October 25, 2002
4:14 AM   Subscribe

18 Ways to Hate Your Neighbour: Europe ’s Lesson To The World.
And: What European Tribes Think About One Another
via memepool
posted by hama7 (60 comments total)
Being an european, I can tell you this is bullshit. We're not NEARLY as much as americans in the american vs canadian or american vs american rednecks jokes. Name-calling is considered for how much is it worth : nothing.
posted by elpapacito at 4:24 AM on October 25, 2002

Oh, come on. I've heard plenty of people give the Canadians grief, but I don't know anyone who hates Canadians or Canada. I mean, some of my very best friends are Canadian (not that there's anything wrong with that).

As to the rednecks, that's something a bit more complex.
posted by wheat at 4:32 AM on October 25, 2002

Yippee!! More fodder for the great US v. Europe slagging match of 2002. Thank you for enlightening me on what I [allegedly] think of my neighbours, and what they think of me. Super.

Also, what elpapacito said - the opinions expressed seem to me to be hugely-exaggerated versions of actual perceptions. Like the US v. Canada thing, while everybody knows what the stereotypes are, virtually nobody takes them seriously in this day and age.
posted by Doozer at 4:36 AM on October 25, 2002

That was perhaps the least funny thing i have read all century.
posted by robself at 4:44 AM on October 25, 2002

I'm not sure the Belgian views in the second link are, strictly speaking, opinions so much as facts. I mean, Belgian beer is the best.
posted by fidelity at 4:47 AM on October 25, 2002

It amused me: parts of it anyway. Intra-European fear and loathing is alive and well, in my experience, even if it is, in most cases, a long way from boiling-point.
posted by misteraitch at 4:48 AM on October 25, 2002

The worst thing though is that the European women all wear scarves around their fucking necks and they don’t fucking put out. I mean, they make American bitches seem like target practice.

Pretty much sums it all up I think.
posted by ToothpickVic at 4:54 AM on October 25, 2002

Well, I now know that exile.ru is a pointless waste of space!
posted by daveg at 5:08 AM on October 25, 2002

This is supposed to be funny? In the ha-ha sense?

It fails miserably. Sorry. It just seems bitter and scorned.

No European isn't aware of how we've fought amongst ourselves for millenia, but we're trying really hard to end it and in Western Europe we've succeded so far. The challenge is now to enlarge the peace zone to include Central and Eastern Europe. The Russians seem frightened by this - judging from this Anti-European bullshit, and perhaps rightly so; after all the EU IS moving in on what was once their zones of influence. However, while a drive to create more wealth and welfare in new Eastern European memberstates might indeed be turbulent and the end result may be a stronger Europe than ever, it is also a Europe Russia has less to fear from than ever before.
posted by cx at 5:10 AM on October 25, 2002

A better comparison than US:Europe is Americas:Europe. Slightly different now...

But, hey, this is from a Russion-based alt. magazine run by Yanks for Yanks so it ain't trying to be friendly but then it's satire so most folks are up for a kicking.

Anyway, Europeans can't be that bad...they did create the USA after all...
posted by i_cola at 5:15 AM on October 25, 2002

That'll be 'Russian-based'
posted by i_cola at 5:17 AM on October 25, 2002

I'm going to Hell.
posted by RavinDave at 5:29 AM on October 25, 2002

I notice he didn't do Americans.

Odd bloke, P.J. O'Rourke. It's like he's read about wit, and really really wants to do it but doesn't have a fucking clue where to start. Sad, really.
posted by Grangousier at 6:00 AM on October 25, 2002

RavinDave:Do you find that site funny?
posted by originalname37 at 6:02 AM on October 25, 2002

RavinDave:Do you find that site funny?

I do. Grow a spine, and a sense of Humor.
posted by hama7 at 6:07 AM on October 25, 2002

hama7:I do. Grow a spine, and a sense of Humor.

Right. Saying about Africans:

Probably not people at all. Probably some kind of monkey. They eat each other and worship bundles of sticks and mud. You can never remember the names of their countries, which have a new Main Nigger every half hour...

Is so fucking funny.
posted by originalname37 at 6:13 AM on October 25, 2002

Hama7 If you're looking for humour, perhaps you'll have more succes with these: the Xenophobe's Guides
posted by ginz at 6:27 AM on October 25, 2002

Grow a spine, and a sense of Humor.

Hama7 - It pains me to say this, but like P.J. O'Rourke, you've demonstrated that you're reasonably intelligent, and occasionally funny, but also an utterly odious toad.

Is there any point to this FPP? I know it's friday but couldn't you find some Flash version of Kerplunk or something?
posted by backOfYourMind at 6:28 AM on October 25, 2002

I have to agree with the article. I'm from Belgium, and other European countries do have bad beer.
posted by darkcompanion at 6:30 AM on October 25, 2002

Is so fucking funny.

Is funny. So funny. So get off your soapbox. Have you ever heard the word "lampoon"?

Please get over it.

