"Give me ape on human action or I'm leaving,"

August 11, 2000 11:21 PM

"Give me ape on human action or I'm leaving," say Tim Burton who is pushing for a love scene between human Marky Mark and sexy ape Helena Bonham-Carter in his remake of Planet of the Apes.
posted by skallas (5 comments total)

I don't know what's worse. The original where a smarter-than -the-average-bear rides off into the sunset with a female cavewoman of questionable intelligence. Or this.

No, I have decided. Definately the original. Consenting creatures is fine, forcing yourself on a vegetable brained cavewoman is a BAD THING.

posted by holloway at 12:36 AM on August 12, 2000

Ah....humans having sex with animals. Another taboo bites the dust. I guess it's ok if the animal in question is "a slinky, sexy female ape".

Because, God forbid she should be ugly or anything - that would just make the whole thing disgusting.
posted by the webmistress at 12:45 AM on August 12, 2000

I guess Charlton Heston's lucky he didn't land on The Planet of the Bonobos.
posted by owen at 5:31 AM on August 12, 2000

You know, I must say "Give me ape on human action or I'm leaving" once a day, and so far, I have been given no ape on human action. So, let me ask...who, exactly, is the human here? I mean, we've got Helena Bonham Carter in an ape costume, and we've got Marky Mark. So it seems to me that we've got ape on ape action here. And while ape porn may be just what Lancelot Link has been waiting for, I'll probably give it a pass.
posted by Ezrael at 12:14 AM on August 13, 2000

"Give me ape on human action or I'm leaving"

I think you may have found a new email sig, Matt.
posted by the webmistress at 12:42 AM on August 13, 2000