thing that once was.
posted by maxwelton at 2:05 PM on January 13 [1 favorite]


So good! Thank you!!
posted by Isingthebodyelectric at 6:51 PM on January 13 [1 favorite]


Thank you, that was lovely.
posted by Athanassiel at 7:36 PM on January 13 [1 favorite]


Wow. This made me feel seen, which is really something.
posted by dearadeline at 8:51 PM on January 13 [1 favorite]


Great idea for a story, terrible idea for a process. It’s like they waited so long for friends and relatives to stage the intervention they needed to reject that they decided to organise it themselves.
posted by Phanx at 9:19 PM on January 13 [2 favorites]


Why would the billionaires give a shit about what these six people have to say? You've got the cash, you want to revise, come on in. The idea of six people saying things about you isn't a terrible one, but the frame didn't work at all and the ending was pretty much treacle. But Becky Chambers is somehow popular, so what do I know?
posted by outgrown_hobnail at 6:38 AM on January 14 [2 favorites]


"The thing all the billionaires are pushing in ad space?" is going to reverberate in my head, as I wonder if my hard work in the tech industry is making the world a better place, or just making richer rich people.
posted by AlSweigart at 7:35 AM on January 14 [3 favorites]


This is a good story, and I'll lay out an explanation because sometimes people (including myself) could use more "tell" instead of "show". (It took a few re-readings for me to fully appreciate the little bits in "My Best Friend is a Dolphin and Sometimes It's Weird" but very much worth it.)

The theme of the story are the pulls of "accept criticism from others" and "accept yourself as you are."

Question: if "revision" tech (an analogy for medication/self-improvement fads/societal expectations) allowed you to basically wave a magic wand and just be changed... how much should you change? Should you change at all? Are you "broken"? Even if your "flaws" are flaws, do they need to be fixed?

Cue that comparison in the X-Men where there is a process to reverse mutatations. Storm, who can control the weather and fly and was worshipped as a goddess in her homeland, says they don't need a "cure" because nothing is wrong with being a mutant. Rogue, who involuntarily absorbs the power of everything she touches and her first teenage kiss put her date into a permanent coma, does want to give up her "powers".

Why would the billionaires give a shit about what these six people have to say?

Because being a "productive member of society" is required for billionaires to exist. The ruling class's ideal society is 90% docile, isolated, alienated workers who never complain and 10% loyal psychopathic warriors to control them and fend off the warriors of neighboring societies. You can still exploit the labor of frugal people who don't buy stuff and spend all their time with family and friends, but not for much.

Think of it like this: Silicon Valley is just a massive movement of money from affluent tech workers to California landlords. And Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk really like having well-educated, non-unionized, caffeinated tech workers in their employ.

You've got the cash, you want to revise, come on in.

Capitalism portrays itself as a lemonade stand where money is exchanged for goods and services. This is the simple fairy tale for the proles. Capitalism is about power and control and monopoly: the company will say there's no money for raises and then spend $10 million to stop unionization. The American healthcare industry is wildly inefficient, but tying healthcare to employment is what gives the rich a leash on everyone. The South "lost" the Civil War because they didn't industrialize, but humans don't want to be rich so much as richer than everyone around them. (Who cares about railroads and moon landings when the people you've enslaved provide free money and sense of superiority?)

Revision is about taking a core idea that makes sense ("I want to change and improve myself") and then making it into something that serves billionaires and the society they rule. Just like capitalism. And note who is not on the list of six people: Yourself.

Here's the six people in the story:

* The parent, her mother. She's selfish, transphobic, and not nurturing. Liz has learned that her smile is something to fear, an indication that her mother is about to do something cruel to Liz and delightful for herself. "We couldn't afford to fix her teeth" shows that her mom is unable/unwilling to identify the things that really mattered to Liz growing up. A child with straight teeth is what a narcissist parent wants because it reflects well on themselves. But children need unconditional love more than straight teeth.

