Does Morrissey have a girlfriend?
February 3, 2003 1:41 AM   Subscribe

Signs of the coming apocalypse Does Morrissey have a (gasp) Girlfriend? I have heard this rumor from a drunken blonde at a party and i call on the power of meta to solve it! tame link here..smiths link here..comeback review order from the great man here.
posted by sgt.serenity (42 comments total)
I know this post leaves the question unanswered, but lets face it, a rumour of this magnitude deserves to be flung at the mercy of all you better informed mefites...i just hope theres no one 'doing a sylvia' if this rumour appears to be true..he does have close female friendsthough...
I have to go now , My adolescent world is being shattered..
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:03 AM on February 3, 2003

Uh just asking (I'm not a Morrisey-phile), is there some law or unwritten rule that says he's not allowed to have one?
posted by PenDevil at 2:14 AM on February 3, 2003

is there some law or unwritten rule that says he's not allowed to have one

Yes! It's his own law because he is asexual, and claims to be celibate.

'Never..Never..had no one ever.' :(
posted by hama7 at 2:31 AM on February 3, 2003

Ah, thanks hama7 I guess that explains it.
posted by PenDevil at 2:33 AM on February 3, 2003

Whatever next? Mark E.Smith doing the buffet at the Bellagio? Jarvis Cocker washing his hair? Thom Yorke recording "Chim Chim Cheree"? Eminem playing Kim Basinger's son?
posted by MiguelCardoso at 2:36 AM on February 3, 2003 [1 favorite]

Thom Yorke recording "Chim Chim Cheree"?

Ha ha!
posted by hama7 at 2:38 AM on February 3, 2003

Thom Yorke recording "Chim Chim Cheree"? Thom Yorke recording "Nobody Does It Better" is all that far off.

It *is* a pretty sexy song, tho'.
posted by adamgreenfield at 3:06 AM on February 3, 2003

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour, but heaven knows I'm miserable now.

Slap me on the patio, et cetera.
posted by hama7 at 3:13 AM on February 3, 2003

maybe he'll explain this when he becomes god.
'....and Morrissey gives a rare TV appearance as GOD
ALMIGHTY (10.50pm, Tue, C5)... '
from ntk
posted by asok at 3:16 AM on February 3, 2003

I'll be damned if you like Morrissey hama7. I'll be damned.

You know a little too much to be a playa hatah. Therefore, I'll be damned if you actually like Morrissey.
posted by crasspastor at 3:33 AM on February 3, 2003

Is this the logical progression from Metafilter to NewsFilter to MetaEnquirer? Here is my contribution: It's got to be Britney.
posted by srboisvert at 4:13 AM on February 3, 2003

I'll be damned if you actually like Morrissey.

This man said "it's gruesome
That someone so handsome should care"
posted by hama7 at 4:43 AM on February 3, 2003

I wear black on the outside, because that is how I feel on the inside.

I seem to recall that as a quote attributed to Morrisey way back when.
posted by a3matrix at 5:14 AM on February 3, 2003

relax all. i have never heard a morrisey song (and if i have it made no impression whatsoever), never gave morrisey any brain time of mine over the last 20 years, hadn't even heard of morrisey until curiosity compelled me to ask a fellow mefite who the wanker was, am still not clear what's supposed to be special about him as opposed to other morose, whining brit musicians (aren't they all morose and whiney?) and i can assure each and every one of you that i have experienced not the slightest sense of vacuum in my life, not even a scintilla of suspicion of anything missing from my experience, as a result. if morrisey suddenly announced that he fucks goats before breakfast or that he is the second coming of the virgin mary, you'd all be quite fine, i'm sure. relax.
posted by quonsar at 5:31 AM on February 3, 2003

who cares. He's always been a self-loathing gay-identified person. I, for one, welcome his step into hetero-land. My side needs less people who are ashamed of being gay. He stopped being relevant as soon as the Smiths broke up.
posted by archimago at 6:00 AM on February 3, 2003

So does this count as "outing"?
posted by Outlawyr at 6:15 AM on February 3, 2003

The Smiths are still the best band I've ever seen live. I'm not a huge fan of their latter records and Morrisey afterwards is less good still, however, they were absolutely spellbinding live.
posted by johnny novak at 6:21 AM on February 3, 2003

Does Morrissey have a (gasp) Girlfriend?

Now this is News. But are we sure the girlfriend is not a transsexual anyway?

You know, I've been yelled at for playing Meat is Murder in the early morning in a coffeeshop. Too "bouncy-jangly." But I sure wish I could hear it right now. It's a great way to wake up.

I'll be damned if you like Morrissey hama7. I'll be damned.

I think he referred positively to Thelma and Louise in the Vonnegut thread, too. Wow, eh?

posted by Shane at 6:21 AM on February 3, 2003

You guys were supposed to JUMP at the opportunity to make a "girlfriend in a coma" joke. C'MON!
posted by chrisege at 6:23 AM on February 3, 2003

You guys were supposed to JUMP at the opportunity to make a "girlfriend in a coma" joke. C'MON!

but I didn't think it was that serious!
posted by mcsweetie at 6:26 AM on February 3, 2003

Girlfriend in a Coma (the Novel)
by Douglas Coupland
(not a recommendation as I haven't read it.)
posted by Shane at 6:30 AM on February 3, 2003

I have. It's good but it gets silly at the end.
posted by Summer at 6:33 AM on February 3, 2003

I'm sooo sorraaay. . .

And this is a terrible link. If it is not coming from here, then it isn't even close to a rumor. There is no way Morrissey has a girlfriend.

And these half baked Morrissey quotes are making me shudder.

And whats next, a link about Bubb Rubb mania?

*realizes it's time to go back to bed*
posted by Quartermass at 6:39 AM on February 3, 2003

The Smiths are still the best band I've ever seen live.

I was a bit young to see them live, when they were around.

However, after seeing several videos of live Smiths, I counter with Brainiac as the best live band, ever.
posted by the fire you left me at 6:58 AM on February 3, 2003

I'll be damned if you actually like Morrissey.

I'm honestly a little surprised myself! It just goes to show that just when I think I have nothing in common with someone, I might actually have something very important in common with someone. (In my experience, a shared love of Morrissey transcends politics.)

Anyway, perhaps this "girlfriend" is just a vicar in a tutu.

(PS the TFYLM on preview: I've not seen Brainiac, but Enon was pretty great, even in a big room with few attendees.)
posted by jennyb at 7:10 AM on February 3, 2003

(aren't they all morose and whiney?)

But that's so much of his charm.

Off-topic, my fave live shows: the Sundays, the Muffs, Stomp, and a few jazz shows.
posted by Shane at 7:42 AM on February 3, 2003

Morrissey never said that he was gay as far as I know, and he no longer seriously claims to be celibate. I heard that he described himself, when asked for an orientation, as "sexual".

Morrissey apparently used to have something going on Linder Sterling around '78-'79. Linder was also involved with Howad Devoto of the Buzzcocks at one point.

He also wrote the following in a series of very amusing letters to a fan in Dec. '81 -
"Will you send me some pornography? Do you HAVE a girlfriend? Do you LIKE girls? I have a girlfriend called Annalisa. We're both bisexual. Real hip, huh? I hate sex."

The Annalisa that he refers to is presumably Annalisa Jablonska, who sang on songs such as "Suffer Little Children" and "Pretty Girls Make Graves".
posted by insomnia_lj at 8:08 AM on February 3, 2003

You mean people don't like Morrissey?
posted by SentientAI at 8:14 AM on February 3, 2003

Perhaps he is a human being and shouldn't be held to his image of yesteryear.
posted by Satapher at 9:17 AM on February 3, 2003

anyone who isnt willing to spend the rest of their existence speculating on morrissey's nocturnal arrangements should get a life.
The love of morrissey transcends all things...isnt it true?
That link to morrissey's letters - absolutely top class !
true satafer - he is human and needs to be loved, just like anybody else does.
posted by sgt.serenity at 9:38 AM on February 3, 2003

Heh...finally a post I can get with. Am I the only one who remembers him being linked with Michael Stipe in the '90s?
posted by Banky_Edwards at 10:01 AM on February 3, 2003

ohmigahd, that is the funniest thing I've read since Vito90's comment last week!
Youknowhat? I think Moz should date Phranc! Now that would be awesome!
posted by black8 at 10:03 AM on February 3, 2003

What makes most people feel happy leads us headlong into harm.

Careful there Mozzer. I know the ladies are soft and they smell nice, but with so much time out of the game you could be in for a shock.
posted by mzanatta at 11:01 AM on February 3, 2003

What the biggest news with Morrissey right now is that he is still UNSIGNED!!!!

Maladjusted was an amazing record, and his last single "Alma Matters" was one of his all time best.

The best/worst smiths album?

Meat is Murder / The Smiths

The best/worst Morrissey album?

Vauxhall and I / Southpaw Gramer

Anyone who tries to tell me that Vauxhall and I isn't the best solo album is going to get spit in the eye.
posted by Quartermass at 11:07 AM on February 3, 2003

Ow! My Eye!
posted by archimago at 11:14 AM on February 3, 2003

Morrissey, IMHO the greatest artist ever, has stated in interviews to have had sex with women, and it's the stuff of legend that he, as a teenager back in Manchester, apparently had a black girlfriend. He's also known to hang out with one or two girls in public, and fans like Wendy Wu are supposed to be close friends. He's also a friend of Courtney Love, apparently.
Truth is, gladioli or not, Moz probably gets laid more often then most people on MeFi.
posted by 111 at 11:19 AM on February 3, 2003

In a record store the other day, I saw a photocopied A4 flyer from a "Morrissey seeking Marr", accompanied by an appropriately moody b&w photograph.

Amusingly enough, the Morrissey photo gallery linked to is a friend's.
posted by John Shaft at 12:30 PM on February 3, 2003

I think Moz should date Phranc! Now that would be awesome!

Well, Phranc did open for Morrissey on his '91 US tour, so they did spend time together.
posted by gluechunk at 9:38 PM on February 3, 2003

Robert Smith [of The Cure fame] once said "If Morrissey told me not to eat meat, then I would eat meat, because I hate Morrissey."

And that's funny.
posted by jonz at 12:01 AM on February 4, 2003

"robert smith is an ARSE !" -oscar wilde
posted by sgt.serenity at 9:28 AM on February 4, 2003

I'm a fan of both Morrisey and Robert Smith (imagine that.) At least, of their music. Anyhow, I have to call lame on the post-maker. I wouldn't say a comment on a Satanosphere message board really counts as any kind of news, just mho. Unless he's "coming out" on his official site or through some reliable news source, I'd say it's bunk.
What amazes me isn't Morrisey's identity, but that people get so hung up on it.
A lot of his lyrics are about gay culture and identity. He is definitely comfortable and has an insight into the gay lifestyle you wouldn't expect to find among a bloke didn't at least have a more-or-less gay identity. "More-or-less" being they key - as not everyone shuts him or herself into a neat little predetermined box as easily as some would like. And he has stated many times he doesn't think people should be classified as gay/straight. His famous quote:
"I refuse to recognise the terms Hetero-, Bi-, and Homosexual. Everybody has exactly the same sexual needs. People are just sexual, the prefix is immaterial."
(I can't find an online source just now, but here's a page referencing Out Magazine's use of it in June 2002. The magazine's web site doesn't seem to archive. Here is a site reposting what I think is the original source, the Dec. 22/29, 1984 interview in New Musical Express.)

His former manager seems to imply he's gay in this Guardian interview ("Gay men just have an affinity for me. I'm at an age where they feel safe, and they see me as a mother, though it's horrifying to think I could be someone's mother. Morrissey is enamored of the 60s, so he liked the ethic of a strong woman manager.") I would imagine she knows him fairly well.

Lots of lyrics also deal with falling in love with girls and generally the tragedy of having to wear a label or live up to other's expectations. I think we could safely say he identifies and embraces gay culture - perhaps because it tends to be less rigid about these things. So maybe he's more gay as an identity but not totally queer when it comes to having sex. Which is perfectly fine if you've never played with other's expectations by saying "yes I'm totally gay" or "yes I'm completely straight."

Interesting, you can't use the search fiction on his site for "gay" because "words under four characters are not indexed." But a Google search reveals this has been quite a hot topic on the site, among the forum comments, especially.

OK. maybe it wasn't such a lame post after all. I just killed 20 minutes on it :)
posted by sixdifferentways at 2:51 AM on February 5, 2003

i forgive you six,
you may listen to 'ouija board,ouija board'
repititiously for an hour as your penance.
posted by sgt.serenity at 10:09 AM on February 6, 2003

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