February 18, 2003 11:13 AM   Subscribe

ATTENTION ALL GROWNUPS. "Your "inner child" has long been waiting for a chance to usurp control of your body and force it to perform certain actions. The time is now at hand. Read and follow the instructions below."
posted by Fat Elvis (15 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
That saliva squirting trick is awesome. I just made a mess of my monitor.
posted by oissubke at 11:19 AM on February 18, 2003

"Keep a pocketful of dimes and quarters with you at all times, and constantly leave them in knee-level weird places where only a child would ever look...In the coin slots of gumball-dispensers (give 'em a half-turn.) Imagine the eventual entertainment that will result."

I often do that, because I remember being six or seven and finding that someone had left a coin in every single gumball machine at the supermarket, the discovery of which drove me out of my head with sheer joy.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:23 AM on February 18, 2003

Gleeking, works best after a nice cold Coke.

In high school I saw this done, not grade school. Thanks for refreshing the memories.
posted by thomcatspike at 11:26 AM on February 18, 2003

WOW. I haven't yet mastered the voluntary gleek. But I will study with the commitment of a samurai apprentice. Great link Fat E!
posted by condour75 at 11:34 AM on February 18, 2003

I am NOT sniffing my monitor.

For that matter, most of these are NSTDAW (not safe to do at work) unless you have a locking office door.
posted by yhbc at 11:44 AM on February 18, 2003

This is great! Just keeps going and going...Here's one of my own:

Live in a place that has several inches of snow (like 8 or more). Arrange for a brief warming period that turns the top inch or so into an easily broken sheet of brittle ice. On a very clear and quiet night, punch out flat chunks of the surface part and send them skittering quickly across the frozen surface, kind of like shuffle board stones (or pucks or whatever they're called). As the pieces disintegrate the noise they make will go up in pitch. Throw a bunch at once and make John Cage music.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 12:05 PM on February 18, 2003

Here's one I haven't seen yet on the list (courtesy of my high school physics teacher):

Lightly prick the tips of all ten fingers with a pin. Now, hold your arms out to the sides and spinreallyreallyfast. You can splatter the whole room with blood!
posted by hippugeek at 12:06 PM on February 18, 2003

Here's a favorite of mine, best to play (as they all are) on your more slow-witted friends:

Have someone sit up straight next to a table. Have them extend both arms in front of them, such that their fingertips *barely* reach the table when their arms are straight. Have them hold this position for a few moments. Now, have them keep one arm perfectly still and remind them to sit still and not move their back or either shoulder. Gently take their other arm and bend it at the elbow. Massage their elbow for about 5 seconds, and then carefully lay their arm back down into its original position. This arm will now be 1-2" shorter than the other arm. (you've basically just had them stretch out their tendons and then relaxed the tendons in one arm to get the effect.)

But it's much more fun to tell them it's permanent.
posted by robbie01 at 12:46 PM on February 18, 2003

hippugeek, thanks for a much needed laugh.

and on preview, robbie, I'm trying that on my girlfriend tonight.
posted by Ufez Jones at 12:49 PM on February 18, 2003

great link.

[this is good]
posted by fishfucker at 1:27 PM on February 18, 2003

Good lord, I thought no one outside my family did the elbow trick! You know, of course, that if you kiss your elbow, you will turn into the opposite sex. This is assumed to be a permanent condition as well.

This one isn't so much a body trick, but what the heck: Peel the stringy glue off the back of a catalog address thingy, and roll it up into a ball. Stick it high up on a wall (semi-gloss paint is best), and watch it slowly unravel and creep down the wall like a living booger.
posted by hippugeek at 1:34 PM on February 18, 2003

[this is SO good]
posted by dash_slot- at 3:20 PM on February 18, 2003

While standing in line or waiting in a metro station just place a few quarters or insert country appropriate coin here on your upraised elbow, snap, catch them in your hand and watch passersby stare with awe, envy, and irritation. Give coins to children who want to learn. This is best as a team demonstration.

Also, when space is limited, catch off back of hand.
posted by ?! at 3:30 PM on February 18, 2003

If I admit to having tried about 80% of these many times over the years, will you still love me?
posted by briank at 5:48 PM on February 18, 2003

I love this link. I really do. Thank you (and yes, I've done several of these myself).
posted by wanderingmind at 10:45 AM on February 19, 2003

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