Bikini Season Is Back

April 21, 2003 7:51 PM

Is it just me, or are bikini's getting smaller? (NSFW)
posted by glitterbug (53 comments total)

Imagine if this trend switched sexes and you saw guys' bathing suits that allowed one testicle to hang out each side...
posted by Space Coyote at 7:54 PM on April 21, 2003

One size fits most what?
posted by machaus at 8:00 PM on April 21, 2003

space coyote: Ah, but if you're daring enough they already do...
posted by ?! at 8:08 PM on April 21, 2003

What would be the equivalent of a Fark "Boobies" tag for a post like this, Crotchies?
posted by MrBaliHai at 8:10 PM on April 21, 2003

What would be the equivalent of a Fark "Boobies" tag for a post like this, Crotchies?

Maybe Coochies?
posted by SweetIceT at 8:15 PM on April 21, 2003

Argh! Shiver me timbers (NPI), that's me olde eye patch. Lost her in Miami back in '83. Me thinks the Fark tag "Booty" works, mate.
posted by shoepal at 8:24 PM on April 21, 2003

If you think that's small, you definitely don't want to click here.
posted by dhoyt at 8:24 PM on April 21, 2003

oh geez. Female genitalia is so much more attractive without being wedgied with Lycra. Ugh. Just go nude! What a weird culture that will accept those and not nudity.
posted by botono9 at 8:38 PM on April 21, 2003

I think my computer just got genital warts...
posted by spilon at 8:39 PM on April 21, 2003

Man, that is really unappealing.
posted by bshort at 8:42 PM on April 21, 2003

Is it just me, or are bikini's getting smaller?

No, both you and bikinis are getting smaller. :)
posted by Hildago at 8:49 PM on April 21, 2003

whew, I can't tell you how relieved I am to find this thread. For awhile there I thought it was me me getting bigger, but now I know it is just the suits getting smaller.

Could someone please pass me the pecan pie?
posted by madamjujujive at 9:01 PM on April 21, 2003

Ugh, what an ugly crotch picture.
posted by delmoi at 9:18 PM on April 21, 2003

More here from Wicked Weasel.
posted by tomorama at 9:21 PM on April 21, 2003

I think it acts more like a diaphragm than a bikini.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 9:22 PM on April 21, 2003

Okay. Oooo-kay. Maybe I'm getting older and turning into my parents (I'm going to be 35 in about three weeks) but that's just stupid-looking. They should sell those things with a tube of Monistat, 'cause they look like yeast infections waiting to happen.

I'd rather go naked than wear one of those...yeesh, how uncomfortable must those be? Oh, and madamjujujive -- only after I get a slice. :)
posted by metrocake at 9:22 PM on April 21, 2003

As David Letterman would say, we are very near the end of civilization.
posted by moonbiter at 10:45 PM on April 21, 2003

you know, that's just pretty stupid.
posted by oog at 10:51 PM on April 21, 2003

I like to watch.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 11:06 PM on April 21, 2003

I think that female genitalia looks much more obscene with those things covering them than naked.
posted by wrench at 12:21 AM on April 22, 2003

Dang, that's ugly.
posted by psychomedia at 12:31 AM on April 22, 2003

It puts the lotion ON!
posted by StrangerInAStrainedLand at 12:37 AM on April 22, 2003

Much as I hate to buck the prevailing trend, I like it. :)

And the winner is ...
posted by aeschenkarnos at 12:38 AM on April 22, 2003

shoepal - that was hilarious.
Or at least I thought so. I have no real opinion about thongs. I mean, I guess if you feel really strongly that you need to be able to display your whatnots without incurring any indecent exposure fines, go for it. I would like to be able to get away with wearing the goliath thing, but I never, ever, ever would Sweet jesus.
posted by kavasa at 12:48 AM on April 22, 2003

How about the transparent mini bikini? Why even bother to wear clothes... man.

I think our american puritan streak is showing, but yeah nothing like a cameltoe for an attractive look.
posted by Dome-O-Rama at 1:37 AM on April 22, 2003

Damn, why don't you just go naked if you wanna wear these things? Let's face it, you can't actually see anything too offensive on a bottomless chick when she's standing up/walking about. It's just when she bends over or starts doing jumping jacks. But.. even a thong ain't gunna stop that.

And what's wrong with topless anyway? There are GUYS with boobs bigger than some chicks who strut around topless at the beach. So a guy with big hairy boobs can strut around topless legally but a chick can't? Get with the times!
posted by wackybrit at 2:29 AM on April 22, 2003

So a guy with big hairy boobs can strut around topless legally but a chick can't?

I resemble that remark!
posted by internook at 3:28 AM on April 22, 2003

For reference I checked SmallBikinis.com (NSFW), damn some of the bikinis are invisible!
posted by DBAPaul at 3:35 AM on April 22, 2003

Can you say yeast infection...
posted by Cool Alex at 5:00 AM on April 22, 2003

Holy Camel Toe Batman!!!
posted by CoolHandPuke at 5:29 AM on April 22, 2003

First of all, the naked jumping jacks site....God Bless America.