* The childhood friend, Ryan. His one (one!) piece of advice is also self-serving: Ryan was the "nice guy" who was romantically interested in her but Liz was "super standoffish". He doesn't see it as Liz just not being interested in him; it's a personality defect on her part that should be revised. Ryan demands trust from women even though he punches walls in anger.

* Coworker and fellow teacher Carl has individualized advice: have more confidence, play the piano more (which Liz likes to do), and have better posture. This is very much like Jordan Peterson's "clean up your room" and manosphere "hit the gym, bro" kind of advice. And, sure, you can improve yourself this way, but personal responsibility will never solve systemic problems.

* Mentor and Liz's former teacher Mrs. Rhodes, is a person who is well-meaning and supportive and doesn't want to exploit Liz, but ultimately doesn't understand Liz's problems and can't offer any practical advice. It's comforting to have people like this, but not useful. She says "straight hair" because she doesn't know what else to say, but at least she doesn't want to push her own demands onto Liz.

* Caroline is neoliberalism. She has her shit figured out. She's tackling Important Issues and focused on the Big Picture. Her time is valuable and she uses it efficiently. She's successful in capitalism enough to get herself a comfortable middle class lifestyle, but she still cares about helping humanity. She just doesn't have time to care about individual people like Liz, and even resents Liz and her... "all this" (she doesn't even know how to describe it, let alone solve it). Those are problems that Caroline doesn't have, can't relate to, and is utterly unable to solve. Caroline's help and sympathy is gatekept behind income requirements and an application process, because you can't just give people help and sympathy just because they asked for it. It's not efficient. Don't you know there are people dying in the streets?

* Sadie is someone who knows, understands, and loves Liz, and accepts her and knows the difference between flaws that are unfair problems to other people (which need to be fixed) and flaws that are inconvenient or unexploitable to other people (which don't.)

This isn't to say you should entirely discount everyone but the Blue form people in your life, but realize how much weight you are giving them and ask yourself who do their demands for change serve. And don't forget to include a form for yourself.

Now give the story a re-read. Point out the things I missed or misinterpreted. You can't just take my perspective as the whole explanation of the story.
posted by AlSweigart at 9:06 AM on January 14 [7 favorites]


Heh heh heh. I had an inkling, then checked and verified it was right, that "My Best Friend is a Dolphin and Sometimes It's Weird" was also a story posted to mefi by brainwane. :)
posted by AlSweigart at 9:10 AM on January 14 [2 favorites]


This isn't to say you should entirely discount everyone but the Blue form people in your life, but realize how much weight you are giving them and ask yourself who do their demands for change serve. And don't forget to include a form for yourself.

Good points. What occurred to me reading this was that Liz has to live with most of these people in their life (though not Caroline, thank goodness), and it's hard to discard other people's opinions of you. Like a mother's because most of us can't get another mother who loves us as is. Sometimes it's easier to be all "haters gonna hate" about some things from some people--who cares about Caroline now--sometimes it's not. And I've had enough people be offended by who I was as a human being, not hurting anyone, that I'm very concerned about not becoming an object of hatred again. That's where the idea of being revised appeals to me. That there's always going to be disconnect and pain in the areas where I don't fit, and I'm not sure if the people who care about me as is make up for it when people disliking you can be an active threat to your safety.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:21 AM on January 14 [4 favorites]


this…gets kind of harsh. sorry. it’s not every day that the ending of a story makes me do such a hard 180 on my opinion of it.

the vignettes are well-written and have such a sharp eye for the relationship dynamics, and they build up the central mystery: why does the protagonist want to be revised? it’s clearly important to them, enough to go through a process that makes them so vulnerable to people who can wound them so deeply. then we get to the climax, where this will be unraveled, right?

well, no. in fact, all that was needed to deter the protagonist was…a folder of nice things people said about them.

