GasBGon Flatulence Filter Seat Cushion
January 16, 2003 2:03 PM   Subscribe

Clear the air, not the room.
"You no longer have to be embarrassed by the untimely passing of intestinal gas among your friends or family." The GasBGon Flatulence Filter Seat Cushion "...has been designed and tested to absorb the odor and sound of flatulence." Buy one today for yourself, a loved one or a friend.
posted by mr_crash_davis (17 comments total)
Odd. I was mentioning just last week that something like this should ship with all Aeron Chairs.
posted by Cyrano at 2:17 PM on January 16, 2003

Yes, aeron chairs would actually be comfortable if they had padding, and were shaped like normal seats.

Why is it that I only feel comfortable on a seat if it was made before 1980? And, not only that, but why is it that I manage to break every seat made after 1990?

[ Before you all get a chance to say it... ]
posted by shepd at 2:45 PM on January 16, 2003

Before I get a chance to say page unavailable, shepd? :-P

And the person who puts good manners in front of good health needs to unclench.
posted by WolfDaddy at 2:47 PM on January 16, 2003

I dunno Crash, something smells kind of funny about this...
posted by jonson at 2:55 PM on January 16, 2003

farting obnoxiously is one of lifes great joys.
posted by quonsar at 2:55 PM on January 16, 2003

And if that's not enough, try this.
posted by staggernation at 3:01 PM on January 16, 2003

This is sure to be a hit in Bend Oregon, where the city council has proposed new qualifications for riding public transportation: "Proposed new city rules would ban spitting, defecating, smoking, skateboarding, and stinking on city buses.

The regulations ban anyone who "emanates a grossly repulsive odor that is unavoidable by other Bend Extended Area Transit customers"...farting while aboard public transportation is already illegal". While the proposed new regs also outlaw cursing and lewd gestures, the city council assured the public that it would still be allright to carry concealed weapons if you have a permit.
posted by Mack Twain at 3:12 PM on January 16, 2003

This nifty little invention might have saved one of my relationships, many moons ago. I swear, that guy wasa walking methane plant. Health nut, my butt--and his too apparently. How can "healthy" food have such disterous consequences for the one you love and share your space with? I ask you.
posted by Tiger_Lily at 3:23 PM on January 16, 2003

Tiger Lily, was he on an all bean, brussel sprouts and cabbage diet by any chance? Debatably it would be a healthy diet, assuming you never linger near an open flame.
posted by substrate at 3:33 PM on January 16, 2003

Since I've been at all day for other nefarious purposes, I thought I'd share this with you all:

The Roman emperor Claudius is said to have been so alarmed at the prospect of expiring while attempting to stifle one's natural impulses that he considered issuing an imperial decree making it permissible to fart at the dinner table.
posted by WolfDaddy at 6:00 PM on January 16, 2003

Some interesting fart facts from Dr. Fart:

* on average the normal number of flatulatic occurrences a day is 10.
*an average male fart is made up of about 110 milliliters of gas (almost half a cup), with 80 milliliters for a woman's (a third of a cup)
*The British explorer and linguist Sir Richard Francis Burton, who first translated the "Kama Sutra" in 1883, contends in one of his many books that a tribe of Arabian Bedouins created a language of arcane codes and warnings through a series of intricately nuanced farts.
posted by madamjujujive at 7:42 PM on January 16, 2003

That'd be nuanced in sound, or nuanced in smell?

("sniff... hmmm... Alel is emitting a rotting lamb smell... so I must negotiate carefully with this trader. But, wait, Shelu is emitting a roasted garlic smell! Perhaps I am to slay him? Oh, damn these marketplace meetings! I can not tell what is an intricately nuanced fart, and what's for dinner!")
posted by five fresh fish at 8:47 PM on January 16, 2003

I'm most surprised that neither this post, nor this one, mention Le Petomane, the most talented flatulent (flatulist?) of all time.

"He's a gas!" audiences must have yelled (in French).
posted by LeLiLo at 10:31 PM on January 16, 2003

He was a big bean and sprouts fan - and kelp too, if memory serves. Who in the bloody hell eats kelp? He was a sweet man, but jaysus.....
posted by Tiger_Lily at 10:57 PM on January 16, 2003

One of the true turning points in a man's life is the day he rips his first 15-second, 4-note fart that ends with the dog leaving the room.

Ah, memories...
posted by UncleFes at 11:00 PM on January 16, 2003

UncleFes: Would that be a four-note sequence (like playing half an octave scale), or four notes at once?!?

'Cause if you could reliably produce a four-part harmony, I think you'd be a serious contender on the new season's "American Idol" show.

Bummer when the dog leaves the room, though, since that's usually a convenient target upon which to lay the blame.
posted by wdpeck at 1:07 AM on January 17, 2003

"One of the true turning points in a man's life is the day he rips his first 15-second, 4-note fart that ends with the dog leaving the room."

relive your coming of age, visit Create a Fart, all sound no smell.
posted by DBAPaul at 4:17 AM on January 17, 2003

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