8-Track Heaven
February 15, 2003 5:06 PM   Subscribe

Wife Swapping Swingers Orgy Porgy Party: Married couples banging their way up the ladder, greedy for position and power, hungry for sex. (NSFW, also, rage-inducing VBScript pop-up) Ah, 8-Track Porn, sadly, no audio included. Explore the rest of 8-Track Heaven, including odd 8-track technology (check out the portable horse player), a gallery of players, the 8-track Hall Of Fame, and bootleg cart artwork. Do you still have any 8-tracks laying around? Wish you did? Don't worry, they still make them.
posted by Stan Chin (15 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite


no 8-tracks (or records dammit!) but a whole library of cassettes. one of my biggest regrets was trading my KISS Solo albums for a stupid record player that didn't even work!

now, why don't they make wife-swapping tracks like they used to in the good 'ole days?
posted by poopy at 6:10 PM on February 15, 2003

Oh, this is a great site with some terrific, funny links. Well done, Stan Chin. [this is good]
posted by Joey Michaels at 6:24 PM on February 15, 2003

This is great Stan! Too bad there are no mp3s of those 8-tracks...
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 6:25 PM on February 15, 2003

Ah, so now we know what Stan Chin ended up doing on his dateless Valentine's Day... from Be a Gentleman to 8 Track Porn in 24 hours. We feel your pain, Stan.
posted by jokeefe at 6:26 PM on February 15, 2003

Do you still have any 8-tracks laying around?

Only about a hundred or so. Lou Reed's Berlin, Patti Smith, Blondie, etc. ... and of course some tapes for the beloved 2-XL.
posted by gluechunk at 6:26 PM on February 15, 2003

Ah, 2-XL... "I... am 2-XL. Thank you for turning me... ON!"

Great link,gluechunk. I can't believe I never thought to Google for a 2-XL tribute site.
posted by Dirjy at 6:50 PM on February 15, 2003

Dirjy, when I started listening to Ira Glass way back when, one of my first thoughts was "He sounds just like 2XL!" Was I the only one in the world to think this?
posted by gluechunk at 7:42 PM on February 15, 2003

We got a camping trailer in the mid-70's that was equipped with an 8-track player, and there were only three tapes that I remember: Best of Bob Seeger and the Silver Bullet Band, Best of Abba, and Best of Three Dog Night. My vacation memories have a soundtrack.
posted by planetkyoto at 8:13 PM on February 15, 2003

"One of the more bizarre artifacts of the early years of punk is the punk 8-track tape."
posted by snez at 8:26 PM on February 15, 2003

Funny: 8-Track Hate Mail!

"Not everyone likes 8-tracks...and they take time to write!"

My favorite: "I thought I liked eight-tracks, but I am mistaken. You are all obviously sick! Do you sit in a cupboard and smell them or something? Come to thing of it . . . Well I don't actually . . .those wallpaper shots don't look like the eight-tracks I know. Are you Americans?"
posted by taz at 12:08 AM on February 16, 2003

Two thoughts:

1) This is the reason you should thank God for pawn shops. Even if it's just to rent a booth, you should be able to sell anything you can make/find. Coal miners should do this.

2) This is the reason I get extremely frustrated by the fat bald guy with a goatee, as he says, "We don't have any need for that now." You have no need for The Woman Hunter, starring Robert Vaughn and TV's Genie? I call your bluff, sir. I cry foul, and I would expect all my homies to back me up on this that the Casino Cash Pawn on Eastern Blvd employs an elitist bastard. Objects have cash value. This is an important concept that we are in danger of losing. I try to hold onto it by assigning a cash value to every item I own, and roleplaying a scenario in which someone buys that object from me.
posted by son_of_minya at 3:02 AM on February 16, 2003

Son_of_minya, I'm gonna take you over to the tent and give you some orange slices and some B-12. Everything will be cool in a few hours, buddy.
posted by Mayor Curley at 5:55 AM on February 16, 2003

Mayor Curley, you sound as though you've had experience at the New Orleans Jazz festival...

son_of_minya, You're not my ex, are you? Every time you say something, it sounds like you are. (not that that is a bad thing, really.)
posted by taz at 8:06 AM on February 16, 2003

posted by n o i s e s at 4:05 PM on February 16, 2003

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