It's just not cricket
March 14, 2003 5:18 AM   Subscribe

It's just not cricket - it would appear that the Cricket commentator at The Guardian is having a bad day.
posted by chill (24 comments total)
Brilliant. No coincidence that it's Red Nose Day. Britons of MetaFilter: dial 123 for the Talking Clock today.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 5:23 AM on March 14, 2003

And Amber Jones emails in to say: "Come watch my video, it's very stimulati..." Eh, actually, that's a bit of junk mail. Still, beggars can't be choosers.

posted by salmacis at 5:28 AM on March 14, 2003

A classic. I hope this turns into a trend.
posted by RobertLoch at 5:59 AM on March 14, 2003

i never did 'get' cricket, but if you're a footie fan then i can' t recommend the guardian's 'the fiver' weekday email highly enough... similar tone, same poor buggers at the bottom rung of the guardian ladder (??); always irreverent, successionally damn funny. search the guardian's email services for 'the fiver': cootie fans won't regret signing up. it's *not* cricket.
posted by n o i s e s at 6:08 AM on March 14, 2003

...erm, 'occaisonally' & 'footie' ...good lord, what has safari done to the spell check?? last time i click that button.
posted by n o i s e s at 6:11 AM on March 14, 2003

posted by n o i s e s at 6:12 AM on March 14, 2003

I just dialled 123.

posted by Frasermoo at 6:26 AM on March 14, 2003

can anybody translate this? who won, for instance?
posted by taumeson at 6:27 AM on March 14, 2003

Nice change to read something honest in a newspaper. It gives me hope.
posted by lathrop at 6:29 AM on March 14, 2003

As an American who loves baseball, I don't really get cricket (one can only love one game), but here's what I understand. Each team gets 50 overs or 10 wickets. Then the other team bats (India elected to bowl first - like pitching - and New Zealand went to bat). New Zealand scored 146 runs, which is a pretty paltry number (usual scores for one-day matches are like 290-282). All India has to do is scored 147 before it uses 50 overs or 10 wickets, or the alloted time for the entire match runs out (cricket matches can be 1 day events, or 5 day events).

As to what an over is - someone else will need to answer that.
posted by rshah21 at 6:58 AM on March 14, 2003

taumeson: match still in progress. India need 12 more runs to win.
posted by PenDevil at 6:58 AM on March 14, 2003

an over is 6 bowls.
posted by remlapm at 7:02 AM on March 14, 2003

You know, I have to say there's nothing I've hoped to see more than the dehumanizing effects of industrialization lead to a mass breakout of fevered and impassioned existentialism. Even if it wasn't real, that was truly inspiring.
posted by Ryvar at 7:51 AM on March 14, 2003

M: I want to complain.

C: You want to complain! Look at these shoes! I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through!

M: No, I want to complain about...

C: If you complain, nothing happens; you might as well not bother.

M: Oh!

C: Oh, my back hurts! It's not a very fine day, and I'm sick and tired of this office.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 8:13 AM on March 14, 2003

brilliant. thanks for my making my morning.
posted by xmutex at 8:22 AM on March 14, 2003

Cootie fans.

posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:35 AM on March 14, 2003

)(^(*^o"$ bBLKU E875O3 96*&^%o*"$ogb!
posted by taz at 8:52 AM on March 14, 2003

what will dialling 123 get you, for us non-UK-resident Anglophiles?
posted by Vidiot at 11:55 AM on March 14, 2003

I just have to say this (and apologies for sounding like a little kid)...


Oh yeah, we're kicking arse alright. Watch out Australia, we're coming to bust you in the final. Oh yeah! That cup's coming to India, mate.
posted by madman at 12:04 PM on March 14, 2003

Fantastic. I wish I'd logged onto the Guardian's commentary last night. Instead, I listened on the radio. Or rather, listened for the thirty seconds needed for me to hear the score -- NZ 49/4 -- at which point the radio went off.

madman: I hope you're right. If you are, though, you'll have to give NZ Cricket and their pitch-doctoring ways some credit for bowling Srinath, Khan, and Nehra into the form of their lives.
posted by Sonny Jim at 2:55 PM on March 14, 2003

Beautiful post, thank you.

madman, you wish! (and so do I, but no one's going to gainsay Brett "Animal" Lee).

We all knew that the Zimbabwe problem was going to be difficult from the moment we heard matches were scheduled to be played there, but I don't think we realised just how much the Cup would be affected.
posted by emf at 3:05 PM on March 14, 2003

Vidiot: an amusing guy of West Indian origin saying "At the third squeak, the time for Comic Relief will be [whatever]," followed by three rubber duck squeaks.

Thanks, Pretty_Generic; I managed to convince several of my friends I had gone insane by emailing them that they should ring the Talking Clock "today, 14/3/03" (so I wouldn't look stupid if they got the email tomorrow and rang then). Managed to convince one to do it by giving him a few more clues and saying that it was a "guaranteed 15 seconds entertainment value", but by then it had turned into such a drawn-out mystery that he was bound to feel disappointed. Still, I was entertained. For 15 seconds, at least.
posted by rory at 3:26 PM on March 14, 2003

Kenya is now assured of $400,000 for making it to the semis. That should go some way in encouraging them.

emf, Brett Lee is a good bowler, but he isn't the best in the world. Tendulkar, on the other hand, is the best batsman in the world. (12000+ ODI runs so far.) Tendulkar tamed Shoaib Akhtar, who was faster than Lee - hit him for 18 runs in his first over, in fact.

No matter who wins, it will be one hell of an interesting match for sure.

Incidentally, here is a database of all cricket players on this planet. You might find this interesting to compare statistics on players.
posted by madman at 9:40 AM on March 15, 2003

The Graun did this for the football World Cup last year, including a wonderful jargon-laden parody of bemused US sports commentary that got quoted as authentic by the BBC. Twice. It's all the more useful for the cricket, because all the matches are on Sky premium channels, which makes them off limits to those who try not to divert much of their salaries to Rupert Murdoch.
posted by riviera at 9:41 AM on March 15, 2003

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