Everyday millions of pancakes
January 19, 2003 11:04 PM   Subscribe

Everyday millions of pancakes are led to their violent deaths in the slaughter houses of IHOP. It's about time we raised our collective voices and put a stop to this massacre. Thank you, petition online for raising the bar for humanity.
posted by hidely (22 comments total)
Did a hole just rip in the fabric of the universe?
posted by swift at 11:07 PM on January 19, 2003

Funny, that was my first thought upon encountering this link. That, and "oh wonderful, I've just sprayed coffee on my monitor."
posted by hidely at 11:10 PM on January 19, 2003

This is pettion 'Pancake9', what are the 8 before it?
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 11:10 PM on January 19, 2003

aunt jemima is coming. and is she ever pissed.
posted by quonsar at 11:10 PM on January 19, 2003

Would you like a schmoke and a pancake?
posted by shadow45 at 11:17 PM on January 19, 2003

I believe the 9th pancake is from outer space. No one knows what happened to Pancake 4, it vanished without a trace the minute it left the griddle. These and many other unanswered questions will be answered on the next episode of Soap.
posted by WolfDaddy at 11:24 PM on January 19, 2003

ahhh, now I understand
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 11:27 PM on January 19, 2003

btw, for the next month or so, IHOP has all you can eat pancakes for 3.99 :-)
posted by reverendX at 11:28 PM on January 19, 2003

ohmigosh Stan, I thought I was the only fan of the Waffle House songs. (I've been mulling over the idea of an FPP devoted to them for some time now.) As a North Carolinian (who lived in Atlanta for four years) who's now in New York City, I sure do miss the Awful Waffle.

have some Bert's Chili for me!
posted by Vidiot at 11:29 PM on January 19, 2003

They don't have Waffle Houses in New York City?!!? How do you live man?! What the hell do you do at 4 AM when you're smashed out drunk?
posted by Stan Chin at 11:39 PM on January 19, 2003

The undersigned just don't get it.

Pancakes is tasty.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:44 PM on January 19, 2003

People for the Ethical Treatment of Pancakes.
posted by PenDevil at 12:58 AM on January 20, 2003

Whenever I am in Melbourne I try to make a point of visiting one of the local pancake slaughter houses, not just for the pancakes which is tasty or for the maple syrup or the delicious coffee, but so that I can further my education by learning about the Great Colonial Heavier-Than-Air Pancake Tossing Race for ladies and dancers whipping cooks. Incredible machines, bunnies and monkeys all on one site because of pancakes, so death to all pancakes say I.

posted by Tarrama at 2:25 AM on January 20, 2003

This is pettion 'Pancake9', what are the 8 before it?

I believe that if you take into account the natural harmonic principle of timecube, you find that pancake9 is actually . . . pancake2.25!
posted by vraxoin at 5:35 AM on January 20, 2003

What the hell do you do at 4 AM when you're smashed out drunk?

Go to a diner. But it's not the same.
posted by Vidiot at 6:38 AM on January 20, 2003

I resent all of this pro-pancake favortism. What about the oft-maligned relative, the crepe? Far more sensitive to environmental change (and powdered sugar), the the imminent peril of the crepe's extinction constantly takes a back seat to the plight of the pancake.

And I see no mention of flapjacks or silver dollars, either. While I'm sensitive to the senseless slaughter of pancakes, we should not forget that others, no less important, suffer in this breakfast butchery.

And for those who do not believe in timecube,
"You are probably brainwashed, indoctrinated, educated stupid and cannot comprehend
Nature's Harmonic Simultaneous 4-Day Perpetual Time Cube Creation"

So there.
posted by FormlessOne at 6:44 AM on January 20, 2003

All your pancakes belong...

Damn. Sorry - couldn't resist.
posted by davidmsc at 6:49 AM on January 20, 2003

And I see no mention of flapjacks or silver dollars

Nor the McDonalds "hotcake". But to be fair the petition does raise awareness of the silver dollar, and I quote (NSFW):

What's more they serve the infants of the adult pancake (so called "silver dollars")

Somthing must be done.
posted by stbalbach at 6:53 AM on January 20, 2003

And when they came for the waffles, no one was left to stand up for them...
posted by 2sheets at 8:31 AM on January 20, 2003

Reminds me of Tools Disgustipated
..And the Angel Of The Lord came unto me, snatching me up from my place of slumber. And took me on high, and higher still, until we moved through the spaces 'betwixt the air itself. And he brought me unto a vast farmland of our own midwest. And as we decended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil. One thousand, 'nay, a million voices, full of fear. And terror posessed me then. And I begged, "Angel Of The Lord, what are these totured screams?" and the Angel said unto me, "These are the Cries Of The Carrots. The Cries Of The Carrots, Y'see Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is Harvest Day, and to them, it is The Holocaust."
..And I sprang from my slumber, drenched in sweat, like the tears of a million terrified brothers. And, Lord, Hear me now, I have seen the light, They have a conciousness, They have a life, They have a soul. Damn You! Let
the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers!

posted by blue_beetle at 10:08 AM on January 20, 2003

Why aren't the anti abortionists standing up for the rights of unborn chickens?

Most of those pancakes are served with eggs and the really tasty ones are made with eggs.
posted by whatever at 3:40 PM on January 20, 2003

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