i mean, either this is a darkly satirical story about a person who is perilously suggestible about what anyone says about them (which turns the ending from a triumphant one into…something else) or it’s a cheap, manipulative way to get people to project their own feelings onto a thinly drawn character and then hit them with the written equivalent of a “don’t forget you’re loved 💞” instagram meme.
posted by Why Is The World In Love Again? at 9:45 AM on January 14 [3 favorites]


about a person who is perilously suggestible about what anyone says about them

The whole damn world is designed to tell us we are ugly and insufficient and sinful and diseased so they can sell us a cure. I don't fault anyone for being manipulated by such a massive, profit-oozing machine, especially if they are prone to kindness and assisting other people with their oxygen masks before putting on their own.

You may not need a manila folder of nice things friends say about you in your situation now, but one day you might.
posted by AlSweigart at 12:34 PM on January 14 [5 favorites]


the massive profit-oozing machine doesn't seem to be doing a very good job of its manipulating if a manila folder of nice things is all that it takes to overcome it.
posted by Why Is The World In Love Again? at 1:30 PM on January 14 [2 favorites]


Well, then I guess this story isn't for you.
posted by AlSweigart at 2:53 PM on January 14 [2 favorites]


Why Is The World In Love Again? seems to believe that the story holds out mystery regarding why Liz wants to be revised; I find no such mystery.

I'm influenced here by Anna Fels's Necessary Dreams: Ambition in Women's Changing Lives which defines "ambition" as the combination of (1) the urge to achieve mastery of some domain and (2) the desire to have your peers, or people you admire, acknowledge, recognize, validate your mastery. And this is normal. For example, she points out that the childhood or adolescent desire for fame is often a precursor to a more nuanced ambition, combining the urge to master some domain or skill with the desire for the recognition of one's peers or community.

Liz mentions "They know me, sides of me no one else did. I admire them. They know what it means to be a teacher." and "maybe, I could show I’d changed enough to be worthy of [Caroline's] voice." and that Caroline knew Liz "Back when I believed I could be someone beautiful." and that the teacher they know who's done Revision "doesn’t go to therapy anymore. She’s gotten Teacher of the Year."

We often think about ambition in terms of career and similar skills. And Liz wants to be a great teacher, and we can infer that Liz believes revision will help them get better at that. But, also, some of us have long had an ambition to, fundamentally, be an okay person, whatever that means to us. Sometimes that aspiration is about being lovable, and is all tied up with ideas about "deserving".

How do you know you are loved unless other people show and tell you they love you?

Yeah, Caroline mentions the advertising stuff, and probably the ads play into the environment in which Liz is investigating Revisions, but also Liz's therapist is open to the idea that it will help. And Liz is one of a zillion people who have sought solace and change in fad diets, cults, untested treatments, prescription and recreational drugs, religion, travel, rash relationship decisions.... the fact that Liz is seeking peace from psychological turmoil (the first paragraph includes "Like I’m working my way through the rainbow to the end where I’ll finally find peace.") and has found it a really hard journey is not something I find tests my suspension of disbelief!

The gesture Liz receives includes a bunch of specific memories and is not just generic "nice things". Their partner solicits memories from several people, including Liz's family of origin: "A couple of your students. Your brother and your uncle and your aunt. My mom and dad. Charles next door and your graduate student cohort. People who know you, and love you." They are confirming that Liz has already achieved some parts of their core ambition, and helping Liz refine their future aspirations. It all reads totally realistic to me, psychologically.

But, even accepting the psychological verisimilitude of Liz's experience, some people won't care for this story (which is fine, of course).

And part of that is because sometimes an ugly duckling story can rub the wrong way.

Some stories are more about: the protagonist has a problem, and has to change to address it.

Some stories are more like The Ugly Duckling or Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer, and the change that has to happen is more like "find the right environment, in which one is socially accepted and thus thrives" or "discover the environment whose constraints demonstrate the value in one's unusual attributes". (I think these three stories are mostly like these.) And these are especially appealing stories when we can read contemporary political struggles in the narrative (the protagonist's unusual attributes are ones they never chose, and their original environment is unfairly biased against them).

