Why you should treat wombats with respect
March 13, 2025 12:43 AM Subscribe
Most wombats are shy, gentle, and timid unless you make them angry, but they are very muscular and have sharp claws. A man in 2010 had the misfortune of accidentally startling a wombat that had sought shelter from a bushfire under his caravan: 20 minutes later, he was in a condition that resulted in him being admitted to hospital with significant injuries to his arms and legs. (And yes, if this had happened to the influencer who kidnapped a baby wombat, I would have been on team wombat.) Meanwhile the woman who kidnapped a baby wombat is having her visa reviewed and may not be allowed back into Australia again.
Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese also weighed in on Thursday afternoon, saying it was an "outrage".
"They are gentle, lovely creatures... I suggest to this so-called influencer, maybe she should try some other Australian animals, maybe she should try a crocodile.
"Take a baby crocodile from its mother and see how you go there. Take another animal that can actually fight back rather than stealing a baby wombat from its mother."
Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese also weighed in on Thursday afternoon, saying it was an "outrage".
"They are gentle, lovely creatures... I suggest to this so-called influencer, maybe she should try some other Australian animals, maybe she should try a crocodile.
"Take a baby crocodile from its mother and see how you go there. Take another animal that can actually fight back rather than stealing a baby wombat from its mother."
I anticipate our starting (accelerating?) a trade war with Australia over our newest American icon.
posted by Going To Maine at 12:54 AM on March 13
posted by Going To Maine at 12:54 AM on March 13
A trade war started yesterday when the Orange Fuckwit initiated tariffs on Australian imports. I'm not only on Team Wombat, but on Team Yankee Go Home.
posted by prismatic7 at 2:14 AM on March 13 [8 favorites]
posted by prismatic7 at 2:14 AM on March 13 [8 favorites]
Apologies, here's an explanatory video link. Derail over.
posted by prismatic7 at 2:16 AM on March 13
posted by prismatic7 at 2:16 AM on March 13
[walks out into Parliament wearing the one great Boot]
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 4:09 AM on March 13 [7 favorites]
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 4:09 AM on March 13 [7 favorites]
We can't allow people to imagine that Australian wildlife will not Fuck You Up Bigtime unless you politely observe them from a respectful distance. They might start to question the whole dropbear educational campaign and endanger themselves and others.
Clearly we must send in the cassowaries to restore order.
posted by But tomorrow is another day... at 5:08 AM on March 13 [14 favorites]
Clearly we must send in the cassowaries to restore order.
posted by But tomorrow is another day... at 5:08 AM on March 13 [14 favorites]
I think you all know which side I’m on.
posted by turbowombat at 5:32 AM on March 13 [28 favorites]
posted by turbowombat at 5:32 AM on March 13 [28 favorites]
I'm dreaming of a world where people who mishandle wild animals lose their social media accounts. And people who followed them find their feeds full of videos explaining why you shouldn't follow or watch people who post content where others mishandle wild animals. Including all those people with "exotic" pets.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 5:53 AM on March 13 [13 favorites]
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 5:53 AM on March 13 [13 favorites]
may not be allowed back into Australia again.
As an American, I vote for not letting her back here either.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 7:40 AM on March 13 [9 favorites]
As an American, I vote for not letting her back here either.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 7:40 AM on March 13 [9 favorites]
My favorite (and only) wombat fact is that their poop is cube-shaped.
posted by jquinby at 7:48 AM on March 13 [4 favorites]
posted by jquinby at 7:48 AM on March 13 [4 favorites]
Now I need a T shirt that just says "Leave the wombat alone"
posted by caution live frogs at 8:19 AM on March 13 [2 favorites]
posted by caution live frogs at 8:19 AM on March 13 [2 favorites]
Social media influencers are just the ♫WOOO-OOOORST!♪
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 10:01 AM on March 13 [3 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 10:01 AM on March 13 [3 favorites]
Though I do kind of wish that wombat mother went berserker on that wombat abuser (and her chortling accomplice), people should treat all animals, especially their young, with respect, and it shouldn’t depend on their ability to fuck people up.
posted by house-goblin at 10:25 AM on March 13 [8 favorites]
posted by house-goblin at 10:25 AM on March 13 [8 favorites]
𝅘𝅥𝅮 🎹 𝅘𝅥𝅮 MORTAL WOMBAT! 𝅘𝅥𝅮 🎹 𝅘𝅥𝅮
posted by a faded photo of their beloved at 12:57 PM on March 13 [6 favorites]
posted by a faded photo of their beloved at 12:57 PM on March 13 [6 favorites]
Nash was ahead of his time!
