On Bleatedness
March 18, 2025 6:53 AM Subscribe
Welcome to your belated bleated Free Thread! Since the thread had not been posted yet, I figured I would throw the conversation starter out about how one feels about tardiness and/or belatedness. Are those the same to you? Are you the type of person who shows up 15 minutes early to everything and stress out if you are only one minute early? Or, are you the type of person who takes a time to meet as a guideline and don't mind showing up 10 minutes late?
Then, I typo-ed the title and that sounds like a good question, too. Do you like bleats? Do you have a preference of sheep bleats or goat bleats? Do you have a preference of one of those animals over the other?
Or, talk about whatever you so prefer (excepting Politics)! It's your weekly Free Thread!
Had to happen eventually, but at age 11 my kid's decided he's too old to have a bedtime story. I had one more Diana Wynne Jones I was hoping to get through ("Archer's Goon") but I guess I'll just have to read it myself if I want it. Feels weird to go and do something else at that time after doing it almost every night for most of a decade.
posted by TheophileEscargot at 7:11 AM on March 18 [15 favorites]
posted by TheophileEscargot at 7:11 AM on March 18 [15 favorites]
There's the old observation that in cold countries you show respect for people by not taking up any more of their time than you have to, as they might need to keep moving to stay warm, and in warm countries you show respect for people by not making them hurry, as rushing someone will make them overheat.
I think preferences for punctuality are cultural, and often innate, as some people have much worse time sense than others. I know people who can't guess how long anything will take to safe their life. Some never leave enough time, some always leave too much time, and others could be rudely late or rudely early unpredictably. Of course having a poor time sense can make you really impatient as waiting for ten minutes may feel interminable, so I think our feelings around punctuality come from our micro-culture and the larger culture we grow up in. Having poor time sense is likely to just going to make you have feelings about being late that don't align with others.
Me, I am procrastinating on Metafilter this morning...
posted by Jane the Brown at 7:13 AM on March 18 [6 favorites]
I think preferences for punctuality are cultural, and often innate, as some people have much worse time sense than others. I know people who can't guess how long anything will take to safe their life. Some never leave enough time, some always leave too much time, and others could be rudely late or rudely early unpredictably. Of course having a poor time sense can make you really impatient as waiting for ten minutes may feel interminable, so I think our feelings around punctuality come from our micro-culture and the larger culture we grow up in. Having poor time sense is likely to just going to make you have feelings about being late that don't align with others.
Me, I am procrastinating on Metafilter this morning...
posted by Jane the Brown at 7:13 AM on March 18 [6 favorites]
I think preferences for punctuality are cultural
Very much so! I had to get used to Indian time when I became more involved in my partner's family, for example. I don't think it's necessarily innate, though--because I would have described myself as that 15 minutes early person by nature, except when I finally left organizations led by old white men who would make it everyone's problem if you were five minutes late, I found that I'm not actually that much of a stickler for time as long as I'm not also being expected to be very suddenly present when the person does show up. I can wander off and do something else, and the person who is late will respect me finishing that up before we connect rather than be like OKAY I'M HERE NOW THE MEETING MUST START.
So I think it depends a lot on the outside context. And how self-important the people you're meeting with feel they are.
rudely early
This is the perfect description for a phenomenon I've noticed recently, thanks for putting these two words together lol.
posted by brook horse at 7:19 AM on March 18 [4 favorites]
Very much so! I had to get used to Indian time when I became more involved in my partner's family, for example. I don't think it's necessarily innate, though--because I would have described myself as that 15 minutes early person by nature, except when I finally left organizations led by old white men who would make it everyone's problem if you were five minutes late, I found that I'm not actually that much of a stickler for time as long as I'm not also being expected to be very suddenly present when the person does show up. I can wander off and do something else, and the person who is late will respect me finishing that up before we connect rather than be like OKAY I'M HERE NOW THE MEETING MUST START.
So I think it depends a lot on the outside context. And how self-important the people you're meeting with feel they are.
rudely early
This is the perfect description for a phenomenon I've noticed recently, thanks for putting these two words together lol.
posted by brook horse at 7:19 AM on March 18 [4 favorites]
My kids LOVE rando baby goats at the petting zoos/experiences around here, but my heart belongs to whatever bleating noises come from those fainting goats. Because fainting is (i guess, sadly?) adorable in goats.
posted by atomicstone at 7:23 AM on March 18 [2 favorites]
posted by atomicstone at 7:23 AM on March 18 [2 favorites]
Show up on time. Everyone else made it to the meeting at ten, why are you walking in at ten past? It's disrespectful.
Now, inside your own (sub)culture, the rules may be different, and so long as everyone understands that for some reason, seven-thirty means nine o'clock, that's fine. If I'm dealing with any subculture outside my own, and they say seven-thirty, I'll immediately ask them what time that really means, so that I can be punctual for that instead of being rudely early. Usually, that person will be like "oh yeah, that's a good question to ask, show up at nine and you'll be cool." Okay. Why you can't just say the party starts at nine instead of saying seven-thirty and expecting everyone to be 90 minutes late, I'll just file away as "not my subculture, not really my business".
If the organization has a more or less explicit understanding that "the meeting starts at ten" really means "we won't start until ten past", then okay, that's fine too. I'll probably just not get too involved with that organization.
posted by outgrown_hobnail at 7:26 AM on March 18 [2 favorites]
Now, inside your own (sub)culture, the rules may be different, and so long as everyone understands that for some reason, seven-thirty means nine o'clock, that's fine. If I'm dealing with any subculture outside my own, and they say seven-thirty, I'll immediately ask them what time that really means, so that I can be punctual for that instead of being rudely early. Usually, that person will be like "oh yeah, that's a good question to ask, show up at nine and you'll be cool." Okay. Why you can't just say the party starts at nine instead of saying seven-thirty and expecting everyone to be 90 minutes late, I'll just file away as "not my subculture, not really my business".
If the organization has a more or less explicit understanding that "the meeting starts at ten" really means "we won't start until ten past", then okay, that's fine too. I'll probably just not get too involved with that organization.
posted by outgrown_hobnail at 7:26 AM on March 18 [2 favorites]
“I’ll be there at 3:00” is a verbal contract. If I break that contract, what does that say about me? What am I saying about the value of your time?
posted by Lemkin at 7:29 AM on March 18 [4 favorites]
posted by Lemkin at 7:29 AM on March 18 [4 favorites]
A few minutes late is fine with me (like under 10), especially if it's not something that's overly time-sensitive (so not like a movie) but more than that without a reason or a heads-up begins to feel rude to me.
I'm perpetually early, which is something I'm trying to break myself of (often, because I'm too early). I know that's part of how I deal with my anxiety of the unknown, though, so if I have to walk around a bit or sit in my car for a few minutes, that's OK.
posted by edencosmic at 7:35 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
I'm perpetually early, which is something I'm trying to break myself of (often, because I'm too early). I know that's part of how I deal with my anxiety of the unknown, though, so if I have to walk around a bit or sit in my car for a few minutes, that's OK.
posted by edencosmic at 7:35 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
Back when I worked at the International Rescue Committee, there was someone running a goat farm as a way to help new refugees resettle in the US. One spring they sent someone in our HR department a short video of the new goat kids playing on this springy ramp someone had set up for them; she shared it with the rest of us, of course.
For a full two weeks afterward, as me and the other 3 people in my team sat at our desks, we could always tell when someone was having a bit of a challenging day because at some point they would stop, type something short into their computer, and stop - and then after a few seconds we would hear teeny kid bleats coming out of their computer speaker. Then after a minute or two they would resume their work.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:39 AM on March 18 [12 favorites]
For a full two weeks afterward, as me and the other 3 people in my team sat at our desks, we could always tell when someone was having a bit of a challenging day because at some point they would stop, type something short into their computer, and stop - and then after a few seconds we would hear teeny kid bleats coming out of their computer speaker. Then after a minute or two they would resume their work.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:39 AM on March 18 [12 favorites]
i'm a punctual person and i expect others to be punctual also, because i cannot do anything while i'm waiting for an appointment because there's a mental process that runs when "someone is expected" that keeps me from focusing on other tasks, because if I don't keep refreshing the short-term memory on all the things that need to be done and social expectations that must be managed when there is "an appointment" i will be useless when they show up. it's autism, it's adhd, it's misanthropy, call it whatever you want.
on the other hand, when i have e.g. a doctor appointment and i have to sit in the waiting room because they're running late, i am the happiest motherfucker because my Task is to Sit and Do Nothing and Wait, and i have No Obligations beyond that.
i have a lot of anger still from people 35 years in my past who could not keep social appointments timely, and would shrug when called out, and it's like, i can put up with them being terminally late, or just not invite them. what the hell. still mad!
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:47 AM on March 18 [3 favorites]
on the other hand, when i have e.g. a doctor appointment and i have to sit in the waiting room because they're running late, i am the happiest motherfucker because my Task is to Sit and Do Nothing and Wait, and i have No Obligations beyond that.
i have a lot of anger still from people 35 years in my past who could not keep social appointments timely, and would shrug when called out, and it's like, i can put up with them being terminally late, or just not invite them. what the hell. still mad!
