NeoWhig Out!
September 16, 2003 2:10 AM   Subscribe

NeoWhig: The Smart Party for Smart People...and, yeah, you too.
Could this be the Third Party that changes history by stealing votes from... well, I don't know, maybe The Hamster for President Campaign? But can you name another political group where YOU can become their vice-Presidential candidate? And don't they have the coolest party logo ever?
It's just refreshing to see some political satire that doesn't mention Bush, Dean or California.
posted by wendell (21 comments total)
Or you could support self-admitted fictional candidate Will Markson, but I don't trust any joke candidacy with a self-proclaimed serious side, and, besides, how is a fictional candidate going to improve real voter turnout? Well, at least he has a blog...
posted by wendell at 2:16 AM on September 16, 2003

You know, back in the day in Canada, we used to have an official, actually-on-the-ballot, satirical party known as the Rhinoceros Party. Sadly, their official site is no more. (The Wayback Machine to the rescue!) It's a pity they're no longer the force they once were in Canadian federal politics--who else has the cojones to bring about such much-needed reforms as rubber sidewalks (to protect the drunks!) or driving on the left side of the road (to be phased in gradually--heavy trucks first, then buses...) They brought a kind of lucidity to the political scene that will be sadly missed....
posted by arto at 2:27 AM on September 16, 2003

(p.s. Jello Biafra for Prez!
posted by arto at 2:28 AM on September 16, 2003

Ummm, ).
posted by arto at 2:29 AM on September 16, 2003

Maybe we need to bring the Scorched Earth Party out of hibernation... on second thought, maybe not.
posted by wendell at 3:00 AM on September 16, 2003

arto: don't forget their promise to rename Canada to Florida so it would be warmer.
posted by Space Coyote at 3:56 AM on September 16, 2003

Why am I voting neowhig in '04? Because Groundhog Day should be a national holiday.
posted by birdherder at 4:12 AM on September 16, 2003

Bring back Pat Paulson.
posted by whirlwind29 at 5:05 AM on September 16, 2003

I still miss the now-defunct Illinois Lesbians Party.
posted by UncleFes at 6:28 AM on September 16, 2003

I knew Illinois Lesbians. Illinois Lesbians were friends of mine. And UncleFes, you're no Illinois Lesbian.
posted by ursus_comiter at 6:36 AM on September 16, 2003

If the "manifesto" is not a poorly written hoax, they're still nowhere near the actual Whigs, a party which counted Abraham Lincoln amond its members.
posted by hama7 at 6:37 AM on September 16, 2003

Wow, I knew hama7 was a bit of a political dinosaur, but to see him bristle at a parody of the Whigs? That's just impressive.
posted by Space Coyote at 6:45 AM on September 16, 2003

smart party?

3. Geneva Concention does not apply to Muslims or the French.

if this single spelling error is any indication, these guys are a regular bunch of low watts. I'm sure there's more. but I'm sleepy.
posted by mcsweetie at 6:54 AM on September 16, 2003

I'm actually registered as a whig. I may be the only one in the state though.
posted by trox at 7:01 AM on September 16, 2003

While it certainly doesn't have much relevance to the NeoWhig jokesters, The Cornell Library's Making of America collection offers scans the American Whig Review from 1845 to 1852.
posted by samuelad at 9:08 AM on September 16, 2003

Trox, what state? duh, I could just look in your profile probably. I"ve been thinking about starting the Whig party back up for real. Just haven't ironed out the platform as a whole - perhaps we could be the new Anti-Jacksonian party - Michael Jackson.
posted by djspicerack at 10:55 AM on September 16, 2003

19. The name of the Commonwealth of Virginia will be changed to East Virginia.

heh. Most of the humor leans right; some of it's pretty good, though.
posted by Tlogmer at 12:50 PM on September 16, 2003

Could Morpheus be right? Is NeoWhig is the One to vote for?
posted by buzzv at 1:12 PM on September 16, 2003

I think "Chest Notgerman" would be a great name for a rock band.
posted by tommasz at 1:18 PM on September 16, 2003

6. The Dixie Chicks are not hot; Shania Twain, on the other hand, is mega-hot.

I don't know if I could, in good conscience support a party whose platform bows to Canadian Special Interests, especially since the chunky Chix is extra-yummy.

I'll be sending this year's political contribution to the Monster Raving Looney Party (UK)
posted by Ogre Lawless at 1:54 PM on September 16, 2003

Here's another Monster Raving Looney candidate: Johnny Cheese for President, the candidate who is, apparently, anti-secret-ballot-voting...
posted by wendell at 12:01 AM on September 17, 2003

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