Bad blood in the water. Also poo.

April 12, 2025 1:17 AM

The annual rowing race between Cambridge University Boat Club and Oxford University Boat Club takes place on the 4.2 mile river Thames course tomorrow. Beginning in 1829 and annual since 1856, Cambridge lead 87-81 (with one dead heat) in the men's race and lead 47-30 in the women's race. Amongst various quirks and antiquities, each team can object to rowers in the other; this year Oxford have objected to 3 Cambridge students on academic courses below degree level. This year's spare race has been cancelled as the Oxbridge fisticuffs deepens; lawyers are benefiting. A complication is the poor water quality as England's rivers are full of shit and/or chemicals. [previous drama]
posted by Wordshore (17 comments total)

A MeFite in the previous drama thread wrote:

...Anything that upsets sport is fine by me. Next time, let there be a (what is the appropriate collective noun?) entire pod of walruses released suddenly at Putney, and may they all suffer with explosive dysentery...

They may have their wish - at least the latter part - if either boat sinks and the crews swallow the river water.
posted by Wordshore at 1:25 AM on April 12 [4 favorites]

I'm sad that nobody's picked up the baton to stage the Oxford v. Cambridge Goat Race, which was a lot of fun on a similar theme, except involving goats and less rowing.
posted by fight or flight at 1:25 AM on April 12 [9 favorites]

PGCE is actually not below degree level, being postgraduate. But yes it’s a certificate (degree-lite) rather than a degree itself. It’s all very silly.
posted by lokta at 3:13 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]

Oh, anyway, you might be interested to know that the trad thing to say in this town* is ‘GDBO’, aka God Damn Bloody Oxford. Not sure what they say about Cambridge…

*only in the university. The town doesn’t give a shit. Cambridge is two cities sharing a bit of ground.
posted by lokta at 3:15 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]

The accompanying text should be Zuleika Dobson
posted by chavenet at 3:25 AM on April 12 [4 favorites]

Holy shit chavenet that’s amazing.

(Also back to report that the Oxford phrase, which I had forgotten, is ‘FTT’ where the last two letters are ‘the [Can]tab[ridgian]s’.)
posted by lokta at 5:00 AM on April 12 [3 favorites]

It’s all very silly

An excellent example of Sayre's law.
posted by Mitheral at 6:31 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]

The only just result is if both boats sink.
posted by biffa at 6:32 AM on April 12

Sir Humphrey Appleby: "The universities. Both of them."
posted by Your Childhood Pet Rock at 8:15 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]

The unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible
posted by Faff at 8:45 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]

Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel?

That scoundrel, with his PGCE and rippling musculature! It's not on, it's just not on!
posted by lalochezia at 11:27 AM on April 12

> However, Oxford University raised objections about the three students on PGCE courses, claiming they were "certificates" and not degrees.

Oh fuck ooooooffffffff. I hope they sink.
posted by automatronic at 11:41 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]

I couldn't find a clipped link on YT*, so watch The Magic Christian in its entirety anyway (it's good for you!)
The boat race between Oxford and Cambridge, Graham Chapman solemnly intoning "We can't be bought" until he sees the amount offered. Best of all, Ringo getting a nice snapshot with one of the alumni who was just previously hurling over the side of the boat in disgust.
posted by winesong at 6:14 PM on April 12

Sad to see that the tradition of pinching a policeman's helmet on Boat Race Night seems to have fallen out of favour.
posted by phliar at 6:39 PM on April 12 [1 favorite]

You Brits and your euphemisms...
posted by quinndexter at 1:12 AM on April 13

BBC: "Cambridge claimed an eighth consecutive victory over Oxford after an early restart to the women's Boat Race. Umpire Matthew Pinsent stopped the race in the second minute after the Oxford boat drifted into Cambridge's path and their oars clashed on the River Thames in London.

Oxford could have been disqualified but were penalised, with Cambridge given a third-of-a-length advantage on the restart. The light blues extended that advantage to coast home, taking their tally to 49 victories in the 79th staging of the women's event."
posted by Wordshore at 6:54 AM on April 13 [1 favorite]

the Oxford v. Cambridge Goat Race, which was a lot of fun on a similar theme, except involving goats and less rowing.

"less" is doing some interesting work there.
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:41 AM on April 14