Different Reasons For Pride In One's Country
September 12, 2003 8:39 PM   Subscribe

Portugal: Officially the greediest, laziest and most drunken country in the West. What dubious, highly debatable sources of pride do you attribute to your own country?
posted by MiguelCardoso (36 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Put together our No.1 status of purchaser of soft drinks with our No.1 status as consumer of alcohol and you shall easily arrive at our unparalleled love of mixed drinks. Factor in the rock-bottom physical exercise and our extravagance on food and you may form an idea of how backward happy we are.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 8:44 PM on September 12, 2003

Canada has the highest per capita consumption of Kraft Dinner. Something about the warmth, comfort, and cheery orange-yellow colour.

Don't look at me though - I haven't touched the krap since my college days.
posted by orange swan at 8:59 PM on September 12, 2003

posted by philfromhavelock at 9:00 PM on September 12, 2003

All right, Phil, if we MUST go for the obvious, hockey, and We're Not AmericansTM.
posted by orange swan at 9:04 PM on September 12, 2003

posted by cbrody at 9:06 PM on September 12, 2003

So greed + laziness + drunkeness = Fado?

Good deal.
posted by homunculus at 9:16 PM on September 12, 2003

Okay, it is the obvious answer, ms. swan. But, for the record, I don't find hockey to be dubious or debatable... so I haven't really answered the question. I'll be back later.
posted by philfromhavelock at 9:17 PM on September 12, 2003

Miguel... you're cannibilizing your own posts.
posted by crunchland at 9:21 PM on September 12, 2003

But enough about you...let's talk about Miguel.
posted by jpoulos at 9:29 PM on September 12, 2003

Miguel, look at the path the USofA has taken in the last year; look at the responses that the warbloggers have taken to it, and answer me: Do you really want an answer to that question? Dubious and debatable pride? Get real, my Portuguese friend.

But on the plus side, we kick ass at bear trampoline.
posted by Wulfgar! at 9:32 PM on September 12, 2003

We have guns. All of us. Everywhere. Just so you know.
posted by cedar at 9:34 PM on September 12, 2003

/me packs his bags to head to Portugal
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 9:51 PM on September 12, 2003

My country liberated Iraq from evildoers!
posted by PrinceValium at 10:09 PM on September 12, 2003

Most FPPs?
posted by keswick at 10:12 PM on September 12, 2003

I'm moving to Portugal.
posted by cheaily at 10:36 PM on September 12, 2003

Lately Sweden has shown itself to have an strong cowboy knife culture.
posted by HTuttle at 11:01 PM on September 12, 2003

Well, at the risk of being a broken record, I'd also like to point out that Portugal holds some dubious driving records too:

Portugal has a ratio of 21 deaths on the roads for every 100,000 inhabitants and Greece 20.2, while the United Kingdom has 5.9, Sweden 6.6 and Holland, 6.9. Next come Germany (9.5), Denmark (9.7), Italy and Ireland (both with 11), Austria (13.4), Luxembourg (13.5), Belgium (13.7), France (14.4), and Spain (14.6).

It's been nearly a decade since my visit to Portugal, a beautiful country, but I have yet to recover from the ptsd syndrome developed after riding in a Lisbon cab. I am pleased to note that in dim lighting, the facial tics are now hardly perceptible.

Miguel my friend - I must chide you on another topic. When are you going to be done with that damnable book that is keeping you all but locked away? There has been a dearth of that urbane Portuguese je ne sais quois peppering our threads, and we are the poorer for it. Now with learning of the national propensity to sloth, perhaps I have a clue as to why.
posted by madamjujujive at 11:51 PM on September 12, 2003

While on the subject of dubious claims to fame--ahem, I know I'm gonna get hated for this one--there's our beer. Sure, Canada makes some seriously decent beer, but to hear the superiority of our beers to America's trumpeted by someone drinking Molson Canadian or Labatt's Blue (both extremely popular, and rather highly Americanized) seems a bit daft. (Actually, after a decade of legal drinking, I'm still not exactly sure what would comprise a Canadian style, as opposed to a craft-brewed English/Irish/Belgian/German-style, or a mass-market Americanized beer. Labatt 50? Molson Ex? Moosehead?)

On the other hand, we excel at the whole Not Being Americans thing, even while eating McDonald's, watching American TV, wearing Levi's and Nike and (of course) posting to American websites.
posted by arto at 2:32 AM on September 13, 2003

arto: You're forgetting that our McDonalds' have that little maple leaf at the bottom of the arches.

I don't have the numbers handy but I'm certain Canada has the most films produced in our country that aren't actually Canadian films, meanwhile our own film industry struggles.