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:47 AM on March 18 [3 favorites]
I'm always early, like 10-15 minutes early. I'm often the first person there. It's a painful experience to force myself to arrive at a party 20 minutes late because that's when literally everyone else is arriving. Emotionally painful. I think I have an explanation though; as a kid, my mom often delivered us kids to school or events or parties late, and I was always mortified. Things were already going on and I wasn't included. It was horrible. So, now I'm early.
We had gotten -- from where, I do not know -- a small goat toy with a button on it that played the internet-famous "Screaming Goat" sound. Our house is generally quiet, so it became a "I'm walking by it, I make the goat scream" thing for both of us, which always got giddy laughter from the unexpecting spouse.
My wife, the found-item-sculptor, started a work of art which involved a sterling silver ice-cream cup, with a small 1960s-era doll head replacing the scoop of ice cream on top. She painted the doll head - which already had pink hair -- like a clown's face,but the piece de resistance was that she tore apart the screaming goat toy and put the soundmaker inside the doll head, so if you pressed the back of its rubber skull it will scream like a goat.
It was purchased by a local clown (who is also a good friend) to use in her act, and from what I understand it's an absurd, wacky hit with small children. Here it is, held by my wife (not a clown). Here it is being held by said clown (not my wife).
Film student update: A week off from both the independent film and from school (spring break). It gave me time to finish my SMPTE color-management course -- I got 95% on my final, and the things I got wrong were sooooo close (you know the questions, multiple choice where two are almost indistinguishable and you doubt the correct answer). But, aside from all the technical definitions and what video color space means what and how light becomes image through a sensor -- the main core of the class was thinking about how to manage color from the camera through delivery, and since I'm very camera-focused now I have a lot to think about.
In being the opposite of a film student: a local modeling/casting agency does workshops over the summer for youth and adults, and put out a call for local filmmakers and TV people to help with said workshops, but not many details about it. Most of the actors that I know work with this agency and I haven't heard anything bad about them, so I sent an email and I'm meeting with them this Thursday to get more details.
This week: The Fargo Film Festival! I'm emcee'ing Friday morning's session in the large theater, which will include moderating a Q&A with a filmmaker and her costar, which is always fun. Part of being on the jury means you need to take a shift or two running things, and I'm at the merch table from Wednesday at 1pm to 9pm, which is less fun. Friday there's a luncheon with speakers, and I'm going with my friend/professor/director; Saturday is a different luncheon, and I'm taking my dad. Both of those should be fun. I'm going to meet a filmmaker that I've only corresponded with via email, and get to see people I haven't seen since the last Fargo Film Festival, and watch a bunch of movies and eat a lot of popcorn, all of which is why I take PTO to attend as many things as possible. It's a good time.
posted by AzraelBrown at 7:56 AM on March 18 [7 favorites]
We had gotten -- from where, I do not know -- a small goat toy with a button on it that played the internet-famous "Screaming Goat" sound. Our house is generally quiet, so it became a "I'm walking by it, I make the goat scream" thing for both of us, which always got giddy laughter from the unexpecting spouse.
My wife, the found-item-sculptor, started a work of art which involved a sterling silver ice-cream cup, with a small 1960s-era doll head replacing the scoop of ice cream on top. She painted the doll head - which already had pink hair -- like a clown's face,but the piece de resistance was that she tore apart the screaming goat toy and put the soundmaker inside the doll head, so if you pressed the back of its rubber skull it will scream like a goat.
It was purchased by a local clown (who is also a good friend) to use in her act, and from what I understand it's an absurd, wacky hit with small children. Here it is, held by my wife (not a clown). Here it is being held by said clown (not my wife).
Film student update: A week off from both the independent film and from school (spring break). It gave me time to finish my SMPTE color-management course -- I got 95% on my final, and the things I got wrong were sooooo close (you know the questions, multiple choice where two are almost indistinguishable and you doubt the correct answer). But, aside from all the technical definitions and what video color space means what and how light becomes image through a sensor -- the main core of the class was thinking about how to manage color from the camera through delivery, and since I'm very camera-focused now I have a lot to think about.
In being the opposite of a film student: a local modeling/casting agency does workshops over the summer for youth and adults, and put out a call for local filmmakers and TV people to help with said workshops, but not many details about it. Most of the actors that I know work with this agency and I haven't heard anything bad about them, so I sent an email and I'm meeting with them this Thursday to get more details.
This week: The Fargo Film Festival! I'm emcee'ing Friday morning's session in the large theater, which will include moderating a Q&A with a filmmaker and her costar, which is always fun. Part of being on the jury means you need to take a shift or two running things, and I'm at the merch table from Wednesday at 1pm to 9pm, which is less fun. Friday there's a luncheon with speakers, and I'm going with my friend/professor/director; Saturday is a different luncheon, and I'm taking my dad. Both of those should be fun. I'm going to meet a filmmaker that I've only corresponded with via email, and get to see people I haven't seen since the last Fargo Film Festival, and watch a bunch of movies and eat a lot of popcorn, all of which is why I take PTO to attend as many things as possible. It's a good time.
posted by AzraelBrown at 7:56 AM on March 18 [7 favorites]
I am that guy that frets about being 1 minute late. The clock in my car is 15 minutes fast. I call if I even suspect I'm going to be late. My therapist laughs when I call to say I'm going to be late, saying "Oh that just means you're going to be on time, instead of 10 minutes early"
Oddly enough, this focus on being so timely rarely works out when delivering mail, 'cause each day is different in terms of amount of mail and packages needing to be delivered.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:00 AM on March 18 [5 favorites]
Oddly enough, this focus on being so timely rarely works out when delivering mail, 'cause each day is different in terms of amount of mail and packages needing to be delivered.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:00 AM on March 18 [5 favorites]
I'm an On Time person and it annoys me because my mother was frequently late and vacillates between "can't get her shit together," "has no sense of time management" and my personal rage favorite, "Oh, I just got talking to so-and-so...." I raged out one time when she was supposed to pick me up from the airport and blew me off to chat with a friend. I knew she wouldn't listen to me, so I had a friend chew her out. Bad idea! Started a feud for a year! Made no difference in her lateness anyway!
It seems to me like the late people just have no sense of time. Like they think driving across town is going to take 5 minutes when really, 5 minutes is a few blocks. Everything to them is in the moment. There's not much you can do about that. Or my chaos magnet friend who one time was all, "I had to walk my dog and she got in the mud," followed by "There were kids biking in the street" and blah blah blah chain of disaster lateness. This is Just What She Does and nothing can be done about it.
Ironically, I was late to work today, because despite starting the Driving Process 45 minutes before having to be at work (it's a 23 minute drive), it took 25 minutes for my car to defrost enough to be able to see to drive. However, my boss doesn't come in until an hour after I do, and frankly, as long as we're all in before she is, nobody notices here.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:06 AM on March 18 [3 favorites]
It seems to me like the late people just have no sense of time. Like they think driving across town is going to take 5 minutes when really, 5 minutes is a few blocks. Everything to them is in the moment. There's not much you can do about that. Or my chaos magnet friend who one time was all, "I had to walk my dog and she got in the mud," followed by "There were kids biking in the street" and blah blah blah chain of disaster lateness. This is Just What She Does and nothing can be done about it.
Ironically, I was late to work today, because despite starting the Driving Process 45 minutes before having to be at work (it's a 23 minute drive), it took 25 minutes for my car to defrost enough to be able to see to drive. However, my boss doesn't come in until an hour after I do, and frankly, as long as we're all in before she is, nobody notices here.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:06 AM on March 18 [3 favorites]
Do I need to send you a Canadian icescraper for your Californian frost jenfullmoon?
posted by sardonyx at 8:10 AM on March 18
posted by sardonyx at 8:10 AM on March 18
Now, inside your own (sub)culture
Anytime a person uses language that assumes a dominant culture and sub-cultures, I think it's useful to pause on that assumption
I like to be on time. I will not go to my grave and think "at least I tried to be on time" like it was a life achievement. Life is short, I think some people fixate on how others need to be on time because of that but it seems equally valid to fixate on Nothing Really Matters and being early, on time, late, it will all be fine. Sure there are exceptions, that's fine also.
posted by ginger.beef at 8:21 AM on March 18 [2 favorites]
Anytime a person uses language that assumes a dominant culture and sub-cultures, I think it's useful to pause on that assumption
I like to be on time. I will not go to my grave and think "at least I tried to be on time" like it was a life achievement. Life is short, I think some people fixate on how others need to be on time because of that but it seems equally valid to fixate on Nothing Really Matters and being early, on time, late, it will all be fine. Sure there are exceptions, that's fine also.
posted by ginger.beef at 8:21 AM on March 18 [2 favorites]
I was informed yesterday that I did not get the position I had interviewed for (and mistakenly thought I could get promoted to). I have no clue what I'm going to do next. This has not been a good year and it's still only March.
posted by tommasz at 8:22 AM on March 18 [7 favorites]
posted by tommasz at 8:22 AM on March 18 [7 favorites]
Do I need to send you a Canadian icescraper for your Californian frost jenfullmoon?