And you folks are derailing the almighty thread with this nonsense.
posted by hama7 at 6:32 AM on October 25, 2002

It was better last week when I read it on memepool.
posted by BentPenguin at 6:33 AM on October 25, 2002

Going by the historical references I think the O'Rourke piece is early 70s and, well, that sort of thing was more acceptable then. Not that I'm defending it but it does seem dated somewhat.

darkcompanion: I think it's more a case of Belgium having lots of very good beer than others having bad.

hama7: You might be leaving yourself open to being 'lampooned'...
posted by i_cola at 6:43 AM on October 25, 2002

Is funny. So funny. So get off your soapbox. Have you ever heard the word "lampoon"?

I don't want to do this, but I'm going to....

I just about pissed myself when I saw those septic tanks getting fucking crushed by those twin towers and stuff...hey, fuck 'em, they invented aerosol cheese so they deserve to die! [/lampoon]

Oh dear, making fun of 'Johnny Foreigner' - it's not such a laugh now, is it?

If it's good for the goose...
posted by backOfYourMind at 6:43 AM on October 25, 2002

Now you made me look up aerosol cheese in my strine dictionary. And I can't find it.
posted by ginz at 6:48 AM on October 25, 2002

great link (remove tongue from cheek).

Europe, that's like over there somewhere.
posted by johnnyboy at 6:58 AM on October 25, 2002

National Lampoon.

Take your idiocy elsewhere.
posted by hama7 at 7:01 AM on October 25, 2002

Well, I'm from Finland and I agree about the Belgian beer part as well. Christianity's greatest gift to mankind is trappist beer.
posted by lazy-ville at 7:06 AM on October 25, 2002

Take your idiocy elsewhere.

I know a straight line when I see one - who(m) and what idiocy are you referring to? The person who posted the National Lampoon link or the people who referred to it - or both?
posted by backOfYourMind at 7:08 AM on October 25, 2002

I thought this was hilarious. I realize The Exile isn't for everyone, but I'm surprised this many MeFites have such refined sensibilities they can't appreciate a little over-the-top vulgar humor. Of course, the protesters do seem to be... European...
posted by languagehat at 7:25 AM on October 25, 2002

And you folks are derailing the almighty thread with this nonsense

I'm getting a bit confused here.
This thread isn't about funny nonsence? I must admit that some of the nonsence is funnier than other nonsence posted here.
posted by ginz at 7:30 AM on October 25, 2002

[offtopic] Speaking of nonsence, I just bought The Goon Show Companion. Going to read it this weekend I hope. Any other Goon fans here in the blue? Perhaps someone with a great fpp idea?
posted by ginz at 7:36 AM on October 25, 2002

Europeans' arrogant attitude towards America does deserve ridiculing. First, while the average level of education here may be lower, that's mostly because so many European peasants left and/or were kicked or chased out of Europe and landed here. Moreover, there's little correlation between education and wisdom.
posted by ParisParamus at 7:37 AM on October 25, 2002

Mmm. War and hatred happens when people of different races and cultures live next to each other. Europe is unique in this respect how?
posted by Summer at 9:29 AM on October 25, 2002

Grow a spine?

Nidle Nadle Noo!
posted by Grangousier at 9:45 AM on October 25, 2002

I feel strange explaining a 30-year-old National Lampoon article to someone, but originalname, get a fucking clue.

The article is satirizing American attitudes toward foreigners, not making fun of foreigners themselves.

Now I've made it all boring. Sorry, everyone.

As for the eXile article, I didn't find it nearly approached 1970s-era O'Rourke, who was writing -- you must understand -- for frat boys.
posted by dhartung at 9:55 AM on October 25, 2002

*Whistling along with Grangousier (from the album of the same name)*

Mairzy doats and dozy doats
And liddle lamzy divey;
A kiddley divey too: wouldn't you?
posted by MiguelCardoso at 9:55 AM on October 25, 2002

someone needs to put together a graph like this one for all 50 of the United States.

I'd be able to fill in what most of the southwestern & west coast states think of each other, plus I think we'd all have a few tidbits about Florida ...
posted by whatnot at 9:59 AM on October 25, 2002

Ying tong iddle I po!
posted by Grangousier at 10:03 AM on October 25, 2002

Mostly harmless and mostly unfunny. Not unfunny because I think the authors really think these things--they probably don't--but because the whole faux-naif bigot schtick is one of the most boring ways to reach for a laugh I can think of. Not taboo. Not hateful. Just lame. That goes for P.J. O'Rourke (most of the time), too. But perhaps my sense of humor isn't finely developed enough.

Take your idiocy elsewhere.

