Statue molesters

February 19, 2003 7:40 AM

Ever feel a need to molest a statue? Some people seem to enjoy the statues they encounter a little too much. A lot of pictures showing people groping and sucking unsuspecting statues.
posted by sebas (18 comments total)

Sure, it's all fun and games until you meet one of these folks.
posted by KnitWit at 7:56 AM on February 19, 2003

or one of these folks.
posted by quonsar at 8:20 AM on February 19, 2003

Ever feel like molesting a statue?

Actually, no. Never for one instant. The longer I read metafilter the more I think I'm abnormal in almost every way.
posted by iconomy at 8:26 AM on February 19, 2003

Makes me think that Ashcroft may have been on to something.
posted by toothgnip at 8:36 AM on February 19, 2003

John Aschcroft feels dark desires swell up when he sees Lady Justice.
posted by inksyndicate at 8:39 AM on February 19, 2003

Not quite molesting, but somewhere I have a picture of me leaning against the testicles of Paul Bunyans Ox. They were huge, and very blue (the ox balls, that is).
posted by lasm at 9:14 AM on February 19, 2003

I'm not interested, unless we're talking about Natalie Portman naked and petrified.
If they do have Natalie Portman naked and petrified, tell me where. I'll bring some hot grits.
posted by CrunchyFrog at 9:18 AM on February 19, 2003

I've never wanted to molest a statue, but often I've thought how cool it would be to get up on a horse behind George Washington and pretend we're on to battle the bloody redcoats....
(I need a life!)
posted by LouReedsSon at 9:30 AM on February 19, 2003

When I first saw this site, I thought "what fun." Then I thought about the potential ramifications of future employers viewing pix of me en flagrante delicto with giant mascots and public works of art.

Mistakes on the web are not easily expunged. I thank my lucky stars that it wasn't around during my wayward youth. The thought of all my exuberant excesses and maudlin adolescent poetry being immortalized for life is horrifying.
posted by madamjujujive at 9:45 AM on February 19, 2003

Reminds me of my trip to Verona a few years ago..

They had a statue of Juliet Capulet near her famed balcony, which was done in (I believe) bronze. The whole statue was rather weathered, especially her breast area, which had had several layers of metal worn through on account of droves of tourist guys trying to cop a feel over the ages.
posted by Riptor at 9:53 AM on February 19, 2003

You know, I hate to be critical of these molesters, but they dont even look like they care about their molesting. There is no forbidden touch, no struggle in their eyes, no agony from a world that hates them for their disgusting ideas, ideas they can not ignore and haunt them, mutating in their minds and forcing them to drink and wish for suicide. If these people are truly molesters of statues I want to see the pain! I want to see the years of harm that have frozen these sad pathetic people from being able to enjoy soft human contact. It really looks like they're all being very half-assed in their molesting.
posted by Peter H at 10:11 AM on February 19, 2003

It really looks like they're all being very half-assed in their molesting.

*wipes OJ off screen, tears from eyes*
posted by Yelling At Nothing at 10:26 AM on February 19, 2003

I'll bring some hot grits.
and you'll pour them right into MY pants, young man!

<don pardo>
this week on MetaTalk, we'll be exploring the exuberant excesses and maudlin adolescent poetry of well known intarweb gadfly madamjujujive. with shocking revelations from her sidekick q, as well as insightful linkage and riveting formatting by y2karl, it promises to be the biggest intarweb event since quonsar joined the republican party. don't miss it!
</don pardo>
posted by quonsar at 10:28 AM on February 19, 2003

John Aschcroft feels dark desires swell up when he sees Lady Justice.

apparently, funny things happen when he sees calico cats, too
posted by matteo at 10:43 AM on February 19, 2003

Wonder if there's a statue festishist and/or rabid nationalist taking advantage of the Statue of Liberty right about now.
posted by orange swan at 12:49 PM on February 19, 2003

Actually, no. Never for one instant. The longer I read metafilter the more I think I'm abnormal in almost every way.

You know, I feel the same way whenever I walk into an adult video store. I'm assaulted by heterosexual midget diaper wearing shaved grandmas with whips. So I head over to the gay section where it's normal.
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:58 PM on February 19, 2003

if you ask me it's the HOMOsexual midget diaper wearing shaved grandmothers that you gotta watch out for.
posted by Peter H at 1:11 PM on February 19, 2003

I am with iconomy. What are you people on?
posted by dg at 4:13 PM on February 19, 2003