Maybe? It was waiting for the car to de-steam that was the issue this morning. I'm not great at figuring out how to de-ice/de-steam a car by any means, but the front windshield was extremely foggy and even on full blast heat it takes a long time to de-steam, and especially takes the longest in front of where I'm sitting. I don't really get how to deal with this sort of thing and for most of my life, I have not had to (before this job, didn't drive in early mornings). Also sounds stupid to say this in non-mountainous CA, but it's true.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:47 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
Maybe? It was waiting for the car to de-steam that was the issue this morning. I'm not great at figuring out how to de-ice/de-steam a car by any means, but the front windshield was extremely foggy and even on full blast heat it takes a long time to de-steam, and especially takes the longest in front of where I'm sitting. I don't really get how to deal with this sort of thing and for most of my life, I have not had to (before this job, didn't drive in early mornings). Also sounds stupid to say this in non-mountainous CA, but it's true.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:47 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
Most of my professional working lives have had an element of time management, people time management, project time management...the delivery date is in 7 days, we need 11 shifts spread between 4 teams to complete the phases, materials have to be delivered by no later than, etc etc. It made shifting to cooking professionally really easy, as catering or shift work is the same, ordering produce on a different day than normal because there won't be room in the walkins if ordered days earlier...travel is just another type of time scheduling, if we want to get to Tennessee by Friday let's think about what's in between and where we want to stay and, importantly, where are we going to eat and snack along the way? Is there a wacky food museum we need to see? How much BBQ can we safely ingest while driving 12 hours a day?
There is a Cheech & Chong bit on an early album (sigh, they're all a long time ago aren't they), perhaps where they are dogs? Anyway, Cheech demands to know where the Chong character has been, who replies, "I'm not in to time, man." Something I try to remind myself when the chaos magnets in my life finally arrive (thanks to jenfullmoon for that phrase, some folks just walk out the front door and life starts happening).
I like that slowed video of the baby goats leaping to a piece of classical music.
posted by winesong at 8:49 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
There is a Cheech & Chong bit on an early album (sigh, they're all a long time ago aren't they), perhaps where they are dogs? Anyway, Cheech demands to know where the Chong character has been, who replies, "I'm not in to time, man." Something I try to remind myself when the chaos magnets in my life finally arrive (thanks to jenfullmoon for that phrase, some folks just walk out the front door and life starts happening).
I like that slowed video of the baby goats leaping to a piece of classical music.
posted by winesong at 8:49 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
I like to be on time but I don’t fret too much about being a few minutes late. Never early, though! And it’s okay for other people to be late as long as it’s not unbearably late, which starts happening for me usually between 10-15 minutes.
I had a surgery done on my foot and now I’m off work for the next 6 weeks or so. Yay, no work and still getting paid! Boo, pain and discomfort….but either way, so far so good.
posted by ashbury at 8:51 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
I had a surgery done on my foot and now I’m off work for the next 6 weeks or so. Yay, no work and still getting paid! Boo, pain and discomfort….but either way, so far so good.
posted by ashbury at 8:51 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
well yesterday was my birthday and I thought "oh its Free Thread day, I'll say happy st p's etc.," but then no one posted. I thought about posting it myself but I didn't know if I could? like, is there a protocol for who does it? a list, a pecking order?
anyway. I am 57 now, which is not at all exciting but I had a pretty nice weekend.
I HATE tardiness. I am a New Yorker (ish) living in California and no one out here is EVER on time and it drives me crazy, I have a strong preference for punctuality. le sigh.
posted by supermedusa at 8:55 AM on March 18 [5 favorites]
anyway. I am 57 now, which is not at all exciting but I had a pretty nice weekend.
I HATE tardiness. I am a New Yorker (ish) living in California and no one out here is EVER on time and it drives me crazy, I have a strong preference for punctuality. le sigh.
posted by supermedusa at 8:55 AM on March 18 [5 favorites]
Sheep? Goats? Bah! ;)
Despite my best efforts, I am usually unfashionably early (i.e. I arrive at the stated time) to social events; meanwhile most of the others straggle in over the next 30-60 minutes. This behavior is more or less a constant for all parties, and I don't know why I can't alter my behavior to avoid being the first one there. The host doesn't mind when I'm the only one there, but I feel a bit, I don't know, intrusive.
Regarding other peoples' lateness, I only get worked up about it in rare cases where it really matters, otherwise I'll sit and browse the web on my phone or something.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:55 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
Despite my best efforts, I am usually unfashionably early (i.e. I arrive at the stated time) to social events; meanwhile most of the others straggle in over the next 30-60 minutes. This behavior is more or less a constant for all parties, and I don't know why I can't alter my behavior to avoid being the first one there. The host doesn't mind when I'm the only one there, but I feel a bit, I don't know, intrusive.
Regarding other peoples' lateness, I only get worked up about it in rare cases where it really matters, otherwise I'll sit and browse the web on my phone or something.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:55 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
jenfullmoon, I recently learned the "trick" to defrosting your windshield quickly: In addition to turning the temp up all the way and setting fan speed to maximum, turn on the AC to dehumidify the air coming out of the vents. It makes a big difference! I can't believe it took me until my 60's to learn this...
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:01 AM on March 18 [3 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:01 AM on March 18 [3 favorites]
Chile used to be 15-minutes-isn't-even-late culture, but it's gotten better. I usually try to be at least 5 minutes early.
posted by signal at 9:03 AM on March 18
posted by signal at 9:03 AM on March 18
I thought about posting it myself but I didn't know if I could?
Absolutely!
like, is there a protocol for who does it? a list, a pecking order?
None at all. It's just whoever feels like doing it.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:04 AM on March 18 [5 favorites]
Absolutely!
like, is there a protocol for who does it? a list, a pecking order?
None at all. It's just whoever feels like doing it.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:04 AM on March 18 [5 favorites]
Not much to mention this week, except that I have a new foster cat (cat tax) Jeremy. He is very sweet and chill, and has absolutely the softest fur I have ever petted on any cat. I bet he’s going to adopt away very quickly just like Burt did. But first he needs to get his vax and snip!
posted by notoriety public at 9:09 AM on March 18 [5 favorites]
posted by notoriety public at 9:09 AM on March 18 [5 favorites]
Maybe? It was waiting for the car to de-steam that was the issue this morning. I'm not great at figuring out how to de-ice/de-steam a car by any means, but the front windshield was extremely foggy and even on full blast heat it takes a long time to de-steam
If the fog is on the inner surface, in older cars this was often a sign of a leaking heater core since ethylene glycol is much more resistant to evaporation than water.
posted by jamjam at 9:12 AM on March 18
If the fog is on the inner surface, in older cars this was often a sign of a leaking heater core since ethylene glycol is much more resistant to evaporation than water.
posted by jamjam at 9:12 AM on March 18
ok, here's the breakdown:
IT MATTERS TO BE ON TIME:
professional stuff, work meetings etc., you show your own professionalness and respect to your colleagues. of course not everyone manages to adhere to this standard
timed events: movies for example, or social stuff where a person will be left hanging waiting for you, like a restaurant with reservations
IT'S GOOD TO BE EARLY:
the airport, 'nuff said
IT DOESN'T MATTER TO BE ON TIME:
non-time specific, casual social stuff, "I'm coming to your house mid afternoon, go about yr biz til I get there"
IT'S BAD TO BE EARLY:
house parties, social events with a non-critical start time.
I've hosted lots of parties, hosts are never ready on time so if you show up on time, please show up prepared to help get things ready.
posted by supermedusa at 9:14 AM on March 18 [9 favorites]
IT MATTERS TO BE ON TIME:
professional stuff, work meetings etc., you show your own professionalness and respect to your colleagues. of course not everyone manages to adhere to this standard
timed events: movies for example, or social stuff where a person will be left hanging waiting for you, like a restaurant with reservations
IT'S GOOD TO BE EARLY:
the airport, 'nuff said
IT DOESN'T MATTER TO BE ON TIME:
non-time specific, casual social stuff, "I'm coming to your house mid afternoon, go about yr biz til I get there"
IT'S BAD TO BE EARLY:
house parties, social events with a non-critical start time.
I've hosted lots of parties, hosts are never ready on time so if you show up on time, please show up prepared to help get things ready.
posted by supermedusa at 9:14 AM on March 18 [9 favorites]
my husband is a classic do it at the last minute, always late kind of person. it was a running joke back when we used to entertain a lot that if you showed up on time you were likely to see him running around naked either to or from the shower.
posted by supermedusa at 9:17 AM on March 18 [2 favorites]
posted by supermedusa at 9:17 AM on March 18 [2 favorites]
I want people to tell me what time to show up so I can comply and know what to expect. The “if you’re not ten minutes early, you’re late” crowd that looks askance at me when I arrive at the appointed time can go to hell. If you wanted me there ten minutes earlier, you should’ve told me. Similarly, if I invite you to do something, please do your best to show up on time: no arriving 20 minutes early while I’m still getting ready. I’d prefer you not appear 30 minutes late either, because now I’m worried and the hot snacks are cooling off; just shoot me a text. Ten minutes late so I can do some last minute prep? Thanks, I guess.