"WOMBAT"
by Ogden Nash
The wombat lives across the seas,
Among the far Antipodes.
He may exist on nuts and berries,
Or then again, on missionaries;
His distant habitat precludes
Conclusive knowledge of his moods,
But I would not engage the wombat
In any form of mortal combat.
posted by Mad_Carew at 1:18 PM on March 13 [16 favorites]
"WOMBAT"
by Ogden Nash
The wombat lives across the seas,
Among the far Antipodes.
He may exist on nuts and berries,
Or then again, on missionaries;
His distant habitat precludes
Conclusive knowledge of his moods,
But I would not engage the wombat
In any form of mortal combat.
posted by Mad_Carew at 1:18 PM on March 13 [16 favorites]
Disparaging the wombat is a wombattable offense.
posted by rhizome at 3:15 PM on March 13 [2 favorites]
posted by rhizome at 3:15 PM on March 13 [2 favorites]
Jokes aside, ministerial discretion on visas is prone to abuse. If you can use it to kick out this stupid animal abuser without trial, then you can use it to kick out, say, Palestinians protesting genocide.
There's a process for this. She committed a crime. On camera. Charge her, prosecute her, deport her.
However, my emotional response to this 'hunting influencer' is that she should be hunted for sport. She can wear a gopro, I'm sure it will make for great content.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:10 PM on March 13 [4 favorites]
There's a process for this. She committed a crime. On camera. Charge her, prosecute her, deport her.
However, my emotional response to this 'hunting influencer' is that she should be hunted for sport. She can wear a gopro, I'm sure it will make for great content.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:10 PM on March 13 [4 favorites]
There's a process for this.
There is. The Minister (or their delegate) can cancel her (or anyone else's) visa if the conditions of the visa have been breached. If she disagrees with that decision, she can apply to the Administrative Review Tribunal to have that decision reviewed by an independent body. So, yes, there is the possibility of abuse by a Minister, but any such abuse is unlikely because of the independent review process.
Unfortunately, the wombat is unlikely to be called as a witness at any such proceeding. Fortunately for this 'influencer', she displayed her stupidity in an open area. A pissed-off wombat in an enclosed space makes a drop bear look like a teddy.
posted by dg at 4:18 PM on March 13 [3 favorites]
There is. The Minister (or their delegate) can cancel her (or anyone else's) visa if the conditions of the visa have been breached. If she disagrees with that decision, she can apply to the Administrative Review Tribunal to have that decision reviewed by an independent body. So, yes, there is the possibility of abuse by a Minister, but any such abuse is unlikely because of the independent review process.
Unfortunately, the wombat is unlikely to be called as a witness at any such proceeding. Fortunately for this 'influencer', she displayed her stupidity in an open area. A pissed-off wombat in an enclosed space makes a drop bear look like a teddy.
posted by dg at 4:18 PM on March 13 [3 favorites]
Given the reasons for replacing the Administrative Appeals Tribunal with the Administrative Review Tribunal and the case history of the Migration and Refugee Division, I would be more equivocal about the potential for abuse in practice, as distinct from theory.
posted by But tomorrow is another day... at 6:48 PM on March 13 [1 favorite]
posted by But tomorrow is another day... at 6:48 PM on March 13 [1 favorite]
She's gone. Flew out before she could be investigated for breaching the conditions of her visa.
But just in case she returns, the Queensland Conservation Council has released 'Touching wild animals: a guide for influencers.
posted by Thella at 10:46 PM on March 13
But just in case she returns, the Queensland Conservation Council has released 'Touching wild animals: a guide for influencers.
posted by Thella at 10:46 PM on March 13
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posted by antipodes at 12:45 AM on March 13 [16 favorites]