No, let's just wall it up in this thread and not tell anyone.
posted by octobersurprise at 10:11 AM on October 25, 2002

The article is satirizing American attitudes toward foreigners, not making fun of foreigners themselves.[dhartung]

I get it. I just think it goes too far.
posted by originalname37 at 10:12 AM on October 25, 2002

(without being particularly funny)
posted by originalname37 at 10:18 AM on October 25, 2002

languagehat - I wasn't even going to comment, but when I found the link the other day I laughed at the scandinavian stereotypes and what we think of each other, the swedes thought of as 'can't hold their liquor' by all other scandinavians is pretty spot on. [i'm swedish].
Perhaps it's because I'm living in denmark and I get to hear these things daily, while I tease the danes constantly, and then we both agree on that the norweigans are stupid. all in good fun. It's sortof sibling-teasing. we don't mean any harm with it, and nobody takes it as a real insult.
posted by dabitch at 10:20 AM on October 25, 2002

dabitch - you've gotta be kidding. Us Norwegians get together with the Danes and completely agree the Swedes are the doofs (insert Swedish Blonde or umlaut or yellow-striped Nazi-supporter joke here)... Hmmm - maybe it's finally time for the Norwegians and the Swedes to unite against the Danes? Naaah!
posted by widdershins at 10:30 AM on October 25, 2002

Funny. The Finns hate the Swedes, too. Or at least consider them to be lightweght and more than a trifle effeminate.

But then, the Finns....
posted by Grangousier at 10:37 AM on October 25, 2002

Ying tong iddle I po! Whoooooh
posted by ginz at 10:44 AM on October 25, 2002

I would be happy to offer my evaluation of the charts' accuracy, but I see that the European country with which I am most familiar (Austria) isn't anywhere to be found...

Nonetheless, in my experience, quite a few European prejudices survive, if only at a (mostly) playful level -- at least in my part of Europe. I could entertain you with a few relevant personal anecdotes, if you'd like.

On another note, some of you people really need to lighten up...
posted by syzygy at 11:09 AM on October 25, 2002

This whole thread is ironic, right?

Only you can never tell on this new-fangled internet thingy...

Of course the problem with Alf Garnett, was that the bigots laughed with him, not at him.

That's Archie Bunker to you 'septics'.

posted by inpHilltr8r at 11:15 AM on October 25, 2002

Posts like these speak volumes about MEFI members. Some of you folks are really boring. Nothing wrong with that,but,



posted by sharksandwich at 11:40 AM on October 25, 2002

I thought it was pretty funny. But not nearly as funny as this editorial on the same site.
posted by Slothrup at 12:04 PM on October 25, 2002

the tables are a lot better than the text.
posted by andrew cooke at 1:51 PM on October 25, 2002

Hama7: Grow a spine

Blatant invertebraphobia.

posted by George_Spiggott at 3:56 PM on October 25, 2002

Ha. As a half Swede (with a Norwegian great-aunt) I have some passing familiarity with the jocular contempt Nordic citizens heap on each other -- see Scandihoovian Jokes.

My favorite is, Many years ago the Norwegians invented the toilet seat. Some years later the Swedes invented the hole. I think they have it reversed, though.

At least I think it's jocular.
posted by dhartung at 9:05 PM on October 25, 2002

Metafilter - not fucking putting out.
posted by botono9 at 9:29 PM on October 25, 2002

the exile is great, it's a good punk humor (they also do funny and right-on-the-spot political critique). If you cannot take it, you are probably a PC-infested european bore. wait, I'm european, take that word out. But yes, having lived in 5 different european countries, i can attest, their remarks are right on. ohhhh welllll.... america still sucks. it's just that we suck even worse. who doesn't suck? ;)
/fark mood
posted by bokononito at 1:32 AM on October 26, 2002

To add to what bokononito said, The Exile provided chapter and verse on the mind-boggling corruption (aided and abetted by Western "do-gooder" vultures) that ruined Russia in the '90s when the respectable press was sweeping it under the rug and pretending the "liberal" crew in the Yeltsin administration was doing just fine. Yes, they're childish and vulgar and sometimes even I get fed up with their pranks, but on the whole one scurrilous Exile screed is worth every word Michael Wines (the Times' Moscow correspondent) ever wrote.
posted by languagehat at 6:46 AM on October 26, 2002

this is an wonderful example that shows what all european already know: americans are so uneducated. they missed austria.
posted by arf at 7:43 AM on October 26, 2002

languagehat, remember all these competitions for the worst foreign reporter they used to publish? A friend of mine in Moscow (she's a Belgian journalist there) said the entire expat writing community would be anxiously waiting for each new contest and whoever would be unfortunate enough to get the exile's 'prize' would be ridiculed for weeks to come (privately of course; they wouldn't want to lose their jobs).
posted by bokononito at 12:26 PM on October 26, 2002

Ha! I always wondered if those contests had any impact.
posted by languagehat at 2:35 PM on October 26, 2002

C'mon, arf -- Austria isn't anywhere near Europe.
posted by dhartung at 10:16 PM on October 26, 2002

originalname37: RavinDave:Do you find that site funny?


Of course, I grok the context.

I consider it the type of piece that if you laugh too hard at it, you probably have issues. If you don't laugh at all, you definitely do.
posted by RavinDave at 1:29 AM on October 27, 2002

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