Lest you think I’m totally intolerant, I get that there are culturally and situationally variations to what’s acceptable, e.g., social gatherings can be approximate while business meetings start on time. And LA folks forgive traffic delays and my drawbridge-dependent neighbors understand that opening/closing timing affects punctuality intentions. But this notion that we will all tacitly adjust a stated time on an invitation based on unstated norms I’m just supposed to magically understand drives me nuts.
posted by carmicha at 9:26 AM on March 18 [2 favorites]
Lest you think I’m totally intolerant, I get that there are culturally and situationally variations to what’s acceptable, e.g., social gatherings can be approximate while business meetings start on time. And LA folks forgive traffic delays and my drawbridge-dependent neighbors understand that opening/closing timing affects punctuality intentions. But this notion that we will all tacitly adjust a stated time on an invitation based on unstated norms I’m just supposed to magically understand drives me nuts.
posted by carmicha at 9:26 AM on March 18 [2 favorites]
Um, how do you run the heat and AC at the same time? My car only does one or the other.
If the fog is on the inner surface, in older cars this was often a sign of a leaking heater core since ethylene glycol is much more resistant to evaporation than water.
Hm, good question. It's not an older car (5 years) and as far as I know it's not having any issues. But I started poking it from the inside today and then "oh, looks like I can clean that off." I thought it was all outside.
Seriously, I am not good on de-frosting cars worth a damn! Nobody taught me how!
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:29 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
If the fog is on the inner surface, in older cars this was often a sign of a leaking heater core since ethylene glycol is much more resistant to evaporation than water.
Hm, good question. It's not an older car (5 years) and as far as I know it's not having any issues. But I started poking it from the inside today and then "oh, looks like I can clean that off." I thought it was all outside.
Seriously, I am not good on de-frosting cars worth a damn! Nobody taught me how!
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:29 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
well yesterday was my birthday and I thought "oh its Free Thread day, I'll say happy st p's etc.," but then no one posted. I thought about posting it myself but I didn't know if I could? like, is there a protocol for who does it? a list, a pecking order?
I thought about doing it since nobody else had, but I was going to post something else on the day, so I did not. Literally just do it if you wanna.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:30 AM on March 18 [3 favorites]
I thought about doing it since nobody else had, but I was going to post something else on the day, so I did not. Literally just do it if you wanna.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:30 AM on March 18 [3 favorites]
jenfullmoon, run the heat and open a window about a quarter of the way. Second, you say that nobody taught you how so please don’t be offended, are you using the front window defrost mode?
posted by ashbury at 9:39 AM on March 18
posted by ashbury at 9:39 AM on March 18
Our family has previously diagnosed and undiagnosed ADHD for all but a few of us, from my mother, to my siblings, to their children. It has affected our time sense in different ways. I have two siblings who cannot for the life of them understand that trying to pack too many activities into a given time period means you will always be late after a couple of them. My mother, god bless, could not keep an appointment without it being a regular routine. She was consistently late for the start of things, but was so good-natured that most people forgave her. Most frustrating for us, my father and I had the plan-to-get-there-a-little-early gene and this sometimes led to us sitting in the car waiting for others. It's been amusing seeing my siblings have to deal with their own children's strategies around time.
posted by drossdragon at 9:39 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
posted by drossdragon at 9:39 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
for all the merits of "being on time" I will say that it's such a common tactic of a type of domineering person to enforce time in a certain way: if you are running late, it's a huge problem. If they are running late, it's always either justified or "not a big deal, lighten up."
time is a minefield because people
without people, there is daytime and nighttime and seasons
posted by ginger.beef at 9:46 AM on March 18 [4 favorites]
time is a minefield because people
without people, there is daytime and nighttime and seasons
posted by ginger.beef at 9:46 AM on March 18 [4 favorites]
I'm always 7 to 8 minutes early for every appointment. To do otherwise seems irresponsible and immature.
posted by Czjewel at 9:48 AM on March 18
posted by Czjewel at 9:48 AM on March 18
tommasz, I am currently working for WA State and we are all on notice that they have to cut positions to make up for a budget shortfall (people not selling their houses really screws with states that use sales tax as the primary revenue source). I am one of the ones most likely to be riffed and I really can't imagine how to find another job because the last 3 jobs I've had were with the state with significant gaps between each job. Oh, and waiting for Musk to screw up my other source of income, Social Security. March truly has been a long month already.
posted by drossdragon at 9:50 AM on March 18 [3 favorites]
posted by drossdragon at 9:50 AM on March 18 [3 favorites]
don't get me started on daylight savings time!!! we literally CHANGE TIME to suit our behaviors rather than change our behaviors to suit time. it's so stupid and causes all sorts of trouble. personally, I think people should just work less in the winter, school days should be shorter. so everyone can sleep more and snuggle at home doing indoor winter stuff with friends and family. a mini-hibernation.
posted by supermedusa at 9:52 AM on March 18 [7 favorites]
posted by supermedusa at 9:52 AM on March 18 [7 favorites]
I do taxes with AARP on Saturdays, but the library does not open their doors until 9 am. Our first appointment is at 9:30 so we have time to set up. There is almost always at least one person there outside, pacing around at the doors when the librarians are unlocking them to let us in. Then they follow us to our room and stare at us while we set up. We have a lot to set up to get ready to help them, so I find it pretty rude most of the time.
posted by soelo at 9:53 AM on March 18 [2 favorites]
posted by soelo at 9:53 AM on March 18 [2 favorites]
I try to err on the side of being early to things because I worry about being late! Even when the circumstances that are out of my control make me late, I legit panic. I am currently in the process of getting a half-sleeve and the tattooist I chose is in Toronto, so I have to catch the VIA rail from Kingston to Toronto, and quite often the train is late. It stresses me out deeply but when you've caught the earliest train you can, *shrugs*
posted by Kitteh at 9:55 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
posted by Kitteh at 9:55 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
Um, how do you run the heat and AC at the same time? My car only does one or the other.
Oh, my car's got an "AC" on/off button and a separate temp knob. Does your car's AC have its own temp setting? If so, try turning that as high as it will go. I think blowing dry air at the windshield is more important than the temperature of the air.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:56 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
Oh, my car's got an "AC" on/off button and a separate temp knob. Does your car's AC have its own temp setting? If so, try turning that as high as it will go. I think blowing dry air at the windshield is more important than the temperature of the air.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:56 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
jenfullmoon are you running the defroster? that's what it's for. I put my heat/ac on defrost setting, set the temp dial to hot and turn it up. the blasters clear the fog from the inside window, but yeah it can take a few minutes.
posted by supermedusa at 9:59 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
posted by supermedusa at 9:59 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
You can also make sure you are pulling in air from outside rather than recirculating inside air. The air outside is probably drier. The button is usually an outline of a vehicle with an arrow inside of it. You want that setting off at least until the air inside is warm enough to stop the fogging. I think of AC in a car as a dehumidifier rather than a cooling setting. We drive Chevys and they all have temperature settings separate from the A/C button.
posted by soelo at 10:03 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
posted by soelo at 10:03 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
> others could be rudely early
My wife's solution to this (as it is with other family members) is to give them a job.
"Oh, great... since you're here, could you peel those potatoes?"
People seldom seem to do it twice.
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 10:33 AM on March 18 [3 favorites]
My wife's solution to this (as it is with other family members) is to give them a job.
"Oh, great... since you're here, could you peel those potatoes?"
People seldom seem to do it twice.
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 10:33 AM on March 18 [3 favorites]
Anytime a person uses language that assumes a dominant culture and sub-cultures, I think it's useful to pause on that assumption
What I meant by (sub)culture was, whether I'm dealing with people from another culture, like an immigrant community, or people from a different strain of white middle-class culture: a subculture within my own culture. I'm not saying that any of these are lesser and mine is or should be dominant.
posted by outgrown_hobnail at 10:54 AM on March 18
What I meant by (sub)culture was, whether I'm dealing with people from another culture, like an immigrant community, or people from a different strain of white middle-class culture: a subculture within my own culture. I'm not saying that any of these are lesser and mine is or should be dominant.
posted by outgrown_hobnail at 10:54 AM on March 18
IMO none of the defroster buttons do that much until the car is warmed up. I generally wipe the inside stuff off with my arm if I have to leave quickly. Or keep some rags or napkins.
My wife is one of those people who has no concept of distance and time, but also plans to be on-time. So I have to get the distance ahead of time if being on time is important. She'll also ask how far away giant cities/suburbs are. You mean the edge or the actual destination? it's always different. She's also one of those people who give travel distance in time, even though she grew up in LA which has wildly different travel times based on traffic.
posted by The_Vegetables at 11:13 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
My wife is one of those people who has no concept of distance and time, but also plans to be on-time. So I have to get the distance ahead of time if being on time is important. She'll also ask how far away giant cities/suburbs are. You mean the edge or the actual destination? it's always different. She's also one of those people who give travel distance in time, even though she grew up in LA which has wildly different travel times based on traffic.
posted by The_Vegetables at 11:13 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
I hate being late because my father was late for everything that ever happened except his own death. I spent so much of my youth freezing my tits off outside an airport or a library or the school or what have you, waiting an hour and a half extra for him to arrive. And when he did show up he never really had an excuse, he just chose to do other things instead of go to the place at the time.