We have a female pop-star factory.

We are 'Weird Al' Yankovic's best market, by quite a margin. (he even performed in my tiny home town of Charlottetown one year) I think that says something about us (good of course, but less humour-inclined might call that dubious)

Every single one of our provinces has it's own separation movement.
posted by Space Coyote at 3:56 AM on September 13, 2003

I'm surprised that so many Mediterranean countries ranked high on the laziness list. Let me explain: if the study considered laziness aversion to and evasion of work, then I would expect Portugal, Spain, Greece and Italy to top the list -- not necessarily in that order ;), but the study equates laziness with sedentary lifestyle and in Spain walking is still a basic fact of life, although not as much as before, and I imagine that it is a large part of other Mediterranean cultures as well. Also, there are relatively few obese people in Spain, compared to northern european countries and definitely much fewer than in the US. Unfortunately this is also changing because our young people are drawn like moths to the flame of highly processed "american-style" fast food and are puffing out accordingly,

heh, the little fatties.

Granted, the majority of Spaniards still regard going to the gym to work out or jogging in public as curious activities, but even so, most adults would be considered thin by western standards. So then, is it just the diet that nearly eliminates obesity? Is it genetic? Or perhaps it is all of the damn tobacco?

Anyway, the Spanish are probably the best in the world at being cocky (chulo): talking big with little to back it up. All bark and no bite. I always find it funny to watch a football match between a Spanish team and an Italian team. The Spanish spend all the match barking at the Italians, trying to act tough. The Italians just kick and elbow them until the Spaniard falls down (talking the entire time until he is face down on the pitch) and then walk away grinning.

Oh, and hands down, we have the best fiestas.
posted by sic at 4:48 AM on September 13, 2003

Throwing things at David Blaine.
posted by chrid at 5:44 AM on September 13, 2003

Apparently, in the US we're toughest on crime: highest per capita AND absolute numbers of citizens in prison of any country on Earth. We're #1! We're #1! (as long as Russia doesn't bring back Gulags)
posted by troutfishing at 6:00 AM on September 13, 2003

My country has liberal views on pornography and the environment, but strict rules against immigration. It is rich, but has high taxes and is very expensive. It is occupied by beautiful, tall, blonde, pale people, predominantly Christian, but not very religious. They drink a lot of beer and a lot of wine, but there are few fat people. It has few large corporations (shipping excluded), but exports lots of agricultural products; cheese, bacon & fish.
posted by cx at 7:10 AM on September 13, 2003

When asked at the Miss Universe pageant what was the greatest thing about her country, this Miss USA replied "the beaches."
posted by JanetLand at 7:39 AM on September 13, 2003

Home of the Whopper.
posted by macadamiaranch at 7:59 AM on September 13, 2003

double post
posted by clavdivs at 8:20 AM on September 13, 2003

/me packs his bags to head to Portugal
I'm moving to Portugal.

Somewhere, a portuguese is saying "there goes the neighborhood." Then he's pouring anither drink.
posted by jonmc at 9:16 AM on September 13, 2003

posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 10:58 AM on September 13, 2003

Since no one else has said it...

USA: Officially the most imperial country in the West.
posted by The Michael The at 11:11 AM on September 13, 2003

NZers say "per capita" more frequently per capita than any other nationality.
posted by John Shaft at 2:19 PM on September 13, 2003

I'm Irish, and let me say my our top government officials are in a crisis meeting in an attempt to rectify the fact we apparently are NOT greediest, laziest and most drunken country in the west. It's what our tourist industry sells itself on, for chrissakes!
posted by Celery at 2:37 PM on September 13, 2003

We lock up kiddies
posted by johnny7 at 4:04 PM on September 13, 2003

My country drinks most coffee per person in the world. I am still awake...
posted by hoskala at 5:09 PM on September 13, 2003

the portugese must be incredibly poorly educated not to acknowledge the scots as the biggest collection of alcoholic bums ever put on gods earth and for those that wish to propose the irish in this regard , i refer you to dublins banning of stag parties and their subsequent moronic transfer to edinburgh.
posted by sgt.serenity at 8:19 PM on September 13, 2003

Amusingly, Miguel posted this about the same time I received my plane ticket to Lisbon...
posted by adamsc at 11:46 PM on September 13, 2003

Personally I think that the Alcohol consumed in Portugal is mostly consumed by English Holidaymakers.
posted by seanyboy at 3:02 AM on September 14, 2003

« Older 100 years of design.   |   hand grenade to a baby Newer »

This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments