Don Mueller, Single Guy!
August 15, 2003 9:53 AM   Subscribe

Don Mueller's interests include single women, video production and radio/TV announcing. The fifty-something Colorado bachelor is "secretly famous" and a member of Mensa. Don debates why he's not attracted to fat women, takes lessons in flirting and provides statistical proof as to why he's still single. Don even hits a first date home run with the help of Old School Hollywood royalty! In the days of well-designed and well-written weblogs, this is one of a disappearing breed of personal websites that will be missed (albeit in an ironic kinda way).
posted by VelvetHellvis (32 comments total)
He sounds pretty stupid for someone who brags about being in Mensa. I did pick up some great dating pointers, though.
Usually, for a first date, I like to keep things simple. So I made plans to take her out for a pizza at a nice, quiet restaurant, one that had the right atmosphere so that I could talk to her. And, afterwards, I could perhaps show her my massive record collection at home.
posted by kirkaracha at 10:03 AM on August 15, 2003

Yeah. I won't miss them.
posted by pizzasub at 10:03 AM on August 15, 2003

Gee, not many Mensa members have such trouble with subject-verb agreement.
posted by LittleMissCranky at 10:13 AM on August 15, 2003

Best quote, "She purred, "Thanks for the advice!!" Yes, I believe I made software contact with the shapeliest hard-drive that I've ever seen."

Um . . .
posted by Outlawyr at 10:14 AM on August 15, 2003

Don Mueller needs a haircut.
posted by aacheson at 10:21 AM on August 15, 2003

oh god i went to add the mary romantic link to this discussion and it's completely dissapeared

has mary found love?
posted by Peter H at 10:24 AM on August 15, 2003

"Heck, I've had websites in various parts of my house for 23 years! But, enough about my own problems in acquiring the right insecticide...."

He slays me.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 10:33 AM on August 15, 2003

So, he paid money to an organization that tells him he's smart?

/weakest link
posted by Veritron at 10:36 AM on August 15, 2003

No, I think he joined the organization for the pick-up lines:

"I'm glad you're smart. Since I'm in Mensa, I happen to like smart women!"
posted by eastlakestandard at 10:45 AM on August 15, 2003

statistical proof as to why he's still single

ie: He's 100% dildo.
posted by scarabic at 11:00 AM on August 15, 2003

More plump women for those of us that prefer them. Thanks, Don!
posted by tommasz at 11:04 AM on August 15, 2003

On behalf of fat women everywhere, can I just say-- We're not missing out on anything. What a dud. I'm so glad I'm happily married and not having to be out on the dating scene encountering losers like this guy.

Veritron-- I actually am eligible to join Mensa, but I thought the same thing... "If *I'm* the smart one, why should I give THEM money?"
posted by Shoeburyness at 11:05 AM on August 15, 2003

scarabic: I thought women liked dildos! Ba da boom! I'm here all week eternity, folks.
posted by billsaysthis at 11:13 AM on August 15, 2003

I'm a fat chick, too, and am quite lucky to have an incredible boyfriend from the 10% of men who dig big girls. I'd say about 99% of women don't care for Don's type, so we're even.
posted by VelvetHellvis at 11:17 AM on August 15, 2003

As someone in the middle of getting a divorce, let me just say that I'm suddenly afraid. Very very afraid.
posted by JanetLand at 11:20 AM on August 15, 2003

Mensa, eh? Mensa sems pretty low on the totem pole.
posted by Sangre Azul at 11:30 AM on August 15, 2003

oh god i went to add the mary romantic link to this discussion and it's completely dissapeared

has mary found love?

She is now at Not quite as wacky as before, but still around.
posted by Prospero at 11:35 AM on August 15, 2003

Still, though, remember those yon days you talked about yourself rather than link to a bunch of wire service stories?

I want this guy to be my new daddy.
posted by solistrato at 11:40 AM on August 15, 2003

solistrato: Your comment confuses me? Huh?
posted by VelvetHellvis at 11:47 AM on August 15, 2003

I would just like to point out that Sangre Azul's second link features "Poetry and Prose of The Intellectually Gifted", in a section called "Crumbs of The Mind". Ouch.
posted by taz at 11:57 AM on August 15, 2003

You guys are all too hip for your own good. The guy doesn't seem like an asshole to me, just sort of eccentric and nerdy with a weird sense of humor. He's certainly not coming off as any more self-absorbed than most people, just perhaps more open about how great he thinks he is. Trust me, all of us with blogs are far more vain than this guy, we're just more subtle about it.

Bringing up your mensa membership every five minutes is a bit dorkish, though, but then it probably matters a lot to him.

I know a lot of people who remind me of this guy, and they just don't register to me as objects of contempt so much as harmless goofballs.

Anyway the lack of self-consciousness on both design and content for a web site is a bit of fresh air after years of visiting sites where you KNOW the owner actually stressed out at some point over whether he was XML-compliant or not.
posted by Hildago at 12:03 PM on August 15, 2003

The site is all work, no play. Don's work; dating, being smart, his job and no children.
posted by thomcatspike at 12:13 PM on August 15, 2003

I see I'm not the only one digging for info from a certain reality show starring Don Mueller.
posted by modofo at 12:39 PM on August 15, 2003

He writes like Miguel Cardoso. Also the "we're so smart we have trouble getting along with each other!" from the flirting article is a bit of a stretch perhaps.

On the other hand, the naivete (wow! Lucille Ball and Milton Berle!) and the amazingly unfunny jokes (if I went without inviting Ruth, that would make me Ruthless etc etc) are actually quite refreshing though.
posted by 111 at 12:48 PM on August 15, 2003

He saves all his TV Guides - beginning in 1959. Wow.

I like the old-style homepages. There should be a museum of the Internet with prime examples like Don's archived.
posted by theora55 at 12:49 PM on August 15, 2003

That's exactly how I found Mensa Don Mueller, modofo. The reality TV Don Mueller hails from my home town and I have a friend who knows him. I was looking for the home town coverage on him and baaaadaaaaaboooom, I found Mensa Don.

Maybe he should be the next "Bachelor". It would be refreshing to have someone who's not twenty-something and "hot" on that show. What kind of women would fight over Mensa Don? Interesting premise?
posted by VelvetHellvis at 12:56 PM on August 15, 2003

Im with Hidalgo

Hes a quintessencial Mensan. Im a member of Mensa (see below) and events are full of Don Meullers. Ill tell you what though, I pay $40/year to spend time with people that I can learn things from and inspire me creatively. Thats as opposed to hanging out with jocks and idiots from work who think "orientated" is a word. That $40 is less than I spend on coffee in a couple of months and it puts me in touch with people and situations I would have otherwise never known.
posted by propagandist at 2:11 PM on August 15, 2003

As much as I wish it wasn't, "orientated" is a word.
posted by modofo at 2:53 PM on August 15, 2003


Thanks modofo for noting my mistake.
Hasty, defensive post before a late lunch.
posted by propagandist at 3:22 PM on August 15, 2003

Wow, that Mary sure has some pretty strong ideas about how to introduce yourself to her. I was thinking of suggesting a buddy of mine contact her but the sheer obsessiveness of her site, especially that letter, was just too over the top. Not that mine is all that much better though my contact form is a wee bit simpler.
posted by billsaysthis at 3:26 PM on August 15, 2003

I kept looking for I KISS YOU !. . .I am sure it's in there on one of those pages.
posted by Danf at 3:30 PM on August 15, 2003

That would be Mahir.
posted by JanetLand at 4:59 PM on August 15, 2003

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