Part of it was definitely a kind of time blindness but I do think part of it was just that somewhere in his bones he simply Would Prefer Not To do most things. He resented his job, he loved his little routines, and he just couldn't brook any interruptions to them. He was also the least anxious person I've ever known -- I don't think he fully understood how an anxious little kid feels standing on a sidewalk in the winter dark wondering, Jesus what the hell am I gonna do if he never shows? Or what is the teacher going to do when I'm tardy again? or Oh my god I'm so embarrassed, all these librarians want to go home but this 9 year old is stuck here.
He was a good dad in a lot of ways, but oh my goodness, the deep deep fears I have about time because of him!
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 11:28 AM on March 18 [3 favorites]
Part of it was definitely a kind of time blindness but I do think part of it was just that somewhere in his bones he simply Would Prefer Not To do most things. He resented his job, he loved his little routines, and he just couldn't brook any interruptions to them. He was also the least anxious person I've ever known -- I don't think he fully understood how an anxious little kid feels standing on a sidewalk in the winter dark wondering, Jesus what the hell am I gonna do if he never shows? Or what is the teacher going to do when I'm tardy again? or Oh my god I'm so embarrassed, all these librarians want to go home but this 9 year old is stuck here.
He was a good dad in a lot of ways, but oh my goodness, the deep deep fears I have about time because of him!
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 11:28 AM on March 18 [3 favorites]
Since moving to the PNW i have found that people have a really weird sense of time. In the southeast and Mid-Atlantic its just understood, at least in my milieu (kinda artsy bohemian laid back) that everyone is 20 - 30 minutes late to a party and they sort of dribble in. Unless its specifically a seated dinner party which, it mostly isn't. It's mostly drinks and nibbles. Here? They show up en masse exactly on time. It's so weird! I have now been "late" to several parties and I feel bad but also confused.
That said, for work stuff and appointments I'm on time except for actually getting to the office on time. That is apparently about impossible for me. I am a chaos magnet of unusual strength! And so is my entire family and we also all have ADHD and, well, punctuality is just not our strength.
posted by mygothlaundry at 11:38 AM on March 18
That said, for work stuff and appointments I'm on time except for actually getting to the office on time. That is apparently about impossible for me. I am a chaos magnet of unusual strength! And so is my entire family and we also all have ADHD and, well, punctuality is just not our strength.
posted by mygothlaundry at 11:38 AM on March 18
I believe I have a curse when it comes to plays and musicals. I aim to be there 25 minutes before the curtain. Either I am there 45 minutes early and can't even get in the door yet or 7 minutes before curtain and sprinting to my seat. I don't want to buy a drink and stand around because that ensures that I'll need to use the bathroom at intermission, rather it being optional. Twice in the last month there was so much parking traffic that I didn't even get into the building until curtain time. Luckily both were still seating people, but I was prepared to be turned away.
posted by soelo at 11:51 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
posted by soelo at 11:51 AM on March 18 [1 favorite]
I've been spoken to by my supervisor for clocking in too early. I am compulsively punctual/early, especially if I'm going somewhere new/unfamiliar. I've been home sick from work for the past three days. I'm now on the mend, but Mrs. LDS has caught it. So it goes. I think we're having an informal competition to see who has the shortest recovery time. I predict she'll be the winner based on previous colds.
Made my first FPP the other day after decades on the site (first as a non member lurker, then as member but non FPP poster) and it went over OK. Now that I've "torn off the band-aid" that will likely mean some future FPPs from me although it's definitely a tough crowd here.
Re: car defrost mode, most cars built since the 90s will automatically engage the A/C compressor when in front defrost mode, although they will not indicate to the user that AC is on. (You can verify by putting the car in defrost mode, looking the the center of the A/C compressor clutch under the hood, if it's periodically spinning [it will cycle on and off] while the engine is running, there's your answer. Note that this technique will not work for some hybrids and all full EVs)
posted by Larry David Syndrome at 12:18 PM on March 18 [2 favorites]
Made my first FPP the other day after decades on the site (first as a non member lurker, then as member but non FPP poster) and it went over OK. Now that I've "torn off the band-aid" that will likely mean some future FPPs from me although it's definitely a tough crowd here.
Re: car defrost mode, most cars built since the 90s will automatically engage the A/C compressor when in front defrost mode, although they will not indicate to the user that AC is on. (You can verify by putting the car in defrost mode, looking the the center of the A/C compressor clutch under the hood, if it's periodically spinning [it will cycle on and off] while the engine is running, there's your answer. Note that this technique will not work for some hybrids and all full EVs)
posted by Larry David Syndrome at 12:18 PM on March 18 [2 favorites]
This is an "in other news" whinge -
So the new faucet my super installed yesterday sprung a big leak under the kitchen sink. It should be an easy fix - it looks like a pipe just popped out of its housing - but I didn't discover the problem in time to stop myself from turning the faucet on and off several times wondering "why isn't there water coming out?" Only when I felt a puddle dripping onto my feet did I realize "oh."
The super will be here to fix it soon, and fortunately most things were unscathed. They're all drying out in the middle of the floor right now.
Yay adventures in housekeeping.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:30 PM on March 18 [2 favorites]
So the new faucet my super installed yesterday sprung a big leak under the kitchen sink. It should be an easy fix - it looks like a pipe just popped out of its housing - but I didn't discover the problem in time to stop myself from turning the faucet on and off several times wondering "why isn't there water coming out?" Only when I felt a puddle dripping onto my feet did I realize "oh."
The super will be here to fix it soon, and fortunately most things were unscathed. They're all drying out in the middle of the floor right now.
Yay adventures in housekeeping.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:30 PM on March 18 [2 favorites]
If a pipe popped out of its housing to the point that nothing came out when you turned on the faucet, turning on the faucet did absolutely nothing to worsen the leak.
posted by jamjam at 1:18 PM on March 18
posted by jamjam at 1:18 PM on March 18
I once turned up precisely a year late for a wedding.
I didn't know the couple getting married - Kevin and Nikki - very well and didn't keep in contact with them much. Or hardly ever. Their wedding invite was attached to my fridge door for a long time. Crucially, the date on it stated only the time and day and month, not the year.
Davina, my partner of the time, and I rolled up. Went inside the church. A wedding was taking place. I didn't recognise anyone but, again, I didn't know the couple well, nor hardly any of their friends, so no big surprise. No-one directed us to which side of the aisle to sit, so we chose the least crowded. But still far from the front to see the groom clearly, though I did think from a distance that Kevin appeared to have had a drastic hair transplant.
Ceremony took place. Standard music and stuff, though the flamenco tune was a bit of a surprise. The usual "bride walks down the aisle" happened, though there were jaunty trumpets. Hmmm. That's not Nikki. Odd. The groom sees her. I take a closer look at the groom and realise it's not Kevin.
Which is when I realised the odd vibes were valid and something was very wrong. I pulled the invite out of my pocket and discreetly checked it. Location: right. Date: right. Time: right. Confused. I handed it to my partner. She read it, several times. Thought a bit. Whispered to me: "How long has this been on your fridge door, because I can remember it being there last year?".
I thought. Unfortunately, at the point when the music stopped, muttered "Oh fuck" perhaps a little too loudly. A few heads looked round at us. Then looked again in a "who the hell are you?" manner. The wedding continued. Davina whispered "I am dating a fucking idiot" to me. I conceded the point.
We decided to stay through the ceremony and not disrupt it further, then make an apologetic goodbye. Outside, I caught the groom, now husband (Pablo, not Kevin) who looked at me quizzically. I showed him the invite and explained. He went off to the bride, now his wife (Sophia, not Nikki). She couldn't stop laughing. Then he started laughing. Then they insisted we take part in their wedding pictures. Then insisted we go to the reception and, well, why not. So we did, and were pointed out to everyone in both their speeches. tbh, with the tapas and the pinata and the games and the dancing and the other food and seeing the dawn rise from a boat in the midde of the hotel lake, it was the best wedding I've ever attended.
Davina and I aren't together any more. However, when Sophia and Pablo hold an anniversary event and invite a bunch of people, we sometimes both go and meet up there. We'll be there again in a couple of weeks time, and will see them and relatives and various other people who I'm now in touch with over social media.
I lost contact with Kevin and Nikki years ago, now. I think they were annoyed at us being no-shows.
The moral or takeaway? I don't think there is one. Perhaps; if you are with unfamiliar people by accident, stick around a while because something might work out? Or, tapas is the best choice at wedding receptions?
Anyway. Olé!
posted by Wordshore at 2:26 PM on March 18 [101 favorites]
I didn't know the couple getting married - Kevin and Nikki - very well and didn't keep in contact with them much. Or hardly ever. Their wedding invite was attached to my fridge door for a long time. Crucially, the date on it stated only the time and day and month, not the year.
Davina, my partner of the time, and I rolled up. Went inside the church. A wedding was taking place. I didn't recognise anyone but, again, I didn't know the couple well, nor hardly any of their friends, so no big surprise. No-one directed us to which side of the aisle to sit, so we chose the least crowded. But still far from the front to see the groom clearly, though I did think from a distance that Kevin appeared to have had a drastic hair transplant.
Ceremony took place. Standard music and stuff, though the flamenco tune was a bit of a surprise. The usual "bride walks down the aisle" happened, though there were jaunty trumpets. Hmmm. That's not Nikki. Odd. The groom sees her. I take a closer look at the groom and realise it's not Kevin.
