The English-to-12-Year-Old-AOLer Translator

August 10, 2003 10:42 PM

DA ENGLISH-2-12-Y3AR-OLD-AOLER TRANSLA2R WIL TAEK WUT U WRIET IN IT AND TURN IT IN2 TEH MAN3R A 12-YEAR-OLD AOLER WUD WRIET IT!1!1 LOL JUST WUT U NED 2 KIK START A MONDAY!!1!!
posted by riffola (31 comments total)

Brings new meaning to the term "Script Kiddie".

...and it's on a homestead freesite.
(Do they have bandwidth issues? Can we expect it to disappear soon?)
posted by wendell at 11:00 PM on August 10, 2003

Here's a mirror of the The English-to-12-Year-Old-AOLer-translator.

I can't find the email of the site owner, so if he or she wants I'll take the temporary mirror down, in any case it's a temporary mirror.
posted by riffola at 11:09 PM on August 10, 2003

TAHT IS NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN1!!1 OMG TEH U ONE ANOTH3RS ARMS BIRDS IN DA TRES -
THOSE DYNG GANERATIONS - AT THERE TEH SALMON-FALS DA MAKAR3L-CROWDAD S3AS
FISH FLESH OR FOWL COMEND AL SUM3R WUT IS BGOT3N BORN AND DEIS
CAUGHT1!1! OMG LOL IN TAHT S3NSUAL MUSIC AL N3GL3CT
MONUMENTS OF UNAEGNG INT3L3CT!11!!11 WTF

Take that, William Butler Years.
posted by arto at 11:34 PM on August 10, 2003

TEH COMENTED JAVASCRIPT IS FUNY

// RANDOMLY CHANGE AS 2 3S
// DO STUF WIT IS
// IF THEYRE AN -NG WORD CHANGA IT 2 -NG
// IF THEYRE IS AN IE- WORD SUCH AS LIEK PUT TEH E IN FRONT OF DA THIRD LETER 2 MAEK IT LEIK
// OUTPUT A RANDOM MOUNT OF AXCLMATION MARKS AND 1S
// OUTPUT A RANDOM MOUNT OF QUASTION MARKS AND EXCLMATION MARKS
// RANDOMLY PRINT ANY COMBINATION OF DA ABREVIATIONS OMG WTF AND LOL AT DA 3ND OF S3NT3NCES

MONG OTHER THNGS IT JUGLAS AL OCURANCES OF THEIR THERE AND THERE1111!1 WTF
posted by quonsar at 11:39 PM on August 10, 2003

Well, now. That was a gratuitous FPP.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 11:47 PM on August 10, 2003

Maybe this will help:

WUT MAEKS A GOD THREAD POST 2 METAFILTAR
A?!!??!!?? OMG WTF GOD POST 2 METAFILT3R IS SOMETHNG TAHT METS TEH FOLOWNG CRIETRIA MOST PEOPLA HAEVNT SEN IT BFORE THEIR IS SOMATHNG INT3RESTNG ABOUT DA CONT3NT ON DA PAEG AND IT MIGHT WARANT DISCUSION FROM OTHERS
AS11!! OMG WTF A FIRST-TIEM POSTER OR NU M3MBR OF METAFILT3R TAEK A LOK AT TEH OLDER POSTS 2 GET A FEL FOR WUT CONSTITUTES A GOD LINK!!1111 WTF LOK AT DA LINKS TAHT CARY 10 OR 20 COM3NTS 2 SE WUT EVARYONE IS TOKNG ABOUT!1!!!11 WTF IS TEH LINK UR ABOUT 2 POST PROVOCATIEV ENOUGH 2 SHOW 2 EVARYONA??!!! WTF IF SO POST AWAY
A1!!!!! OMG WTF LOL GOD THREAD VALUAS UNIQU3NES OVER NOVALTY!!111! OMG WTF LOL
posted by dg at 12:31 AM on August 11, 2003

Please make it stop.
posted by Dreama at 12:45 AM on August 11, 2003

WRITNG IN ENGLISH IS DA MOST NGENIOUS 2RTURE 3V3R D3VIESD FOR SINS COMITAD IN PR3VIOUS LIEVS!!!11!1 OMG LOL
posted by Nothing at 12:57 AM on August 11, 2003

