Defend Your Castle
July 18, 2003 10:22 AM   Subscribe

Defend your castle! Just in time for flash friday...Watch out, it's addictive :)
posted by unreason (32 comments total)
Warning: Your hand will be very sore.
posted by waxpancake at 10:40 AM on July 18, 2003

Warning: Your hand will be very sore.

Heh, yeah, and I notice that by a strange coincidence, they have a link to a site where you can buy wrist braces :)
posted by unreason at 10:50 AM on July 18, 2003

waxpancake - but will my prostate be any healthier? Actually, on the "sore hand" issue, did you notice the clever ad they were running between levels for a gel filled mouse pad, with the heading "sore wrist?"? Funny. Also funny, trying to pause the game by right clicking and hitting "Play", which usually stops a Flash movie, but in this case gets you a nasty surprise.
posted by jonson at 10:51 AM on July 18, 2003

unreason - beat me to it!
posted by jonson at 10:51 AM on July 18, 2003

how the fuck do you kill the BIG invaders ~level 15? I can't pick them up!
posted by notsnot at 11:33 AM on July 18, 2003

posted by nickmark at 11:37 AM on July 18, 2003

notsnot - you do it by casting death spells on them or by sending suicice bombers out to take them out.
posted by willnot at 11:38 AM on July 18, 2003

I'm currently on level 31 (have been playing this on and off for a few days already), have 150 wizards, 600 archers and 150 builder dudes. At this stage, the game runs itself. :D
posted by snarkywench at 11:45 AM on July 18, 2003

Has anyone figured out how it determines whether any of your guys are killed at the end of a level?
posted by unreason at 11:56 AM on July 18, 2003

be careful clicking on the "sore wrists" link -- it installed the Xupiter data miner (and I have relatively high security settings) which hijacks your home page, installs a custom IE toolbar, and randomly spawns pop under ads.

Adaware is chewing on it right now.
posted by o2b at 12:13 PM on July 18, 2003

it should go without saying i'm using IE on a PC.
posted by o2b at 12:17 PM on July 18, 2003

Level 26, 180000 walls, 50 wizards and 25 archers, and (I think, about 50 in reserve in case they all die). I'm getting a little bored with it. It's nothing but convert, convert, convert.
I feel like a Jehovah's Witness.
posted by dness2 at 12:20 PM on July 18, 2003

I can't get past level four, having trouble actually grabbing the bad guys. Is there some trick I'm missing?
posted by drezdn at 1:21 PM on July 18, 2003

That's a good question unreason... I'd like to know the answer as well...

Level 13 complete!

Units lost: 23 archers 5 craftsmen 2 wizards
(i.e. EVERY single one of my converted units)

posted by Stauf at 1:47 PM on July 18, 2003

Excellent fun.

Try playing this with "It's Raining Men" playing in the background and see if you can keep from cracking up.
posted by jammer at 1:51 PM on July 18, 2003

You click and hold whilst flinging their scrawny bodies in the air. If you get them high enough they splat on the way down. I can now hurl them reliably over the castle to their death with a mere flick of the wrist. Which is good because that's all that my wrist can take after 6 straight hours yesterday. Luckily, once you buy the mana pool and can use the bombs, you can get away with no flinging. My wrist is beginning to recover.
PS. Apparently you can't lose converted units that are still in heaven, so keep a few in storage.
posted by dness2 at 1:51 PM on July 18, 2003

I can now hurl them reliably over the castle to their death with a mere flick of the wrist.

better yet just click and pull mouse down qucikly and let go button - instant death.

as for the game - well it's slightly addictive but waaaaay too easy. not even a challenge which means that its completely pointless - even more pointless than usual.

i hate it when developers make their games so easy - just so that their game will be popular - i mean everyone likes to win so games where you can't loose are generally popular.
posted by carfilhiot at 2:18 PM on July 18, 2003

posted by jacobsee at 2:20 PM on July 18, 2003

Ok, for anyone having the problems I did (though it looks like I was the only one), lead the little buggers.

What about women and children?

You lead them less.
posted by drezdn at 2:24 PM on July 18, 2003

From the faq:
1. At the end of a round, why do I lose units?
Upkeep. If you do not keep enough money to pay for the upkeep before you hit OK to go onto the next round, you will lose your units. The price of each unit is 200 for 1 Wizard, 200 for 1 Archer, and 50 for 1 Builder.

posted by Gary at 2:34 PM on July 18, 2003

From the faq:

Oh. That whole read-the-directions thing.
posted by dness2 at 3:13 PM on July 18, 2003

That's bullshit. I had enough money for the upkeep and then some. Yet it killed 53 wizards, 15 archers (left 5 alive), and 2 craftsmen. At level 16 the game was getting to be really boring. I just kept casting explosive spells and conversion spells.
posted by riffola at 3:36 PM on July 18, 2003

For those that want a game that can't be so easily beat, might I suggest Seconds of Madness.
posted by willnot at 4:58 PM on July 18, 2003

Just listen to yourselves for a second.
posted by eatitlive at 6:23 PM on July 18, 2003

Just listen to yourselves for a second.

Hey, either love my castle, or get dropped from a great height.
posted by drezdn at 6:31 PM on July 18, 2003

Oh. That whole read-the-directions thing.

1, 2 and 3 are also hot keys for the magic spells. So eventually the game just becomes a matter of pressing 3 and clicking on guys.
posted by Gary at 3:00 AM on July 19, 2003

Eventually the game becomes 250 archers, 105 wizards, 50 craftsmen, 20 demolition men in reserve, 230K castle strength, 3,000,000 points, 15,333 casualties, muted, minimized, and me pressing the OK button after each round.
posted by syzygy at 6:20 AM on July 19, 2003

Yeah, I'm where syzygy was, just letting the game run itself, minimized. It needs increasing challenges; once I realized the key was just having a bunch of people I could make into wizards, there was nothing to it. I'm on level 34, and I've had no interaction with the game since level 22, and even that was just upping the castle strength. Too bad, it's fun (if wrist damaging) in the lower levels.
posted by jonson at 10:13 PM on July 19, 2003

for some reason, i could never build demo men... other than that, i got up to level 20 and stopped.
posted by knapah at 1:07 PM on July 20, 2003

I discovered, to my amusement, that you can throw the little guys up in the air, arm your "instant converter" (d-key), and convert them in mid-air. Kinda like a river baptism, only not.
posted by notsnot at 1:20 PM on July 20, 2003

Alas, my friends, converting is not a burden, but a joyous and holy privilege. Especially when one of those little fellas makes it through the hail of hundreds of archers and beats on your castle gate: such a man is worthy, his energies have only been misdirected. It is a commandment to show him the light. Those big brutes, those you can let knock until they melt into a pool of blood. Too bad the suicide bombers are irredeemable.

That said, after 33 stages, 3.8 million points, and almost 20,000 sticksualties worth of serving God tediously, I figured it was time to do like jonson and choose "Play."
posted by Zurishaddai at 5:25 PM on July 20, 2003

It seems the easiest way to make it a little harder would be to not award points for kills that your archers make. You can sit there and do nothing and rack up points; better if you only get points for doing things, I'd think.
posted by nickmark at 3:06 PM on July 21, 2003

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