Gotta Gut a Gund.
August 25, 2003 10:17 AM   Subscribe

Toxic Teddies. Cute. Lethal.
posted by gottabefunky (17 comments total)
The bye-bye bear made me laugh. Out loud.
posted by widdershins at 10:31 AM on August 25, 2003

posted by me3dia at 10:38 AM on August 25, 2003

Smackie! Brilliant post title, btw.
posted by Ufez Jones at 10:43 AM on August 25, 2003

well, they're also made from pvc or Polyvinyl Chloride, possibly the most toxic plastic around. There are many environmental groups that feel pvc is the main culprit for the prevalence of dioxin in our environment - dioxin being a rather nasty carcinogen.

so i would agree w/ ufez: the post title is particularly appropriate.
posted by bluefish at 10:52 AM on August 25, 2003

This would be perfect to put in your cubicle if you're surrounded by those women with freakin' calendars and knick knacks of kitty cats, teddy bears, precious moments and other sentimental crap.
posted by jennak at 10:53 AM on August 25, 2003

yeah, stupid women ;) (j/k)
posted by mrgrimm at 10:57 AM on August 25, 2003

A woman in my office has her workstation full of plush toys, flowers, trinkets of every description AND a smiley face bead curtain hanging at the entryway to her cubicle. I try not to walk by it very often.
posted by orange swan at 11:13 AM on August 25, 2003

Great idea for Halloween. Heh, make those kids scared when they try to sleep :-)

orange swan - you should take a bear and "kill" it and put it in her cubicle. leave a note saying no more bears will be hurt if her cube returns to it's "normal" state. but I guess management wouldn't like that, huh?

on preview: I'm so mean! (it's a good thing I work from home!)
posted by evening at 11:21 AM on August 25, 2003

Happiness is a Warm Gund
posted by phong3d at 12:21 PM on August 25, 2003

I would - but this woman cries at the slightest possible excuse. Loudly. In full public view.
posted by orange swan at 1:06 PM on August 25, 2003

I can only assume these are the inspiration. I used to work in a gift store that carried the full line of Cherished Teddies; the photos on the linked site really don't convey their unabashed twee-ness.
posted by melimelo at 1:17 PM on August 25, 2003

That's a horrible situation. I feel your pain. (at a safe distance, thank God)

Anyway, bears are not cute. They are savage predators who can swipe off your head or disembowel you with a casual blow with their powerful clawed paws. They hardly need chainsaws - although they probably would like to use them if it would make hunting easier. That said, I have nothing at all against bears.

Hey - that's a thought: Orange Swan, why don't you get some 9x12 photos of bears in action - feasting on fresh kill or, even better, in the act of killing - and plaster them all over your office. You can try giving some to the weepy coworker too: Tell her that you've always admired bears for the efficient, adaptable and omnivorous predators they are. Tell her that you collect accounts of bear attacks on humans and that you feel for the bears (as the humans encroach on their territory) and inform her that you are trying to find a congressperon to sponsor your bill to reintroduce bears into US urban areas to thin the human herd. Pull out a sheet of paper and ask her if she will add her name to your list of citizens supporting your bill while telling her ( as you look fixedly into her eyes ) that you're sure she'll sign because "I know you love bears as much as I do."
posted by troutfishing at 1:32 PM on August 25, 2003

Actually, it's not the bears that bother me so much as that blasted smiley face bead curtain. At least the bears don't make noise, while the bead curtain rattles everytime someone goes near it.

Thanks for the bear baiting ideas though. You people are, um, very creative.
posted by orange swan at 1:43 PM on August 25, 2003

The Bad Taste Bears...
posted by twine42 at 3:41 PM on August 25, 2003

I have completely failed to find a link to anything connected with the "Terror Bears" from the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles RPG. I hang my head in shame.
posted by majcher at 3:46 PM on August 25, 2003

I would - but this woman cries at the slightest possible excuse. Loudly. In full public view.
And this is a problem because.....?
posted by dg at 5:54 PM on August 25, 2003

Sounds preferable to a co-worker of mine, who cried only in the private company of the head of the company, who would then solve whatever "problem" my co-worker was having with any other employee. It was a spectacular political tactic, and the only price was her dignity.
posted by jonson at 9:13 PM on August 25, 2003

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