The sun shines out of our behinds
February 3, 2025 12:10 PM Subscribe
The World’s Oldest Anus Has an Unexplained Glow in Florida [Atlas Obscura]
I am going to resist making a joke and just say I think it's sad that we missed out on bioluminescence. I wonder where in our lineage it stopped showing up...does any land vertebrate have it?
posted by mittens at 12:16 PM on February 3 [2 favorites]
posted by mittens at 12:16 PM on February 3 [2 favorites]
I thought this was a Trump story.
Love the ending of the article!
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 12:23 PM on February 3 [5 favorites]
Love the ending of the article!
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 12:23 PM on February 3 [5 favorites]
Christ, what an asshole.
posted by fight or flight at 12:31 PM on February 3 [18 favorites]
posted by fight or flight at 12:31 PM on February 3 [18 favorites]
And that's the real poop, pals!
posted by y2karl at 12:34 PM on February 3 [1 favorite]
posted by y2karl at 12:34 PM on February 3 [1 favorite]
it's sad that we missed out on bioluminescence
But we didn't! It's just too faint for us to see it.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:35 PM on February 3 [7 favorites]
But we didn't! It's just too faint for us to see it.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:35 PM on February 3 [7 favorites]
Ok, I've got an idea for energy efficient lighting …
No, wait, hear me out!
We're gonna utilize this human bioluminescence thing …
You know how pregnant women have that glow …
Wait, where you go … what are going to do with that stick …
No! Wait! Ow! Ow!
We'll give them ice cream, I sw …
Ow! Ow! Staaahhhp! Ow!
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 12:54 PM on February 3 [2 favorites]
No, wait, hear me out!
We're gonna utilize this human bioluminescence thing …
You know how pregnant women have that glow …
Wait, where you go … what are going to do with that stick …
No! Wait! Ow! Ow!
We'll give them ice cream, I sw …
Ow! Ow! Staaahhhp! Ow!
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 12:54 PM on February 3 [2 favorites]
It’s not clear from the article that we’re actually talking about a bioluminescent asshole so much as a bioluminescent organism that happens to also have an asshole, unless I missed something?
Either way, now I have to somehow work comb jellies into a Uranus joke, so thanks for that.
posted by nickmark at 12:57 PM on February 3 [3 favorites]
Either way, now I have to somehow work comb jellies into a Uranus joke, so thanks for that.
posted by nickmark at 12:57 PM on February 3 [3 favorites]
Hey, work comb jellies into your own anus!
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:21 PM on February 3 [6 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:21 PM on February 3 [6 favorites]
The glowing comb jellies of Titania, Uranus's largest moon.
posted by jamjam at 1:31 PM on February 3 [4 favorites]
posted by jamjam at 1:31 PM on February 3 [4 favorites]
We could make ourselves glow in the dark if we really wanted to, because it's pretty easy to inject genes for bioluminescence into bacteria, and I don't doubt we could fairly straightforwardly produce a probiotic skin cream containing such bacteria.
Might give your new partner a bit of a shock as you climbed out of bed to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, though.
posted by jamjam at 1:51 PM on February 3 [3 favorites]
Might give your new partner a bit of a shock as you climbed out of bed to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, though.
posted by jamjam at 1:51 PM on February 3 [3 favorites]
thing about rectal jokes, it's always a rimshot, IMO.
posted by clavdivs at 1:51 PM on February 3 [7 favorites]
posted by clavdivs at 1:51 PM on February 3 [7 favorites]
“Developing an asshole makes comb jellies score high on the evolutionary race,” he says affectionately
There is so much to love here
posted by ginger.beef at 2:05 PM on February 3 [2 favorites]
There is so much to love here
posted by ginger.beef at 2:05 PM on February 3 [2 favorites]
“No buts about it, the butthole is one of the finest innovations in the past 540 million years of animal evolution” - Amy Maxmen
posted by jeffburdges at 2:16 PM on February 3 [2 favorites]
posted by jeffburdges at 2:16 PM on February 3 [2 favorites]
Perhaps the original flaming asshole?
posted by jim in austin at 2:49 PM on February 3 [1 favorite]
posted by jim in austin at 2:49 PM on February 3 [1 favorite]
Might give your new partner a bit of a shock as you climbed out of bed to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, though.
At least you’d have no more excuses for missing the damn bowl.
posted by gottabefunky at 3:20 PM on February 3 [3 favorites]
At least you’d have no more excuses for missing the damn bowl.
posted by gottabefunky at 3:20 PM on February 3 [3 favorites]
Hey, work comb jellies into your own anus!
Oooooooh, sick burn!
posted by y2karl at 5:48 PM on February 3 [2 favorites]
Oooooooh, sick burn!
posted by y2karl at 5:48 PM on February 3 [2 favorites]
Brandao was curious why two busloads of scientists were so thrilled about themThrilled about 'em? Hell it damn near killed 'em
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 6:09 PM on February 3 [3 favorites]
Judge Schreber, is that you?
posted by symbioid at 6:25 PM on February 3 [1 favorite]
posted by symbioid at 6:25 PM on February 3 [1 favorite]
Anus horribilis, indeed.
posted by zaixfeep at 6:45 PM on February 3 [4 favorites]
posted by zaixfeep at 6:45 PM on February 3 [4 favorites]
Talk about your ring of fire
posted by Hardcore Poser at 9:02 PM on February 3 [4 favorites]
posted by Hardcore Poser at 9:02 PM on February 3 [4 favorites]
I knew a guy who was a smoker. One day he was sitting cross-legged on the ground, felt the swell of an impending afflatus, thought to experiment and flicked his Bic. A jet of blue flame burst forth from his ventral orifice and burned all the hair off the inside of his extremely hirsute thighs. He was lucky he was wearing underwear. Kids, do not try this at home. Or away, for that matter.
posted by y2karl at 8:54 AM on February 4
posted by y2karl at 8:54 AM on February 4
Comb jellies developed the first through-gut, connecting a mouth to an anus.
Which humans improved by inventing politics...
(I'll let myself out)
posted by mule98J at 6:45 PM on February 4
Which humans improved by inventing politics...
(I'll let myself out)
posted by mule98J at 6:45 PM on February 4
That's a great story, y2karl.
An ex of mine was in 9th grade when she and a group of classmates decided to test the urban myth that farts were flammable.
A particularly gassy boy got on his hands and knees and she held the match behind. I don't remember her telling me whether he pulled his pants down or not.
But a pretty spectacular flame did indeed result! — and he was rushed to the ER because the flame somehow went back up inside.
posted by jamjam at 8:34 PM on February 4
An ex of mine was in 9th grade when she and a group of classmates decided to test the urban myth that farts were flammable.
A particularly gassy boy got on his hands and knees and she held the match behind. I don't remember her telling me whether he pulled his pants down or not.
But a pretty spectacular flame did indeed result! — and he was rushed to the ER because the flame somehow went back up inside.
posted by jamjam at 8:34 PM on February 4
Everyone should know by now, you're not supposed to keep pouring gas on a lit fire!
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:50 PM on February 4
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:50 PM on February 4
« Older All about the lithium | Mathis! MATHIS! Mathis! MATHIS! Mathis! MATHIS! Newer »
posted by Lemkin at 12:15 PM on February 3 [3 favorites]