Thank God for Airport Security

September 10, 2003 8:26 AM

Thank God for Airport Security. Can you believe this?
posted by ZenMasterThis (24 comments total)

The freight cost -- billed to McKinley's employer -- was $550. At that rate, "he could have flown first-class," Phillips said.

Yeah but his (former?) employer wouldn't have paid for that now would they.
posted by Outlawyr at 8:32 AM on September 10, 2003

"He violated the law of stupidity if nothing else," Hill said.

This is a crime now? And you thought the war on drugs was driving up the prison population. I suppose their are exemptions for those in high places.
posted by biffa at 8:42 AM on September 10, 2003

This was, of course, the lead story on local news last night. They said that the cabin of the plane usually hovers around 0-10 degrees.

"He violated the law of stupidity if nothing else," Hill said.

This is a crime now?

Probably not, but I'm sure they can round-up some terrorism suspicion charges on him. It's important to note that he, to my knowledge, has yet to be charged with anything for this stunt.

If he hadn't made it, he definitely would be the leading candidate for the Darwin Award 2003.
posted by Ufez Jones at 9:09 AM on September 10, 2003

This is a crime now? Tv news mentioned he broke a federal act stowing away like that. What federal law?
posted by thomcatspike at 9:10 AM on September 10, 2003

"He violated the law of stupidity if nothing else," Hill said.

This is a crime now?

Settle down. It says just above that:

"Other than the federal statute, District Attorney Bill Hill said he could not cite any law that McKinley broke."

Hill was making a joke.... a pretty accurate one if you ask me.
posted by Witty at 9:21 AM on September 10, 2003

Ufez Jones No way! The Darwin Award for Fantastic Try should go this year to the fella who stuck a firecracker up his butt ... and lit it.

/derail?
posted by magullo at 9:22 AM on September 10, 2003

"He violated the law of stupidity if nothing else," Hill said.

Actually, I don't think he violated the Law of Stupidity at all. He seemed to be following it, to the letter.
posted by jozxyqk at 9:35 AM on September 10, 2003

Sadly I can believe it. I'm surprised it hasn't happened before now. Who hasn't thought of doing this?

Magullo, all I've got to say is, if someone's stupid enough to stick a firecracker up their ass and light it then they deserve the ensuing trauma. I hope this idiot can't reproduce anymore because his special brand of dumb isn't needed in the gene pool.
posted by fenriq at 9:45 AM on September 10, 2003

I suppose their are exemptions for those in high places.

Aren't there always?
posted by ZenMasterThis at 9:46 AM on September 10, 2003

On further consideration, maybe he unwittingly did us all a favor by showing how easy it is to do this BEFORE terrorists attempted it...

"Patriot of the Year" award, anyone?
posted by ZenMasterThis at 9:49 AM on September 10, 2003

fenriq: His injuries have resulted in sexual dysfunction.

So, barring artificial insemination, that's one in the win column, IMHO.
posted by Cerebus at 10:06 AM on September 10, 2003

Am I the only one that immediately thought of this song?
posted by aenea at 10:15 AM on September 10, 2003

Here's The Smoking Gun link.
posted by PrinceValium at 10:31 AM on September 10, 2003

First class for $550?
posted by Espoo2 at 10:32 AM on September 10, 2003

My first thought was of Henry "Box" Brown. I still remember the picture in a history book of him popping out of a box. "Henry Brown. Brown had his friend ... send him off in a wooden shipping crate. Three feet deep, two feet wide and three feet long, the box became Brown's home for 26 hours while it was shipped from Richmond to Philadelphia."

Anyhow, I think quickly jumping on McKinley and calling him stupid when he exposed a major flaw in airport security is wrong. They didn't stop him, they were caught with their pants down, and he's the stupid one, yeah what ever.
posted by soren at 10:36 AM on September 10, 2003

Aenea beat me to "The Gift"! Though I suppose that song may have turned off a few people who may have otherwise taken the travel-by-box route. (Unlike, say, Lou Reed's take on heroin.)
posted by lisa g at 10:40 AM on September 10, 2003

Raise your hands if you've ever seen cartoon characters box up their nemesis and ship them off to Kukamunga. Now, keep your hands raised if even once you've thought...."wow, I wonder if that would work?"

Apparently it will. Darn the luck...if I'd only known that in 3rd grade...there would be some confused kids running around Kukamunga still....
posted by dejah420 at 12:35 PM on September 10, 2003

I suppose if he'd been carrying a pocket knife, he'd have been pulled out, searched, questioned, inspected, detected, infected, neglected...etc.
posted by Banky_Edwards at 1:54 PM on September 10, 2003

amazing to think that grown men like him don't possess even basic information like, at 30,000 feet you'll soon freeze but that won't matter because there's not enough oxygen to sustain life. if not for the serendipity of his crate ending up in a pressurized hold his dad would have been unpacking one stiff corpse.
posted by quonsar at 3:13 PM on September 10, 2003

aenea

I thought you referring to some Alice In Chains there... "I'm the Mannnnn in the Booooox..."
posted by FearTormento at 3:14 PM on September 10, 2003

quonsar: Most airliners' baggage compartments are pressurized. (Probably for structural reasons, as well as reducing annoyance to passengers; the stresses on the fuselage would be weird if you only pressurized the passenger half.) Pets, for example, are often shipped in baggage.

The article specifically mentions that he was shipped on "a pressurized, heated cargo plane operated by Kitty Hawk Cargo." Browsing KHCargo's web site suggests that all of their cargo is shipped pressurized (and possibly heated --- meaning it doesn't go below freezing, not that it's comfortable). You could probably get more information from their tariff manual.
posted by hattifattener at 5:38 PM on September 10, 2003

It truly irked me that the news here in Oz didn't even mention what it was he was in jail for.. but I'm pretty sure that the 'federal statue' mentioned in the AP article is 18 USC Sec. 2199 which says it's naughty to enter or secrete yourself aboard an aircraft, for the purpose of transportation, without the consent 'person in charge'. Which will get you a fine and/or up to a year in jail. Of course, that leaves aside the issue of there already being outstanding warrants on him so he's moderatly screwed regardless...
posted by adamt at 6:01 PM on September 10, 2003

From the firecracker article.
AN horrific firecracker accident

Fire the editor.
posted by Nauip at 7:20 PM on September 10, 2003

Seems to me that he could just as easily have shipped a bomb, then. WTF wasn't the package xrayed?
posted by five fresh fish at 10:29 AM on September 11, 2003