wacky and fun fortune cookies

August 27, 2003 6:55 PM

You have a reputation for being deceitful and treacherous. Welcome to the odd world of online fortune cookies. This man collects them, the weird ones, that is. And sometimes there is some good advice. These sites make me wish that I'd kept all the fortunes I've picked up over the years.
posted by ashbury (15 comments total)

stick with your wife.
posted by quonsar at 7:30 PM on August 27, 2003

I tried this once, although my fortunes weren't quite as entertaining.
posted by howa2396 at 7:52 PM on August 27, 2003

My favorite fortune ever: "Do not clutter your schedule with the expectations of others."

Runner-up: "Your skills will accomplish what the force of many cannot."

Recent weirdness: "Sometimes even love shows a re-run."
posted by hilatron at 7:53 PM on August 27, 2003

This is a good link. In bed.

The only one I've ever saved, because of its appropriateness to my life, said: "The most rewarding love is self love." Amen, brother.
posted by vito90 at 8:21 PM on August 27, 2003

My fave.
posted by trillion at 9:39 PM on August 27, 2003

I never saved them because they all seemed so trite and pointless. Like they all come from the same clearing house.

The only one I ever held on to: "Society prepares the crime; the criminal merely commits it." (In bed.)
posted by chicobangs at 9:47 PM on August 27, 2003

I've only opened a fortune cookie once in my life, and it said The nightlife is for you - at the time I was a journalist writing about nightclubs and taking a break from all the, er, hard work that entails by... going to more nightclubs.

I'm certainly not opening any more - You are over the hill for the nightlife now, sad old man would be too much to bear.
posted by jack_mo at 3:04 AM on August 28, 2003

vito90: I got that exact same one and its still in my wallet today!

Self love, hehehe...
posted by Dr_Octavius at 5:44 AM on August 28, 2003

The self love one I got was even worse-- "Your first and only true love is self-love." I saw a cartoon once drawn by someone who had gotten the exact same one. I don't remember which cartoon, though. For a while, a place I went to had terrible fortunes-- every single one predicted you would inherit or find money in some way.
posted by Shoeburyness at 7:43 AM on August 28, 2003

My roommates and I discovered that "for revenge" works as well as "in bed" most of the time.

Friends long absent will soon return to you for revenge!

In God we trust, all others must pay cash for revenge!

You will live to a ripe old age for revenge!
posted by Foosnark at 8:04 AM on August 28, 2003

Someone new will enter your life soon...for revenge in bed!
posted by gottabefunky at 9:09 AM on August 28, 2003

I had chinese today, and I got "Don't let friends impose on you."
posted by LittleMissCranky at 11:21 AM on August 28, 2003

"Do not be distracted by meaningless messages." - only one I've ever saved.
posted by dragstroke at 12:01 PM on August 28, 2003

From the Bad Cookie letters:

My second cookie said, "I would go nowhere in life" I own three successful business and am now branching on to the internet.

First of all, how odd that a fortune speaks in the first person (other than that being-held-prisoner one), and secondly, the words "on the internet" are linked to this page. Yeah, "branching" is one way of putting it.
posted by soyjoy at 12:50 PM on August 28, 2003

I once saw a joke one that went something like:

"Bad luck and misfortune will haunt your pathetic soul for all eternity"

That about sums it up for me....
posted by joquarky at 1:56 PM on August 28, 2003