Gay Handshake
June 24, 2003 9:04 PM   Subscribe

Beware of the Homo Handshake! Will "Gaydar" finally meet its demise?
posted by LexRockhard (14 comments total)

Is this supposed to be funny? Offensive? Or just plain stupid? I don't get it. Some of the Landover Baptist stuff is quite amusing (the quizzes are good) but the value of this particular link escapes me.

Can someone elighten me?
posted by cbrody at 9:44 PM on June 24, 2003

I suppose it was the priest who drew up those informative diagrams!

The oddest thing, is Marla Jennings' Christian Realty Services [the 5 Star Christian Realtor] exclusively for Landover Baptist Church Members, Apostle's Grove "Fine Equestrian Estates for Discriminating Christians"!

Then sister taffy sez: "Jesus? Do you like it bare back? No shit! [scroll down a tad on the RHS.]

Has to be read to be believed, a starter home cutie at 5,000 square feet? Jesus!

If it wasn't for the fact that these folks are serious it would be laughable.

Don't forget to send a postcard from the holy bible gun club.

Jeffrey Lee Pierce is rolling in his grave about now.

How about a "what would jesus do" thong then?

I'm a believer! [oh sure]
posted by alicesshoe at 9:53 PM on June 24, 2003

We've actually talked about Landoverbaptist before. Although that doesn't stop this from being good, clean parody.
posted by bshort at 9:55 PM on June 24, 2003

i am slightly puzzled.
posted by rhyax at 9:55 PM on June 24, 2003

alicesshoe: "these folks are serious"

Are you being funny? Take the creation science quiz if you have any doubt. Although it's obviously a parody, perhaps there are a few people out there who think it's serious...
posted by cbrody at 10:03 PM on June 24, 2003

At what point does something like Landover Baptist become like The Onion, where we've all seen the joke and so posting stuff from there becomes moot?
posted by jonson at 10:38 PM on June 24, 2003

Y'know, when my band "Tap Foot for Action" hits the big time it's gonna do three things:

  • Give lie to the myth that there's a homo handshake. That canard has simply got to go.
  • Instruct our young ones about one of the key code phrases to attaining anonymous (and FREE!) homosexual sex in public restrooms.
  • Do all this while pretending that the band's name is an exhortation to tap your feet to our damn good jams.

  • posted by WolfDaddy at 10:41 PM on June 24, 2003

    If it wasn't for the fact that these folks are serious it would be laughable.

    Ah. MetaIrony. My favorite.

    Anyways: good ol' landover baptist.
    posted by kavasa at 10:42 PM on June 24, 2003

    Oh I thought it was real. I even wrote the following e-mail to the site owner:

    "Today I was approached by a homosexual sinner who shook my hand using the "homosexual handshake." Thanks to your website, I was prepared. I knew that he expected me to play the "girl" and so later, when we had sex in the bathroom, I surprised him and played the role of the "guy!" Taught him a lesson.
    Praise Jesus."
    posted by adrober at 12:50 AM on June 25, 2003

    What jonson said. There will always be people who are encountering LBC for the first time, but I think the standard needs to be pretty high - something really original, really funny, really unexpected, really topical, really something... and with all due respect to LexRockhard, this really isn't.
    posted by soyjoy at 7:06 AM on June 25, 2003

    Well, it was worth it, though, for adrober's comment. Praise Jesus!
    posted by languagehat at 7:37 AM on June 25, 2003

    As long as I'm complaining about things vaguely Onion-related, why do they get away with this? Where on that page does it say "Even though the date says June 25, every story on this page is a several-years-old rerun"? I mean, come on, they moved to New York and everything, as if they were really gonna put their noses to the grindstone. Is it really that hard to follow the Onion formula once a week? Hrumph.
    posted by soyjoy at 8:36 AM on June 25, 2003

    Tiny Grinch Penis?---why, that's the story of my last boyfriend. Thanks, Landoverbaptist!
    posted by DenOfSizer at 8:44 AM on June 25, 2003

    Irony indeed. Fact is stranger than fiction and I just wouldn't be surprised if there were people that held those "beliefs".

    I agree with languagehat, adrobers tale was a kill!

    ok, so I was a Landover virgin. I see the light! Praise the Lord Jesus! [now gimme that collection plate]
    posted by alicesshoe at 1:36 PM on June 25, 2003

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