Beating the Nostradamus followers to the punch!
February 2, 2003 3:52 PM   Subscribe

Beating the Nostradamus followers to the punch!
Century I - 55 :
Soubz l'opposite climat Babylonique
Grande sera de sang effusion
Que terre & mer, air, Ciel sera inique
Sectes, faim, regnes, pestes, confusion

In a climate opposed to the Babylonians,
Blood will flow in a large flood,
From ground, sea, and air, injustice shall reign
Sects, famine, kings, plagues, confusion.

posted by insomnia_lj (23 comments total)
I'd be worried if I was from Iran also. ;)
posted by RobbieFal at 3:59 PM on February 2, 2003

Just for amusement, here are a few more interpretations:

Durant l'etoile chevelue apparente,
Les trois grands princes seront faits ennemies;
Frappes du ciel, paix terre tremulente,
Pau, Tymbre undans, serent sur le bord mis.

During the appearance of the bearded star
the three great princes (Bush, Blair, Hussein) will be made enemies.
Struck from the sky, peace and earth quaking.
Po, Tiber overflowing; a serpent shall be placed on the edge (shore?).

(This seems to refer to an invasion flowing from Italy. It specifically mentions Po -- Po valley is where Aviano Air Base is located. Aviano is home to the US stealth bombers and a springboard for US troop deployments. In the event of war with Iraq, planes from Aviano would be used for any initial assault with stealth aircraft and bombers deploying cruise missiles.)

De l'aquatique triplicite naistra,
D'vn qui fera le Ieudy pour sa feste.
Son bruit, los, regne, sa puissance croistra,
Par terre & mer,aux Oriens tempeste.

From the three seas (atlantic, pacific, arctic) will be born a nation (USA)
it will celebrate Thursday (Thanksgiving?) as its holiday.
It's brashness, fame, rule, and power will grow
on land and sea, bringing trouble to the East.

L'an mil neuf cens nonante neuf sept mois,
Du ciel viendra un gran Roy d'effrayeur.
Resusciter le grand Roy d'Angolmois.
Avant apres Mars regner par bon heur.

The year 1999, seventh month,
From the sky will come a great King of Terror.
To bring back to life the great King of the Mongols,
Before and after Mars to reign by good luck.

This could be a reference to George W. Bush, who formally announced his run for president just two weeks before the seventh month of 1999. He shall bring terror from the sky.

So, yeah. George W. Bush is the antichrist. I even have confirmation from a second reliable source!
posted by insomnia_lj at 4:04 PM on February 2, 2003

Oops. Link for that second reliable source.
posted by insomnia_lj at 4:05 PM on February 2, 2003

posted by luckyclone at 4:34 PM on February 2, 2003

Those interpretations aren't half so convincing as the Texas Bloggie Conspiracy.
posted by kfury at 4:43 PM on February 2, 2003

i saw it on tv.
posted by specialk420 at 4:43 PM on February 2, 2003

Nostradamus was wrong. About *everything*.

It had to be said.
posted by davidmsc at 5:18 PM on February 2, 2003

He was right about the sects and violins.
posted by hama7 at 5:26 PM on February 2, 2003

George W. Bush is the antichrist.

Wrong. The antichrist is a MeFi member.
posted by languagehat at 5:28 PM on February 2, 2003

It's always the MeFi member that you least suspect...
posted by davidmsc at 5:47 PM on February 2, 2003

Wrong. The antichrist is a MeFi member.

Ahh... I thought that would link to my page... :(
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 5:50 PM on February 2, 2003

During the appearance of the bearded star ...

Willie Nelson?
posted by spazzm at 6:17 PM on February 2, 2003

Oh, for chrissake. Nostrodamus' "predictions" are such bullshit. Why anybody with an IQ above room-temperature would ever bother to repeat them (to say nothing of putting any stock in them) is a mystery to me.

Look, look, I'm Nostrodamus!

In the year of the rabbit,
a great terror will befall the weak.
In the east, the strong will overcome
and the leader shall fall.

Another, another!

A kingdom led by a coward,
made less by time and ignorance;
three captains will challenge,
two will emerge from the darkness.

Let's all be Nostrodamus! Bonus points for obtuseness, vaguery, and double bonus points for references to more than one type of livestock in a single stanza.
posted by waldo at 6:46 PM on February 2, 2003

And this week's "failure to recognize sarcasm when it bites him on the ass" award goes to...
posted by ook at 7:45 PM on February 2, 2003

Waldo - yeah, you go! By the way, modern scientific studies have also revealed that in order to distribute gifts to so many children, Santa Clauses' sleigh would need to fly so fast that his reindeer would burst into flame!

I think there's a bit more to Nostradamus than that.....

But I prefer Mother Shipton's (alleged) prophesies:

"For in those wondrous far off days
The women shall adopt a craze
To dress like men, and trousers wear
And to cut off their locks of hair
They'll ride astride with brazen brow
As witches do on broomstick now
And roaring monsters with man atop
Does seem to eat the verdant crop
And men shall fly as birds do now
And give away the horse and plough
There'll be a sign for all to see
Be sure that it will certain be.

Then love shall die and marriage cease
And nations wane as babes decrease
And wives shall fondle cats and dogs
And men live much the same as hogs "

hmmm...."men live much the same as hogs"? Sounds about right to me, then there's:

"When pictures seem alive with movements free
When boats like fishes swim beneath the sea,
When men like birds shall scour the sky
Then half the world, deep drenched in blood shall die
For those who live the century through
In fear and trembling this shall do.