Ugly duckling stories, if they're the majority of what one perceives in a genre, can get tiresome. (A previous commenter made a Becky Chambers reference, and yeah, a significant proportion of Chambers is more on the Ugly Duckling side of things.) And it's also true that sometimes discovery isn't enough, and we do have to change in other ways to address our problems.

As always, I hope people who don't enjoy a story I link to, especially people whose aesthetics are incredibly different from mine, make their own Front Page Posts showcasing stories they like! Here are a bunch of sources of free short sf/f online to help you find stuff.
posted by brainwane at 7:18 AM on January 15 [2 favorites]


People who liked this story: Dawson has a novel and several other short stories out, and is interviewed in Uncanny Magazine Podcast episode 62A (no transcript available as far as I perceive).
posted by brainwane at 7:35 AM on January 15 [2 favorites]


I ended up viewing this through a lens of mental health. In that this felt like the final stage of a product, developed with the best of intensions, for people with crippling mental disorders (I thought of depression, for personal reasons, but it could be other mental issues, maybe something considered more serious, like schizophrenia). And then it'd be expanded to work on people with bipolar, also something that most people would get rid of instantly. And ADHD and autism, as much as some people talk about them being superpowers, many would want to not be effected by them. Then you start looking around and there are people with BPD and other disordered personalities, and it's a way for them to avoid the worst of their impulses.

And if you can modify a personality, why stop at those with psychiatric diagnoses? Why not offer this happiness making treatment to everyone? What could better than that? It's ozempic for the soul.

And through a series of helpful decisions, you end up with ads on [social media platform] to fix yourself, make life easier and better, with just a few forms. Of course people would consider it. It's a promise of repairing relationships, making your existence in society better, making yourself happier. It's also become a form of partial suicide, but what would people sacrifice so that they wouldn't have to be in pain every day? (Like Slartibartfast said: "I'd rather be happy than right any day," except this time it actually would work.)

The story makes it sound like the protagonist would be overwritten, pushed from non-binary (I assume, given pronouns used by those who actually care about them) to what society thinks of as feminine. Which is, as portrayed, a tragedy that should be avoided. Where is it ethical to draw the line, assuming it is ok for someone with untreatable depression, but not for erasure of a non-binary individual? And if someone, of their own free will, wanted to erase that part of themselves, would we allow it? Even if it was because they were part of a religion that demanded it of them on pain of excommunication/ostracism? (Not condone, but not try to legislate against)

The horror and tragedy to me is that something with obvious therapeutic, helpful uses, would of course, turn into this. There is no avoiding that.
posted by Hactar at 7:58 AM on January 15 [3 favorites]


This story made me cry a bit in my office. Thank you so much for posting it.

I should tell the people I love the kind things I would write down about them more often. People shouldn't only hear about the things other people want them to change.
posted by birthday cake at 8:19 AM on January 15 [2 favorites]


"ambition" as the combination of (1) the urge to achieve mastery of some domain and (2) the desire to have your peers, or people you admire, acknowledge, recognize, validate your mastery.

I read that book ages ago. I don't remember much about it, but I've never had much ambition because I just never seem to hit either of those points very often.

it's a promise of repairing relationships, making your existence in society better, making yourself happier. It's also become a form of partial suicide, but what would people sacrifice so that they wouldn't have to be in pain every day?

Yes, exactly, because there is pain where you don't fit with others, and your unique ability to bang on the drums (or whatever) frankly may be a reasonable sacrifice to eliminate that dissonance and struggle.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:34 AM on January 15 [1 favorite]


Mod note: Beautiful and moving, thank you for sharing! We've posted this to the sidebar and Best Of blog!
posted by Brandon Blatcher (staff) at 8:10 AM on January 16 [2 favorites]


« Older the anglerfish   |   Eagle-eyed teen helps capture rogue frog on Tassie... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments