Maybe Buddhism not for everybody. That's OK.
August 2, 2003 2:10 PM   Subscribe

Dalai Llama Misses Sex, Shoots Guns This is the finest tabloid newspaper headline evar. Remember Peter Falk, in Tom Wolfe's Bonfire of the Vanities, admiring the rhythmic and sadistic anticlimax of the headline: 'Scalp Grandma, then rob her' ? This is better. Should I have worked on the school paper instead of playing bass? I could have been a contender.via fark.
posted by crunchburger (13 comments total)
Peter Fallow. I was just testing you.
posted by crunchburger at 2:13 PM on August 2, 2003

crunchburger played bass,
mamma sang tenor,
me and little brother would join right in there,
on mefi lord, on mefi...

posted by quonsar at 2:15 PM on August 2, 2003

When the rubber hits the road, you've got to keep your eye on the ball.
posted by crunchburger at 3:15 PM on August 2, 2003

For connoisseurs of great tab heds, there's a whole book, Dwarf Rapes Nun, Flees in UFO, a send up of the National Enquirer, that's basically a long shaggy dog story leading up to a plausible reason for that headline.
posted by CunningLinguist at 6:51 PM on August 2, 2003

Let's make fun
Of the homeless
They're living in a box
Cause they don't have any money
Ha ha they're homeless
Ha ha they are Amish
posted by crunchburger at 9:41 PM on August 2, 2003

but how does he feel about homosexuality?
posted by mcsweetie at 9:50 PM on August 2, 2003

Dalai lama? Oh, sorry, I thought that story was the confessions of Dolly the Sheep. (Reads even funnier that way)
posted by wendell at 10:47 PM on August 2, 2003

At least he is not shooting kittens.
posted by stbalbach at 6:35 AM on August 3, 2003

I had a look at some of the links on "Dalai lama slavery theocracy."

The one that said, "And during Chinese President Jiang Zemin's visit to the U.S.... he called Tibet a former "theocracy" that China had freed from slavery practiced under the Dalai Lama," I thought was pretty interesting, and puts your quote, skallas, in an interesting context.

As for peaceful and harmonious monks... I'd like to know where even the Buddhist scriptures say that was the case! The sutra of Hui-Neng, for instance has him fleeing for his life from disgruntled monks.

I like the story of the Dalai Lama talking to some journalist about sexual frustration and being a monk, and what to do about it. He apparently reached under his robes and made an exaggerated wanking motion, and said, "well, there's always this!"
posted by Blue Stone at 7:10 AM on August 3, 2003

wow, I was just kidding, I didn't know he really was a bit of a bastard. thanks, skallas.
posted by mcsweetie at 7:44 AM on August 3, 2003

I'm willing to believe, skallas, but I'm always leery of information that can't be corroborated by any source I've ever heard of. In page 1 of those Google results we have one article published by a small Australian left-wing magazine, one website hosted on geocities, another on tripod, one discussion thread posted to from a hotmail address, and one article on (aka "Canada").

I'd love to see something more substantial as this is a really interesting topic. Can we surface anything else, here?
posted by scarabic at 11:23 AM on August 3, 2003

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