Athena struggles to hold her grotesquely large head up as she prepares to bonk her menacing enemies with her blue ladel wooden driver thing.

March 15, 2003 10:46 PM

The 20 worst NES games of all time. Rube: It is very much revengeful towards Jack, and it pursues him endlessly.
posted by angry modem (19 comments total)

great link. :)
posted by donkeyschlong at 11:56 PM on March 15, 2003

Where the hell is the 50-in-1 or whatever it was called.
posted by delmoi at 12:32 AM on March 16, 2003

equally fun is The Top 10 Naughtiest Games of All Time
posted by milnak at 12:38 AM on March 16, 2003

Dude, I remember those Christian NES games, only the one I had you controlled a dude who walked around throwing fruit at people, and if they were possessed (by demons of course) the demon would fly out of them and leave. If they weren't possessed they got mad at you because hey, you just threw fruit at them. It was great.
posted by cohappy at 1:20 AM on March 16, 2003

cohappy, did you ever get the one where you were David and had to collect the sheep?

I think there was another game about fruit in there too, but I can't remember. Either way, it was a nightmare I would like to forget.
posted by Katemonkey at 3:22 AM on March 16, 2003

cohappy: So how exactly did you tell if people were posessed? And did you take the obvious lesson of the game to heart, and start throwing fruit at random strangers in real life, on the off chance that they were on Beelzebub's payroll? Because, you know, it's slightly more civilized than burning them if they weigh the same as a duck.

If you get sick of playing regular bad NES games, feast your emulators on the amazing world of pixellated delights that is I-Mockery's ROM Hack review page, featuring the greatest breakfast-related video game of all time, Wilford Brimley Battle. Truly, the only downside to this game is that after a few dozen hours of sweat-soaked kung fu oat advocacy, you just won't want to return to web designing or cooking or playing bass for the Rolling Stones or whatever it is you people have for day jobs.
posted by arto at 3:22 AM on March 16, 2003

I gotta be there with him on the How Much Deadly Towers Sucks thing.

Geez, that game was awful...
posted by Cyrano at 3:28 AM on March 16, 2003

Nice 2P!
posted by shepd at 3:53 AM on March 16, 2003

I loved Deadly Towers. It was GREAT once you got used to it.
posted by corpse at 5:29 AM on March 16, 2003

I love castor oil for the same reasons you love deadly towers!

We're like a pair!
posted by shepd at 6:43 AM on March 16, 2003

The worst is one called 'Taboo'. It's not even a game; it just deals tarot cards to you and tells you your 'future' in largely unintelligible Engrish.
posted by RokkitNite at 8:37 AM on March 16, 2003

i'm sorry corpse. my mom thought she was doing me a favor getting me deadly towers - it sucked. and badly.
posted by djspicerack at 9:11 AM on March 16, 2003

FACT: Deadly Towers was the first nintendo game I ever played in my entire life!
posted by mcsweetie at 9:25 AM on March 16, 2003

So how exactly did you tell if people were posessed?

That's just the thing man, as far as I could tell there was no possible way of knowing whether or not somebody was possessed before fruiting them. In fact, the game seems to even recognize the paranoia it's suggesting, since for large parts of it you walked around residential neighborhoods fruit-bombing gardeners and business men with briefcases (almost always possessed) and such.

Sadly katemonkey, this one was the only Christian game I ever played. My parents bought it for my brothers and I, and I think the constant merciless jokes about it bothered my parents more than any violent video game nintendo had out.
posted by cohappy at 9:27 AM on March 16, 2003

Mighty Bomb Jack was fun as hell.
posted by mblandi at 10:14 AM on March 16, 2003

He was RIGHT ON about Dragonlance. I could not figure out that piece of crap for the life of me. I also played Muppet Babies when I was a kid (upon reflection I was a very, very faggy little kid.) Horrid game too. And where's Waldo sucked the wax tadpole too... And I also played...

Damn, I played a LOT of Nintendo when I was a kid apparently.
posted by Veritron at 12:01 PM on March 16, 2003

I've seen a few lists like this. And for some reason, my favorite game of all time is usually on it.

Thank goodness A Boy And His Blob is absent this time.
posted by Newbornstranger at 12:23 PM on March 16, 2003

Is Tag Team Pro Wrestling the inspiration for Homestarrunner's Strong Bad?
posted by McBain at 1:30 PM on March 16, 2003

McBain: Yes, among other NES games. Homestar is steeped in video game history.
posted by Down10 at 11:40 PM on March 16, 2003