FOURSCORA AND SEV3N YAARS AGO OUR FATH3RS BROUGHT FORTH ON THIS CONTIENNT A NU NATION CONC3IEVD IN LIEBRTY AND DADICAETD 2 TEH PROPOSITION TAHT AL MEN R CREAETD EQUAL11!!!1! WTF LOL NOW W3 R 3NGAEGD IN A GREAT CIVIL WAR TESTNG WHATHER TAHT NATION OR ANY NATION SO CONCAIEVD AND SO DADICAETD CAN LONG ENDURE!1!1! WE R MET ON A GREAT BATLAFEILD OF TAHT WAR1!!11 OMG WTF LOL WE HAEV COME 2 DADICAET A PORTION OF TAHT FEILD AS A FINAL RESTNG-PLAEC FOR THOSE WHO H3R3 GAEV THERE LIEVS TAHT TAHT NATION MIGHT LIEV!!1!11 WTF IT IS AL2G3THAR FITNG AND PROP3R TAHT WE SHUD DO THIS1!!!111 LOL BUT IN A LARGAR S3NSA WA CANOT D3DICAET WA CANOT CONSECRAET WA CANOT HALOW THIS GROUND1!!111 WTF LOL TEH BRAEV M3N LIVNG AND DAAD WHO STRUGLED HARE HAEV CONSECRAETD IT FAR ABOVE OUR POR POWER 2 AD OR DETRACT1!11!! WTF TEH WORLD WIL LITLE NOTE NOR LONG REMEMBR WUT WE SAY HAR3 BUT IT CAN NEVER FORGET WT DID HERE1!111 OMG WTF LOL IT IS FOR US DA LIVNG RATH3R 2 B D3DICAETD HERE 2 TEH UNFINISHAD WORK WHICH TH3Y WHO FOUGHT HER3 HAEV THUS FAR SO NOBLY ADVANCED1!1!1!!1 LOL IT IS RATHER FOR US 2 B HARA D3DICAETD 2 TEH GREAT TASK R3MANENG BFOR3 US-TAHT FROM THASE HONOR3D DAAD WE TAEK INCRAAESD DEVOTION 2 TAHT CAUSE FOR WHICH THEY GAEV DA LAST FUL MEASURE OF DAVOTION-TAHT W3 H3RA HIGHLY R3SOLVA TAHT TH3SE D3AD SHAL NOT HAEV DEID IN VANE TAHT THIS NATION UND3R GOD SHAL HAEV A NU BIRTH OF FREDOM AND TAHT GOVERNMENT OF TEH PEOPL3 BY TEH PAOPLE FOR TEH PEOPL3 SHAL NOT PARISH FROM DA AARTH1!!!!1 OMG LOL

I'm sorry.. I'm so so sorry.. I just can't stop...
posted by PrinceValium at 1:34 AM on August 11, 2003

PANCAEK PANCAEK LA LA LA1!!11 WTF
posted by johnnyboy at 2:39 AM on August 11, 2003

Il est drôle parce qu'il est vrai.
posted by Smart Dalek at 2:53 AM on August 11, 2003

IF U RILLY WANT 2 HEAR ABOUT IT DA FIRST THNG U PROBABLY WANT 2 KNOW IS WH3RE I WAS BORN AND WUT MAH LOUSY CHILDHOD WAS LIEK AND HOW MAH PAERNTS W3RE OCUPEID AND AL BFORE TH3Y HAD ME AND AL TAHT DAVID COPERFEILD KIND OF CRAP BUT I DONT FEL LIEK GONG IN2 IT IF U WANT 2 KNOW DA TRUTH!!11 WTF
posted by rory at 2:59 AM on August 11, 2003

If you put OMG OMG LOL!!!1 into it, you get

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief,
That thou her maid art far more fair than she:
Be not her maid, since she is envious;
Her vestal livery is but sick and green
And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.
It is my lady, O, it is my love!
O, that she knew she were!
She speaks yet she says nothing: what of that?

Really weird.
posted by iconomy at 3:25 AM on August 11, 2003

I FOR ONA W3LCOM3 OUR NU TWELVE YAAR OLD AOLER TRANSLA2RS11!1 OMG WTF
posted by Frasermoo at 3:37 AM on August 11, 2003

I HAEV 2 ADMIT TAHT METAFILTER IS ON3 OF DA BST SIET IV3 AV3R CMA ACROS BUT THIS TIEM THIS THRAAD IS RILLY DEPRESNG11!1 WTF LOL
posted by Sijeka at 5:17 AM on August 11, 2003

O TAHT THIS 2 2 SOLID FL3SH WUD MALT
THAW AND RESOLVE ITSALF IN2 A DAW
OR11!1 WTF TAHT DA EVERLASTNG HAD NOT FIXD
HIS CANON GANEST SALF-SLAUGHT3R111!!1 OMG WTF LOL O GOD1!!11 OMG LOL GOD
HOW!1!!1!!1 OMG LOL WEARY STAEL FLAT AND UNPROFITABLA
SEM 2 MA AL DA US3S OF THIS WORLD
FEI!111 LOL ONT!!!1!!! OMG WTF LOL AH FEI!11111! TIS AN UNWEDED GARDEN
TAHT GROWS 2 SED THNGS RANK AND GROS IN NATURA
POSES IT MARELY!111!!1 OMG LOL TAHT IT SHUD COM3 2 THIS1!1!! OMG WTF

