AWOL!

March 29, 2003 6:16 PM

“Takoma, the Atlantic bottle-nosed dolphin, had been in Iraq for 48 hours when he went missing on his first operation to snoop out mines… Takoma has now been missing for 48 hours and the solitary figure of Petty Officer Whitaker could be seen yesterday patting the water, calling his name and offering his favourite fish, but there was no response.”
posted by raaka (21 comments total)

"..daily spruce ups.."

they made a break for it at the first opportunity.
posted by stbalbach at 6:24 PM on March 29, 2003

Takoma has now been missing for 48 hours and the solitary figure of Petty Officer Whitaker could be seen yesterday patting the water, calling his name and offering his favourite fish, but there was no response.

As sincerly as I hope that Takoma is slicing through open waters right now, freed of military duties, I find this quote very sad. Its sad to lose a friend, and I hope that's how PO Whitaker felt.
posted by Wulfgar! at 6:33 PM on March 29, 2003

“Why would they go missing when they have the best food and daily spruce-ups and health checks?”

Dolphins will often hang out with humans willingly for free, easy food, even returning to their trainers after escape--but never underestimate the value of freedom.

Go, Takoma!
posted by Shane at 6:50 PM on March 29, 2003

Takoma can't leave the planet with the mice , but at least he left the Iraq situation behind.
posted by rough ashlar at 6:57 PM on March 29, 2003

Wow.
The Mother Of All Metaphors, surely.
posted by Opus Dark at 7:09 PM on March 29, 2003

Takoma is just following the example of his Commander in Chief.
posted by homunculus at 7:12 PM on March 29, 2003

Ooo my little pretty one
pretty one when you gonna come
back Tacoma

You saw the mines and you
turned to run, turned to run
back Tacoma

Never gonna stop, give it up
go back to army life
always going up, going up
to a higher ti-ee-yi-ed-id

Mu-mu-mu-mu my Tacoma....
posted by namespan at 7:26 PM on March 29, 2003

No one's mentioned the other possibility: is there any way for them to know if Takoma got a bit too close to one of those mines he's been looking for? Or he may have fallen prey to some natural predator. Did they not have a tracking device on the dolphin so they could keep track of him? Takoma could be KIA, not MIA.
posted by ZachsMind at 7:26 PM on March 29, 2003

Maybe there was a dolphin war he needed to attend to.

Not to be confused with the equally as funny other "Dolphin War"

Except maybe they are one the same. Either way, good luck and god speed Takoma!
posted by crasspastor at 7:40 PM on March 29, 2003

So long, and thanks for all the fish!

Somebody had to say it.
posted by 2sheets at 7:45 PM on March 29, 2003

This one is so obvious...Tacoma found some sweet, sweet loving! He'll be back once he takes care of "business."
posted by davidmsc at 7:51 PM on March 29, 2003

beautiful.
posted by mcsweetie at 8:08 PM on March 29, 2003

Hush, everybody. Whitaker certainly lost a friend, and it's not impossible Tacoma was KIA.

Someone was out there laying the mines, you know.
posted by effugas at 8:09 PM on March 29, 2003

[tasteless]

So long, chum.

[/tasteless]
posted by Vidiot at 8:20 PM on March 29, 2003

This one is so obvious...Tacoma found some sweet, sweet loving! He'll be back once he takes care of "business."

But honey!
posted by y2karl at 8:24 PM on March 29, 2003

Don't worry...he's already been replaced by a patriotic pigeon.
posted by kirkaracha at 8:40 PM on March 29, 2003

But honey!

I emailed that fellow's URL to ASAIRS about a year ago. They felt he was a genuine "zoophile," not a prankster. Reminds me of Equus.
posted by Shane at 8:41 PM on March 29, 2003

Free Takoma!
posted by Soliloquy at 9:08 PM on March 29, 2003

The cows, on the other hand, have all been accounted for.
posted by samuelad at 9:56 PM on March 29, 2003

the solitary figure of Petty Officer Whitaker could be seen yesterday patting the water, calling his name and offering his favourite fish, but there was no response.

Poor PO Whitaker.
posted by Juicylicious at 10:11 AM on March 30, 2003

Well, Tacoma came back.
posted by hama7 at 10:07 PM on April 1, 2003