Bankruptcy bonus at K-Mart
April 9, 2003 2:41 PM   Subscribe

If you're still working for K-mart A bankruptcy bonus may be delivered to you soon. 1. Work for some company 2. ??? 3. Bankruptcy 4.PROFIT!
posted by elpapacito (11 comments total)
5. Huh?
posted by thatweirdguy2 at 2:57 PM on April 9, 2003

I give this post a 8.1, mostly because of the Slashdot profity marketing plan.
posted by angry modem at 3:02 PM on April 9, 2003

Us gnomes are geniuses at corporations.
posted by TacoConsumer at 3:26 PM on April 9, 2003

Well, then. Party at Bambi's place!
posted by samuelad at 4:43 PM on April 9, 2003

Back when the high-flying '80s were ending, I was employed by a 'financial services' company with close ties to Michael Milkin and his Junk Bonds that went belly-up and ended up taken over by the California Department of Insurance. Every time they had to lay people off, they threw out a 'loyalty bonus' for everybody who didn't jump off the sinking ship, but rather waited to be pushed. On the third round of layoffs, my department ran out of truly expendable people and the boss finally got a chance to sack the people he really didn't like, so I was laid off (but in good company). That year, my tax returns reflected the highest income of my working life to date.

I had a friend who worked for another financial industry failure who stayed 'til the bitter end and got enough bonus money to retire at 48.

Of course, in my and my friend's case, the bonuses were distributed ALL the way down to the grunt-level workers. But being 'financial services', they didn't have any minimum-wage employees. Still, Loyalty Bonuses are not uncommon, but at this point for KMart, ain't a good sign for the future.
posted by wendell at 5:25 PM on April 9, 2003

[this is good] for the underpants gnomes reference :)
posted by stew560 at 7:24 PM on April 9, 2003

KMart is floundering more, so the executives are cashing out while they can, with high bonuses. Yes, I'm sure the pharmacists and line workers are getting some nice bonuses to make everything look fair. (Ok, $3.2 Million per Executive. $15.00 per pharmacist. Hey, it will pay for half the co-pay on one of their medications.)
posted by benjh at 7:25 PM on April 9, 2003

elpapacito: You get +5, Funny mod points from me for recycling a perfectly reusable meme. More South Park and Family Guy references are needed on the Net.
posted by wackybrit at 8:31 PM on April 9, 2003

Ah, so that's what Peter's penis looks like.

Sorry, but wackybrit did ask
posted by benjh at 8:38 PM on April 9, 2003

K-mart is actually coming out of bankruptcy? Man I find that hard to believe, I honestly haven't seen signs of them turning things around. I give them no more than another year before they're toast.
posted by piper28 at 9:19 PM on April 9, 2003

Considering how many threads people have started about Salon on this site, piper28, I think MeFites have proven themselves to be somewhat unskilled at bankrupcy predictions.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 7:57 AM on April 10, 2003

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