Am I Enlightened or Not?
January 19, 2003 11:08 PM   Subscribe

Am I Enlightened or Not? Looking for a Guru to guide towards your true path? Sarlo's Guru ratings can help you find that special spiritual master. Once you've found that special someone, compare his rating with Gurus and Masters throughout history. I'm a bit disapointed that Confucius is only a Two Star guru, while William Shakespeare comes in at Three Stars, just like Jesus.
posted by Stan Chin (17 comments total)
Note: Does not rate Linux Gurus.
posted by Stan Chin at 11:16 PM on January 19, 2003

Does it do Windows Gurus?

Oh, that one just slipped out. I'm sorry.
posted by WolfDaddy at 11:29 PM on January 19, 2003

Wow. Who knew there were so many spiritual leaders out there. Ridiculous. I do appreciate their pink vibrating booby scale for rankings. Maybe I will use it to rank my favorite mefi posts, ala [This is Good].

posted by jonson at 11:32 PM on January 19, 2003

sometimes i think there are no more sites out there that are just plain ugly and hard on the eyes. then i come across one.
posted by folktrash at 11:33 PM on January 19, 2003

Gee here I was thinking the pink boobies were glowing, but now you're telling me ...

posted by WolfDaddy at 11:36 PM on January 19, 2003

I do believe those are lemmings walking over the booby.
posted by howa2396 at 11:41 PM on January 19, 2003

i think it's sneeches. the ones without stars upon thars.
posted by folktrash at 11:43 PM on January 19, 2003

Well, they can't be very good lists, since they both leave out Baba O'Reilly.

Speaking of whom, I notice that on the vibrating boobies scale, Meher Baba outranks Jesus by a full boobie, while on the quasi-Soviet iconography scale, Jesus and Baba are tied for three Red Army stars apiece. Holy mackerel, if the guru rankers can't agree, how will I know what to believe?
posted by scody at 12:52 AM on January 20, 2003

Because the world is round it turns me on
Because the world is round...aaaaaahhhhhh

Because the wind is high it blows my mind
Because the wind is high......aaaaaaaahhhh

Love is all, love is new
Love is all, love is you

Because the sky is blue, it makes me cry
Because the sky is blue.......aaaaaaaahhhh

posted by The Jesse Helms at 12:56 AM on January 20, 2003

Damn, damn, damn, damn - checking mefi on monday morning to find that a potentially interesting thread has been totally derailed by leftpondians' lazing on a sunday afternoon. Yes, the designs suck and no, they don't mention RMS or T O'R for pete's sake. So what?

I'm even more annoyed because my (first) fpp might have been on this topic, with these links amongst others.

Seriously. It is very interesting how many gurus there are out there, I've been involved with a couple of the ones named on these list and a couple who are too local to make ever make it. It is so rich out there, both with fakers and genuine masters. It is a thin line between them.

Holy mackerel, if the guru rankers can't agree, how will I know what to believe?
well that's the trick: try to not become a cynic, surrender and keep your bullshit detector on (and to quote one of the people I met on my path, "if it isn't a paradox, it can't be true.")

(that said, reading Baba O'Reilly had me LOL)
posted by esha at 2:50 AM on January 20, 2003

I see they have Aleister Crowley listed as a 2-star spiritual master. Considering that Crowley's gig was being a black magician (he proclaimed himself "the worst man in the world") I think it might be a good idea to ask any of these Enlightened Ones not just "can you lead me?" but also "where do you-all plan to lead me to?" -- as in "Hey, where am I going? And what am I doing in this handbasket?"
posted by jfuller at 2:55 AM on January 20, 2003

esha - if you had other interesting links on the subject, why not post them here? That's what discussions are ideally for. That, and this:

posted by jonson at 8:09 AM on January 20, 2003

I hadn't been to this site for a, those gurus are multiplying like rabbits! I like Sarlo; he nails the frauds and skewers the pompous and gives props to the handful of decent gurus out there. Man, would you look at all those Tibetans! They make a lot more bucks selling mantras than prayer flags and gold-plated Padmasambhava statues!
posted by kozad at 10:04 AM on January 20, 2003

William S Sadler: From The Urantia Book: "Jesus now prepares to spend a short period on Urantia to experience the ascending morontia career of a mortal of the realms. Although this time of the morontia life is to be spent on the world of his mortal incarnation, it will be in all respects the counterpart of the experience of Satania mortals who pass through the progressive morontia life of the seven mansion worlds of Jerusem." Morontia indeed. Wanker.

Hey, this is a neat place! I love the little write-ups and comments. Thanks for the link.
posted by ashbury at 2:18 PM on January 20, 2003

I didn't notice any web-design gurus listed there - a pity, as they sure do need one. This site is very hard to navigate.
posted by pyramid termite at 3:58 PM on January 20, 2003

But the guy has content, content, content. A fascinating site, I enjoyed myself a lot in there.
posted by gimonca at 7:59 PM on January 20, 2003

Why does he fault Thich Nhat Hanh for his political past?
posted by mblandi at 8:22 PM on January 20, 2003

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