bad bunnies
March 6, 2003 9:47 AM   Subscribe

"Rabbit Test" chocolate bunnies ranked- and I do mean rank.Now you'll know what NOT to bite the ears off of...
posted by konolia (17 comments total)
So there's sugar in the chocolate bunnies. ok.
posted by Outlawyr at 10:26 AM on March 6, 2003

Be forewarned: Even children would probably prefer no chocolate at all to some of the stuff hiding inside packages marked "milk chocolate flavored," where sugar and partially hydrogenated vegetable oil substitute as the main ingredients.

Just reading that fun fact activated my gag reflex.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 10:29 AM on March 6, 2003

...See's scored the highest, ranking second overall. Its 4.5-ounce bunny is $3, a third less than Godiva's 4.5-ounce milk chocolate bunny at $9 [Emphasis mine]

Perhaps their math skills were affected by an excess of blood sugar.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 10:51 AM on March 6, 2003

Slavery-free Chocolate.

...brutal conditions suffered by boys as young as nine who work in the cocoa fields. ...once on the plantations, some of the boys were rarely paid, and more often beaten with chains, whips and switches. When they tried to leave, they were beaten and sometimes killed.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:55 AM on March 6, 2003

Here's a short (incomplete) list of companies known to sell slavery-free chocolate and cocoa products:

Clif Bar
Cloud Nine
Dagoba Organic Chocolate
Denman Island Chocolate
Gardners Candies
Green and Black's
Kailua Candy Company
Koppers Chocolate
L.A. Burdick Chocolates
La Siembre
Montezuma's Chocolates
Newman's Own Organics
Omanhene Cocoa Bean Company
Rapunzel Pure Organics
The Endangered Species Chocolate Company

posted by five fresh fish at 10:57 AM on March 6, 2003

The heck with bunnies (no offence). Every year, I look forward to the seasonal crack of Cadbury's Creme Eggs. The originals, with the indeterminate white and orange goo inside. Yum. Just thinking about one raises your blood sugar level.
posted by yhbc at 10:57 AM on March 6, 2003

I just put a pancake on a real rabbit's head and eat that.
The pancake that is.
posted by Outlawyr at 11:08 AM on March 6, 2003

yhbc, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads Cadbury eggs open and feast on the goo inside?
posted by filmgoerjuan at 11:49 AM on March 6, 2003

my favorite for a while now has been Cadbury mini eggs. A small solid milk chocolate egg with a crispy shell (quite egg shell-like now that I thinkabout it).
posted by o2b at 1:19 PM on March 6, 2003

mmm. The mini eggs are good. Not to be confused with the 'mini' version of the creme eggs, which are also good and a bit less fattening than their larger counterparts.
posted by mmoncur at 1:40 PM on March 6, 2003

So cheap candy isn't as good as more expensive candy. Not exactly a big surprise.
posted by lazy-ville at 2:41 PM on March 6, 2003

What's with this (from the link):

"Cyndie's feature was accompanied by a fun comparison chart created by her editor, Laura Groch."

It might have helped this rank article.

As far as best chocolate - Niagara Chocolates, and their festive "Bunny Band" no decorative add ons, plain package, chocolate to die for.
posted by DBAPaul at 4:35 PM on March 6, 2003

I like eating the eyes.

So cheap candy isn't as good as more expensive candy. Not exactly a big surprise.

Perhaps to the amateur mouth....:)
posted by jonmc at 7:48 PM on March 6, 2003

Palmer's Solid Milk Flavored White Bunny, the third-worst tasting of the batch, doesn't include any white chocolate. Its ingredients are sugar, partially hydrogenated vegetable oil, whole milk, soy lecithin, artificially flavored vanilla and "U.S. Certified Color."

It's a Crisco Bunny!

There was a great article by Heidi Pollock in Might magazine back in the day called something like "On the sudden unsavory ubiquity of faux caesar salad". Couldn't find the text online but the author explored caesar salad (or what passes for it at McDonalds) in terms of Kierkegaard's notion of leveling, by which he apparently meant an increasing inability to make qualitative distinctions that comes along with particular changes in a culture (philosophy buffs, help us out here). In any event, the author contrasted the original caesar salad (fresh romaine lettuce, anchovies, raw egg...) with the limp, white iceberg lettuce and the little packet of dressing you get if you buy such things from fast food restaurants, and she made some obnoxious and clever point about cultural decline that I won't attempt to butcher from memory here.

Needless to say I think Crisco bunnies are exactly what she was talking about. Shame that people think they're eating chocolate while gnawing on those waxy, oversweetened bars of hydrogenated vegetable oil.
posted by boredomjockey at 9:08 PM on March 6, 2003

Egads: On spellchecking that last post, the spellchecker didn't recognize "Kierkegaard" and suggested "irregardless" as a correction!
posted by boredomjockey at 9:11 PM on March 6, 2003

Nothing, but nothing is as good as stale Marshmallow Peeps a few weeks past Easter.
posted by Vidiot at 9:20 PM on March 6, 2003

Give me Lindt 80% Cocoa bars any day.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:16 PM on March 6, 2003

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