Actually, in Florida, you'll see suits like that all over the beaches, even though nude beaches are nearby which is baffling. With the anorexic little girl look being so popular, it's not like they need a whole lotta coverage, anyway. Plus this look is a product of the same set of mixed messages that gives us Britney Spears. Actual nudity &sex =bad, mindless tittillation = good.
posted by jonmc at 5:40 AM on April 22, 2003

Actual nudity &sex =bad, mindless tittillation = good

I am not sure I follow you here. There is some mental challenge involved in actual nudity and sex that isn't required with a micro bikini?
posted by srboisvert at 6:10 AM on April 22, 2003

Thanks to everybody for the links and glitterbug for the original thread. I, too, am sickened by the shameless displasdbebfe, ...
posted by vito90 at 6:21 AM on April 22, 2003

You are welcome, vito. I am pleased I got my first posted link out of the way, and no one tore me a new A.
posted by glitterbug at 6:42 AM on April 22, 2003

Thing is, jonmc, the nudists are right: actual nudity, over an extended period of time, de-sexualizes it. It becomes normal, even mundane, to be naked. The tiny bikini, I believe, appeals to the woman who does not want her nudity de-sexualized.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 6:56 AM on April 22, 2003

CrotchFilter
posted by matteo at 7:16 AM on April 22, 2003

It's amazing how many people here don't like women...

These bathing suits are about women flaunting their sexuality. Maybe you don't like it, but I assure you that there are plenty of others who do.
posted by eas98 at 7:49 AM on April 22, 2003

It's amazing how many people here don't like women

Smithers . . . release the hounds.
posted by vraxoin at 8:02 AM on April 22, 2003

It's amazing how many people here don't like women...

dislike of a tacky garment does not a misogynist make. myself, I think these demi-bikinis are as gross as banana hammocks, but I could care less if anyone wants to wear one (just don't come talk to me if you do)!
posted by mcsweetie at 8:06 AM on April 22, 2003

Somebody, Leonardo da Vinci I think, said "What you think you see is more important than what you see." Bikinis are about attractive packaging, and the right one on the right wearer can enhance her image.

That being said, an awful lot of these seem pretty wrong to me.

Can't believe I typed all that with one hand...
posted by alumshubby at 8:49 AM on April 22, 2003

So,uh, don't you have to be almost completely shaved for one of these? Cause that gives me the hinks something fierce (little too prepubescent looking I guess).

Can't believe I typed all that with one hand...

This thread just invites too much sharing, doesn't it?
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 8:55 AM on April 22, 2003

So,uh, don't you have to be almost completely shaved for one of these?

Probably a Brazilian bikini wax (funny Salon article). Owwy.

And I have to take issue with the comment about this being women "flaunting their sexuality" - it's about women flaunting their naughty bits, not their sexuality, and it manages to make women with beautiful bodies look skanky-infectious. Not attractive in the least, IMO. The only difference between this and naked is that naked looks better.
posted by biscotti at 10:03 AM on April 22, 2003

If these women actually wore these things to a beach then they might be considered flaunting their sexuality. Right now they're just making a buck, though.
posted by Cyrano at 10:33 AM on April 22, 2003

From Biscotti's salon link:

I feel like a 12-year-old, but a naughty, Lolita kind of 12-year-old. This is hot...

"She made certain the lights were off and when I felt her it was like, oh my God, an unbelievably primal welling of emotion. First from the shock and then from the whole little girl eroticism of it. It's hard to describe. I guess it was like tasting forbidden fruit..."

This is just my opinion obviously, but ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ewwwwwwwww!

Ew.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 10:40 AM on April 22, 2003

I knew there was a reason I joined MetaFilter... and I think I've found it.

But I like how MeFi has progressed from a thoughtful discussion of the world around us into softcore porn. Gotta love it!
posted by ruwan at 10:53 AM on April 22, 2003

...and it manages to make women with beautiful bodies look skanky-infectious.

Oh jesus, what century are we in again?
posted by eas98 at 11:08 AM on April 22, 2003

Oh jesus, what century are we in again?

Oh please. I have no problem with nudity or revealing clothing, I just think that these particular bathing suits look skanky. One can think certain clothing is unattractive without being a prude (or someone who "doesn't like women", as your other post stated).
posted by biscotti at 11:17 AM on April 22, 2003

You know, Fox Metafilter turned into a hardcore sex channel site so gradually, I didn't even notice.
posted by gottabefunky at 12:15 PM on April 22, 2003

Less is less.
posted by SpaceCadet at 2:10 PM on April 22, 2003

Glitterbug - A most excellent first posted link! My first posted link was promptly deleted! Yours has brought much joy to the masses! I can only hope to do as well when I properly lose my MetaFilter virginity!
posted by LowDog at 2:50 PM on April 22, 2003

Oh jesus, what century are we in again?

First, what biscotti said. Also, you seem conveniently ignorant of the fact that the prevailing sentiment expressed so far is that they should just go nude, which would allow them to "flaunt their sexuality" to their hearts content.
posted by cohappy at 5:26 PM on April 22, 2003

Bend on over, LowDog, and I'm sure someone will take care of that virginity problem of yours.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:26 PM on April 22, 2003

fff - JUST like fish and company, after a while, you get old.
posted by LowDog at 1:37 PM on April 23, 2003