I think I shall be ill now....
posted by grabbingsand at 5:57 AM on August 11, 2003

P3RFACT NOW I CAN R3PLY 2 AOL3RS IN THERE OWN LANGUAEG1!!!1 LOL
posted by dabitch at 6:43 AM on August 11, 2003

OMG, SO TH3Z 12-Y3R-OL AOL'RZ, THEY VIBR8?? >>>:P
posted by serafinapekkala at 6:49 AM on August 11, 2003

my br41n hur7z
posted by ilsa at 7:51 AM on August 11, 2003

The quick red fox jumps over the lazy brown dog.

TEH QUIK R3D FOX JUMPS OV3R TEH LAZY BROWN DOG11!1!1 WTF

T3H QUIK R3D FOX JUMPS OV3R TAH LAZY BROWN DOG111!!!!!!11 OMG WTF

T3H QUIK R3D FOX JUMPS OV3R TAH LAZY BROWN DOG11!!!111!!!11!1!1!!1!1!!!!1!!!111!!!11! OMG LOL OMG WTF

T3H QUIK R3D FOX JUMPS OV3R TAH LAZY BROWN DOG1!11!111!11!!1!11!1!!!1111!1!11111 OMG WTF LOL OMG LOL OMG WTF

From this we conclude that a steady state of idiocy is reached within two iterations. Discuss possible sociopoltical ramifications.
posted by Johnny Assay at 8:12 AM on August 11, 2003

Boy, this sure is funny.

Yep, that's some real funny stuff we got here.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 8:50 AM on August 11, 2003

I blame B1FF. But, then again, I'm net.old.
posted by NortonDC at 8:52 AM on August 11, 2003

I just put Shakespeare's Hamlet through the translator.....now I've read the skinhead version and the 12-year-old AOLer version.....but I still have not read the original.
posted by SpaceCadet at 8:59 AM on August 11, 2003

This is great for making sense out of Microsoft tech support email.
posted by Foosnark at 9:16 AM on August 11, 2003

U R RIGHT111!1 WTF ANOTHER NU YORK TIEMS ARTICLE WUD HAEV BEN A MUCH BTAR FP1!11!!1 OMG LOL R3GISTRATION REQUIERD11!! OMG WTF LOL
posted by britain at 9:37 AM on August 11, 2003

KEKEKEKEKEKEKE
posted by shadow45 at 2:52 PM on August 11, 2003

TEH CAT IN TEH HAT IS A HARD-HITNG NOVEL OF PROSE AND POETRY IN WHICH TEH AUTHOR R3-EXMIENS TEH DYNMIC RHYMNG SCH3M3S AND BOLD IMAEGRY OF SOME OF HIS AARLEIR WORKS MOST NOTABLY _GREN 3GS AND HM_ _IF I RAN DA ZO_ AND Y CANT I SHOWAR WITH MOMY_?????!!?! WTF IN THIS NOV3L THEODOR3 GAIESL WRITNG UND3R THE PSEUDONYM DR11!! WTF SAUS PAYS HOMAEG 2 TEH GREAT DR1!!11!11 LOL SIGMUND FR3UD IN A NIGHTMARISH FANTASY OF A RENEGAED F3LIEN HELPNG TWO U CHILDR3N UNDERSTAND THEYRE OWN FRUSTRAETD SAXUALITY

1!1! LOL
posted by dejah420 at 6:34 PM on August 11, 2003

Civil, not one but 2 "i don't like it/this is not a valid fpp" posts in the same thread? Bad form.

The fact that you came back 9 hours later to again protest the thread's existence probably speaks volumes about you.

Also, dg wins.
posted by Ynoxas at 10:10 PM on August 11, 2003

Make it three.

The first was commenting on the actual wording for the text on the front page, not the content. The second was to point out that everyone seems to think it very entertaining to essentially repeat the same joke, which wasn't very funny to begin with. And this third is a final revisitation, to see if anything funny or interesting has come up in the meantime. I see that it has not, save for a personal attack, which I feel honor-bound to respond to.

Note that I never said this shouldn't be a valid FPP, nor did I say that I didn't like the link itself, so both your points are simply wrong. I don't know how many "volumes" this says about me except that perhaps I've got too much free time at my place of employment.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 7:54 AM on August 12, 2003

Brain. Hurt.
posted by Down10 at 3:53 PM on August 12, 2003

TWAS BRILIG AND TEH SLITHY 2V3S
DID GYRE AND GIMBLE IN DA WAEB
AL MIMSY WARE DA BOROGOVES
AND DA MOM3 RATHS OUTGRAEB1111! WTF
posted by KF at 1:27 PM on August 13, 2003