Which is when I realised the odd vibes were valid and something was very wrong. I pulled the invite out of my pocket and discreetly checked it. Location: right. Date: right. Time: right. Confused. I handed it to my partner. She read it, several times. Thought a bit. Whispered to me: "How long has this been on your fridge door, because I can remember it being there last year?".
I thought. Unfortunately, at the point when the music stopped, muttered "Oh fuck" perhaps a little too loudly. A few heads looked round at us. Then looked again in a "who the hell are you?" manner. The wedding continued. Davina whispered "I am dating a fucking idiot" to me. I conceded the point.
We decided to stay through the ceremony and not disrupt it further, then make an apologetic goodbye. Outside, I caught the groom, now husband (Pablo, not Kevin) who looked at me quizzically. I showed him the invite and explained. He went off to the bride, now his wife (Sophia, not Nikki). She couldn't stop laughing. Then he started laughing. Then they insisted we take part in their wedding pictures. Then insisted we go to the reception and, well, why not. So we did, and were pointed out to everyone in both their speeches. tbh, with the tapas and the pinata and the games and the dancing and the other food and seeing the dawn rise from a boat in the midde of the hotel lake, it was the best wedding I've ever attended.
Davina and I aren't together any more. However, when Sophia and Pablo hold an anniversary event and invite a bunch of people, we sometimes both go and meet up there. We'll be there again in a couple of weeks time, and will see them and relatives and various other people who I'm now in touch with over social media.
I lost contact with Kevin and Nikki years ago, now. I think they were annoyed at us being no-shows.
The moral or takeaway? I don't think there is one. Perhaps; if you are with unfamiliar people by accident, stick around a while because something might work out? Or, tapas is the best choice at wedding receptions?
Anyway. Olé!
posted by Wordshore at 2:26 PM on March 18 [101 favorites]
This is a delightful story and you need to tell it at storytelling events, or everywhere.
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:37 PM on March 18 [7 favorites]
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:37 PM on March 18 [7 favorites]
now this. this is a Wedding Crashers story.
posted by ginger.beef at 2:41 PM on March 18 [3 favorites]
posted by ginger.beef at 2:41 PM on March 18 [3 favorites]
That’s not a wedding crash. It’s a wedding controlled flight into terrain.
posted by notoriety public at 2:53 PM on March 18 [11 favorites]
posted by notoriety public at 2:53 PM on March 18 [11 favorites]
If a pipe popped out of its housing to the point that nothing came out when you turned on the faucet, turning on the faucet did absolutely nothing to worsen the leak.
Uh, it certainly looks like that's what happened - the water that was being pumped up was shooting out of a pipe instead of out of the faucet head, and my super literally just plugged the pipe back into where it was supposed to go and water started coming out of the faucet again when it turned on. That sure looks like "a pipe popped out of its housing to the point that nothing came out" and my turning the faucet on caused water to leak out under the sink.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:19 PM on March 18 [1 favorite]
Uh, it certainly looks like that's what happened - the water that was being pumped up was shooting out of a pipe instead of out of the faucet head, and my super literally just plugged the pipe back into where it was supposed to go and water started coming out of the faucet again when it turned on. That sure looks like "a pipe popped out of its housing to the point that nothing came out" and my turning the faucet on caused water to leak out under the sink.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:19 PM on March 18 [1 favorite]
Growing up at home we had lunch at 1300hrs. That's 1 o'clock +/- 2 minutes. It was a hangover from the institutional regime in which my father had bedded down during 35 years at sea in uniform. He wouldn't have a fit if lunch was late but, even long after retirement, he'd drift, watchless, in from the garden on the ding! of One, asking if lunch was ready. And he was never, ever late for an appointment.
The Da died in Jan 2001 in the fullness of his years. A few weeks later, still in the grip of Winter, we had a small memorial service in the village where he'd lived for his final 25 years. His ashes, in a neat wooden mini-coffin were to be interred just outside the door of the medieval village church.
It was Sunday. The immediate family and the neighbours gathered for the memorial service at 11 o'clock. The organist was playing the introit when it dawned on us that there was no casket. My mother had assumed the vicar would have seen to that, the vicar was sure that was the family's business and the undertaker was 20 miles away. My brother slipped out of the church and phoned the undertaker, the organist continued playing. The Brother and the undertaker agreed to meet half way at a pub car-park and he sped off in his car. The organist continued playing until she'd absolutely run through her repertoire, then the vicar started the service off speaking v e r y s l o w l y and we carried on as if everything was on schedule. The service eventually finished and the casket made !shazzam! a simultaneous appearance as if that had been planned all along. The Da was not without a sense of humour and would have been tickled at the irony of being late for his own funeral.
posted by BobTheScientist at 3:23 PM on March 18 [15 favorites]
The Da died in Jan 2001 in the fullness of his years. A few weeks later, still in the grip of Winter, we had a small memorial service in the village where he'd lived for his final 25 years. His ashes, in a neat wooden mini-coffin were to be interred just outside the door of the medieval village church.
It was Sunday. The immediate family and the neighbours gathered for the memorial service at 11 o'clock. The organist was playing the introit when it dawned on us that there was no casket. My mother had assumed the vicar would have seen to that, the vicar was sure that was the family's business and the undertaker was 20 miles away. My brother slipped out of the church and phoned the undertaker, the organist continued playing. The Brother and the undertaker agreed to meet half way at a pub car-park and he sped off in his car. The organist continued playing until she'd absolutely run through her repertoire, then the vicar started the service off speaking v e r y s l o w l y and we carried on as if everything was on schedule. The service eventually finished and the casket made !shazzam! a simultaneous appearance as if that had been planned all along. The Da was not without a sense of humour and would have been tickled at the irony of being late for his own funeral.
posted by BobTheScientist at 3:23 PM on March 18 [15 favorites]
my super literally just plugged the pipe back into where it was supposed to go
More permanently this time, let's hope!
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:01 PM on March 18 [1 favorite]
More permanently this time, let's hope!
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:01 PM on March 18 [1 favorite]
Heh; it was his assistant who actually did that part of the job last time, and I heard my super do a little under-the-breath muttering about him as he was hooking things back up. Took him five minutes tops.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:05 PM on March 18 [1 favorite]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:05 PM on March 18 [1 favorite]
I hate being late, so I err on the side of being early and I’m more than happy to help set up or peel potatoes or do something to help the host because I am awkward at small talk and helping the host means that I can just not talk to people for a few minutes.
We purchased a bag of Edward Marc Chocolatier Girl Scouts Thin Mints Bites from Costco and they are truly dangerous.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 4:15 PM on March 18
We purchased a bag of Edward Marc Chocolatier Girl Scouts Thin Mints Bites from Costco and they are truly dangerous.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 4:15 PM on March 18
I have worked for airlines and at courts, so although I do not consider timeliness a moral virtue, I do think it is wise. Planes and court dates often run late and waste your time, but they will always leave without you if you're running late.
I am not going to give people a hard time about being late, but I do take people's tendencies towards lateness into account when deciding what kinds of plans to make with them.
Count me in as someone who generally doesn't mind waiting though.
posted by the primroses were over at 5:19 PM on March 18 [1 favorite]
I am not going to give people a hard time about being late, but I do take people's tendencies towards lateness into account when deciding what kinds of plans to make with them.
Count me in as someone who generally doesn't mind waiting though.
posted by the primroses were over at 5:19 PM on March 18 [1 favorite]
I cannot be on time to save my life. For anything. It's because, I think, anything more than 15 minutes into the future lives in a nebulous cloud of "there's plenty of time left" until there isn't.
When I do make an effort to be on time, the gods conspire against me (as an atheist you can imagine how vexing this is), and those are the times that trees will have fallen across the road, none of the vehicles will start, everyone decides today at this hour is when they want to use the ferry and the line is four boats long, etc.
posted by maxwelton at 7:24 PM on March 18 [1 favorite]
When I do make an effort to be on time, the gods conspire against me (as an atheist you can imagine how vexing this is), and those are the times that trees will have fallen across the road, none of the vehicles will start, everyone decides today at this hour is when they want to use the ferry and the line is four boats long, etc.
posted by maxwelton at 7:24 PM on March 18 [1 favorite]
just had a vendor ask to arrive an hour early for a demo set-up.
set-up is HDMI connection and using our wi-fi!
I told them Casablanca style that I'd meet them 30 minutes early.
posted by calgirl at 9:58 PM on March 18
set-up is HDMI connection and using our wi-fi!
I told them Casablanca style that I'd meet them 30 minutes early.
posted by calgirl at 9:58 PM on March 18
LinkFilter: Legendary comedian Lenny 'go crazy lenny' Schultz passed at ~91 yesterday or so. Chickens and bananas inconsolable. Anybody wanna put an FPP together?
posted by zaixfeep at 5:08 AM on March 19
posted by zaixfeep at 5:08 AM on March 19
Back to timeliness!
I did have an unfortunate lateness phase for a couple years - which is BAAAAAAAAD if you're a stage manager. I started out mostly working with a theater that was a five block walk away, and got a little too used to that; when I started taking on gigs at further-flung areas I would underestimate the subway commutes. Finally one director told me on no uncertain terms that he was Very Displeased with me - in front of the cast - and I really committed to sorting that shit out. And fortunately it worked - to the point that now I'm often the first person anywhere. I often don't mind that though - something I discovered when I started showing up first at a theater was "hang on, no one else is here to interrupt me or get in my way so I can actually get a whole lot of shit done. SWEET!"