Flee to the mountains and the dens
To bog and forest and wild fens.

For storms will rage and oceans roar
When Gabriel stands on sea and shore
And as he blows his wondrous horn
Old worlds die and new be born......

The tides will rise beyond their ken
To bite away the shores and then
The mountains will begin to roar
And earthquakes split the plain to shore
And flooding waters, rushing in
Will flood the lands with such a din
That mankind cowers in muddy fen
And snarls about his fellow men
He bares his teeth and fights and kills
And secrets food in secret hills
And ugly in his fear, he lies
To kill marauders, thieves and spies
Man flees in terror from the floods
And kills, and rapes and lies in blood
And spilling blood by mankind's hands
Will stain and bitter many lands
And when the dragon's tail is gone,
Man forgets, and smiles, and carries on
To apply himself - too late, too late
For mankind has earned deserved fate
His masked smile - his false grandeur,
Will serve the Gods their anger stir.

And they will send the Dragon back
To light the sky - his tail will crack
Upon the earth and rend the earth
And man shall flee, King, Lord, and serf
But slowly they are routed out
To seek diminishing water spout
And men will die of thirst before
The oceans rise to mount the shore
And lands will crack and rend anew
You think it strange. It will come true
And in some far off distant land
Some men - oh such a tiny band
Will have to leave their solid mount
And span the earth, those few to count,
Who survives this (unreadable) and then
Begin the human race again
But not on land already there
But on ocean beds, stark, dry and bare
Not every soul on Earth will die
As the Dragons tail goes sweeping by
Not every land on earth will sink
But these will wallow in stench and stink
Of rotting bodies of beast and man
Of vegetation crisped on land
But the land that rises from the sea
Will be dry and clean and soft and free
Of mankind's dirt and therefore be
The source of man's new dynasty
And those that live will ever fear
The dragons tail for many year
But time erases memory
You think it strange. But it will be
And before the race is built anew
A silver serpent comes to view
And spew out men of like unknown
To mingle with the earth now grown
Cold from its heat and these men can
Enlighten the minds of future man
To intermingle and show them how
To live and love and thus endow
The children with the second sight.

A natural thing so that they might
Grow graceful, humble and when they do
The Golden Age will start anew.

The dragons tail is but a sign
For mankind's fall and man's decline. "

Hmmm.....provocative. I'd love to verify the authenticity of these prophecies. They could be a total hoax - but they're still a great read.

Regardless of Mother Shipton's prophecies, I'd say the signs are still there for all to read - signs such as environmental decay, the growing destructive power of weaponry, genetically engineered plagues, yada yada yada. It doesn't take a genius to guess where this is going......head for the hills! Don't look back! Bring your toothbrush and boy scout manual! Bring 100 pound bags full of canned spam and lentil soup!...don't look back!- you'll become a pillar of salt!...
posted by troutfishing at 7:52 PM on February 2, 2003

I still think Bush is the anit-christ.
posted by mary8nne at 8:46 PM on February 2, 2003

Mother Shipton also said:

"The world to an end will come
in Nineteen Hundred and Ninety One."


And let's not forget Woody Allen's cryptic prediction:
"Two countries will go to war, and one will win."
posted by condour75 at 10:12 PM on February 2, 2003

A boy will stub his toe in Shreveport
And the king of the East
Will get a bad ham sandwich
On the third day of March.

It's easy!
posted by geekhorde at 11:34 PM on February 2, 2003

I give to you Siener Van Rensburg, boer prophet. Siener's writings have been used to inspire the rise of right wing ultra-fundamentalism among the Afrikaans community here in South Africa.

The beginning of a Third World War will come after England has survived seven plagues. He describes them as: 1. The loss of the empire; 2. Financial dominance of America over England; 3. Blacks from her ex-colonies flooding in; 4. and 5. A famine and civil war; 6. The British navy floating pointlessly on the sea and lastly 7. “An English horse rider riding in the sea and being drowned”.
posted by PenDevil at 11:51 PM on February 2, 2003

30 And I will shew wonders in the heavens and in the earth, blood, and fire, and pillars of smoke.
posted by sgt.serenity at 1:55 AM on February 3, 2003

More interesting is the combined effect of superstition, the meme, the widely held belief that there is some deity or some phantastical force that underwrites every bit of risk, henceforth negating any failure.

For instance, Nostradamus has his vague quatrains that don't quite live up to the Nostradamus we love to have scare us. Therefore, they're less important. Everyone has their off days, their more insecure prognostications. Needless to say, Nostradamus has a legend that precedes him. For instance, I can't even recall his first name.

Michelle I think.

Another timely prognostication is this particularly eerie chain of events that are great Nostradamian prognostications only in Real Time for those who wish, want or are forced to believe them.
posted by crasspastor at 2:08 AM on February 3, 2003

I still think Bush is the anit-christ.

I think he's the frist psot!
posted by hama7 at 2:37 AM on February 3, 2003

I thought his first name was Bob, Bob Nostradamus, and he smokes a pipe and his followers think they are real smart.
posted by monkeyman at 4:08 PM on February 3, 2003

« Older Direct action   |   The Floating World of Ukiyo-e: Shadows, Dreams... Newer »

This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments