February 5, 2003 7:16 PM   Subscribe

When network technicians think about sex. It isn't pretty. The storage capacity of sperm, the bandwidth (burst capacity) of an orgasms, latency of data transmission, and viable segment length.
posted by srboisvert (7 comments total)

Imagine a Beowul.. ahh sorry wrong board
posted by stbalbach at 8:23 PM on February 5, 2003

What about the danger of burst packets, though?
posted by dg at 9:02 PM on February 5, 2003

As long as it's not painful, and doesn't bring about a Denial of Service ...

hangs head over his severe lack of impulse control
posted by WolfDaddy at 9:15 PM on February 5, 2003

reminds me of Laurie Anderson's take on sperm:
" some of you may be surprised to learn that if a sperm were the size of a salmon it would be swimming its seven-inch journey at 500 miles per hour. if a sperm were the size of a whale, however, it would be traveling at 15,000 miles per hour, or mach 20. now imagine, if you will, four hundred million blind and desperate sperm whales departing from the pacific coast of north america swimming at 15,000 mph and arriving in japanese coastal waters in just under 45 minutes. how would they be received? would they realize that they were carrying information, a message? would there be room for so many millions? would they know that they had been sent for a purpose?"

(sorry can't do italics)>
posted by marvin at 9:50 PM on February 5, 2003

I hear trojans can induce severe bottlenecks.
posted by JohnBigBoots at 6:36 AM on February 6, 2003

[this is silly]
posted by adampsyche at 6:40 AM on February 6, 2003

marvin it reminds me of Bill Hicks' take on sperm:
"...200 million sperm, and you mean to tell me you think that your child is special because one out of 200 million sperm... that load... we're talking ONE LOAD... connected! Gee what are the fcuking odds! You know what that means... I have wiped entire civilizations off of my chest... with a grey gym sock."
posted by DrDoberman at 8:06 AM on February 7, 2003

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