Even better, that's also bled over into my 9-5 timeliness, and I'm usually at an office job early as well.
I tone things down for social stuff - if it's a meetup group or something that has a set start time, I do try to make it a few minutes before the start time just in case (especially if I don't trust the subways that day, or if it's a location I'm not familiar with). I do tend to be one of the first people to arrive for a house party as well; but I try not to be on-the-dot or early. There's a Parisian food blogger I love who once mentioned the concept of "le quart d'heure de politesse" - an unspoken rule in France that you show up at a dinner party about fifteen minutes late on purpose, to give your host a grace period to catch up if they're running behind and still have a couple minutes to sit down and catch their breath before guests show up. It seems a nice thing to do, so I try not to show up bang on the dot or early. And if I do somehow show up a little too early I roll up my sleeves and offer to help.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:44 AM on March 19 [2 favorites]
I did have an unfortunate lateness phase for a couple years - which is BAAAAAAAAD if you're a stage manager. I started out mostly working with a theater that was a five block walk away, and got a little too used to that; when I started taking on gigs at further-flung areas I would underestimate the subway commutes. Finally one director told me on no uncertain terms that he was Very Displeased with me - in front of the cast - and I really committed to sorting that shit out. And fortunately it worked - to the point that now I'm often the first person anywhere. I often don't mind that though - something I discovered when I started showing up first at a theater was "hang on, no one else is here to interrupt me or get in my way so I can actually get a whole lot of shit done. SWEET!"
Even better, that's also bled over into my 9-5 timeliness, and I'm usually at an office job early as well.
I tone things down for social stuff - if it's a meetup group or something that has a set start time, I do try to make it a few minutes before the start time just in case (especially if I don't trust the subways that day, or if it's a location I'm not familiar with). I do tend to be one of the first people to arrive for a house party as well; but I try not to be on-the-dot or early. There's a Parisian food blogger I love who once mentioned the concept of "le quart d'heure de politesse" - an unspoken rule in France that you show up at a dinner party about fifteen minutes late on purpose, to give your host a grace period to catch up if they're running behind and still have a couple minutes to sit down and catch their breath before guests show up. It seems a nice thing to do, so I try not to show up bang on the dot or early. And if I do somehow show up a little too early I roll up my sleeves and offer to help.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:44 AM on March 19 [2 favorites]
I am that guy that frets about being 1 minute late.
You must haaaaaaate this place.
posted by Diskeater at 5:48 AM on March 19 [4 favorites]
You must haaaaaaate this place.
posted by Diskeater at 5:48 AM on March 19 [4 favorites]
Just gave notice at my VA contractor job, which is marked for death under the regime. At the end of the month, I'll shape my old course in a country new.
posted by Lemkin at 6:23 AM on March 19
posted by Lemkin at 6:23 AM on March 19
After nearly a year of unemployment (my own fault for rage quitting), I am ridiculously pleased to say that I am starting a new job next month. I'll be working in advocacy for a health group focused on the LGBTQIA+ community.
Masters program still going well, having slight panics over starting a new job and keeping up with quality work but I will persevere!
posted by cooker girl at 6:29 AM on March 19 [6 favorites]
Masters program still going well, having slight panics over starting a new job and keeping up with quality work but I will persevere!
posted by cooker girl at 6:29 AM on March 19 [6 favorites]
I’ve continued my journey into Art Stuff, and am taking a beginning watercolor class. Holy crap is the instructor bad, at least for me. Many of us are rank beginners at this, and he has not demonstrated *anything* for the 12 weeks of class. (3 hours, once a week). So his assignments have been prompts for me to go to YouTube to figure out how to actually do this thing. I’ve learned a lot that way and have gotten better, but this stuff is hard.
In other news, I got a call from a dear friend yesterday afternoon - please come over, husband died in his sleep last night, I just found him an hour ago and I need you. They live close by, and I dropped everything to be with her, so she’s not alone the first couple days. He had a really, really bad cold. All I can say is: if you have sleep apnea, get a cpap, if you feel like crap, go to the doctor, stat, and for your spouse/family’s sake - have a will made out, and kept in a place spouse can find it.
Also, passwords for important stuff (like your phone) - share that stuff in an obvious, but secure way.
posted by dbmcd at 9:26 AM on March 19 [1 favorite]
In other news, I got a call from a dear friend yesterday afternoon - please come over, husband died in his sleep last night, I just found him an hour ago and I need you. They live close by, and I dropped everything to be with her, so she’s not alone the first couple days. He had a really, really bad cold. All I can say is: if you have sleep apnea, get a cpap, if you feel like crap, go to the doctor, stat, and for your spouse/family’s sake - have a will made out, and kept in a place spouse can find it.
Also, passwords for important stuff (like your phone) - share that stuff in an obvious, but secure way.
posted by dbmcd at 9:26 AM on March 19 [1 favorite]
Just seen this quiz linked from Smart Bitches, Trashy Books. It's apparently from the School of Computing at Edinburgh Napier, researching whether people can tell the difference between AI-generated and human-written texts. Those with a good knowledge of Agatha Christie's writing may have an advantage. I'd have put this into a LinkMe thread, but don't think we have a recent one.
posted by paduasoy at 12:46 PM on March 19 [1 favorite]
posted by paduasoy at 12:46 PM on March 19 [1 favorite]
I got 15/20, not sure if that's good or bad.
posted by TheophileEscargot at 1:17 PM on March 19
posted by TheophileEscargot at 1:17 PM on March 19
16/20 and I don't know either if it's better or worse.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 1:44 PM on March 19
posted by a humble nudibranch at 1:44 PM on March 19
17/20
I think it would have been easier and/or clearer if the types of prose used extended a bit beyond murder mysteries and if the original formatting / line breaks of the texts were preserved.
but it's interesting. I did OK but I'm not sure why, most choices felt like it they were based mainly on gut instinct, which isn't going to help fend off our new robot novelist overlords
posted by chavenet at 2:42 AM on March 20 [1 favorite]
I think it would have been easier and/or clearer if the types of prose used extended a bit beyond murder mysteries and if the original formatting / line breaks of the texts were preserved.
but it's interesting. I did OK but I'm not sure why, most choices felt like it they were based mainly on gut instinct, which isn't going to help fend off our new robot novelist overlords
posted by chavenet at 2:42 AM on March 20 [1 favorite]
I started my car this morning to head into work and heard a bang. Error message pops up. Turn off car, get flaslight and open hood to discover the lovely surprise that rats have chewed through part of the ignition wires and who knows what else.
I'll be so late to work that it'll probably be tomorrow at the earliest. Now I'm waiting until a repair shop opens to see about getting it in for work. Le sigh.
This has been a net negative year so far; adding this to the list.
posted by mightshould at 2:49 AM on March 20 [1 favorite]
I'll be so late to work that it'll probably be tomorrow at the earliest. Now I'm waiting until a repair shop opens to see about getting it in for work. Le sigh.
This has been a net negative year so far; adding this to the list.
posted by mightshould at 2:49 AM on March 20 [1 favorite]
Thanks for the great story Wordshore, it got a few flags for being a fantastic comment, so we added it the sidebar and Best Of blog!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:11 AM on March 20 [2 favorites]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:11 AM on March 20 [2 favorites]
Not as funny as Wordshore's story, of course, but I once had somebody show up to a New Year's party that I had hosted a year before a year later.
It was 3 am and I was already asleep.
He seemed confused and a little put out by their not being a party, since he'd made plans to meet people at it.
I shut the door.
posted by signal at 5:25 AM on March 20 [2 favorites]
It was 3 am and I was already asleep.
He seemed confused and a little put out by their not being a party, since he'd made plans to meet people at it.
I shut the door.
posted by signal at 5:25 AM on March 20 [2 favorites]
So the job hunt took a downswing again - I had two amazing interviews with one place for a temp gig, but in the end they went with someone with slightly more experience. I've also had two first-round interviews at two other places - one is my slight preference, and I'm reaching out today to gently nudge HR and ask the status.
Right now my strongest prospect is a part-time thing only 6 blocks walk from home. I've REALLY been on the fence about them, because a) it's only part time and the pay is a big step down from what I'd been making, and I'd have to take on a couple shifts at a Starbucks or something before long, but b) six blocks walk from home, and it's better than absolutely nothing.
I've been going over my budget again and again trying to figure out how big a hit this would be, and kept coming up against "even if I cut things down to the bone I'd still be in the red more than I like". My third interview with them is today and I was dreading this, thinking "should I even bother if this isn't going to be right for me financially, but it's still better than nothing".
Then I took one last look at my budget calculations and noticed - I goofed.
I paid off all my credit card debt 4 years ago, and then converted about five or six regular things - cell phone, Netflix, a couple othter things like that - to an auto-charge to my credit card basis, and I pay the bills off in full and otherwise don't use the credit cards at all. And on my budget, I list each of these expenses - but I also list the credit card payments as their own additional item on my budget. So I was basically budgetting those charges TWICE. I fixed that on my budget calculations and it's much better (I'd still have to cut some things way back and I'm still a bit in the red, but nowhere near as much).
....So, okay, I'm a bit of an idiot sometimes. Still hoping to find something full-time, or come up with some home-based side hustle, but things feel less dire.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:33 AM on March 20 [8 favorites]
Right now my strongest prospect is a part-time thing only 6 blocks walk from home. I've REALLY been on the fence about them, because a) it's only part time and the pay is a big step down from what I'd been making, and I'd have to take on a couple shifts at a Starbucks or something before long, but b) six blocks walk from home, and it's better than absolutely nothing.
I've been going over my budget again and again trying to figure out how big a hit this would be, and kept coming up against "even if I cut things down to the bone I'd still be in the red more than I like". My third interview with them is today and I was dreading this, thinking "should I even bother if this isn't going to be right for me financially, but it's still better than nothing".
Then I took one last look at my budget calculations and noticed - I goofed.
I paid off all my credit card debt 4 years ago, and then converted about five or six regular things - cell phone, Netflix, a couple othter things like that - to an auto-charge to my credit card basis, and I pay the bills off in full and otherwise don't use the credit cards at all. And on my budget, I list each of these expenses - but I also list the credit card payments as their own additional item on my budget. So I was basically budgetting those charges TWICE. I fixed that on my budget calculations and it's much better (I'd still have to cut some things way back and I'm still a bit in the red, but nowhere near as much).
....So, okay, I'm a bit of an idiot sometimes. Still hoping to find something full-time, or come up with some home-based side hustle, but things feel less dire.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:33 AM on March 20 [8 favorites]
I'm a perpetually early person. I've been working on showing up to work closer to 8:15, my actual start time. I was giving my boss an extra 15 minutes everyday. I was doing it before because I was teaching by myself so I needed the extra time to get things set up. Now I have a coteacher who does some of those things. It's hard though.
posted by kathrynm at 9:29 AM on March 22 [1 favorite]
posted by kathrynm at 9:29 AM on March 22 [1 favorite]
I have not had a happy freethread week, sorry about that...
Last Sunday, after putting the dogs out, heading into the bathroom to take all the meds I am taking, ugh. Ready to take a bath, keep reading the game rules I am reading, and going to bed. Phone tells me to take my drugs at 945. Took my melatonin first, let the dogs out, went to take my real drugs.
Spouse was taking our son to the airport.
And that's all I can remember. Don't remember falling. Don't remember my spouse coming home and talking with her, she says I did respond. I only started remembering when the paramedic folks showed up. So it's probably 1130 at this point, and they want me to go to the ER, as I am on a very small dose of bloodthinners, and I might have a "brain bleed". Said no, didn't feel like I was having something serious, and it was already way past my bedtime, ER is going to be 5 hours easy. And I did not know that there is a non-Swedish ER, as our insurance just dumped them, or vice-versa. Caused a lot of grief in our family...
But, my therapist made it clear that I needed to do this. So got a brain scan on Friday. I was right, I don't have a brain bleed. I have some left lobe damage, but it looks old, which makes sense as both of my large head injuries have been where it says.
But we get to result 3. Which suggests I have had lacunar infarcts (minor strokes deep in the brain) "versus" (a weird word to see in a test result), of something that seems not nearly as scary. Used to be considered no big deal, but, science "KEEP MOVING FORWARD!"
And then to result 4.
Something not great in my cerebral white matter. Suggests "chronic microvascular disease".
There is a disease called "White Matter Disease". Neither of those look like good things.
And only got my test results on Friday, and my PCP didn't respond during business hours. So a long weekend of googling all the words in the lab report, and waiting for a response.
OTOH, none of these things seem treatable directly, so, whatever. All these aging brain failure diseases just are so terrible.
posted by Windopaene at 1:13 PM on March 22 [4 favorites]
Last Sunday, after putting the dogs out, heading into the bathroom to take all the meds I am taking, ugh. Ready to take a bath, keep reading the game rules I am reading, and going to bed. Phone tells me to take my drugs at 945. Took my melatonin first, let the dogs out, went to take my real drugs.
Spouse was taking our son to the airport.
And that's all I can remember. Don't remember falling. Don't remember my spouse coming home and talking with her, she says I did respond. I only started remembering when the paramedic folks showed up. So it's probably 1130 at this point, and they want me to go to the ER, as I am on a very small dose of bloodthinners, and I might have a "brain bleed". Said no, didn't feel like I was having something serious, and it was already way past my bedtime, ER is going to be 5 hours easy. And I did not know that there is a non-Swedish ER, as our insurance just dumped them, or vice-versa. Caused a lot of grief in our family...
But, my therapist made it clear that I needed to do this. So got a brain scan on Friday. I was right, I don't have a brain bleed. I have some left lobe damage, but it looks old, which makes sense as both of my large head injuries have been where it says.
But we get to result 3. Which suggests I have had lacunar infarcts (minor strokes deep in the brain) "versus" (a weird word to see in a test result), of something that seems not nearly as scary. Used to be considered no big deal, but, science "KEEP MOVING FORWARD!"
And then to result 4.
Something not great in my cerebral white matter. Suggests "chronic microvascular disease".
There is a disease called "White Matter Disease". Neither of those look like good things.
And only got my test results on Friday, and my PCP didn't respond during business hours. So a long weekend of googling all the words in the lab report, and waiting for a response.
OTOH, none of these things seem treatable directly, so, whatever. All these aging brain failure diseases just are so terrible.
posted by Windopaene at 1:13 PM on March 22 [4 favorites]
Also: Goat bleats are more interesting, but also rather disturbing. Weirdo creatures..
Sheep bleats are just more benign.
posted by Windopaene at 1:24 PM on March 22 [1 favorite]
Sheep bleats are just more benign.
posted by Windopaene at 1:24 PM on March 22 [1 favorite]
I am so sorry for your awful week, Windopaene.
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 7:35 AM on March 23 [3 favorites]
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 7:35 AM on March 23 [3 favorites]
That sounds rough, Windopaene even digesting that body of opaque information let alone the brute reality behind it. May you be well. May this be no more than a wrinkle in the matrix.
posted by dutchrick at 4:30 AM on March 24 [1 favorite]
posted by dutchrick at 4:30 AM on March 24 [1 favorite]
Getting old is not for the faint of heart. I look at our kids and marvel at how oblivious they are - they can just, like, jump around, drink and dance all night, do deep knee-bends. Eat a Döner after 10pm and sleep through the night. Hell, sleep through the night. Few things will so thoroughly fuck you up as time.
At yet some days you step into a - not just a lacunae it's like a pond. So at a dinner with some friends on the weekend we were outside, and it was too cold, really, but we were all dressed warmly enough and no one wanted to go it, there was a brief comment about grilling/bar-b-q-ing in the winter and how it has its charms. Which reminded me of being a kid and going to a/the sugar shack in late March and having boiled-down maple-syrup that's been poured on a bed of snow that you then wind up on a stick. Between getting the anecdote over the bridge into German and just the brute physical distance from that place - and then time, of course - I probably didn't really get it across at all (like here: but it's a mix of darkness, cold, sweetness, the mysteries of grown-up behaviors drunken and not, the ride home in the back of the car. Getting your suceur stuck to your coat when you fall asleep and drop it. And the flavor of the thing. Well,
*open your hands, shrug lightly*
(have a great week, whatever it takes)
posted by From Bklyn at 6:08 AM on March 26
At yet some days you step into a - not just a lacunae it's like a pond. So at a dinner with some friends on the weekend we were outside, and it was too cold, really, but we were all dressed warmly enough and no one wanted to go it, there was a brief comment about grilling/bar-b-q-ing in the winter and how it has its charms. Which reminded me of being a kid and going to a/the sugar shack in late March and having boiled-down maple-syrup that's been poured on a bed of snow that you then wind up on a stick. Between getting the anecdote over the bridge into German and just the brute physical distance from that place - and then time, of course - I probably didn't really get it across at all (like here: but it's a mix of darkness, cold, sweetness, the mysteries of grown-up behaviors drunken and not, the ride home in the back of the car. Getting your suceur stuck to your coat when you fall asleep and drop it. And the flavor of the thing. Well,
*open your hands, shrug lightly*
(have a great week, whatever it takes)
posted by From Bklyn at 6:08 AM on March 26
These RW Garcia Jalapeño gluten-free crackers are very tasty but also produce murder butt, the foulest gas of my life. I donno if it's the flax seeds or what, but they're just not worth it.
posted by seanmpuckett at 6:18 AM on March 26
posted by seanmpuckett at 6:18 AM on March 26
I feel like roadkill today. Like "I'd consider calling in sick today except I only have one meeting and it's in the afternoon and I don't want to reschedule and I need to do something in town tonight so I don't want to go home and come back," and also I only have seven sick days saved up and this is not quite bad enough feeling to waste one. But I feel exhausted and sick to my stomach--presumably from upping one of my meds this week--and ugh, feel like awful. At least I'm not doing anything crucial.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:46 AM on March 26 [1 favorite]
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:46 AM on March 26 [1 favorite]
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NO LOAFING
posted by genpfault at 7:02 AM on March 18 [2 favorites]